Testimonies
We appreciate pregnant students and parenting students and postdocs taking time to share their experiences and suggestions with us. We want to be able to document both the strengths as well as the immense challenges pregnant and parenting student face while training to be scholars and researchers, while managing the diverse phases of parenthood.
We want to use this space to create a platform for individuals across the seven schools at Stanford to share your experiences and develop evidence to the administration of the clear need for more comprehensive supports for pregnant students, and parenting students and postdoc families.
If you would like to share your thoughts and experiences, please e-mail us at SUStudentParent@gmail.com or parentalliance@lists.stanford.edu
Alternatively, we have set up a Qualtrics link for your use:
https://stanforduniversity.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7NSPvOnvhMN0sdv
Testimonies from faculty, staff, postdocs, and alumni are also welcomed since these needs overlap with the larger student body. Each testimony is labeled as follows: S = graduate student parent, SP/P = spouse/partner of graduate student parent; F = faculty, SF = staff, P = postdoc, U = undergrad, AL = Allies, and AM = alumna/us testimony collected by Stanford Student Parent Alliance.
Testimonial 019-S-INSTITUTIONAL SUPPORT
Ongoing testimonial, PhD Momma! "I post about my life as a PhD student and a mom with all its blessings, challenges and lessons along the way "
Testimonial 018-S-INSTITUTIONAL SUPPORT
I am living in EV with my wife and one daughter. My PhD salary covers housing and health insurance in HealthNet, and we need about $1,000-$1,200 more to cover basic needs. With only one child, we are not eligible for the EV Family Fund, or the public health insurance. My wife has the Employment Authorization Document and a master's degree in finance and accounting but the best job she could find was hardly enough to cover childcare expenses so she quit. The only institutional help that we get is some food coupons (~$60) from WIC in Palo Alto (our child is not a US citizen so does not qualify for $300 food stamps). I am able to save some money from my summer internships but in general we can survive only with the help of our parents. But in our country $1 is like $4 here, and they cannot always help. I am generally more stressed about my research than money but my wife is often very anxious and nervous, and the atmosphere at home is harmful for my work at times. Once, I was desperate and went to the Graduate Life Office ( I couldn't pay my bill to enroll in classes at that moment). Everybody was really compassionate but could not offer any help. I felt that Stanford had the attitude that being a parent was my own decision, and that Stanford didn't care if it is hard to reconcile with PhD.
Testimonial 013-S-INSTITUTIONAL SUPPORT
As a single parent, I have had a very challenging and frustrating time at Stanford. Though I have searched everywhere and spent hours trying to figure things out, I have found NO resources available for single parents, nor any indication that the university has put ANY thought whatsoever about the needs of families with a single parent. I find this very telling of what the priorities at Stanford are, and am saddened about this. I would say, in general, that Stanford is definitively NOT family friendly. I have compared resources offered by other universities and Stanford is no where near. There is much to be done. Apparently, Stanford doesn't even have data on how many parents are enrolled (other than knowing who lives in Escondido, which excludes parents living off-campus). I would not recommend Stanford for students who are also single parents.
Testimonial 001-S-FACILITIES: LACTATION SPACE
One of the biggest challenges I faced as a new mom was initially the lack of lactation space in building. With a full academic course load, I had to carry all of my gear to a neighboring school's lactation space three times a day. I gave up and ended up pumping in my advisor's office, in my open cubicle, and in my car to save time (getting to/from the lactation space in the next building). I didn't know who to turn to as I wanted to be known for my research and scholarship, not that "new mom" who needed a clean, private place to pump. I was dismayed by some of the responses I received from one of the departments who told me to "put up paper blocking the wall to ceiling glass of the conference room" and book it with my pumping times on the conference calendar. I didn't want to use a space that was designated for learning for my lactation needs.
