Romance

Nervous hands shook as he looked in the mirror. One-thousand nine-hundred fifty one days sat between now and the last time he had seen her; his last day before the move. He had been thirteen then, all knobby knees and messy hair, but staring back at him in the mirror now, just shy of six years later, he was hardly any different. 5’ 10” on a good day and 130 pounds soaking wet, he had grown a lot from the kid he had been.

A week earlier, it had been a complete miracle that he had spotted Arabella in the first place, running an hour late for lunch, hastily pushing his way across campus. Facebook had confirmed it was her and after days of what ifs, he had worked up the courage to ask her for lunch. Waiting with baited breath, her reply had come a few hours later.

Now, running his fingers through his hair one last time, he hitched his book bag over his shoulder and started out the door. He took the stairs two at a time, his mind racing with each flight, each step bringing him closer to the only second first impression he would ever get. A part of him could remember every conversation the two of them had ever had. There hadn’t been many, even when they were in the same class. Back then, she had been cute and sweet and majorly out of his league, but he was living proof that a lot could change in a few years time.

When he had first seen her from across the quad, she had looked the same. So familiar that he had recognized her on the spot, glancing away for a mere second, before snapping his gaze back with recognition. For the first few years after the move, he had looked for her everywhere they went. Every band competition, every travel ball tournament; anywhere that she might be. Time had passed slowly though, and eventually he had stopped looking for her in every face. Half a decade later, the last place he had expected to find her again was college, though he no longer knew why.

His eyes wandered as he grew closer to Central, the main dining hall in the middle of campus, searching for her in the crowd of students in the midst of a class change. No one stood out to him as he reached the entrance. Glancing at his watch he realized he was ten minutes early. Coming from an eleven ‘o’ clock class, she wouldn’t be there for at least a few more minutes.

Breathing a little easier, he perched at one of the tall tables in the main entrance, pulling out his phone to check her messages. No word, a good sign. Glancing up every now and then, he struggled to keep his nervousness and excitement at bay. Again, his mind skipped to what he would say, how he would act. He had no idea who she would even be.

He remembered how kind she had been, always treating him differently than everyone else. They had done homework together countless times in the cafeteria after school. Smiling, she had talked to him, her eyes meeting his as she looked up every few pages. If she ever found him weird, she never said it out loud.

Seven minutes later, just before noon, he looked up for the dozenth time, and caught her walking through the front doors. For a moment, everything around him slowed, the noise of the dining hall falling away. Curiously, his eyes took her in. She had grown into her hair; the strands a little straighter, the blonde a little darker. Her headphones hung from her ears, her phone on pause in her hand. One thumb hooked in the loop on her book bag strap.

Her eyes darted around the giant hallway, anxiously searching for him. Somehow, it relaxed him to know that she was nervous too. He smiled as she got closer, raising his hand with an awkward wave. Sliding from the tall chair, he landed a few feet in front of her, his vision clear over her head. She was a lot smaller than he remembered, maybe 5’ 3” if he was generous. But what struck him the hardest, was her smile and her eyes. Half closed lids, opened to reveal honey colored brown with flecks of green, and her lips pulled into a warm curve, revealing straight white teeth.

For a moment, he no longer saw the nineteen-year-old college student, but instead saw the third grader with missing front teeth that had run up to him his first day of elementary school. That same curve had lit up her face then, beaming as she spoke the same first word.

“Hi!”

North Carolina - 2004

Sebastian laid at the top of the stairs, his head of dark curls hanging just over the last step. His parents, who had been talking in the dinning room for an hour now, had just made the largest decision of his life. His father, a tech tycoon in a small town in Southern North Carolina, had somehow gained the attention of a larger company in the quaint beach town of Clearwater, Florida. Five hundred ninety-two and seven tenths of a mile away. If he looked it up on the downstairs computer, Google Maps would tell him that it was almost nine hours by car. And that was probably on a good day.

