this site is to organise and format my situation relating to
tumblr users nezemny ( zirka ) and pseudolife ( anarchy. )
by formerly stlkawares.tumblr.com, now stlkawareness.tumblr.com.
i've had to move all posts to this site, due to zirka and anarchy's attempts to silence me yet again. consider this page the pinned post.
this page covers all the original callout post.
some details have since changed.
home.
posted on stlkawares on the 17th of may 2024.
this is addressing stalking, enablement, potential endangerment as well as petty grudges held against me seemingly since i was a child & late teen within the rpc. regarding users @/nezemny ( zirka ) and @/pseudolife ( anarchy. ) both individuals mentioned in this post are older than me and it's extremely important to point out i've never spoken to them ( save for one, recently ), i've never crossed paths with them / interacted with them and didn't know of them until the end of last year. they know of their behaviour, and think they've done nothing wrong / that nothing in this post is problematic and that it's me who has misinterpreted. so i guess we'll see.
due to blocking preventing me from reaching out to zirka, reached out to anarchy in the early hours on the 10th to address this issue privately prior to this. prior to may 2024, i'd never spoken to anarchy. i can't say for sure whether anarchy did tell zirka i had extended a branch to him to communicate this privately, or whether he was just unwilling to. either way, as you will see i explicitly told anarchy i hoped she'd pass the information on to zirka. i'm not about to list all of their blogs, they're all more than accessible / available.
i do not condone harm or hate towards these individuals. i don't tolerate bullying, stalking, or harassment. don't be pathetic. if you do this, you aren't welcome around me. that being said, i fully understand the risks that come with callouts. since these two gladly stood by and said nothing when one or more individuals showed a disturbing interest in me and my friend, i don't have sympathy for them.
what is this post addressing? anarchy / pseudolife personally admitting that i have been stalked by potentially more than one individual for 7 months, if not longer, and that said stalker(s) have been reporting to zirka / nezemny about me numerous times within this frame of time ( specifically re: blog movements. ) anarchy admitting that not only did she know about this, but that she was complicit. i also know this, because she's blocked blogs that were highly private, too. anarchy speaking on zirka's behalf, despite saying she can't, to admit that zirka had been indulging, enabling and encouraging ( by not outright discouraging ) this / these stalker(s).
over a 7 month period, 4 new blogs of mine have been reported to nezemny to be blocked. i have no doubt it'd be 5, had i not used an old blog he already had blocked for a new muse. all 4 of these, at the time of said blocking, were highly private and only locatable through my blogs that nezemny had blocked, friends that nezemny had blocked, or mutuals that weren't mutuals of his. together, they enabled and encouraged a stalker(s) to watch my blogs and the blogs of my friend over a 7 month period, benefitting off of the obsessive and unhealthy behaviour, by not moving on, not telling them to stop, never once approaching or warning me that someone was paying excessive attention to me or said friend, and instead indulged them by actively blocking the urls fed to them.
when did this start? october - november of 2023. why? in oct, i approached a now-former mutual re: a graphic rework that looked like it'd been lifted from or inspired by my own. it was handled, the graphics were taken down, we moved on.
how are zirka and anarchy involved? mutuals / friends of the aforementioned former mutual. they were told about it, with anarchy even admitting to me she was the one to tell this individual to block me - which led to a large portion of the confrontation that took place prior to the resolution. a confrontation she is still holding against me, despite causing it. then, what initially started off with a mix of concerning behaviours became my friend and i noticing a series of blockings that couldn't be explained. at this point, i should specify that anarchy started to seemingly move on. she blocked the majority of my blogs and left me alone, but she will come up again.
blockings? nezemny had gone through my entire blog roll and blocked every single one, even the inactive ones. these were accessible through my rules page, for mutuals. through blocking him on my blogs, i noticed this. shortly after, i went onto an inactive blog - debating to shut it down, and out of curiosity looked to see if nezemny had blocked me. he had, and i thought this was bizarre given i hadn't touched this blog in maybe half a year if not more. i had joked to my friend who he'd blocked for associating with me, not realising the severity at the time, whether their inactive blogs were also blocked - which would've been more difficult to locate. they were. nezemny, who neither of us had ever spoken to nor interacted with, went this far to keep me and my friend 'out of his space.'
