Diary from the Hornet: On the 43rd Day, “Land Ho!”

Words by Kim Steutermann Rogers

Art by Kaci Ellison

Most horrible to tell—the ship took fire between decks in some varnish and oil, which soon got such headway that it was impossible to save her and so we had to take to the boats and watch as the great clipper with her yards of sails sank on Friday morning, May 4, and we are now alone on the ocean, the doldrums west of South America, pray God will have mercy on us and grant that we may be saved, two crackers and a pint of water is our allowance, sun is terribly hot and blistering. “Water,” Samuel calls in his sleep, the mind a monster, and I am five again, learning to swim under a summer moon at our cottage at Lake Waramaug in Connecticut, my big brother Samuel saying, “Jump. I’ll catch you.”

There are days when all hope burns off the horizon, with the last gasp of a sun plunging into the beyond, the ocean a listless blanket, a star winks, the mind twitches, and I am dancing with the beautiful Eliza, her petticoats sweeping the floor, snow falling like rose petals on a moonlit night outside the ballroom window.

We’re fourteen men in a lifeboat measuring twenty-one feet long, six wide, and three deep, but God provides a good rain shower and we lift the lid of the water cask and we sing and shout, and I’m back on the ship, February 11, Samuel’s twenty-eighth birthday, in a gigantic tub on deck at midnight, washed by a waning gibbous moon.

Two weeks now, and the night before last there was the finest rainbow and most beautiful sunset I ever saw and today we killed a turtle and ate him, very good it tasted. God has been kind to us preserving us so long, may he continue His Gracious Protection, and I am seventeen, mother’s table set with silver, her crystal sparkling by the light of the oil lamps, a crackling fire, platters of roasted turkey, bowls of steaming potatoes and boiled mutton, trays of cornbread and bread hot out of the oven, and for dessert, pies of every fruit and cakes of every flavor topped with cream whipped into stiff peaks.

Doldrums.

Doldrums.

“Sail ho,” the cry wakes me. We make for the sail as fast we can with three oars we have but as we near, to our most bitter disappointment, find it to be the devil himself, a waterspout whipping in a tornado fury that, Praise God, spends itself before taking us into its unforgiving tentacles. I am eleven, knees wobbling, entering the confessional at Basilica of St. John the Evangelist, its walls depicting Jesus’s journey carrying the very cross on which he would be crucified. “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Doldrums.

Five weeks now, tongue black and stuck to the roof of my mouth, feeling cold under a punishing sun, rations cut to one-fourth biscuit a day, two sips of water. Eyes land on Samuel, the weakest of us. Talk of drawing lots. I dare not sleep.

Forty days. Nothing to eat. Water for one day more. Lovely rainbow in the evening with color most vivid. Hunger does not pain much anymore. Too weak to write. God grant we may see land soon. I look at Samuel, and his face transforms before my eyes, a sumptuous hunk of bone-in ham, sizzling in fat and smelling of salvation.

About the author

Kim Steutermann Rogers spent a month in Alaska as a fellow at Storyknife Writers Retreat in 2016 and, again, in 2021. She was recognized for “Notable Travel Writing 2019” in Best American Travel Writing. Her science journalism has been published in National Geographic, Audubon, and Smithsonian; and her prose in Atticus Review, Bending Genres, CHEAP POP, Hippocampus, and elsewhere. She lives with her husband and 15-year-old poi dog named Lulu in Hawaii. Read more of her work at kimsrogers.com and follow her on social media at @kimsrogers.

About the artist

Kaci Ellison, a mother of two children from rural Western Kentucky, lives in a log home on ten acres of forest. The homestead is also home to bunnies, chickens, a cat, and a dog. An art major from Murray State University, she works as a home designer for Champion Homes. Her hobbies include gardening, illustrating, hunting, fishing, running, and watching her children play sports.

Kaci Ellison is enchanted by nature. She loves bird watching. Sunrises and sunsets remind her everyday is a new beginning. Kaci is passionate believer in God. She believes everyday kindness is the lifeblood of our own happiness.