Nightshift – Kurzgesagt after Dark
Nightshift – Kurzgesagt after Dark
Henry's Speed Run SOURCES
For this video we relied on Alison Weir’s wonderful The six wives of Henry VIII. Check it out if you have the time!
It’s Battle Royale at the Tudor Palace! What’s your move?
THE SPANISH PRINCESS
Welcome, Catherine of Aragon! Since your husband died of a mysterious plague, Henry is your best bet to escape widowhood.
#William Paquette, EBSCO article on Catherine of Aragon (2022)
https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/history/catherine-aragon
It won’t be easy; he is a heartbreaker with a talent for music, jousting, and a million pounds in the bank.
You use all your special skills. Golden hair and perfect skin catch Henry’s eye, while an alliance with your Spanish homeland and a dowry equivalent to 11.6 million pounds today knocks out rivals.
#Alison Weir, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) pg.101
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628
When the prince ascends the throne as King Henry VIII, you join as his queen.
Hold on – Danger!
Henry is crushing on Anne Boleyn, one of your ladies-in-waiting.
She uses her hypnotic gaze to wrap the King around her finger, but refuses to sleep with him unless they marry.
#Alison Weir, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) pg.201
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628
It’s ok, the Pope is on your side. Henry can’t annul your marriage.
Unless…
He breaks from the Roman Church!
The English Reformation has changed the game. Your marriage is now void.
GAME OVER
#Mark Cartwright, World History Encyclopedia article on The English Reformation (13 July, 2020)
https://www.worldhistory.org/English_Reformation/
#Weir Alison, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) pp.385-387, 395
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628
THE REFORMIST
Welcome, Anne Boleyn! With Catherine out, you have secured the crown.
#Betty Richardson, EBSCO article on Anne Boleyn (2022)
While Henry is still a Catholic, he no longer answers to the Vatican, so no more popes messing up your game.
Still, people hate you. Your best protection is to deliver an heir. First baby is a girl. Error! Try again. You have a series of miscarriages. Error! Henry is mad.
He accuses you of witchcraft, conspiring to kill him, and cheating with your brother.
You are beheaded at the Tower of London. The executioner raises your severed head and proclaims: “So perish all the King’s enemies.”
Henry is free to marry again.
GAME OVER
#Weir Alison, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) pp.385-387, 395
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628
Some sources say this phrase is usually said after executions but there is no proof it happened when Anne was beheaded. But we took some creative liberties and put it in.
THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE
Welcome, Jane Seymour! You’ve served the last two queens. Now, it's your turn.
#Sharon Arnault, EBSCO article on Jane Seymour (2022)
https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/history/jane-seymour
Henry has become an irritable man with a bad leg injury from falling off his horse. Still, you’re on a mission.
#CR Chalmers & EJ Chaloner, 500 years later: Henry VIII, leg ulcers and the course of history, Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine 102 (2009) pp. 514-517.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1258/jrsm.2009.090286
As a fan of the Pope, you’d love to fix things between him and Henry. So you activate your hidden power:
Deliver a baby boy!
You have secured the Tudor dynasty. But now, your health bar is crashing down from birth complications.
You die. Good game, you will have Henry’s heart forever.
GAME OVER
THE SHAPESHIFTER
Welcome, Anne of Cleves! Henry needs a German wife to secure an alliance against his rivals.
#Baird Shuman, EBSCO article on Anne of Cleves (2022)
You mail your hottest portrait. It’s super effective. Henry signs the marriage contract before seeing you. But when you meet, he doesn’t find you as pretty as advertised.
Still, there’s no backsies. Not without a political crisis.
You try to charm him, but your lack of fashion and musical skills doesn’t help.
#Weir Alison, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) pg.488
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628
He wants an annulment. You could fight or fold.
You choose to give up.
You’re out as queen, but your cooperation has unlocked a terrific divorce deal. You earn a permanent spot at court, a handsome pension, and a few palaces.
GAME OVER
THE YOUNG QUEEN
Welcome, Catherine Howard! Henry wants a fifth wife. Your uncle, the Duke of Norfolk, places you in the palace to charm him and push your family’s pro-Catholic goals.
#Tom Auffenberg, EBSCO article on Catherine Howard (2022)
https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/history/catherine-howard
You’re not rich or educated, but your teenage energy makes the King feel like a kid again.
After your wedding, he showers you with gifts. Is he in love?
Danger! You let your guard down. The anti-Catholic Archbishop has been digging into your past. Rumor has it you’ve slept with a courtier before your marriage, and a love letter to your cousin pops up.
#National Archives Article on Katherine Howard's letter to Thomas Culpeper
The men are executed. One of them is hanged, drawn, and quartered.
You just lose your head.
GAME OVER
#Weir Alison, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) p.588
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628
THE WIDOW
Welcome, Catherine Parr! With your husband recently deceased, you can now marry the man you love. Unfortunately, Henry has noticed you and proposes first. You can’t say no, he’s the king.
#Baird Shuman, EBSCO article on Catherine Howard (2022)
https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/history/catherine-parr
He’s no longer looking for passion, so you keep him interested with your intellect. It works; you even manage to cheer him up despite his leg and all.
Nothing could go wrong now…
Danger! Something did go wrong. You've been discussing religion a bit too much, and now you’re suspected of heresy. Using your diplomatic skills, you plead with Henry. Any debates about the church were meant only to distract him from his pain.
You convince him.
Congratulations! You are the one who survived.
PLAY AGAIN
#Weir Alison, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Find out the truth about Henry VIII’s wives (Penguin Random House, 1991) pp. 647-798
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/359290/the-six-wives-of-henry-viii-by-weir-alison/9780099523628