How to do a copy cat poem after "A Painter's Thoughts" by John Yau
You start by reading this poem and noticing how it works. Is it a formal form? I don't know. Sort of like a sestina in how some lines repeat.
Its full of blank and bland statements, trying to get a hold of how to make the "I" disappear. "Slowed down, slowly unfolding," this is a deep thought, that goes along with trying to make the "I" disappear into the sky and into the trees. Not until Line 6 do we get some color and imagery. When the pale eggs roll into place, well, that's where this little piece of writing moves in mysterious ways. We get also a "dusky red wall" that symbolizes nothing but itself.
Later you learn that John Yau "wrote this poem in response to the paintings of William Bailey, an artist known for his still lifes and figure paintings." You look up William Bailey and see the pale eggs, the dusky red wall, the white pitcher, and the brown and ochre stoneware bowls.
A Painter’s Thoughts
by John Yau
I want to paint in a way that the “I” disappears into the sky and trees Line 1
The idea of a slowed down, slowly unfolding image held my attention Line 2
Variations on a theme are of no interest. A bowl and cup are not ideas. Line 3
I want my painting to be what it contains: it should speak, not me Line 4
The idea of a slowed down, slowly unfolding image held my attention Line 2
I paint things made of clay, just as the pigments I use come from the earth Line 5
I want my painting to be what it contains: it should speak, not me Line 4
Brown and ochre stoneware bowls beside a white porcelain pitcher Line 6
I paint things made of clay, just as the pigments I use come from the earth Line 5
I place the pale eggs on a dark, unadorned tabletop and let them roll into place Line 7
Brown and ochre stoneware bowls beside a white porcelain pitcher Line 6
The dusky red wall is not meant to symbolize anything but itself Line 8
I place the pale eggs on a dark unadorned tabletop and let them roll into place Line 7
I want to paint in a way that the “I” disappears into the sky and trees Line 1
The dusky red wall is not meant to symbolize anything but itself Line 8
Variations on a theme are of no interest. A bowl and cup are not ideas. Line 3
The Form
16 lines 8 couplets8 different lines
Line 1 appears twiceLine 2 appears twiceLine 3 appears twiceLine 4 appears twiceLine 5 appears twiceLine 6 appears twiceLine 7 appears twiceLine 8 appears twice
The Rhyme Scheme
4 different rhymes?
A - trees, me, me, trees, ideasB - attention, attention, C - ideas, ideasD - earth, place, itself, place, itself (half-rhymes, sort of)E - pitcher
There is no obvious formal rhyme scheme.
My Copycat poem of May 18,2020
Remembering May 18, 1980
What's forty years? Sometimes we never forget. Line 1I want to have pale eggs and brown stoneware bowls. Line 2
All of the birds fell silent that day St. Helens blew
I want to have pale eggs and brown stoneware bowls. Line 2Today colors are grey, white,and dark green. Flowers are usually pink. Line 5
We didn't even hear anything until then we did. We heard. Line 4And the long, dark southern plume lasted so many days. Line 6
Today colors are grey, white, dark green. Flowers are usually pink. Line 5Outside in the yard today I will hear some twittering birds. Line 7
And the long, dark southern plume lasted so many days. Line 6One deep breath wides you open, five will surround. Line 8
Outside in the yard today I will hear some twittering birds. Line 7What's forty years? Sometimes we never forget. Line 1
One deep breath wides you open, five will surround. Line 8 All of the birds fell silent that day St. Helens blew
How it ended up on Syls Website:
As above except I took out the pale eggs and brown bowls and inserted the line:
"But I was as usual safe from the falling ash."
And I deleted the "up" in blew up, for reasons of rhythm in that line.
Then, filling in the blanks, the poem then writes itself, and you can pretend you had nothing to do with it.