His brother, oblivious to the conversation and change in plans, bounded in through the front door and up the stairs, nearly kicking Sebastian in the head. Their mother, having heard the door slam open, called out behind him to wipe his feet and take off his shoes. The five year old did neither.

Down the hall to his left, his baby sister became fussy, and the sound of his mother’s bare feet could be heard crossing the dining room and turning the corner to ascend the stairs. Sebastian righted himself, allowing his feet to hang over the first few stairs as opposed to his head and stared her down.

Taking the stairs two at a time, his mother cocked her head at him with a small smile. “Why are you sitting up here all by yourself, Sea Bass?” his mother cooed, forgetting the baby for just a second to crouch down in front of him. “I thought you and your brother were playing outside together.”

“Are we really moving?” The small question felt big to him, but it came out without a single lisp. That was new for a kid with no front teeth. They were just starting to grow back in, the right one a little faster than the left, since they had fallen out at different times no thanks to his brother.

The smile faded from his mother’s face. “You heard all of that didn’t you?”

She patted his head and lifted him to his feet, taking the last few stairs with him.

“Your father has been given an excellent opportunity, and while it may feel like a big deal now, one day you’ll understand that it’s the big risks we have to take, even if it messes a few things up along the way.”

Sebastian nodded, he was far too young to understand something so big. All he knew was how much he would miss his friends, how much he would miss his room. He had no idea, standing there in the middle of the hallway, staring at the giant New York Yankees emblem on his wall, that so many other future moments were changing like magical stairs in Harry Potter to make sure that he met some of the same people along the way.

Clearwater, Florida - 2014

Sebastian was tired of the heat. It had been ten years since they had moved to Florida. Ten years of unbearable summers, little to no Winter, and Hurricane seasons that made him question everyone’s sanity south of the Georgia state line. He was about to be a senior in high school, counting the days until graduation and his freshman year of college anywhere that promised snow.

In the last two years, he had started looking at universities with good football programs. Not that he had any intention of playing in college, he was barely big enough to handle the crazy linebackers in the worst conference of a high school sport EVER, he just really wanted a school that would give him something worthwhile to get up for on Saturdays. This had put a few colleges on his radar - Duke (not great at football, but academically superior), Oregon (the farthest possible school he could go too), Georgia (not too far removed from the heat), and Appalachian (the up and coming underdog that took Michigan for a ride just a few years prior).

The only good thing about Florida was working in a surf shop, and even that was debatable most days. Nonetheless, it gave him an escape from home and enough money to do as he pleased. Opening the shop that morning, his phone had alerted him that there were three hundred seventy-five days until Freshman move in. Even fewer days until graduation. And even fewer days before college acceptance letters would be mailed.

The AC was broken, no cool air coming out for over a week now, and the front doors were open wide in hopes of drawing in what little fresh air and breeze he could. Her father, a typical tourist complete with Jimmy Buffet button down and Reef flip flops, walked in first. Without the bell on the door to warn him, the man took him completely by surprise. He was already in the men’s swimsuit section when he caught Sebastian's eye.

“Welcome to Maui Nix surf shop!” he called over the wooden counter and racks of clothes. The man looked up from the rack of T-shirts he was browsing through and nodded his head, turning to say something to someone behind him. That’s when she appeared.

Her curls were tousled, wind blown across her face. Bare shoulders revealed a smattering of freckles across her tanned skin, their brown matching the deep color of her eyes mixed with a dash of green as they smiled at him from across the store. Her mother appeared behind her, making her laugh. That sound, her laugh, he wanted to hear it all day, every day for the rest of his life. It made him feel things he’d never felt for another human before.

“Autumn,” her father called, beckoning her towards the back of the store, past the counter, and past Sebastian.

Another customer appeared through the door as she disappeared into the second room. He wanted to follow, to ask her if she needed anything - a bikini in a different size, a rash guard in a different color, a magnet she kept staring at on the rotating stand, his name and number to place hearts next to in her contacts - to ask if she wanted his number. But sadly he remained by the counter, restocking shirts he never cared for, and greeting new customers as they filed in from the heat hoping for a little bit of solace and reprieve only to get none and move on to the next store.

