Heroes/Villains

 Ahmad grew up in a particularly rough part of Lebanese History. He grew up in the Lebanese Civil war. The Lebanese Civil War saw multiple different factions and religious groups fighting for control of the country. The war caused neighbors to pick up arms and fight each other. It also led Lebanon to go from being nicknamed “Switzerland of the Middle East” to a barren warzone. Ahmad described Lebanon before the war as a “hub of education”. He mentions: “Lebanon was a hub of education by the way at one time, so we had many western universities setting up shop in Lebanon”. At the time, Lebanon was thriving in comparison to its neighbors. This enticed many universities to open up there in an attempt to attract students from all over the middle east. War kept raging on and off between the years 1975-1990. It claimed the lives of nearly 200,000 people, most of them civilians (Ayesh Perera, WorldHistoryBlog.com). In our interview, Ahmad seemed a little uncomfortable while sharing his experience and the price the war has cost his mental health. He mentioned: “Absolutely, I’m a little bit more anxious than I expect myself to be under normal circumstances. I worry a lot about finances, security, and about supplies at home. I feel like it just increased my overall anxiety level”.  The Civil War had major impacts on Ahmad’s mental health, as it caused him to develop anxiety and issues with food security. It also caused him to appreciate his family more, as he used his family’s support as a sanction from the wrath of the war that tore apart the country. Seeing people around him lose their loved ones caused Ahmad to develop closer ties with his family, to this day he still communicates with them on a weekly basis. Mental health wasn’t the only thing affected by the war, as schools had to come to a complete stop at times when fighting was particularly intense. In his interview Ahmad said: “At times we were at school and fighting would break out, so we worried about getting back home”. When the war got especially heated, schools would be cut off and have to somehow make up what the students missed when the trouble dialed down. In some cases, two school years would be merged into one and a ton of the curriculum would be shaved in order to fit in a single year. Ahmad mentioned this in the interview when he said: “We had one particular academic year that ended in February, and we didn’t go back to school until, I think, April of the following year. So, there were two academic years that were merged into one”. The schools struggled in determining what was the appropriate material to cut out to make room for what they deemed “more important” like sciences and math. In this struggle, they managed to cut out physical education which is considered a very important subject as it helps maintain students’ physical health.

When all hope seemed lost, a treaty was signed which temporarily stopped the fighting. This made it easier for Ahmad to graduate from school and move on to college. The problems the country was facing didn’t end with the civil war. In this quote, Ahmad describes the struggles he faced to be able to attend college. He mentions: “The country was in economic collapse. We couldn’t afford tuition easily”. The economy was in total free fall, and the war caused many of the respectable international universities to completely pull the plug on their Lebanese branches. Many of these universities were either completely destroyed, or had their faculty leave the country. With not many options left, Ahmad applied and got accepted in to the American University of Beirut. It was one of the few decent options that were available at the time. The only problem is that it was one of the more expensive universities around. Ahmad’s career and education path wasn’t clear of obstacles yet. Ahmad said: “I had some difficulty paying tuition I remember, and student debt wasn’t an option. People wouldn’t have any government supported loans. My father had to sell property in order to pay for my tuition”. Due to the war completely tearing apart the country, student loans weren’t an option. Students had to pay for everything out of pocket.  This caused Fouad Chatila, Ahmad’s father, to sell his lifeline business to help pay for his son’s tuition. Even though his father passed a few years ago, to this day Ahmad still feels thankful for his father’s sacrifice. He mentions: “I’m eternally indebted to my father”. 

 Ahmad majored in medicine and got through his 3 years of biology before med school. He was able to complete two years of med school before the situation got dire again. In Ahmad’s third year as a medical student, things started getting nasty. He was in his surgical rotation as a medical student when the hospital he was studying at got hit with an influx of civilian casualties. He explains: “I was a third-year medical student in the emergency room, and we had like mass casualties coming in. Not only attending physicians, residents, and medical students were doing stitches, even the clerk of the emergency room who had no medical experience whatsoever was also helping to clean wounds and stop the bleeding”. Even in the most hopeless of situations, Ahmad was able to look on the bright side. He explained that his round in the emergency room gave him courage and the ability to look at blood without immediately fainting. After finishing med school Ahmad had to specialize in a certain field. The tragic events at the emergency room made Ahmad cross off surgery as his specialization. With not many options left, Ahmad decided to specialize in Pediatrics. Ahmad said: “It’s a social and medical career at the same time, because you have to be a doctor to the child, and a counselor, and maybe an advisor to the parents. I liked that role very much”.

After med school, Ahmad got to know one Dania Eltaki. The two immediately clicked and they were inseparable. A few months went by before they got married. At this point, Ahmad was at cross-roads. He had the option to continue on with his residency in a war-torn country with limited resources or leave his home country to broaden his knowledge of the pediatric sphere. Feeling like it was his only choice, Ahmad made the difficult choice of leaving his family behind to pursue his education and strive for a better life. Together, the couple headed to the United States for Ahmad’s residency. 

