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Sophia Xiao-fan Austrins 張曉帆
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Sophia Xiao-fan Austrins 張曉帆

Word Offerings
poetry with visual musings

Chasing our Tale

Image description: A cat with claws extended circles a red orb, hunting the snake in its own tail. Drawn in bold black brush lines, a red glow captures the heart, mind, and view ahead.

As I live in a body that is literally attacking itself, it strikes me that autoimmune disease can be a metaphor for something happening in my own communities.

Primed by painful histories and experiences, our defense systems lose self tolerance. So fast and bolstered by fear, anger, and pain that we can stop differentiating between real threats and our own body.

The alarm system did not appear from nowhere. It was built through injury. Suspicion often begins as wisdom, and the body’s protectors are doing their duty as best they know how. 

I am not interested in narratives that frame our communities as overreacting when we are responding to harm. Immunosuppression can leave us vulnerable too. Accountability is necessary. Threats and harms are real. 

But when pain goes unresolved long enough, we can begin mistaking one another for the source of our suffering — turning on people who are also trying to survive the same conditions, and destroying the very ecosystem needed for our collective healing.

Illustration made while sitting with these thoughts.

Dark. 

Holes. 

Heavy. 

Tumbling. 

Growing. 

Glowing. 

Held.

To the Ones Before Me. I don’t know your names. Not all of them. Some are stories overheard, some are silence. But I—know—you.  Listen—feel: The pulse of your journeys, the lessons woven into every step. You are with us in the way our hands see, a quiet thread connecting us to all that came before.  You crossed oceans to carve out our lives. Your sacrifices bear the soil from which our hope grows.  Look into my hands. What do you see? The traces of your work, the weight of your dreams.  You are not gone— you are here in the breath of incense, in the light of every candle, in the quiet blessing of my day.  I trust that you are nourished, wrapped in warmth, surrounded by we who remember you. your journeys complete, your spirit lifted. your love remains.  -Sophia Xiao-fan Austrins

School of the Unlearning:

Sun and Sea:

What is the emotion of the Sea?

Chronic Pain Portraits:

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