Her father approached the cash register with a long sleeve rash guard in hand. Gingerly, he placed it on the counter and pulled out his wallet, waiting with card in hand as the boy finished ringing up his purchase. Sebastian read him his total, and the man handed over his Visa card, plastered to look like the American flag, and containing the one item more important to Sebastian than anything in the world right now: her last name.

Self serving, and in the owner’s best interest, Sebastian asked to see ID. Her father looked impressed as he pulled it out and handed it over, watching intently as he held the two cards side by side comparing information and picture to real life while simultaneously noting the hometown and state - North Carolina and a town he’d never heard of, awesome.

As the machine printed his receipt, the boy returned the card and wrapped the purchase into a small blue bag that read “Maui’s” on the side in huge script letters. With one last nod, the father took the bag and led his family out the door. Sebastian walked to the window and watched them take a right onto the sidewalk and a right onto Baymont Street.

Autumn, he thought, like fall. How appropriate.

He pulled out his phone and walked back to the counter, leaning against the pile of unhung shorts and tees, he would get back to those later, right now he wanted nothing more than to find Autumn Mitchell anywhere - Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. It took him the rest of his shift, after helping two dozen customers and hanging three times as many shirts, to find her Facebook. Listed at the top, completely alone, was her first name, and very few pictures followed. Scanning the page and her group of friends, he learned a few things: she went to a small high school in the middle of nowhere, played softball and volleyball as well as trumpet in the marching band. Her best friend in the entire world was her Australian Shepard, name to come, and two girls, Emiline and Kate. She had been in one relationship which hadn't ended well, especially for a high school couple, and she was currently single and on the hunt for the best college to attend the following year.

Appalachian State University, Boone, NC - 2016

Sebastian cursed silently under his breath as he dashed up the stairs. Two alarms, one lousy roommate, and thirty extra minutes of sleep later, and he was monumentally late for class. He took the stairs two at a time, throwing apologies over his shoulder like salt, begrudgingly listening as the seconds ticked by in his head. There was no music to stifle the noise when running this late.

Reaching the nearest door of the English building, Sebastian threw open the door and catapulted inside, taking down some poor girl with an arm full of books in the process.

“I am so sorry,” he stuttered, breathlessly, quickly trying to shove the dropped clutter back into the girl's arms and dash down the hall to the first door on the right.

One last book, pages fluttering in the gust coming from the ever revolving door, remained on the floor. Gently, she knelt to pick the book up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her curls were tousled, wind blown across her face. One bare shoulder revealed a smattering of freckles across her lightly tanned skin, their brown matching the deep color of her eyes mixed with a dash of green as they smiled up at him.

For a moment, the world around him stopped. There was no more rushing clock ticking monotonously in the back of his mind. There were no books scattered across the floor or stuttered apologies to be made. For a moment, there was only her.

It had been six-hundred nineteen days - one year, eight months, and ten days - since her family had walked into the blazing hot surf shop where he sat hanging shirts for a living. Even though he had stalked her for days, even weeks, after that first meeting, never seeing her again on that particular vacation, he had eventually forgotten all about her. That small crush had been lost to time and tests and college applications. She had merely become just another figment of his imagination, too beautiful to have existed outside of his dreams. And yet, here she was.

His mouth hung agape, his face registered in surprise or shock, but the girl just smiled.

“Thank you.” She took the last book from his hand and turned to walk away, looking back only once. Sebastian shook his head, remembering himself - thirty minutes late, last five steps, boring class on some form of literature. His feet moved, and he found the classroom on autopilot, slipping in quietly with a single apology and nod of his head.

Once seated, he pulled out his laptop and anthology book, opening the new tab to Facebook. One search, easily remembered over the spanse of time, brought up a fresh page. The same girl smiled from the picture in the small box, but this time she was standing next to Yosef, App State’s mountaineer mascot, and more than just a few pictures followed. It was amazing what just a few years could change.