Testimonial 014-S-CHILDCARE
Our situation is even more difficult than that faced by others in the graduate student/ parent community as both my husband and I are full-time doctoral students at Stanford Law School. That is, none of us is employed in a full-time position, while supporting a 2-year-old daughter and expecting a second daughter in the summer. In addition to the typical financial hardships of graduate students, the Law School’s doctoral program began to provide support for its students only this last year, and that support only extends until the 4th year of the program. It also provides less funding than other PhD programs at Stanford. This makes our situation more challenging, as we only received support from the program in our 4th year (this year, when funding was first introduced), and will not be receiving any support starting in our 5th year (which we will both be entering next year).
We get by through taking on multiple TA and RA positions, but we’re limited in how many hours per week we can work due to our visa status, and, equally important, the fact that we need to make progress on our respective doctoral projects. Additionally, as law school students we do not receive health care subsidy (apart from a 25% subsidy in quarters in which we serve as teaching assistants), and are ineligible for some of the financial aid packages provided by the University, such as the emergency fund.
To alleviate some of the significant childcare costs we face, we co-op twice a week in our daughter’s daycare. We also regularly apply to any merit-based scholarship which relates to our respective fields of research. These applications impose additional constraints on both of our schedules and are a constant source of stress. Any additional help Stanford University can provide to help us successfully finish our programs would be greatly appreciated.
Testimonial 015-S-HEALTHCARE
This morning, based on a technicality, my University healthcare benefits was denied as an RA/TA. I spoke with my department and they said this has happened in the past and is a gap in the protocol.
In the autumn, I had a fellowship for tuition, so I waived the healthcare fee since I was eligible for Medi-Cal (otherwise I would have been doubled up on insurance with Cardinal Care and Medi-Cal). Then, for winter and spring I have 50% RA/TA appointments that include the healthcare benefit (I am now ineligible for Medi-Cal since I am employed).
Cardinal Care will not provide me with healthcare since I waived it in the autumn and by protocol the waiver is for the entire year. So, now I don't have healthcare unless I quit my RA/TA appointment and revert back to Medi-Cal. I also have not received my full employment package.
In my conversation with a Cardinal Care representative, they were unaware of how this policy impacts me and my family. I was told that because of ACA, Medi-Cal is the default standard. In the past, you had to have private insurance -- Medi-Cal was not as easy an option. The University healthcare protocol is more in line with the old system where you needed to have private insurance coverage.
Testimonial 002-S-HOUSING
I followed a non-traditional pathway to Stanford. I began this path at a community college part-time while working fulltime in the construction workforce. My application to Stanford was for a 9-month Masters, a Masters was more than I could ever have thought possible and I would be the first in my family - no less at Stanford. My first daughter was born my first quarter at Stanford. My son was born the week before I passed my qualification exam. My second daughter was born at the conclusion of my field work. We had always planned to have three children and my wife was in her 30s when our last child was born. It was then my sixth year and I became ineligible for priority housing and was forced to move off campus. We have moved five times since then. As a non-traditional student with minimal family resources I was not only attempting to beat the curve for average time to complete a PhD but also to do this with my background. I am in the School of Engineering. I selected a difficult PhD topic and then selected a methodology known to take longer. Stanford Housing considers me to be a student that is not making good progress and therefore unworthy of accommodating. They told me that. My family has suffered as a result. We live off campus and my wife feels isolated and without peers after being cut from family housing. The average PhD in my department is 7.5 years and that includes singles and PhDs that have the background and resources to move through the program quicker. I feel like housing has not just failed me but has failed my family. They have failed their purpose to support the University. They have failed to support students like myself that bring to the University a perspective forged separate from peers that moved quickly from high school to the University to the graduate school. Is my contribution no less valuable?
Testimonial-003-AL-CHILDCARE
My family has not personally benefited from the services that pepper tree provides, but I have many friends and neighbors that have. I am particularly concerned about the impact that closing Peppertree and Rainbow School will have on students that are mothers. The new structure that is being built in place of these care sites is very expensive and is a child care center that is for preschool age and younger. Since I heard of the demolition, I have wondered, what are these student moms and many international student families supposed to do once these sites are gone? How will Stanford support their needs? These sites are small and conveniently located across from Escondido. It is very sad that students will no longer be able to find affordable child care for their children on campus.
