Not as bad as you think. :) And I'm mobile! I move. I'm not dying! And my spirit is healthy. 

This has become hard for me to receive as a question. Favor: Do you mind checking the site homepage first before asking? That'll let you know the overall situation. This is because I'm loved and receive that question multiple times a day. I'm assuming it's temporary (when in fact, treatment will last for a year!), but it's a lot for this ambivert to navigate! I like people, but it's a lot of attention. 

What I love: Receiving a heart (♥️) or "Thinking of you!" "You've got this." sentiments with a tone of cheer.  Or a pun. :) Thank you!

Technically I don't have to do anything (and my health care team reminds me of that too!). I'm high-risk. So my treatment plan might be different for other women with the same type of cancer. Everyone's cancer is different. Given breast cancer and cancer is extremely high in my family, I'm willing to poison my body to fight this. 

What I'm so grateful for is that breast cancer treatment is a well-oiled machine. As my friend Beth said with reverence, all those ladies who baked to raise money, or walked miles, made it that way. So much gratitude! I trust my health team!

Totally fair question. I asked myself that every day. I'm super friggin' lucky. I have an amazing short-term disability and long-term disability plan through my employer (Google - who has nothing to do with this site). After 3 months of short-term disability, I begin taking slight paycuts. Because I live within my means and have savings, I'm able to consider 6 months, 9 months, or even a year off. 

And that's if I need it! I plan to exercise every day, go to treatment, rest, keep up with people who give me energy, walk Monty, and finish up things like Songwriting Fundamentals class, which I started right at my diagnosis. I volunteer regularly and can even "up" those hours if I'm feeling like it. 

My managers and upward, my teammates, and Cancer Survivors @ Google, and Googlers Going Through Treatment all endorse taking time to focus on health--in addition to the other external voices in this space (like my doctors). 

And, this makes sense too because "checking out" is really hard for me to do with my work. "Phoning it in" is reserved for very short moments, and even then, I'm still getting shit done. (There's a label for us: "high performer.")  

These past few weeks,  I started to have the same cognitive memory issues I had within a few months of starting the divorce process. It was hard to track and follow conversations, and I always felt on the verge of tears when a teammate would ask how I'm doing. That's not a good place. 

And I have the resources. And savings. 

Time to use them!

Oh, I forgot to mention. I talked to a psychic in February. Long story, but essentially, without saying the cause, she told me I'd have an opportunity to take "6, 9, 12 months," and it would be really good for me -- just amazingly good for me. I only connected this situation last weekend, after repeatedly hearing the same time frames of survivors at work who took that time off.  Not gonna lie, it helped push me in that direction! 

I regularly-ish would do a self-check, checking how my boobs feel frequently enough that I could sense when there was something different. I'm high-risk, so this was something I felt was important to be regular-ish about and try to stay healthy for. And being healthy served me well. (See the other FAQ.) 

Boobs are lumpy. But there was a pattern to their lumpiness and type, I noticed. I waited a full period/menstrual cycle to make sure it was still the same lump, and then got my appointments going. I read in a handout from the hospital that a tumor of my size (1.2-1.4 cm) was likely growing in my body for 10 years.

If I didn't notice it when I did (August), my annual mammogram (my third) in November would have caught it. 

So, everyone, please, please, touch your boobs, and offer to touch your partners' boobs (wait for consent!), and just make this a regular thing. 

I actually don't have the breast cancer gene (BRCA) or other mutations for cancer. But I'm high-risk because so many women in my family have had breast cancer (grandmas both sides, 4 aunties on both sides) or other cancers (grandparents both sides, and my dad had two kinds of cancer and died from bladder cancer). 

As I explained to another breast cancer survivor, I still experienced the shock, but I've had in the back of my head this could be a reality for me at some point. I didn't assume I'd get cancer too, but I knew my chances were higher. So maybe it was easier to process.

I appreciate my doctors and medical systems in Chicago (Illinois Advocate) and the San Francisco Bay Area (Sutter Health), who, because of the list of cancers in my family, have always treated me as a high-priority.  

I think #montylegs (or Q-tip, as he's been called 😂) is made to be a cuddle buddy! Monty came to me with high anxiety. I've been doing great, but I'm so glad he's come so far in his confidence that he can cuddle me now. 

I'm going back to the phrase that I used when we kicked off the divorce process, "divorce homework." I'm referring to all the paperwork, all the steps you have to research and take to move through the process. And it's totally homework--not fun--but you have to do it. And you have to dedicate a lot of time to it. But for cancer, for me, that means: 

• Paperwork related to medical leave, insurance/billing, etc. 

• Going to appointments 

• Doing physical therapy

• Coordinating notetaker friends for appointments

• Researching stuff: 

  • Medical Stuff that happened to me, parts of my treatment plan, things I need to prepare for, etc. Gotta be educated. 

  • Wellness stuff like, how to prepare for a type of appointment, or researching things like a juicer (on order!).  Or exercise oncology. Or other things. 

• My life is now vegetable prep. 😅 Feels like homework sometimes, but it's worth it.

I'm dedicating a lot more time to wellness now too and connecting with friends. But I don't know if that's "cancer homework," more just adjusting making more time within this new lifestyle. 

And while not homework, I get to spend time thanking people and responding to messages  and offers of support! I have so many people, I'm so lucky. I'm going slowly though, so thanks for your patience!