Without hearing a word from the professor, he contemplated his next move, his fingers pausing hesitantly over the send button before fully clicking. A small blue box appeared in the corner of the screen, “Sorry for nearly running you over today. I hope all of your books are safe.” Sebastian nearly had a heart attack over the immediate regret, the heart palpitations only ceasing when three little dots appeared dancing just below his message.

“They’re all good. Interested in bumping into each other again?”

The temperature gauge said ten degrees as Aubree read it over Charlie’s shoulder. Snow was falling delicately around them, packing the earth in feet of white. It had been snowing for a couple of hours, and Charlie hadn’t decided if he was going to go back to his apartment or stay, but they stood in the parking lot freezing to avoid Aubree’s roommate.

“It doesn’t bother me that she still loves you,” Aubree said quietly. “Heaven knows I would too. What bothers me is that you’ve blindly given her enough space that she thinks she belongs there.”

Her words hung heavy in the cold night air, achingly familiar. Not even a year before she had been privy to a similar conversation, but she hadn’t been the victim. Back then Aubree had been seen as the enemy. Back then Charlie had been just her best friend, and someone else had stood where she stood now. Knowing this made her next question that much harder to ask. “Does she?”

The room was pitch black, the only light in the room coming from the nightstand where Charlie’s phone kept lighting up. Aubree sat up and checked the time, the text just below the 1:58 catching her attention.

Claire now

I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore.

Please text me back! Are you okay?

She rolled her eyes and held the message down until the keyboard popped up. He’s with me, Claire, she replied. Don’t worry. He’s fine. The phone felt heavy in her hands as she set it back down on the table, the lock screen photo making her stomach clench. She had taken the picture when the three of them had gone snowboarding. At the last second Charlie had leaned down and kissed Claire, catching both girls by total surprise. Even though it had been the most awkward thing Aubree had done, it was by far the cutest thing she had ever captured on camera.

She looked at her best friend half asleep on her bed, his shoes haphazardly kicked off on the floor. It had been years since she had seen him this way. She laid back down and closed her eyes, searching for the right thing to say, but she thought of nothing. When everyone knew you’d make it as a couple, when everyone was sure you were meant to be, what was there to say when it didn’t work out in the end?

Aubree’s stomach growled, and she rolled over, tapping Charlie lightly on the nose. “You hungry?” she asked. Two puffy green eyes fluttered open and stared blankly back at her.

He nodded and sat up, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. She followed suit and slid off the side of the bed, slipping on her bedroom slippers and shuffling into the kitchen. She flipped on the lights and opened the refrigerator, carefully removing the carton of eggs and gallon of milk. Charlie shuffled in behind her and perched himself on the counter, his phone open and in his right hand.

“No!” Aubree said sternly, pulling a spoon from the utensil dish and smacking Charlie on the arm. “Bad!”

“Ow! That hurt!” Charlie cried, pulling away and rubbing his arm. “What was that for?”

“Give me the phone.” Aubree held out her hand and waited, rearing back the hand that held the spoon when he refused. With a pout, Charlie relented his phone, childishly sticking his tongue out as she turned back toward the stove.

“What are we doing in here anyway?” Charlie asked, leaning back on both hands.

“We’re making brownies.”

“Why? You hate chocolate.”

“But you don’t.”

Aubree started mixing in one ingredient after the other, her phone playing “New Romantics” by Taylor Swift through the speaker on the microwave. Her roommate was spending the night with her boyfriend, so the music could be as loud as they wanted.

“Are you gonna help me?” Aubree asked, flicking flour across the room. The white powder snowed down around Charlie, clinging to his shirt and hair. “Or are you just gonna sit there and pout?”

“Oh, I’m gonna help!” Charlie grabbed the rubber spatula from the half empty mixing bowl and flicked the end in Aubree’s direction, landing large clumps of brownie mix across her face. She stood in shock for a minute before grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it across the small room. Charlie sidestepped the shower, holding the mixing bowl up as a shield. In minutes, the room was covered in powdered sugar, flour, and brownie mix as the two settled on the floor. Charlie’s once brown hair was now solid white while Aubree’s face and t-shirt were spotted with brownie mix.