Testimonial-004-S-CHILDCARE
I am a last year PhD student in Education with 2 kids. My older kid attends Pepper Tree and this has been one of my most important support places. Pepper Tree has been key in my life for two reasons. First of all, I care enormously about education and I want to give my son the education I think will be best for his development. In this sense, the education provided by Escondido school is not complete. It is a classic style that doesn't allow students to develop in depth. On the contrary, Pepper Tree was the perfect complement. They taught them there to explore and stick with a question, and develop non academic skills that allow them to become productive citizens. Without Pepper Tree, my son would not receive the education that a Stanford affiliated kid should have. Without Pepper Tree I would have to dedicate my time to complement my child's education and I would have not been able to finish my PhD. The second reason is location and community. Pepper tree allowed me to use up to the last minute in the office for work. I could ride my bike to Pepper Tree in 5 minutes. Also, the teachers were waiting kindly and became a community with other Escondido Village families. My child's best friends are from Pepper Tree rather than his school. As a student mom, my working time stops at 5:40 and restarts at 9 pm after intense work picking up kids, feeding, bathing, telling stories, while my classmates are doing sports, resting or working. The support giving by Pepper Tree was key, essential, both to my kids development and to my work as a PhD student. I'm graduating now, but I can't think how terrible it would have been for me to stay here next year without Pepper Tree. I'm really sad that Stanford decided to take this key support out.
Testimonial-005-INSTITUTIONAL SUPPORT
When I arrived at Stanford, I was thrilled to be in a place where families lived together and benefited from communal spaces and great weather. Coming from Harvard, however, I quickly realized I had made some extremely flawed assumptions regarding stipends and cost of living. As a graduate student at Harvard, housing, childcare, and health insurance all reflected the stipend of a graduate student, and I assumed that my stipend and the costs of living would grow at a comparable rate. Yet with two children, I am constantly struggling to meet the health insurance premium for my family of four--my husband is foreign, and therefore the entire family relies upon me for health insurance. The premium alone is prohibitively expensive, and the coverage + deductible is meager at best, and that--combined with the extremely unaffordable and scarce childcare as well as housing rates--puts my continued stay here in a precarious position. How can such a well-subsizided university with such a large endowment let its graduate students face these costs with so little help? In the end, it will hurt the university in terms of diversity, as only single, young potential graduate students will be able to live here--those with families or thinking about beginning families will not be able to. The university needs to find solutions for these costs.
Testimonial-006-S-CHILDCARE
I came to Stanford to get my PhD, and my husband and 2 elementary school aged kids came with me. We live on campus, and before making the decision to move here, my husband and I visited Peppertree and were really impressed with it and hoped that our kids would be able to go there after school. Unfortunately, that never came to pass because they were full and my kids were never admitted off the wait list. This meant that I spent a lot of time my first year - when I was taking 18 credits of coursework each quarter - finding and hiring students and other mothers on campus to pick up my kids after school at 2:25 (when I was usually in class) and stay with them until I got home. This took a lot of my time and energy. It seems unfortunate that Peppertree is closing since after school care is so much needed and in demand by graduate students. While my understanding is that Peppertree is very high quality, it is not sufficient in terms of size, so it seems surprising that the decision has been made to close it. Finally near the end of the first year, my kids were admitted off the wait list not to Peppertree but to the after care program at their school which has eased the problem of finding childcare. However, the cost is quite high. I pay $1,600 each month for after school care for my 2 kids - about 2/3 of my graduate student stipend. I am grateful for the opportunity to be at Stanford and to get my graduate degree here. The family student housing has been great. If Stanford could figure out a way to help grad students with families with affordable, high-quality childcare, that would go a long way toward making Stanford a more inclusive place. Without it, Stanford is effectively preventing many mothers from earning a graduate degree here.
