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Looking back at 8th grade, there’s so much I wish someone had told me. It was a weird mix of growing up, figuring out friendships, and trying not to panic about high school. If you're in middle school right now, here’s what I wish I knew back then — from me to you.

1. Friendships will change -- and that's okay

8th grade is that weird, in-between year where everything starts to change — your friends, your mindset, and even how you see yourself. One thing to remember: it’s okay if your friendships shift. You and the people around you are growing and meeting new people, and that’s normal. Don’t feel like you have to stick to just one group — be open to new connections and let yourself evolve too.

2. It's okay to ask for help

One thing I wish someone had told was that it's okay to ask for help. I tended to try and fix and solve every problem on my own and that's a lot of pressure for a 13 year girl. At the time, it seems like the only way to do things because you are trying to become your own person and be independent, but being independent doesn't always have to mean self-reliant. If you need help to figure something out, ask. That was probably one of the biggest things I learned since then.

3. Confidence isn't loud -- it's quiet self-respect

To be confidence doesn't have to equal being the loudest or most "popular" person in the room. Being confidence should mean you are content with yourself, not looking into other people's opinions for validation. I know, especially in middle school, people try to pose a social hierarchy among their classmates and peers, but truth be told, those people are the people you should care the least about their opinion of you. As long as you love yourself, nobody's opinion of you should affect you. Hold your head up high because I know you are pretty awesome.

4. Start to build habits -- in schoolwork and your life

Because this is the last year of middle school, any habits you have now, you will probably bring into highschool. Building good study habits now will definitely help you when it really matters like during midterms and final exams in highschool. Besides for building habits in school, you should also start building ones in your daily life as well. For instant, start making a routine when you get home for how long you study, eat dinner, extracirrculars, and a good sleep schedule. Going into high school with a bad sleep schedule will definitely catch up to you, so start building these habits now!

5. Grades don't define your worth

Another big thing I think a lot of people, including me, struggle with is associating self worth with your grades. This is a big one because I used to breakdown if I got anything lower than a 90.  Through my 8th grade year, I had to realize that not all days are good days but that doesn't mean they are all bad day either. The coursework definitely becomes more difficult in 8th grade and it can be an adjustment that takes a while to adjust to. Overall you just have to know that your grades don't mean everything and definitely do not define you nor your self-worth.  

Rom-coms

Right now I am really into early 2000's rom-coms. They are so funny, but also make my heart melt because they are the cutest things ever! Some of my absolute favorites are The Notebook, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, 27 Dresses, He's Just Not That into You, A Cinderella Story, Juno, and Sweet Home Alabama.

Baking

Lately, I have been loving to bake, whether its just for me, my family, or my friends. I like to find new recipes or interpret them and make it into my own thing. My favorite things to backe or super gooey chocolate chip cookies, brown sugar cupcakes with vanilla buttercream, brownies, and chocolate cake. I want to learn how to make even more things in the future when I get more skill. Overall, I love to bake!

Pinterest

More recently for the last few months, I just find myself scrolling on Pinterest. I love all the inspiration it gives me for outfit, room, and all kinds of ideas. It is definitely one of my most used apps on my phone and I tend to use it more than other social media platforms. My Pinterest sessions are one of my favorite times of the day!

R&B Music

One of my favorite genres of music that is found across all the playlists I have is R&B. The lyrics and melodies just make my soul hum. I absolutely love this genre of music and can listen to it no matter the time of day. Some are my favorite artists are Ella Mai, Summer Walker, SZA, H.E.R, and Jhene Aiko.

For most of my years in school, I have been the only black girl my class. Being the only black girl in the room is an isolating and exhausting feeling. You become hyper-aware of what people may think of you just because of your skin color. It also leaves a huge weight on your shoulder of trying to represent the entirety of the culture or show your "blackness" because if you don't, people will call you "whitewashed". The only thing is that this goes both ways. If you are "too black" you are consider "ghetto" and if you aren't black enough, you're "whitewashed". Being the only black girl in the room also can mean facing micro aggressions and people asking you questions based on stereotypes. For example, people asking me, "Is your favorite fruit Watermelon?" or "Do you like fried chicken?". But despite these challenges, these experience made me who I am today. It gave me character and confidence because I realized being black isn't a flaw, it is something that makes me unique. You have to remember that your unique voice brings a perspective to the table that not everyone has. Remember, your presence matters — you belong, and you are changing the space just by being there.

Meredith Grey

I would be friends with Meredith Grey because, even though she makes me mad sometimes, she is smart, relatable, and really loyal to the people she cares about. She has lots of qualities you would look for in a friend.

Lexi Grey

I would be friends with Lexi Grey IRL because she is a great teacher and could help me study for the intern exam and is also so goofy and kind to those around her. For example, when Meredith was trying to ice her out, she kept trying to do right by Meredith when shee didn't have to. She was such a good person.

Addison Montgomery

I personally would be friends with Addison Montgomery because she is a double-board certified surgeon and the ultimate definition of New York chic. Her style is cray cute and her backstory (besides for her cheating on Derek) is what I would want like she grew up in the Hamptons, wealthy, phemononal style, and a big shot surgeon on top of that, like she is super cool!

Brooke Davis

I would be friends with Brooke Davis IRL because she a nice person. She gives so much grace to those who wrong and using her popularity for good. She is loyal (even though her friends do so much wrong by her) and manages to find a way to make everyone smile. She just seems like a ball of joy and a person you want to keep around in your life.

Jess Day

I love Jess and her silly personality! I would become friends with her because, once again, she is a bundle of joy, she is funny and can cheer up anyone when they are down. She loves her friends and is a good person through and through.

Schmidt

Even though he can be a bit of a snob sometimes, I would still be friends with Schmidt because he is funny, neat (like me), and has an impeccable sense of style. 

This is a series of anonymized personal teen stories and experiences. Because these are people's stories, please be respectful and mindful while reading.