a series of odd behaviours followed as previously mentioned. i won't be going into detail about these here to keep it as brief as i can, but have evidence if needed. these behaviours quickly escalated into suspected stalking. note: i use stalking because it was repeated, obsessive ( 7 months ) and unwanted. i believed nezemny was stalking me because, on top of the behaviours ( that implied he'd been viewing my main blog despite having me blocked and vice versa ), any new blog i subtly promoted on my main blog was blocked by him within a matter of days if not hours. this, to my knowledge so far, adds up to four blogs. blogs that should've been largely inaccessible to him.
i couldn't wrap my head around how he'd located my new blog and blocked it, despite the blog being brand new. to the point where even my closest friend hadn't seen it yet. below is a convo with said friend, pointing it out. i am "ninja" in all of these. anything blacked out is to protect identity or because it's unrelated / irrelevant to this.
the second blog, which was really crossing a line, was a non-rp blog related to mental health education and support. was that of any threat? since anarchy herself had stressed this was all because of "safety" precautions. it's a platform i'd been hoping to push off of to pursue a future career, and now i know i'm being watched there / someone who wants to cause me trouble knows of it, i'm having to reconsider. this was promoted to a resource blog i have, which nezemny was blocked on, and by a close friend who was blocked by him and vice versa, and by a mutual who i believe wasn't mutuals with him ( i can't confirm this. ) a handful of others did, however, reblog this - and i'm not able to tell whether nezemny found it through them.
i was in a predicament. i believed he was stalking me, with three ( the third below ) blogs quite difficult to find being blocked, and meaning my main blog would be having to be regularly checked if not watched like a hawk to obtain them, but i couldn't 100% prove it. below is me telling my friend this.
the third blog was a private multimuse i'd made in september 2023. this is when it really started to dawn on me something wasn't right. it survived 4 months without being blocked, largely because it was extremely private, unpromoted and there's a big gap in activity between september and february. conveniently, the moment i post it on my main blog, it gets blocked by nezemny. he'd also made a point of blocking close associates, which only added to my concern they were also being watched. it's since been specified by anarchy that this was done to block anyone who associated with me.
i felt frustrated and unable to do anything, having already moved blogs once, changed urls, completely removed myself from the rpc they both shared with me, removed my blog from being accessible via search until recently, blocking left right and centre in hopes of keeping him away, have had anon turned off on all blogs since the beginning so thankfully no outright harassment, kept my head down and generally did all the things tumblr tells you to do re: "block and ignore." without concrete proof, i decided to give up and try and forget about them. i anticipated being told to just ignore if i went to tumblr about it to any degree. below is proof i was feeling disheartened and stressed and that i was going to focus on ignoring.
i also have an interaction where a mutual inquired about the problem and i can be seen discouraging talking about it further.
since late february, i've kept my head down and tried to ignore them. i discouraged people coming to me with information. i tried to move on. then, in the middle of last month ( april ), my friend messaged me.
my friend had, without any announcement, moved blogs and changed url. no promoting, completely private. only i and a handful of their mutuals knew / found out through them following us. so explain how nezemny, who already had their old blog blocked and vice versa, located their new blog so quickly? in less than a week. i'll tell you. so because my friend had both nezemny and pseudolife blocked on their new blog first, any sifting through notes on the old blog for mutuals, to then sift through their notes for this new url - or sifting through my own notes, would've drawn a blank as they'd have shown as a ghost note. meaning - either they circumvented the block themselves, which would take a lot of effort, or someone else had done it for them and reported it back. which opened up the possibility of someone unknown being involved. still, it wasn't enough. someone had clearly gone to bizarre lengths to locate this private url, and there was nothing i could do. until now.
this month, may 2024, on the 9th in fact so very recent, i set up a new blog for a new muse. this blog was solely promoted initially as me posting on my main blog the word "peep" with a link to it. then, some hours later, a "find my x muse here" with a link. very subtle, very low-key. within 24 hours, nezemny had blocked this new blog. i fully believed i finally had proof. i should add that, because apparently pseudolife finds this confusing, i was checking because i really wanted to catch him out - and i knew that him blocking a new, very private blog meant he or someone connected to him had to be watching my blogs, and regularly. between believing i was being stalked and the initial behaviours ( copying, mimicking, vagueing ), i had been checking on other blogs for the same result. i consider this a valid reason. with this, and my friend's highly private blog being located, i couldn't let it go on.