“You look like a mess,” Charlie said with a chuckle.

“You’re one to talk, Grandpa!” Aubree replied with a snort. Charlie chuckled, the sound resounding deep within his chest. His green eyes shone brightly, a small dimple on his left cheek sitting playfully beside his smile. Gently, he reached up and wiped a glob of brownie mix from Aubree’s forehead, bringing it to his mouth to taste.

“At least you did a good job on the brownie mix,” he said, reaching for another glob just on the tip of her nose.

“Yeah, too bad they never made it to the oven!”

Aubree watched as her words escaped her mouth in white puffs and disappeared. Her arms tightened at her sides, and she hugged herself closer despite her warmth amidst the frigid air. She knew his answer like the back of her hand. She couldn’t stop the trembling in her hands though.

“I’ll talk to her,” Charlie said, kissing her on the forehead and pulling her in for a hug. She nodded her understanding and hugged him back, swallowing past the giant lump in her throat. It wasn’t fair of her to question this, to seemingly insert herself in a four-year friendship that had recently derailed, but there was something about the two of them she just couldn’t get over. They would’ve been the perfect couple, everyone knew it, or at least everyone thought so.

She could still remember the screenshot she had gotten only months prior, confirming Charlie’s updated relationship, a picture of the two of them from sophomore year sitting atop the good news. She had announced it to her roommates in their group text and within seconds she had received all the information she would ever need to know about this girl - first name, last name, high school, place of employment, social security number. Her friends had found everything, including the comments that accompanied the post that had deemed their relationship “perfect” and “about time.” It hadn’t hurt her as badly then as it did now.

“I’m gonna try and make it home,” Charlie said, his chin bumping the top of her head as he spoke. He pulled away and leaned in for a kiss, his breath warming her cheeks. She watched as he climbed in the car and slid the key into the ignition, starting the car with a single flick of his wrist. She leaned into the front seat, letting the heat warm her as it blew through the vents. She really couldn’t wait to get back to her bed.

“Drive safe,” she said, kissing him again. “And let me know when you get home. I love you!”

“No more than I love you.”

She stepped away, and he closed the door, waving goodbye as he backed from his space and drove off. She watched as his tail lights disappeared around a bend, and she prayed he’d get home safely. Leave it to him to scare the crap out of her driving home in several feet of snow.

She turned and walked briskly back inside, finally starting to feel the cold. She opened the door and delighted in the heat. She pulled her phone out, scrolling through Twitter as she walked.

Charlie ® @charlie_09

@NFL Get better refs! A DPI on an uncatchable ball?! What?!?

Claire ♡ @claire-bear-97

Replying to @charlie_09 and @NFL

Did the refs forget the alphabet or something, cause that means nothing to me!🤣

She had read through the string of tweets a thousand times but still she read them again, hating the way her heart flinched at their familiarity. There were seventeen in total, all replies to one stupid tweet that had sparked some sort of public conversation. To anyone else they seemed flirty, to anyone else that should’ve been her.

The snow was beginning to melt, but the temperature inside the coffee shop was still much warmer than the air outside. She watched as people splashed through the slush and puddles the snow had left behind. The sun was just starting to set behind the mountains, painting the sky a vibrant orange dotted with cotton clouds. If she placed her hand against the frosted glass she knew she could feel the drop in temperature, the coming night promising a few more inches of snow.

The bell jangled over the door pulling her attention away from the window. Aubree glanced up to find a young girl, her tousled chocolate curls tucked beneath a gray beanie, flakes of snow still clinging to her hair. She shook the snow from her coat and stomped the slush from her boots, making her away across the room to the counter before lifting her gaze. It was Claire.

Charlie ® @charlie_09

When are we finally gonna see someone else get a chance at being quarterback? We’re already 27 points ahead!

