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Name
If you are selecting a new name, baby name sites are fantastic. Consider if this is the name you want to stick with for the rest of your life. Is it a name you will be proud of when you are in your seventies? Is it a name that you could state with confidence to your peers? Your parents? Teachers? Doctors?
There are a lot of names that are really common in the trans community and are joked about as “trans names.” I’ve heard of trans women joking that they always select really outdated names.
https://www.behindthename.com/ <- Personally, this is my favorite site to default to.
Consider the culture that your chosen name is coming from. Like if you’re not Japanese, maybe don’t pick a name like Akira, or if you’re not Hispanic/Latino, maybe Sergio isn’t the best name to pick.
Sometimes parents appreciate being involved in the process. In the end, it is ultimately your decision. You were given a name at birth because you did not have a voice to identify yourself with. Now, you have your own voice with which to state yourself.
Think about middle names. Do you want to keep your middle name? Change it? It’s up to you.
Some trans folk feel uncomfortable having a name that is similar to their dead name. Some prefer to just “gender-bend” their dead name.
Speaking of dead names, the term “dead name” can be used to refer to one’s name that was given to them at birth. Not all trans people feel comfortable referring to their birth name as their dead name. For some, it implies that the person they were pre-transition was not them at all and by transitioning they are symbolically killing that person. Hence, “dead” name.
California schools are legally required to change your name in their system! It is literally your legal right, if the school is refusing to change your name they are doing something illegal.
At Mira Costa, the system we use Aeries. Aeries has a sub-system with your legal name, the main screen that your counselors will see does not feature your legal name. They can change your name to your desired name so that teachers will only see that name. It shouldn’t be in parentheses next to your dead/legal name, it should just be your name. When I attended Mira Costa, Mr. Beck, Ms. Fields, Ms. Bledsoe, and Ms. Wildenberg had experience changing the name in the system and can be referred to as references.
If you want to legally change your name and gender, the first step you have to take is getting a court order. Court filing fees for a court order cost $435 in the state of California. You can apply for a fee waiver, which will waive the cost of the filing fees. Torrance Courthouse is where I filed my forms.
https://www.courts.ca.gov/25797.htm
This is where you can find the forms you need to submit to the courthouse. If you are confused about them, Bet Tzedek is a legal firm that can help you fill them out. You can also contact me and I can help you fill them out, although I cannot guarantee that I can do them accurately because I am not a qualified legal advisor.
When I attended Mira Costa, they did not need a certified copy. They just asked for an unofficial copy. Certified copies are expensive, they can be $25-$50.
Something rad about California is that you can have your court order reflect a change to a nonbinary gender! You also do not need a doctor's affidavit to get your court order anymore.
Translifeline has a micro grant service to assist with the funds necessary for the court order. I received a micro grant from them, so I can vouch for their validity.
If you were born in California, you’re in luck! When you receive your court order, it automatically gets sent to the state for the issuance of a new birth certificate. If you were born out of state? Yikers bikers. You basically have to do your own research to figure out the state’s laws regarding amending your birth certificate to reflect your name and gender.