after seven months of gaslighting myself and doubting, feeling extremely paranoid, struggling with my mental health over this ( i have c-ptsd relating to an incident that involved stalking and obsessive behaviour ), feeling unsafe and uncomfortable, having concerns for my friends, worrying about whether i'd be able to do anything with my non-rp blog now i knew someone with bad intentions was stalking it.... i finally had something to approach about. i reached out to anarchy / pseudolife, nezemny's close friend. i'd initially blocked her on my new blog, but upon noticing she had yet to block me there, i took the opportunity.
i'll include sections of what was said. it's important to notice her wording, the manipulation, the blatant gaslighting or most tremendous case of denial - i can't decide, and the nonchalant attitude she has towards accusations of stalking.
before i do - what did i learn from speaking to anarchy? she told me that nezemny hadn't been stalking me, but rather that he was being approached by some mysterious individual(s) ( as she'd implied there are more than one, with different intentions ) who were reporting my movements back to him. every time i made a new blog, this / these individual(s) saw and reported back. now, anarchy made it clear that at no point, despite them apparently wanting this all to be over, did nezemny outright ask or tell this individual(s) to stop. to stop bringing me to him, to leave well enough alone, to move on.
he did not try to discourage them, and in fact, took the urls given to him and blocked them. i, in turn, feeling paranoid and watched, would react, at one point even pleading to be left alone on my blog hoping they'd see and do exactly that. i support curating your space, and removing yourself from harmful individuals / circles - but save for one blog ( when i didn't realise the severity ), i've always been the one to block him first. this is two lots of proof.
i have never been a risk or threat to him, i have never interacted with him or given him reason to think i'd potentially cross into his space. we don't share mutuals, and i've left my entire rpc behind to create space between us. as aforementioned, i moved blogs, changed urls. and yet, nezemny just can't stop thinking i'm a threat to him.
realistically, had he made a point of avoiding me outside of blocking, and not blocked blogs he had no possible way of knowing about save for by stalking me or my friends, none of this would've happened. instead, for his own "curation of space", he opted to enable, condone, encourage and not actively discourage one or more stalkers - if he and anarchy aren't directly responsible themselves. anarchy admitted to me that she has stood by and watched nezemny enable this / these stalker(s) for seven months. again, she too had some of these blogs blocked despite me having her blocked. and we all should know by now with stalkers, it never stops at something so small. this is a small case, and i don't appear to be in direct danger currently, but i don't think i need to stress that if this did get worse and started to impact me outside of tumblr or online generally, it would one hundred percent be a crime.
now for the conversation. anarchy starts off strong, stating she can't really speak for zirka, or on his behalf. and then proceeds to do exactly that, even going as far as to put all responsibility on him later on. sorry zirka, i have to take her word at face value since you couldn't or wouldn't communicate with me yourself. she also deflects from the get go, asking why my friends and / or mutuals are uncomfortable ( re: him suspected of stalking them also ) instead of addressing why i am, and suggests it's weird these people have come to me to inform me of their concerns... when i was actively building evidence on him at the time. because i believed he was stalking me and rp friends.... i clearly state i don't expect her to speak for him, and that i'm reaching out because i can't connect with nezemny due to the blocks. i had anticipated her to create a group, or pass the message on so we could unblock and communicate. nezemny has remained silent this entire time, i should add; i still have not been able to speak to him myself.
she goes on to refer to me accusing her and her friend of stalking as a "good ol' chat." and if you read the chat below, you will see that she effectively says "my friend hasn't been stalking you, i don't know where you got that from despite him mysteriously gaining access to and blocking four of your private blogs that he only could've located through stalking your blog as well as the same with one of your friend's blogs. but also, you're absolutely right for being concerned because it turns out - there are people who "love a good drama saga" who have been obsessively watching you and your friends for 7 months, reporting your movements back. but also... i don't get why that's a problem for you? so long as nezemny is safe, what's the issue?"