Claire ♡ @claire-bear-97

Replying to @charlie_09

NEVER!!!!!!!!!

Charlie ® @charlie_09

Replying to @claire-bear-97

You don’t even know what I’m talking about...

Claire ♡ @claire-bear-97

Replying to @charlie_09

Doesn’t matter, answers still the same.

After ordering, Claire turned toward the window, her eyes scanning the room as she looked for a seat. Her eyes found Aubree where she sat just a few tables over before she could look away. Claire eagerly waved, making her way through the cluster of tables and chairs once she had her order.

“May I?” she asked shyly, pointing to the seat across from Aubree.

Aubree nodded and Claire slid the seat out, removing her jacket, gloves, and beanie before sitting down. The two girls stared at each other for a moment before looking away. Aubree’s eyes found something interesting just outside the window, and Claire took interest in her phone. Silence permeated the air between them as they searched for something to say. Aubree was just about to get up and leave, opting to brace the cold rather than sit there another second and try for small talk with her boyfriend’s ex, when the other girl spoke. “I’m really sorry.”

Aubree looked across the table, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. “For what?”

Claire looked out the window for a moment, her crystal blue eyes lost in thought. “For unintentionally trying to come between you and Charlie. When we broke up back in March I didn’t realize how in love with him I still was, and I thought things could just go back to the way they were before. With the tweets last week, I wasn’t trying to flirt or get attention, I just wanted things to be normal again. You know? Trying to be friends after dating is the worst!”

Aubree blinked and took a sip of her coffee, wincing at the unexpected volume of her cup hitting the table as it echoed through the silence. “I wanted my best friend back. I didn’t wanna remember that I had broken his heart, even if just for a small period of time.”

“You didn’t break his heart,” Aubree replied. The noise of the cafe became louder as the sky grew darker. “But I think I understand. When we first started dating you were a big issue, I even told him that if he wanted to leave me for you he could, he just needed to be straight forward about it. Everyone believed in y’all so much.”

Claire nodded, glancing at her reflection in the window. Just behind that they could barely make out small flakes beginning to fall. Aubree’s phone buzzed from the table, and she glanced down, typing a quick response before setting it down again.

“Are you gonna be here much longer?” Claire asked, checking her watch and then draining her glass. She slipped her beanie back on and set her gloves on the table, glancing at Aubree as she waited for a response.

“Charlie’s actually going to pick me up, he’s just running a few minutes late.”

Claire slid into her puffy coat and put on her gloves. “I could give you a ride home if you’d like.”

Aubree looked at her phone once more. She started to shake her head, but her phone buzzed again, shifting her attention. She typed something before locking her phone and looking back at Claire. “That’d be great actually.” She rounded up her coat and gloves, preparing herself to brace the cold.

When they walked outside the air was frigid, a flurry of snowflakes visible within the light beneath each lamp post. The sidewalks that had previously been water and slush were now iced over, collecting snow. A fine dusting already covered the sidewalk and road, turning everything white.

Aubree followed Claire to her car with little steps, focusing all her attention on not falling. “You’ll have to mind the clutter,” Claire warned over the hood as Aubree made her way to the passenger’s side. “It’s a bit of a wreck.”

Aubree shifted a few things in the floorboard before climbing in, tossing a bag or two into the back at Claire’s suggestion. She watched her breath curl before her as they waited for the car to warm, the windshield wipers whining in protest as they made their way across the snow covered glass. The radio turned on with the car, the speakers growing in volume, Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” playing from track. Aubree resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Charlie hates this kind of music,” Claire said with a small laugh. And then after a pause, “I just want him to be happy, you’ve gotta know that. And that’s all you.”

Charlie ® @charlie_09

I’m about to get my butt handed to me in Trivia Crack...🤷

Claire ♡ @claire-bear-97

Replying to @charlie_09

You’re going down!

Charlie ® @charlie_09

Replying to @claire-bear-97

Soo scared! I’m shaking in my boots...

