My Life

Dealing With Anxiety

You may probably be wondering, what is anxiety? Although I'm pretty sure everyone knows what it is and literally nobody would ask that question, Anxiety is the intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. About 40 million people have this disorder, including me. Everyone has different experiences with it, but I’ll be talking about my experiences with it. I’ve had it for quite a long time and it got especially bad during the 6th grade, the year where I had made a fool of myself for the past 10 months.

I tend to get worried and overreact over little things, and that usually doesn't mix well with my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), paranoia, and anger issues. I sort of get intrusive thoughts since I constantly think about “What if?̈” scenarios such as:

  • What if my mom gets in a car crash on her way home?
  • What if someone breaks into my house while everyone is sleeping and hurts my cats?
  • What if I get harassed at school?
  • What if something bad happens to me or my family?

Things like this go through my head on a daily basis.

I do not like being tapped on my shoulder out of nowhere, especially from people I do not like or trust and I hate loud noises such as screaming or something making a loud sound because it fell. I hate it when people walk by my desk/table and brush up against me or brush their hand against/on the table. Even if they happen to do it by accident, I do not like it when people do not care about my personal space. I don’t like it when people say offensive things either. Sure, I sometimes make offensive jokes and I’m not really sensitive to most of those jokes, but I really hate it when people bring up topics that discriminate against certain minority groups (like LGBTQ+) . I don’t like it when sensitive topics are brought up such as abuse or self mutilation, I can deal with it sometimes but I don’t like hearing about it.

I hate school since it is the main reason why I get worked up since there is obnoxious and mean kids or I get stressed out about schoolwork. It's even worse when people decide they want to mess with my siblings and I can't do anything about it because I’m not around them when it happens or I can't process the situation. When I get anxiety, I usually get skittish and on edge. It will get to the point where I get upset and start crying or get angry. I don't like the fact that my emotional issues annoy everyone, which usually causes everyone to be mad at me and start ridiculing me for having mental health issues. It's to the point where I feel unsafe at school and I’m too afraid to come to school.

In public is where I especially spazz out because something triggered my anxiety. If we’re in Walmart and there are only two people in the isle, including me, I would not want to go down that isle. I don't like it when people stare at me for a long time either since one time while I was at Wendy’s back in South Hill, Virginia, this old guy kept staring at me while I was trying to get a drink. It got to the point where I started crying so I ran back to my mom and she comforted me. Usually when I get like that around people, my mom will get mad at me and tell me to stop spazzing out over nothing.

My mom calls those moments “Lynnie Moments” because she referred to it as such while we were at Target since she had encountered a creepy guy. It's probably obvious now that I have social anxiety/social phobia, which is when social interactions cause irrational anxiety. There will be times where I glare at strangers or people at school I do not trust because my paranoia would have probably kicked in. My ADD is mainly the reason why I have my outbursts and may even be the reason why I have anger issues. I'm extremely overprotective of my siblings, even though we may fight a lot, since I do not want anything bad to happen to them, which usually causes them to be annoyed with my constant worrying.

The day before Thanksgiving Break ended, I started getting nervous and hyperventilating because I kept being reminded of all the infuriating and annoying things I had to deal with before the break. My mom has let me have 1 mental health day during my time here in North Carolina, any other day I stay home from school is because my bus didn't arrive or I didn't wait long enough for the bus to get to my stop because it’d be around 7 am and I’d still be at the bus stop. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, so I’d be with a friend ranting about some kid who annoyed me or made me upset.