this is literally anarchy admitting to not only knowing about this all along, but that nezemny enabled stalkers to stalk me, by not outright discouraging it or even informing me people were trying to stir shit up and cause trouble for me. maybe i'm wrong and it's just me, but even if i didn't like someone or had issues with them - i'd let them know if someone was paying excessive attention to them. but then again, anarchy and nezemny ( since she's speaking on his behalf as you can see ), don't see this as stalking so they likely wouldn't have even thought about anyone but themselves.
anarchy goes on to express that she's "not entirely too sure how that's problematic," and that she doesn't even know how i came to the conclusion of stalking in the first place. while admitting she's known the whole time of someone or multiple people, who she continues to conceal the identities of, going to nezemny to report on my movements. in fact, as you'll see above, she refers to it as "drama." i believe in blocking who you need to, to create a curated space for yourself. but as aforementioned, i always block nezemny first, save for the first blog as i didn't know he could be an issue at the time, and the mental health blog because... it's a fucking personal / non-rp blog.
but it means there's no chance i would've crossed into his inner circle / space on tumblr anyway. him blocking me is ineffective, when i already have him blocked, which is why in my opinion the "curating his space" is bullshit. he has also never spoken to me, interacted with me or crossed paths with me... or so i thought.
cryptically, anarchy goes on to imply both she and zirka know me from other fandoms - even going as far as to name fandoms i've been in when i couldn't even tell you the muses currently on anarchy's muse list. take note of what she'd said in the chat above, re: people coming to yammer at those who have had an issue with you in the past. suggesting nezemny has, despite me having never spoken to him and never had an issue with him prior to the end of last year. we have no "past."
she's confused why i was checking to see if the person i believed to be stalking me had blocked me on a blog that would've enabled me to show irrefutable proof that, at the very least, someone was watching me. alludes to some sort of former beef between us, or with someone i used to associate with, back when i was between 14-16 years old and late teens, and that regardless of what'd happened with their friend from the beginning ( style-lifting ), they would've blocked me anyway regarding some really ancient, 6-10 year old beef i never knew of, because i have literally no clue who these people are.
this tells me nothing other than they are clearly petty enough to be doing the stalking themselves, if it isn't someone unknown. i can't fathom how this helps their case against me accusing them of stalking, by confessing to having a long-winded beef against me, who has no clue who they are save for the issues they've caused me in the last 7 months.
i've been stalked before, more than once, and suffered the consequences of obsessional behaviour. i know the signs. i know it can go from 0 to 100, and i know people tend to keep their heads down / ignore it or remain in denial until something genuinely life-altering happens. if you're reading this like 'what's the big deal? they're not doing any harm / are only giving your urls to someone who doesn't want to see you around?' remember that whoever has been watching me has been doing it for seven months now, after the initial problem was solved within a week, two at most.
how much longer am i expected to deal with being stalked? am i supposed to just hope it won't become a bigger problem for me? how much longer do nezemny and pseudolife intend to enable and encourage this behaviour?
this next part is integral to this post. anarchy has stated that she'd "love for this to be over." another confession that there was something to begin with. she has "so many other things on her plate." which is wild, given this has taken no time from her until just the other day when i reached out. i've never been a problem for either of them, never caused them any grief. at the most, i've requested mutuals not to follow me whilst following them. anarchy is acting like she's been troubled by any of this, which is ironic, given she'd initially referred to this heated conversation and accusations as "a good ol' chat." not to mention her saying the situation has gotten "a little crazy." understatement of the bloody century.
read this below and tell me the bottom section doesn't essentially read like a cease and desist.
it might as well say: remove all signs of us from your blog, don't ever talk about it again, you did this to yourself because you dared to call someone out for lifting from your graphic style and it made you look bad, other people have suffered from all of this too not just you, oh and also, don't listen to any of your friends or mutuals anymore - keep them out of the loop and isolate yourself.