Claire ♡ @claire-bear-97

Replying to @charlie_09

YOU’RE GOING DOWN!!!! And besides, you don’t wear boots, silly!

Aubree watched as the trees and houses blurred together outside her window. The car wasn’t moving very fast, but everything beyond the glass seemed foreign and unreachable, like it was just out of focus. “I felt the exact same way.”

The silence felt stronger this time, like it was more than just the lack of conversation between them. It grew with the darkness. Two headlights cut across the car, illuminating the inside for a split second. The light grew brighter as it approached, the beam bouncing somewhere just below the glass. She felt the bump like a light tap, assuming they had run over something. From somewhere to her left she heard Claire say something, but she didn’t know what. Her words turned to shouts that got louder and less audible each time until all she heard was nothing.

The room was dark, the only light in the room filtering in through the cracks in the blinds. She had long ago given up on finding something to watch until someone else got home. She sat curled up on the couch with a tub of ice cream and her phone, the light from her screen illuminating her face. Her finger raked across her phone, scrolling mindlessly through her feed. She paused for a second before scrolling again, stopping again a few seconds later.

Charlie ® @charlie_09

@NFL Get better refs! A DPI on an uncatchable ball?! What?!?

Claire smiled to herself, her finger hovering over the reply button. Her fingers flitted over the screen before hitting “Done.”

Claire ♡ @claire-bear-97

Replying to @charlie_09 and @NFL

Did the refs forget the alphabet or something, cause that means nothing to me!🤣

Laughing, she tapped on Charlie’s name, scrolling through the numerous tweets on his profile. One after the other she read and replied to, understanding very little of what he was saying. A single tear rolled down her face as she tossed her head back laughing.

A car door slammed somewhere in the parking lot, and she stood to look out the window. The designated spaces just outside her apartment were still empty, the sound of voices coming from somewhere beyond her field of vision.

She stood by the couch staring out the window as it began to snow. The headlights from a passing car chasing the shadows across the living room wall. She closed her eyes to the light and turned away, small spots of light dancing in the dark behind her eyelids. Goosebumps arose on her skin as the air around her grew cooler. Her eyelids fluttered open, squinting against the brightness of the sky. Snowflakes gathered on her eyelashes, the lights crossing her vision once more.

“She’s awake,” a gruff voice announced somewhere to her right. “Let’s get her moving!”

Noise crashed against her eardrums as she gained her barings, warmth spreading throughout her body. Her mind was numb, her thoughts foggy.

“Aubree!” she croaked, her throat dry and useless. Adrenaline moved her forward as she tried to sit up with little success. Her eyes frantically searched her surroundings, her neck half craned in its brace.

There across the snow covered ground laid Aubree, her blonde hair in stark contrast against the white of the ice. Her jacket had been forced open and her bare chest exposed where her shirt had been cut up the middle. Two paramedics kneeled beside her while two more readied the gurney. Aubree had just been pulled from the passengers side where the half crunched truck still sat. It didn’t look like she was breathing on her own.

They lifted Claire’s gurney into the ambulance and shut the door. She opened her mouth to protest, to tell the paramedics that she was fine and to focus on Aubree instead. But two bangs shook the back doors causing the ambulance to take off before she could even get her mouth to work.

“Aubree,” she whispered, finally finding her voice.

“Don’t worry. She’ll be okay.”

There were a few inches of snow on the ground by the time he left. The roads were mostly clear though, the snow plows having already been out. Charlie drove home heavy footed, speeding down back roads a little faster than necessary. He was two blocks from his apartment when he rounded a bend to two police cars, an EMT, and a tow truck. Two vehicles sat just across the intersection, a blue truck forming a “T” with a crunched silver Honda. Glass lay shattered on the ground around the front of the truck and across the hood, both windows on the passenger’s side of the car completely gone. Only jagged edges remained where windows had once been. The glass in the rearview was just beginning to spider-web, the integrity of the glass still intact, the decals at the bottom corner starting to peel away.