Testimonial-007-AL-CHILDCARE
Although I am not a graduate student parent, I am a resident of Escondido Village and many of my graduate student friends are parents of children. My closest friends have utilized Pepper Tree's services, and I have seen first hand how it has impacted their ability to provide a safe, nurturing, and educational community for their daughter. They have been extremely grateful for Pepper Tree's friendly staff and hours that are aligned with the lifestyle of those in academia, including offering their summer enrichment programs and hours on government holidays. Having visited Pepper Tree, it is a gem in the community for graduate students who cannot afford child care in the Bay Area. I urge Stanford to not close down Pepper Tree, or to provide a local, affordable child care alternative, preferably financially supported by the University so that the teachers and aides can utilize outreach services to enrich their students' educational experiences.
Testimonial-008-S-CHILDCARE AND HEALTHCARE
I'm a PhD student with a toddler, living in EV. EV has great infrastructure, and the courtyard playground is without a doubt the best aspect of living at Stanford. That said, raising a child here is also difficult, for financial reasons. I was shocked when I was granted admission to find that Stanford would not pay my full health insurance costs and would pay nothing towards my family's costs. That alone means that my offer letter was worth some $4000-$5000 per year LESS than the other offers I got, from relatively poorly-financed public universities. I approached my department to ask for that difference and was given an additional annual stipend to cover costs, but most students don't know that is a possibility. Even so, my entire stipend goes towards EV rent and health insurance; there is literally nothing left over after those two costs are deducted. Our living expenses -- including things like my books and conference fees -- are paid by my spouse's salary. The second financial shocker was the cost of childcare, which is now about $1500 a month after discounts (it was closer to $2000 when my daughter was younger). The reason that most graduate students at Stanford come here from wealthy families and/or are returning to well-paid corporate jobs after their degree is that it is simply not financially possible to raise even one child while being a graduate student at Stanford without outside support.
Testimonial-009-AL-CHILDCARE
As a resident of EV with no children, I find solace knowing that those with children can still have the same benefits and opportunity that I have. After being here for a number of years I have seen the community atmosphere disintegrate into the ether. This feeling is lifted once I return to campus and hear the children the pedal-less bike scream to his little brother "I am faster!!" The parents of Stanford have a connection, they have familiarity, they have a sense of respect from the university and their fellow students and faculty with these accommodations. That is vital to a healthy lifestyle and upbringing of a child. To remove these accommodations is essentially saying that the University has deemed that this small subset of Stanford folks no longer needs additional consideration. Keeping affordable child care in close proximity to campus life is very important to me and the parents that utilize these services.
Testimonial -010-CHILDCARE
I am terribly disappointed with how Stanford treats its graduate students who are also parents and, in this regards, with how it treats families. It is hard to believe that Stanford is so oblivious to the difficulties faced by parents in navigating life as a graduate student at Stanford with practically no support. Unlike what happens in most top Universities, there is absolutely NO aid for childcare at Stanford (Berkeley has an excellent policy on this which includes, among other things, stipend for babysitting needs), though faculty and staff get some financial aid for this topic. On top of this, there are not enough spaces on the on-campus child care facilities, with the wait list period of around 1 year (and no preference awarded for students). Additionally, housing in Escondido is very expensive, and the only possible aid for this is limited to households with multiple children (the Escondido Family Fund), leaving families with 1 child without any aid (we apparently don't qualify as a 'family'). Additionally, there is absolutely no program available to support single parents at Stanford, who of course face even greater difficulties in navigating through all of these challenges.