briefly re: the blocking part. brief, as i don't have proof, save for a portion of the rpc i was in blocking me out of the blue, all of which are good mutuals with them both. i had concerns they'd spread negativity about me. anarchy herself had vagued me previously saying she'd like to "murder someone's entire career." aka me: i know because this was in the tags of her reblog of the re-designed promo of the one who'd lifted my style. other friends of theirs had commented similar things, implying that individual had gone to them about it - which anarchy confirms by saying she told them to block me herself. again, i have no proof, i'm just covering what it says in her message. the most recent case of this was no more than 2 weeks ago when the confrontation she refers to happened at the end of last year, and most of these individuals have no connection to the former mutual i'd had an issue with.
how have i had to explain to someone why enabling and encouraging someone ( if it wasn't one or both of them in the first place ) to obsessively watch my movements and report on them over a 7 month period is a problem. anarchy's own response to this was "i see you, i feel you, no one likes to get stalked." so she's gone from not understanding how i arrived at stalking to agreeing it's stalking? not to mention it being nonchalant and insensitive given she stood and watched it all happen. they've both had every chance to reach out to me, to friends of mine. to outright tell this / these individual(s) to stop, move on, leave well enough alone. they never had to vague me, draw attention to themselves or make me suspicious of them. they've had every chance to not indulge this / these stalker(s).
the ball has been in their court since the fucking start. they want it over? they had every opportunity. now anarchy isn't responding to me, because i caught her in their web of lies. we're not going to talk about how "truce" means 'an agreement between enemies or opponents to stop fighting or arguing for a certain time.' suggesting either one or both view me as an enemy or opponent when i don't know them.
i might not be able to undo what happened, and what i've dealt with for the past 7 months of being here - thinking i and my friends are being stalked, which has been immensely triggering for me. but i can certainly inform people that nezemny ( zirka ) and pseudolife ( anarchy ) have been indulging, enabling and encouraging one or more individuals to stalk me and my friends for 7 months as of may 2024. be careful of them, because it appears they surround themselves with those who "love drama" and enjoy "shit stirring" and indulge them. rp is my safe space, or at least it used to be. but that's okay, as long as nezemny is safe and happy.
i have no way of knowing how much this could've / still could escalate from passing my url around. i don't know if it's solely my url that's being passed around. i know that they are both in the possession of my friend's ip address through the use of hidden statcounters, who solely was looking out for me during periods of vagueing and copying, and i know it's made said friend cautious about speaking up because they believe these two to be capable of doxxing - given they're seemingly capable of holding a grudge for approx. a bloody decade.
i am fucking sick to death of having both my rp and now non-rp experience tampered with by people who have full control of stopping this shit in its tracks or at the very least, warning me about it. to the point where i've had to consider leaving tumblr altogether, which is unfair given writing is all i currently have to distract myself from my private life's challenges. this crossed a line when it involved my personal / non-rp blog and i wasn't warned someone was paying excessive attention to me, or was trying to cause a problem - that is if these two weren't responsible for it the entire time. given anarchy has failed to give me the urls of said stalkers, it only makes them look more suspicious.
to zirka and anarchy if you made it this far. the only way you can improve this situation is by giving me the urls of the stalkers. and if they were anonymous, that's your own fault for continuing to indulge them. especially considering you can block an ip. in anarchy's own words, if anyone comes to you with weird shit, tell them off or ignore it! including my url.
zirka, i have never been a threat to you and since day one have wanted fucking nothing to do with you. i've never been at risk of crossing into your space, and if anything you've continuously found a way to invade mine for over half a year now. what threat was my personal blog to you? or my private multimuse i only write with close partners on, associates you insisted on blocking and thus would never cross paths with? was leaving my rpc behind not enough? i don't know you, i don't know what petty grudge you have against me nor do i care. if you want to fix this, stop blocking blogs of mine that you have no way of knowing exist save for through stalking or it being reported to you.
stop indulging shit stirrers. you'll stop looking like a stalker, and in turn, the stalker(s) won't get what they want. it's a shame, because this could've been resolved privately. i don't know whether anarchy even told you we were talking, but your friend has well and truly thrown you under the bus, here. not that she needed to, you already looked suspicious as fuck. if you did know, then you've been speaking through her as a proxy which says a lot. either way, maybe this will get you to leave me, my friends and our blogs that have nothing to do with you nor will ever cross your path alone. how ironic that you went to all this effort for seven months for safety, only to make your own space unsafe. consider this me curating my space.