“Wait,” he said to no one in particular as he cut the engine and threw open the door, carefully tearing across the frozen road to the little car.

“Son, you can’t come over here,” one of the fireman warned as Charlie approached out of breath.

“The driver,” he breathed, trying to push his way through. “Where’s the driver? Is she okay?”

“Do you know her?”

“She’s my friend. I’d recognize her stupid Red Sox sticker anywhere.”

“Well, the ambulance just left with the driver heading to Grand Mountain. She was a little banged up, but she’s gonna be alright.”

Charlie clapped the man on the shoulder and offered his thanks, racing back to the car and whipping it around. He pulled into the hospital parking lot only minutes later. Just through the front doors he found the nurses station, breathily demanding to know where Claire Jakob had been taken. The nurses pointed him down the hall, and he found her room on his right.

A nurse was already in her room tending to her more minor injuries, adjusting the tape and gauze the emergency team had already applied. She was awake and alert as he walked in the room, her eyes wide and large as they looked him over.

“How’s Aubree?” she asked, pulling herself into an upright position. She had a bruise blooming on her right cheek and small cuts along the side of her face. Her forehead had a small gash where she had smacked her head against the driver’s side window on impact. She looked a lot better than her car did. “Have you talked to her?”

“I haven’t,” he replied, stepping to perch on the edge of her bed. “I’ll call her here in a minute, let her know I’ll be a little late.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Her voice shook as she spoke, and the monitor behind her begin to beep a little faster. The nurse noted something on her chart before walking towards the door, casting a wary eye over her shoulder at the boy sitting on the bed. Charlie’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “She was in the car with me! She’s the one that got hit by the car!” Claire's words tumbled out of her mouth, her tongue nearly tripping over itself in her desperation to get them out.

“What?” Charlie shot up from the bed, knocking over the chair with a great commotion, bringing the nurse back through the door. “Where?”

“I don’t know. They won’t tell me, won’t let me see her!”

The nurse barely had time to cast a judging glance in Charlie’s direction before he had her by both arms. “I have to find my girlfriend,” he said, his green eyes wide and demanding an answer. “Do you know where she is?”

The nurse took a step back and nodded, pointing down the hall to the ICU. “She’ll be in there, but you can’t get in.”

Charlie thanked the nurse and tore down the hall, ignoring nurses as they called after him. The white halls and fluorescent lighting seemed to go on forever, each hall looked the exact same as the last. He followed the signs to the ICU, taking sharp turns and knocking into equipment sitting off to the sides. He got to the double doors of the ICU and recognized that he could go no further, he could only see through the small glass window at the edge of each door. Two nurses rounded the corner behind him, their clogs coming to a silent stop.

“You can’t go in there,” the nurse nearest him said, taking a step or two closer.

“I know,” he replied, his voice a mere whisper amidst the noise of the hospital.

Weeks earlier, the sun had long ago set over the horizon somewhere behind the mountains, the darkness closing in around them. He could just make out her figure from the glow of a nearby streetlight.

“One day it’s gonna come down to me or her, and you’re gonna have to choose.”

He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her small frame. She had seen him through four girlfriends and four breakups, each one more potent than the last. He had cried more in front of her than anyone else, the only person that closely rivaled her was Claire, but Claire had been one of the girlfriends that hadn’t worked. Claire had been one of the hangovers Aubree had helped him through. She was quite literally his everything. He couldn’t remember a single memory he loved that she wasn’t in.

“You took her like a shot, and I was the chaser.”

He closed his eyes and laughed at just how true that statement was. Claire had been his metronome, slowly keeping time in the background as he waited for Aubree. All of his past loves had burned like Tequila going down, and Aubree had been the cooling liquid that followed. He still continued to make bad decisions like a drunk, but when the alcohol faded somehow she made it all better.

The monitor by her bed beeped to the rhythm of her heart, the small rise and fall of her chest the only sign of life. He stood by the door staring at how helpless she looked lying there, at how helpless he had made her.