Testimonial-011-S-CHILDCARE AND HOUSING
Stanford provides very little support to graduate students with children in comparison to other to universities. Stanford does not appear to support the personal development of its students. I was shocked when I found out that Stanford omits Graduate students from its financial assistance program. For example, both Harvard and Princeton provide stipends to new parents for childcare. Harvard is a set amount of $6k and Princeton offers a stipend based on income. Given the cost of chidlcare in Palo Alto, Stanford needs to offer a subsidy. And If you do not get a spot in a day care, which is true for my family, the stress and cost of a nanny share is astronomical. We are having to borrow money to pay for childcare. The average many share in the Palo Alto area is $30/hr plus taxes and fees. In NY. It is $27. Additionally, the Stanford affiliated day cares are not transparent about the wait lists. The schools said we would definitely get a spot (we put our name down as soon as we got pregnant) and we did not. We put down deposits at every school (should be waived for graduate students or at least reduced). Very disheartening and stressful. I know we are not the only ones who faced this situation. If Stanford wants its students to succeed professionally, it needs to support them personally. How can one finish their dissertation in 5-6 years if they are having to provide childcare (partner must keep working to pay the bills, avoid stalling career, etc.)? And for my family personally: For the first year of graduate school we got off campus couples housing and then we got kicked out of the system for the next three years (we reapplied every year). Stanford's housing shortage and lack of financial support put us at a major disadvantage. With Stanford housing for three years, we would have saved more than $20,000. We are now thankful that we have family housing for years five and six, but, again, three years without a housing subsidy really hurt our family.
Testimonial-012-SF-CHILDCARE
We have some serious concerns about the planned 2017 closing of the Pepper Tree After School Care facility, and with special regard to the plan to discontinue its services. In particular, we are disheartened that among the many different reasons for the plan that have been set forth (emerging real-estate and fiscal needs; inexplicably, we were even informed that elimination ofPepper Tree’s services is part of a plan to *augment* family services), none seems to reflect either the pedagogic needs of the children or the ongoing Stanford-family need for outstanding after-school child care. Yet our experience with Stanford as educators, as an alumnus, and now as parents of young children has been experience with an institution that prioritizes pedagogy and values families at all stages. By way of background, I am a full-time Instructor and Department Head at the growing Stanford University Online High School. While also running a design business headquartered in Brooklyn, my husband teaches at the Design School. As we have balanced our professions with commitment to our children’s education and care, we have been fortunate to have choices about where to live and work. Today, my job would permit me to live far from Palo Alto, returning to campus once a month or so; yet, because I am here, I am directly and daily engaged with my colleagues, enabling me, in one example, to develop new curricula. My husband’s business in Brooklyn would benefit were we to relocate there; yet his involvement in the Design School, where he is helping to launch a new program in Visual Design, is an anchor. The reason we remain is the same reason we moved to this area to begin with, three years ago: we looked hard at Stanford’s resources and judged them to be supportive of families like ours. Because we think – and are informed – that we benefit the Stanford community, we are confused by the message that Pepper Tree is merely a benefit offered to us by Stanford. Surely the more complete view – one that considers the pedagogic interests of young children as well as the value of retaining their families in the Stanford community – includes cause to revisit this plan.
Testimonial-016-S-HEALTHCARE
I had written in response to the following, "Recognizing that rising health care costs are always of great concern, Vaden Health Center will continue to solicit feedback and collect general information about health care priorities and coverage needs from students. We will also keep informed about changes in the insurance industry that might serve our population." (https://vaden.stanford.edu/news/cardinal-care-rates-2017-18)
In my recent inquiry regarding the 7.5% increase in dependent health care costs, this was the response:
"Thank you for your inquiry regarding Dependent Health Insurance increase for the 2017-2018 academic years. Unfortunately, there is no additional resources/funds available to students to cover the increase, you will need to seek out additional coverage on your own through any broker or agent; below is a short list of agents or brokers to assist you further."
While I appreciate the University efforts to keep the percent costs for students at 0% increase this upcoming year (2017-2018), this 7.5% increase, (from 6.2% last year), is an inequitable burden for students who are supporting dependents.
Testimonial-017-S-HOUSING
In my conversation with various departments/orgs within Stanford, it's unclear how these offices are working to promote family interests.