In the United States, Ahmad was faced with many culture shocks and difficulties. Ahmad’s English was not the best and he struggled to understand English at a native speaker’s speed. Despite being more open minded than its neighbors, Lebanon was still on the more conservative side compared to the big inner cities of the US. Ahmad was exposed to certain things that he had never heard of before, like teenage pregnancies, and abusive households. He went from one side of the spectrum to the other. Ahmad elaborates on that by mentioning: “I had many teenage mothers, and lots of pregnancies where the father was not around. We also had many babies of mothers who were on drugs. This was a culture shock to me when I came and started my training here”. Ahmad came to the United States around the late 80s, at a time where the world looked completely different than it is nowadays. He commented on the fact that technology made it so much easier for students to research and retrieve information. Ahmad mentions: “We used to go spend hours writing, and then reading and making summaries of medical records which are now done automatically with many medical record programs”. As a person who works with teenagers a lot, Ahmad mentioned the fact that he’s seeing much more mental health issues now that the usage of cellphones has skyrocketed. After he finished his subspecialty in pulmonary pediatrics, and started work at a hospital, a lot of the glamor of the US faded away. Ahmad and his wife were all alone in a foreign country with no family and community. Ahmad’s wife was fed up with the loneliness and decided that she wanted to go back to live with her family.

At the time, the different factions that were at war in Lebanon went to Saudi Arabia to sign a treaty that permanently put an end to the fighting (Ayesh Perera, WorldHistoryBlog.com). A new president was elected, and a new government was put together. The situation in Lebanon seemed hopeful, and the new government in power started tons of projects to help Lebanon back on its feet. The country needed the help and contribution of its diaspora the most. There were tons of job opportunities and Lebanon was solidifying its spot on the world stage. Seeing all the improvements that were underway in their country, and sorely missing their parents, Ahmad and Dania decided to pack up their belongings and go back to their home country to offer their services and give back to their communities. After coming back to his home country with all the experience and knowledge garnered from his time in the United States, Ahmad was ready to contribute to his country’s development. He decided to open a private practice clinic that he managed on his own. A private practice clinic functions similarly to a small business. Ahmad relied on word of mouth to help market himself and serve the people of Beirut. Ahmad found it a lot easier to work with people of similar cultures and values. He explains: “I went back to practice with my mother tongue which was easier. Also, the culture, many of my patients share the same habits and customs so I felt more relaxed in that I could speak without paying any particular attention to everything I said. When working in a country like the US with many people from all kinds of backgrounds you really have to be careful not to offend other people. When practicing in a homogeneous environment, that’s taken care of”. Private practice worked out for Ahmad for a while, he was able to build a brand that was famous around Beirut. He quickly became one of the most recognizable pediatricians in the city.

When I spoke with his wife Dania, she told me that Ahmad really was one of the most considering people she ever met. When a patient wasn’t able to afford to pay the checkup fee, Ahmad would not charge the patient, or he would charge a reduced price. This allowed him to become favored among other pediatricians. Word of mouth quickly spread, and Ahmad became one of the most popular pediatricians in the area. At home, Ahmad is a caring and loving parent. He comes back home exhausted yet he still has the time to care for and hang out with his children. His role as a father also essentially turned him into a counselor for his children. He always has the time and compassion to listen to his children's problems and suggest solutions. 

It was all going well until COVID-19 struck. Lebanon mostly had an import focused economy, so when the world shut down, Lebanese food prices skyrocketed. People were out of jobs and the economy was back in free fall. People lost their jobs and money ran short. When money runs short people begin acting out. People started blaming other ethnic groups for the country’s problems, when it really wasn’t anyone’s fault. I mentioned previously that the warring factions went to Saudi Arabia only for a treaty. When ethnic problems rose again, so did the clashes. Ahmad mentioned in our interview: “It just suddenly flashed back in the minds of my wife and I. Everything we went through when were little children just flashed back in our heads. My wife said no, I’m not going through this again, I’m not letting my children go through this again. We have to leave!”. Ahmad’s children were reaching the age of college, and he didn’t want his children to struggle like he did. Ahmad decided to pack up, leave the life that he painstakingly built behind, take his children and leave Lebanon permanently. Ahmad had made a name for himself in the pediatric world of Lebanon, and he had many loyal patients that struggled to find an equivalent. He answers in our interview: “It made me sad that I have to leave my patients, but in the end, I made my choices, and I don’t regret it”. At the age of 59, Ahmad came back to the US decades later to start a new career. He is now working at a pediatric urgent care to provide for his family and help pay for his children’s college tuition. 

One day, I had to deliver something to him at work, but he was busy in front of a long line of patients. So, I decided to sit around and observe him for a while. I noticed that Ahmad was always calm with his patients, even if the children he was treating were screaming in pain and thrashing about. When he was done treating a child, he explained to their parents what was wrong and what they had to do to continue treatment. He always made sure that the parents understood what they had to do and how they can continue treating and caring for their sick child. Just watching the children scream and cry made me want to leave as soon as possible, but Ahmad on the other hand was unfazed. I honestly commend him for being able to withstand children screaming all day. 

After beating all the odds, and overcoming the hurdles that life threw his way, Ahmad and I talked a little about his achievements, and any regrets that he has. Ahmad said: “My proudest achievement was my ability to raise a wonderful family at the same time that I was really successful in my career so I could balance the two to the best of my ability”. Ahmad had two major regrets that he could think of off the top of his head. He confessed: “I would choose to spend more time with my parents that I really miss very much. I also feel guilty about missing a little bit of my children’s lives. Like dropping them off and picking them up from school. If I had another shot at things, I would spend more time with my parents and my children".

Ahmad was definitely one of the most interesting people that I spoke to in my life, I felt like he didn’t have one major conflict that defined his life, it was more like a handful of medium sized conflicts that he overcame. He began his journey in Lebanon, then came to the US for residency. He then went back to Lebanon to start a family but left when he felt like history started repeating itself. After leaving Lebanon for good and coming to the US nearing retirement, Ahmad is now working in a pediatric urgent care providing for his family. At the doorstep of retirement, Ahmad is relatively happy, with a simple life and a stable job.