Completing Your Shrine
Your Spirit Shrine is never truly complete. You can always continue to gather items based on new responses to past prompts, or, really, anything that connects you to the spirit of your beloved. This altar is not static- it is dynamic. It can change and grow- items being added, some taken away, the arrangement of items shifting.
I will ammend what I've just said. Everyone's version of grief looks different, and no one's can be judged. That said, the shrine you have made is a representation of your process of grieving. You may have much activity at the start, and then over time that intensity may diminish. It may come back in at times here and there. Or it may sit unchanged for periods. This is all good and normal and fine. If it takes longer time between your visits to the shrine, or you find yourself thinking less about it, please do not take that as a sign that you are forgetting your beloved. That would be impossible. Your beloved has an eternal place within your heart which is independent of the shrine.
Energy may wane with the shrine and that can signify a change in your grieving process. It can mean that the emotion is less intense, giving you space to focus on your own life, living it to its fullest. This memorial is ultimately for you, to help you with the awful period of integrating your loss. There will come a time when the integration has happened, however that may look for you, and the need for the interface to your beloved feels less necessary.
If the time comes that you become aware that you are paying less attention to the shrine, please do not despair. Your beloved is always with you, as an aspect of your own spirit. Come back to the shrine at times that are special for your beloved and you- birthdays, anniversaries and so forth. Or perhaps you say a quick 'goodbye' and 'hello' when you leave and come home for the day.
My ultimate point is this: you are doing this program because you are in pain. This pain is a reflection of the love you felt. That love is not affected by the shrine and what may happen to it. The love is not affected by how much you think about your lost one as you continue with your life.
The purpose of this program is to help you get back into your own life, to live it fully with heart open. As that happens the need for the altar may wane. Again, this is not a reflection of your love. Your love is not diminishing. It is that you have integrated your loss and are ready to be more within your own life, which your beloved would want for you.
And, for when the need arises, your shrine will be there assisting you to tap back into the spirit of your beloved.
"Retiring" the Shrine- the Legacy Box
It may be that you feel ready to "retire" the shrine. This could be for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the shrine was set up at a hospice location and must be moved away. Perhaps you feel complete with your griving journey and are ready to make the loss less of a focus. Perhaps you are moving into a smaller space or need to clear the space the shrine is occupying. Whatever the reason, there may come a time that you wish to put the shrine away. This is what I recommend:
Find a container such as a shoe box, file box, tote bin or something suitably sized.
Consider decorating it in some way- at the very least taping a sign to the lid that indicates its contents.
In a ceremonial way "closing" the shrine.
Ringing a bell, lighting a candle, taking a few breaths- whatever you have been doing to bring a sense of reverence and sacredness to engaging the shrine.
Saying a final goodbye to the visible aspect of the connection (the shrine) and thanking it for what it has offered you.
Dismantling each part of the shrine while bringing to mind and heart what each part represented.
Placing each part, as appropriate, into the box.
Closing the box
Closing your ritual with a bell ringing, blowing out the candle, or however else you have engaged the shrine.
Place this container reverently wherever it is it may now rest. Possibly you will bring it out to look though and share- maybe on birthdays or anniversaries. Possibly it will remain stored permanently. What is important to keep in mind is that the shrine is not the person, the shrine is not the interface. The entire objective of this Spirit Shrines process has been to help you with integrating your loss. By having an external representation of your loved one we have created a direction to send energy. The goal, ultimately, is to be able to connect to your loved one internally, without the aid of external objects. Through the process of creating your shrine you have helped to expand their spirit's presence within you. You can always access this presence. Quite likely it is operating in the background, subconsciously, available to be connected to. Even when the shrine is retired, your loved one is still within you, a part of you forever. Their spirit lives within you and all they touched. If you look for it, you will find it.
Okay, one last step before beginning the journey...