A summary of my conversations follows:
Housing were moving pregnant and incoming families off campus because they haven't been able to renovate enough apartment in E.V. south to accommodate the rising demand. I was told that this is because housing's highest priority is to never leave an apartment empty (the financial bottom line matters). So if there is a vacancy and no family to immediately fill it, they will act to fill it with single students (of whom there is an endless wait list). And once single students are in there with contracts, housing can't empty the place out without breaking those contracts (which they don't want to do). Also, when they ask for volunteers to move out, they will often only get three of the four residents to agree, but as long as one tenant refuses to voluntarily move and still has a contract then they can't open it up to families, so they refill those spots again with singles. And so on.
E.V. south units slated for renovation are still full of single students. When their contracts end, they will renovate each one and offer them to families on the wait list. Unlikely to be any new units opening up until summer or later.
The more insightful part of the conversation was understanding the financial obligations of these various auxiliary organizations. Stanford's general fund covers much of Stanford's core University operations paid for by the endowment and other funds. Stanford Housing, Athletics, Real estate, Hospital, insurance, etc., however, each operate as independent auxiliaries that must be self-sufficient (not profitable, but not taking on losses). Stanford University will sometimes give an auxiliary very specific mandates, like that Housing must put all first year students on campus, or that graduate students will get six years of priority and so must receive subsidies even if forced to live off campus, etc., but beyond those specific mandates Housing can make it's own decisions as to how best to achieve their mandates while balancing their financial books. Sometimes an auxiliary can negotiate with Stanford as to whether a mandate is too burdensome for them without additional financial support from the general fund.
In years where one of them happens to be taking a loss they can petition the general fund to subsidize or support their operations until they get to a more sustainable place again. Housing is in the red this year because they've had to move so many students into apartments not owned by Stanford. It gets more complicated when you realize that Stanford's real estate investments are completely separate from housing. Oak Creek, for example, is built on real estate owned by Stanford. The apartments are apparently owned by a private company that leased the property from Stanford's real estate arm and developed the property independently. They then made an agreement to rent some of their units to Stanford at a discount as long as Stanford did all of the maintenance, upkeep, and landlord duties for those units. The houses that rim E.V. are similar, but somewhat more complicated. They were built by private developers on land leased from Stanford, then sold to individual home buyers who were required to have Stanford-affiliation and who pay for them with loans co-signed by Stanford.
The way Stanford has structured all of this makes it difficult for any single organization to really provide the needed accommodations for families even if they genuinely want to. They are de-incentivized from doing so since every accommodation is a financial weight that either must be distributed onto the shoulders of other student populations (which is unfair) or requested yearly from the General Fund (which might look like a failure of their management abilities, a reason for demotion or job loss). Housing gets $2277/mnth when renting an E.V. 2-bdrm low-rise to 3 single students, as opposed to $2077/mnth for a family; $2943/mnth when renting an E.V. 3-bdrm to 4 students, as opposed to $2510/mnth for a family. Some have suggested this price difference was thanks to housing giving a subsidy to families, but I suspect the price difference simply reflects the actuarial assessment of keeping these units full at all times (easier with families than with singles) and so shows no preference or subsidy for families. How the units are prices is unclear.
If Housing were actually to give families a discount on rent, or to extend the 6-year housing priority limit for families, they'd have to charge singles more each month to break even. The General Fund directors are the ones who need to agree (whether for diversity, for academic competitiveness, etc.) to use their money to subsidize the cost of housing for any students with a family. The money needs to be guaranteed externally to Housing. It could be paid directly to the students who need it, or they could provide the subsidy directly to Housing who administers it on their behalf.
Who, then, is the group or organization that can make the most compelling case at the University level for Stanford's need to be leader in supporting student families (e.g. articulating the positive impact such a positions would have on bolstering academics, recruiting, diversity, reputation, productivity, or even avoiding lawsuits and student dissent, etc.)? The general fund needs to realize that supporting family interests (even if costly) is in its own long-term financial self-interest. [The auxiliary organizations themselves just aren't in positions to think so long-term; in fact, they are de-incentivized from doing so.]