The worst feeling I’ve had from it was when my stomach was churning and I started getting cold sweats because of some kid in my enrichment class. My heart usually starts racing slightly and it’s usually hard for me to calm down. I don't want this to be too depressing, so I’m going to list coping mechanisms I have or things that make me happy:

  • Furbies/Electronic Pets
  • Stuffed Animals (ex: Care Bears, Beanie Babies, and Build-A-Bears)
  • Having comfort characters (a comfort character is a fictional character you don't identify as, since people on the internet “kin” fictional characters, but you find comfort in)
  • Drawing/Sketching
  • Music (although I do vent to songs I shouldn't be venting to and there are some songs that get me worked up since they're either self deprecating or really edgy and depressing)
  • Kid shows mainly aimed at toddlers (ex: Yo Gabba Gabba, Teletubbies, and Sesame Street)
  • Cartoons (ex: Steven Universe, Invader Zim, Scooby-Doo, and DC Super Hero Girls 2019)
  • Daydreaming/Zoning out (mainly in school)
  • Girly stuff (ex: dolls, dresses, pink)
  • Video Games (that’s where I get most of my comfort characters from)

Article by Lynnette Rayne Martin

WHAT DANCE IS TO ME♡

When I say dance what comes to your mind? These days all everyone thinks of is those Tik Tok dances or dances and challenges made by

artists. Well dance is way more than that, dance is an art, sport, career, but most importantly it's a way of living. Dance comes in various styles and cultures but it's one of the ways it brings all of us together. I’m not experienced in all fields but these are styles I have been trained in ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, contemporary, point, modern, character, musical theater, African, and a little bit of hip hop. I’ve been dancing since I was 3 years old (for ten years) so it's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and will continue to be till my last breath.

I did my first professional play when I was 8 years old for Theater Raleigh, called “The Wolf” where I played a mouse, rabbit, and a school student. The following year I worked with the same company but we added another play that was based on the Shakespeare “A Midsummer Night's Dream” and there I played the role of a fairy named Mustard seed. I’ve done competitions from when i was 4 until i was 8 years old, but nothing matches the feeling when you finally experience performing in front of thousands of people not for a trophy but just to share your gift. From that experience it made me really realize that this is what i really love to do and want to continue to do. I then continued on with different plays such as Aladdin, Moscow Russian nutcracker, A Christmas Carol, and have worked with the Carolina Ballet in the Nutcracker and Sleepy Hollow. Working with the Carolina Ballet is a humongous deal that requires a lot of dedication. People always told me that for my first year I would get a rookie kid role such as a mouse or a soldier….but jokes on them because I was roled as a Party Girl & A Gingerbread.

Working around professionals 24/7 is a little suffocating but it teaches you that one, you never know whose watching and two, that you should always give 110% in anything you do. Another big part of dancing in Theaters, i´ve performed at a lot such as the Carolina Theatre, Magnolia Theater, Kennedy Theatre, Duke energy center Theater,UNC auditorium, and most importantly DPAC!!!! I performed there only three times with Carolina Ballet but I performed there for a whole week during A Christmas Carol. A Christmas Carol was my first professional Musical so it was a totally new experience. I was mainly a dancer because i CAN NOT sing, but i still received amazing roles such as a Chimney Sweep, Marlette, and Vegas Dancer. I was the youngest but that didn’t mean anything since

made wonderful relationships with all of them. Spending hours on hours rehearsing requires a lot of sacrifice, time, hard work, and pushing yourself to the limit, but to me its all worth it when you go up on stage with lights, cameras and props surrounding you and most importantly the PEOPLE!!! Interacting with the crowd and seeing their reactions to the performances are priceless especially when you get to sign autographs and know more about them and their love for the show. All of my performances are ballet based but Aladdin was my first pay where I performed in pointe shoes, pointe shoes are paper mashayed ballets shoes that make up a box for the dancer to stand up on their toes. Pointe shoes require preparation tho, such as toe pads, toe spacers, and if you get blisters or calluses then you’ll need toe tape too.

Pointe Shoes are slippery on stage so i was sooo nervous and scared but it brings a different feeling and emotion out of you, it’s a whole new experience. Dance is always about sharing, receiving, and thriving off of Art. It’s a way of life that’s full of evolution, movement,communication, learning, teaching, and most importantly passion. All of these experiences have brought me to where I am today and prepared for the future, dance is my passion and way of living. It's my past, present, and future...that’s what dance is to me.

