T&C's Disclaimer

Terms & Conditions: 

This website, a glorious masterpiece (or at least that's what she said), was meticulously crafted by Stoner (yes, that's his real name, no judgment) while perched upon his porcelain throne. Armed with nothing but his trusty mobile phone and a questionable amount of enthusiasm (possibly fueled by a questionable beverage), Stoner embarked on a mission to optimize your experience. Buckle up, because things might get a little bumpy (like that last burrito).

Section 1: Ode to the Mobile

Approximately 90% of this website was birthed and nurtured on a mobile device. So, for any glitches or questionable layouts, we kindly ask for your forgiveness. Think of it as a charmingly imperfect art project, except the art supplies were questionable decisions and a serious case of the munchies.

Section 2: We're Not Your Typical Website (Thank Goodness)

Forget the fancy bells and whistles. This website is more like a ramshackle collection of links, images, and cryptic messages scribbled on a napkin. But hey, don't knock it till you try it!  Our team, a ragtag bunch of brilliant misfits (some fueled by herbal remedies, others by fermented grapes), is dedicated to transforming this website into a lead-generating honeypot so potent, it'll make Willy Wonka jealous.

Section 3: Disclaimer: We Like Our Freedom (and Maybe Pizza)

Here's the thing: our official policies are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. They basically don't exist. So, depending on who picks up your call, your experience might be a hilarious adventure or a complete disaster. We can't guarantee the individual on the other end can forward your inquiry or even knows a better service exists. But hey, that's the beauty of working with free spirits!

Section 4: Seeking Your Tribe (The Ones Who Don't Give a Fk)

We're on the hunt for kindred spirits who, like us, embrace a certain joie de vivre (or perhaps a healthy dose of apathy). We take zero responsibility for the quality of our links or products (buyer beware!), but if you're feeling adventurous and decide to inquire about a custom solution, things get interesting. Here's the catch: it's all based on a handshake agreement (or maybe a fist bump, depending on the vibe). The possibilities are endless! Some of our "operatives" (we use that term loosely) prefer a good smoke session, while others find solace in a strong beverage. So, if you choose the "Melanz-style" inquiry (think freelance with a dash of chaos), you essentially become the sponsor of their time (and possibly their next pizza delivery).

Section 5: The Pro Option (Because Apparently, Some People Like Rules)

If you crave a smidge of structure, the "pro" option might be your jam. Here, you get to lay down the law (terms and conditions, that is). We'll happily follow your lead, ensuring a (somewhat) more conventional experience.

Final Note:

Look, we can't promise this website will change your life. But we can guarantee a wild ride, a few laughs, and maybe even a newfound appreciation for the well-oiled corporate machine (after you experience the beautiful chaos that is us). So, what are you waiting for? Dive in, explore, and don't be afraid to get a little messy. After all, that's what life (and this website) is all about!

We will exercise your brain that's all we can promise 🤯