Calico Jack and his Pack of Pirates

Captain Calico Jack

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I followed the noise of laughter and gunfire to the starboard deck. Swallowing my nerves, I approached the rowdy mob of pirates that I had been avoiding the past few days.

“Excuse me!” I yelled at the back of the man nearest me. But either he didn’t hear me or just ignored me, “Fine then.”

I elbowed my way through the crowd, stomping on toes when they wouldn’t move. The sour smell of alcohol was so thick I could taste it. I sucked in a deep breath once I broke through to the center of the crowd.

To my right, a man in a bright red coat and yellow pants drank from a bottle of rum at the bar.

I walked up to him. “I heard this was Calico Jack's crew. Do you know where I can find him?"

"Find him?" The man slurred, "You're talking to him!"

I blinked. “You are the fearsome Calico Jack?”

“The one and only!” Calico raised his bottle with a flourish.

He didn’t look fearsome. His dark eyes were bloodshot and a heavy five o’clock shadow covered most of his face. Rope burns circled his throat like a necklace, drawing attention to how it jutted out in an unnatural angle.

“Prove it,” I said, “tell me something you could only know if you were the real Calico Jack.”

“Well…” He swirled the bottle in thought. “When I was quartermaster for Charles Vane, I convinced him not to attack a French ship. I knew it would upset the crew enough that I could convince them to mutiny and make me their new captain.”

He smiled fondly, like betraying his captain was a treasured memory. I took a subtle step away. His story tickled at a memory from history class. Something that cleverly devious sounded like something a pirate would do.

“Well, um, Captain, I heard you are open to letting women join your crew. I wondered-“

“Oh yes! I have women in my crew!” His arm swung to the right. “Look there they are!”

Where he motioned a group of pirates shot empty bottles off the side of the ship. In their midst stood a pretty girl with chestnut hair.

“Ah, my Anne.” Calico sighed. “I saved her from her marriage to that awful Bonney fellow, but she saved my life. I was lost when I met her, had even given up piracy." He shuddered.“She put me back on the sea where I belonged. What a woman.” He shook his head before going on, “Then there’s Mary.”

Female Pirate Anne Bonny Web Link

Female Pirate Mary Read Web Link

I followed his gaze to a woman who stood a little off from the group. Her face was solemn as she stared over the side of the boat into the inky black waters.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

“She lost her brother, her husband, and everyone else she loved. It was pure luck we attacked the Navy ship she served on and forced her into piracy.” Calico frowned at my disapproving look. “Don’t look at me like that. Piracy gave her a new family. She had many chances to leave, but never took them.”

Calico Jack went back to his bottle as the pirates to our left burst out in laughter. He probably wasn’t the most fearsome pirate on this ship, but Calico had a large following. Being part of his crew would provide protection, plus they could party.

“I want to be part of your crew!” I smiled at the Captain, praying that he would say yes.

Calico laughed. “What would I gain by letting you in my crew?”

My mind went blank. “What?”

“What did you do to end up in Davy Jones’s Locker?” Calico took another swig of rum. “Are you good at attacking ships? Have you ever stolen any treasure?”

His eyes were suddenly intense. I gulped. If I told him I wasn’t a pirate he would laugh in my face and send me on my way.

“I’ve stolen little bottles of shampoo and conditioner-“

“A thief!” Calico interrupted, “Shampoo? That must be a very rare treasure, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of it.”

I’m not—“

“I could use a thief.” Calico Jack leaned in close and nodded towards a man in a large hat with a red feather. “See that man over there? That’s Black Bart. He cheated at a game of dice and took my favorite ring. I want you to steal it back.”

I was going to be sick. “Captain Calico, I think you misunderstood me.”

“Nonsense. You want to be in my crew. Here’s the way.” He stood, “Get my ring back, and you’re in.”

He grinned a lopsided grin, grabbed his bottle, and turned to make his way over to Anne. I sank down onto a stool, feeling worse than I had when I first came over here.

How was I going to steal from a pirate?