Article by Kameron Draper


Point Shoes

Ballet Feet

A Christmas Carol

Royal Legacy Dance Company

My dance team is Royal Legacy Dance Company. My Coach's name is Armani, and she used to dance in college. She always wanted her own dance team. This dance team started in 2014. I started dancing on the team in 2018. When you first start your gonna think it's hard, but you have to stay and try harder and get better. When I first started I didn't know how to dance, or flip, now I'm a beast. First she put me on stand battle, then I was junior drill master, now I’m company captain, which is captain of new girls and minis. Minis consist of girls 8 years old or younger. When you are on Royal Legacy you travel. We have been to Memphis, Augusta, Atlanta, and a lot of other places. I love my dance team and the people on it. We don’t just dance, we have fun as a big happy family.

Article by Sharell Caviness

The Coronavirus

Coronavirus is a pandemic that has affected many people around the world and also has no cure.Corona virus disease (Covid-19) is a respiratory disease that can spread from person to person. The virus was first identified during an outbreak investigation in Wuhan, China.In less than 5 months millions of people are infected and thousands have died,it is a virus that spreads very fast.

Symptoms and how it spreads

Viruses can make people sick, usually with mild to moderate disease of the upper respiratory tract, similar to a common cold. Symptoms of the Coronavirus include a runny nose, cough, sore throat, possibly a headache, and perhaps fever, which can last for a couple of days. When it comes to person-to-person transmission of the virus, it often occurs when someone comes in contact with an infected person's secretions, such as cough drops. Depending on how virulent the virus is, a cough, sneeze, or handshake can cause exposure. The virus can also be spread by touching something an infected person has touched and then touching their mouth, nose, or eyes. Caregivers can sometimes be exposed by handling a patient's waste, according to the CDC.

How to avoid it.

You may be able to reduce your risk of infection by avoiding sick people. Try to avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth. Wash your hands frequently with soap and water and for at least 20 seconds.Cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze, and disinfect objects and surfaces you touch.


The Struggles of being a young black Ballet Dancer

Being a young black dancer is a challenging experience. The challenges vary from School studies to being an outcast. I've been one my whole life so I'm used to it by now, but no matter how long I've been a dancer, there still are unexpected highs and lows. A young black dancer will always have at least one pair of eyes follow them, and is seen as a rock in a field of sand. Ballet has discrimination in its history, so according to some schools that's the way it's supposed to be. No matter how great of an accomplishment or achievement you have made, there's always a back-end to it. Young black females, such as myself, have a different view of things compared to European dancers.

For example, a big issue regarding to African Americans is hair. Our hair is a totally different texture then there's and there's certain hairstyles that our hair won't allow us to do. It does depend on if you have natural or perm hair but some struggles go for both types. The main hair styles in ballet or dance in general is a bun, French twist, or French braids. For natural hair it takes a lot of gel and prayers for it to stay in that one place throughout tough multiple hour long classes. I've seen some contractions and creative ways for natural hair, but there's really no say in how it should be since we were never given a base to begin with. One of my main downfalls as a young African American dancer was attending big competitions or Dance training Intensive programs. I was always offered to go places like the pool or this water venue, but I couldn't get my hair wet like everybody else. Natural hair doesn't dry easily like European hair so I missed out on some fun activities since I could only get my hair wet once all the events were done. Hair is such a stressful thing along with makeup. Makeup wasn't a big difference since everyone had to wear the second thing. The challenge was getting things to show up on my skin so I don't blend in with the stage. I was sometimes embarrassed that everyone was using the same product and I had to but darker shades. Instead of light pink plush I had to use red lipstick. Or instead of using one red lipstick I had to mix three different shades together. Hair and makeup implied a lot of practice but we made it work.

