Transcripts

Values

Welcome to the Taking ACTion podcast, where we explore psychological flexibility through Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. In this episode, we will be talking about one of the six core processes of ACT: Values and living a values based life.

First, let me ask you a question: Have you ever felt like you’re aimlessly drifting through your life with no direction? Like you’re just going through the motions every day, getting by, but not really feeling like any of it has meaning? In this episode, we’ll explore together how identifying your values can ground you and guide you towards a more meaningful life!

Values are one of the six pillars of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). In ACT, values are defined as a consistent way of doing things, a direction to head, actions and qualities of actions. Values are sometimes confused with goals, but these are two very different things. Goals are more like stops or checkpoints that occur in our life, things which can be achieved or completed. Dr. Russ Harris, an ACT, compared values and goals to two children in the back of a car on a long trip to Disneyland. Child one is goals focused and is constantly asking how much longer until they arrived, are we there yet, and just being generally impatient and annoying. The second child is values focused, so he has the same goal of reaching Disneyland, but he is also in touch with his values of curiosity, adventure, having fun, and so his journey is filled with enjoying the things he is noticing on the trip, different animals, vehicles, and other interesting things. Both children will reach Disneyland at the same time, but they have a vastly different experience on their journey. If something were to happen, perhaps the car breaks down on the way, that caused them to be unable to reach Disneyland, child one would be almost inconsolable, while child two, while also being disappointed, would still be able to reflect on the experience and see that there were also good things that they experienced in the journey, all because they made sure they were open to them by focusing on their values.

When we live a values focused life instead of a goals focused life, we have the fulfillment and satisfaction of living our values as we pursue any goals. We can also feel the satisfaction of achieving our goals, but we will also experience the fulfillment that comes from living our values even if those goals aren’t reached.

How do we recognize our values? There are many ways that we can do so, and I would like to walk you through an exercise that you may find helpful.

Take a few deep breaths. You can also close your eyes if you want. Imagine a scenario where you are a silent observer at your own funeral. Friends, family, colleagues, partners, everyone who you were important to in life, have all shown up. They are sharing stories with each other about you, memories of times shared, and discussing the impact you had on each of their lives. The room is full of memories, emotions, and reflections. What stories would you want these people to share? How would you like your life to be recounted?

What sorts of words come to mind with this exercise? If you are having trouble thinking of some values, a few common ones are acceptance, caring, courage, creativity, fairness, fitness, equality, humor, humility, respect, justice, kindness and trust. There are many others as well, take a moment and think about what resonates most with you. Maybe write them down or type them on your computer or phone, somewhere you can easily access them if you need a reminder.

Once you have chosen a few of these values, I challenge you to think of small ways you can live your values every day. For example, if you chose creativity as a value, perhaps you could make time every day to do some creative writing, practice music, paint, draw, or some other activity that is a creative outlet for you, or if you chose kindness, you could make it your goal to say something kind to another person, whether it be a loved one or even a stranger. Just some small things that you can do to live by the values that you have chosen that are most important to you.

ACT teaches us that by identifying and living in a way that is in line with our values we will live a more fulfilling, more meaningful, and more psychologically flexible life. Being values focused allows us to enjoy the journey of life, rather than letting ourselves get bogged down in our day to day lives, focusing on the next goal along our path. 

Thank you for joining me for this episode of Taking ACTion!