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What happens when you choke a smurf? 


It dies.

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void among shards of his broken reality.

A quantum physicist walks into a bar... ...maybe

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

 A: It doesn't matter.... he's not going to come anyway. 

What do you call a black pilot flying a plane? 

A pilot, you racist.

A quantum physicist walks into a bar... ...maybe.

What's the difference between a quantum mechanic and an auto mechanic? The quantum mechanic can get inside without opening the door.

There was an old lady called Whyte

who could travel much faster than light.

She departed one day

in a relative way

and returned on the previous night.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. 

Cats have never forgotten this.