Another difficulty I faced and many others have is CLOTHING. There's selected dance wear for each style and is mandatory to always have. From leotards, tights, to jazz pants it's expensive, so you want to get the best possible and long lasting choice. The issue is what if that choice wasn't common, for example such as nude color or flesh tone clothing. I grew up wearing pink tights since it's the ballet etiquette and what everybody else did but a black girl in pink tights is not the most pleasant sight. Flesh tone was made so that it makes the illusion that it's your body flashing in lights and moving so gracefully and that you're not restricted through clothing. Flesh tone material and clothing wasn't always around and when dance was created it wasn't even thought of. No matter how much time has passed since the making of it you still can't always receive from your local store and it's sometimes not always available in the certain kind that you're looking for. This goes for all dancers of color not just African Americans. Finding a perfect skin tone is like finding a pair of pointe shoes which take FOREVERRR. There so many struggles that come with taking this field of life but here are the main ones I have faced plenty of times. No matter how many obstacles I face they aren't going to stop me achieving my dream.

Article by Kameron Draper

Why I Chose Dance

Ever since I was little I've always been tumbling around and even taught myself how to forward roll. My parents knew I had to get into some kind dance like activity program. Once my mom saw that a new dance studio opened up she was so excited and immediately signed me up for it. There was when it all began.

When I first started taking dance I loved it and was fascinated. My parents both supported it but my dad wanted me to try out sports since I was a competitive and determined soul. I played sports such as soccer, flag football, basketball, and tennis. Soccer and flag football I was pretty serious about and was on a team with both sports. I was great at both of them and me and dad would spend hours practicing. My dad really thought I was going to choose the sports field but nope. All those hours of practicing and games couldn't match the feeling I felt while dancing on stage. After I decided dance is what I want to do in life there's never been any doubt.

Dance is an art that's expressed through movements, emotions, and physical connections. Dance is so easy to fall in love with because it allows whatever your feeling to be told with judgement. Dance is NOT an easy field and will never be but no matter how hard I have to work I know this is what I want to do. There's so many styles, versions, and alternatives In dance that makes it so versatile. There's so many possible outcomes such as company performers, Broadway performers, backup dancers, choreographers, and teachers. Dance brought so many amazing opportunities and I feel as if it was destined to be my way of life.

Article by Kameron Draper

How to Accept Others For Who They Are (Rather Than Who You Want Them To Be)

People have a problem with how they perceive the world and people in it. People have their own thoughts and opinions and try to change other people’s mind to think like them. They have beliefs about what they think people should act like, talk like, and be like. They forget to consider that everyone is not alike and everyone has their own unique personality and identity. Instead of trying to judge others or make people feel a certain way just because they might talk or look different, have different beliefs and religions, and come from different backgrounds, they should learn to accept them and not try to change them or belittle them.

The key to accept others for who they are is to just drop one’s own ego. People are judgmental because it is in their nature. People’s thoughts and emotions help them form opinions which can be harsh to other people if it is a negative opinion. Just because a person has an opinion doesn’t mean that they are stating facts so it’s best to keep opinions to ourselves because we don’t know everything and we definitely don’t know everyone.

The only person you can change is yourself. When a person accepts that fact, then it will be a lot easier for them to accept someone else. No matter what a person does or says, it will not change the other person. A person has to want to change and that’s when change will happen. Some people feel that they don’t need to change or they simply know they need to but just don’t want to. All you can do is stay positive and encourage that person as much as you can and let them choose what they want to do for themselves.

Remind yourself of how it felt when you were judged about who you are. We all have been there a time or two. When someone looked at us funny or had opinions that they wanted to make known to others. It wasn’t a good feeling and the next time we think about mistreating or judging someone else we need to remember how that made us feel. No matter who you are, there was a time when we felt judged and attacked. We don’t want someone else to feel that same way.

So remember, that we must always treat people right because we never know what situation we will face one day. My mother always told me to treat people the way you want to be treated. The next time you are talking to a friend, neighbor, or even complete stranger. Remember that no matter what race, religion, background, hairstyle, or outfit, they are human just like anyone else. They deserve to be respected and accepted for who they are, not who you want them to be.

Article by Quiana Bass

www.consciousrethink.com/7920/accepting-others/

School is failing some kids.

We hear it all the time. If you work hard in school, you will live a successful life. For some kids though, this kind of learning isn't working for them. First of all the “Modern” education system we are currently working in was made 183 years ago in 1837 during the industrial revolution when people transitioned to machines to help make products to mass produce. Leaders in the system admit that at the time this system was made, it was for the sole intent to train people to work in a factory. Also, we are forced to be taught some subjects that don't relate at all to our desired career path in life, or life at all. For example, I myself dream to be a computer software engineer. Now I don't think that I need to learn symbols on Asante culture in order to design and make things like motherboards and Arduinos.

Although SOME teachers don't do this, it's important to note that most of the time all we do is follow instructions. For math the formulas they provide are unnecessary, or inefficient. Also some students are rewarded for doing exactly what they are told to do. These are industrial revolutionary values that are not suited for most jobs today, plus how far can you get in the world by just following instructions? The world right now values creativity, communication, and collaboration with others, but with the system that is present now children won't be able to further strengthen those skills.

There is also lack of control/autonomy because when working no one else is just going to create your schedule regarding what to do and when to do it, plus the dangerous message the system is giving is that they are not in charge of their own lives and that they have to do whatever is laid out for them instead of taking charge and making the most of it, that's the reason children don't like school because they are always told what to do,

Also learning in school is inauthentic because most of the time material is gone the next day and it relies too much on memory. In fact we are only tested on memory, making it an unhealthy way of learning, kids spending hours on tuition classes and studying useless facts that they will forget soon, and there seems to be no indicator which solves the students question on “what am I good at?”, and “what do i want to do?”, and to which people who are very talented, and, or, famous have failed in school, Albert Einstein was expelled for being rebellious, John Lennon was described hopeless, Winston Churchill had a “C” average, and Steven Spielberg failed 6th grade. Overall the system is guaranteed outdated, and ineffective.

Article by Joseph Galdamez-Guerra

Will the world come to an end?

Will the world come to an end ?

I have a theory that one day the world will come to an end. We all know that all these shootings and pollution are damaging our way of life and all these illnesses (flu, coronavirus).

I feel like 2020 is not the best because it brought coronavirus, killed Kobe and Gigi, and now these Murder Hornets/Japanese Hornets. It’s just too much and we might die from quarantine.

So we must do what we can do to survive 2020, don't get stung and don’t get sick.

Article by Aaron Cobb

Dance Journey During Quarantine

By: Kameron Draper

During this quarantine period, our everyday activities have been limited — if not completely shut down. This is a very difficult time for everyone and many have gone through worse than they could have ever imagined.

In addition to the pandemic, people are living in a very toxic and prejudiced environment. With everything that is happening in the world, people have mixed emotions and cope with them in many different ways. While some people are using this time to be productive and to improve, other people have stayed house bored.

This time allows people to think and plan for the future. It can be really productive but it's all on how people use it. Personally, I am using this time to focus on my dance goals. This excess time allowed me to do what I have wanted to do, but could not because of my busy schedule.

Before this lockdown, my busy schedule consisted of seven days with more than 20 hours of dance lessons. Although I was spending time working on my craft consistently, I did not have time to focus on specific things that I needed to work on, so I decided that I would use this time to do that. With the support of my parents and my own dedication, I was able to enhance particular skills using different stretching and dance equipment.

Knowing that honesty and persistence are the key requirements to progression, I did not go easy on myself. My dance studio offered virtual classes through Zoom, so it made the process easier and more convenient. I put 100 percent into all of my classes and pushed my limits. I could not make every class because I had to do my schoolwork, but I made sure that I attended every stretch, strengthening or workout/cardio class. I was taking 19 to 24 classes per week and balanced it with my schoolwork schedule.

Each week, my mother and I would set up a schedule that would list the classes that I signed up for and the schoolwork that I had to complete each day of the week. Starting my day in the morning allowed me to attend early classes and complete the work for the day.

Aside from my continuous classes, there always would be a period of time in my schedule for me to do what I needed to do. I would use this time to do stretches my dance teachers have shown me or look up videos from trusted resources.

It was filled with a lot of pain, sweat and tears, but my outcome was very worth it. Improvement is not easy and I had many moments where.

It was filled with a lot of pain,sweat, and tears but the outcome was very worth it. Improvement is not easy and I definitely had a lot of moments where I second-guessed if dancing was my future occupation. Ultimately, I realized that if I wanted to improve physically, then I would have to improve mentally too.

This lockdown period has been very beneficial to me. My journey through it is something that I am very proud of. So has my journey been slightly similar to yours? If not, do not feel discouraged! We still have the rest of the year and it's better to start later than never!

Competitive Dance VS. Performing Dance

I've done competitive dance for 5 years of my life and it's an experience you can never forget. Everything had a purpose from the makeup, the hair, the costume, to the color and type of shoes. Those are important factors but for a dance piece that only lasts about three minutes. It's a competitive event so making friends with other team members and stuff was a rare sight. You might talk to them during a class and wave to them when they walk by but you wouldn't see them going out to eat with each other or discussing dances. Competitions are known for being a toxic atmosphere and that there's always some drama and water works that's going to go down.

You're going to see a lot of different people while either watching or participating in the competition. If your a watcher/Competition parent you're going to see the parents that act like the teachers assistant, the first time parents that are totally lost and confused, the OG parents who have done this process for all three of their kids, the parents who go overboard and throw about 15 events, then the parents who who lend their kids to other parents and aren't around for three days.

Dance studios have very different approaches towards competitions so some come to win all or or nothing. They’re some that are either always super loud or you never knew were even a part of it. Some dance studios have very impressive backgrounds which makes them automatically superior to the rest and are a group that everyone wants to beat. My studio always had a decent size competition team but some studios competition teams consisted of over 200 participants. Then they always had to be together and transport in such big groups. The competitions I would compete at had Platinum and sometimes diamond as the highest trophy you could receive so everyone would aim to claim that score,Some would never accept less.

There was always drama, either it was between parents, studios, dance coaches, or even hotel situations it was ALWAYS something.to me they were always something that felt like a movie that you never knew you were in, it was always just so much going on that you rarely had time to sit down and rest. You could enjoy competitions but you could also hate them; it all depends on how you deal with the environment.

Performing is also an experience that I never knew I needed so much in my life. It's an indescribable feeling especially when you're bringing joy or happiness to somebody's day. Some people may compete for a role and envy some people part but you majority of the time have wonderful people around you that share a similar if not the same goal as you. You have hour long rehearsals that are tiring and time consuming but it's not just for a one time thing. Plays and performances usually last around 3 performances to months on the road. I personally have had them from 3 performances to 4 weeks long. You may not be in every part of the show but the shows last from about 1 - 3.5 hours long, so you're most likely at least engaged during that whole time because you never know what could happen.

Some people make seeing certain plays as a part of their traditions and have been going for countless years. Then for some it may be their first time and want to experience that feeling people get from it. You never know who you are performing for so you give it your all in hopes of getting that energy back. One of my favorite parts is interacting with the crowd and building communication. Seeing their faces follow along with the story and them being engaged makes you feel complete and that all of your hard work was worth it. It's a lot of drama that goes behind the scenes and can sometimes cause you to feel like you don't want to continue but pushing forward is a part of the process. You’re around other people for much longer than competitions so it's natural to have a disagreement there and there but you can also form unbreakable friendships. It's a part of your life that you look forward to but also can look back at and recall some amazing and not so amazing memories. Both options can take you very far in the dance world and are both beneficial for the outside world too. I'm not picking favorites but I plan on continuing performances and plays more in the future!!

By: Kameron Draper