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"Smoking is the leading cause of statistics."

"My rule of life prescribed as absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them."

"They [the electronic cigarette] are a product of coercion, who would use them anywhere you could smoke?"

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times."

"I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping."

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"Rather than the unattainable standard of ‘safe’, we should be thinking in terms of ‘safer’. Despite the risks associated with soccer, I would, for instance, prefer my children to play soccer rather than play with live hand grenades."

"There’s no doubt it [The Electronic Cigarette] can save many lives and hundreds of millions of pounds."

"If smoking is not allowed in heaven, I shall not go."

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

"I’m not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now."

"Non-smokers…die every day. Sleep tight!"

“I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn’t want to smoke, but I didn’t believe myself”

"Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it’s the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it."

"A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."

"A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?"

"When I don’t smoke I scarcely feel as if I’m living. I don’t feel as if I’m living unless I’m killing myself."

"I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs."

"I have seen many a man turn his gold into smoke, but you are the first who has turned smoke into gold."

"Smoking is a custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless."

"If you are thinking of giving up smoking, I'd recommend it. The first week was the most difficult. I used apples and oranges.

Oranges were better as they took a while to peel so were more hassle than an apple, also very good from a health point of view. You have to change your routine and habits completely, avoid situations where you'd usually smoke.

It's nice to have energy, it's nice to have good skin, it's nice to not cough up chunks of blackened lung tissue every morning, it's nice to taste food properly, it's nice to be able to run, it's nice not to stink like an ashtray."

"Why, do people addicted to inhaling an insecticide (not only is it a common ingredient in organic bug sprays; that’s also its function in the tobacco plant) believe they have a right to spew noxious, toxic, carcinogenic fumes all over the place in public?"

"Action on Smoking and Health has decreed that exposing others to secondhand smoke in any circumstance, including in the home, should make all smokers liable to criminal prosecution for homicide with depraved indifference, punishable by death in areas of the United States."

"Someone in my lab just showed me a bright pink one. And they’re selling them with flavors like chocolate and bubble gum,” she says. “These things have nicotine, and you can tell who they’re trying to hook."

"I understand why people use nicotine replacement aids, but I don’t understand why people want to pretend that they’re smoking. If you had a serial killer who liked to stab people, would you give him a rubber knife?"

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

“A bitch always smokes." He looks back at Lucy. "A bitch is the opposite of a whore. A bitch doesn't need anybody. Or she wants people to think she doesn't need anybody. And she smokes to prove it.”

“Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't.”

“As Alaska zipped through something obvious about linear equations, stoner/baller Hank Walsten said, "Wait, wait. I don't get it."

"That's because you have eight functioning brain cells."

"Studies show that Marijuana is better for your health than those cigarettes," Hank said.

Alaska swallowed a mouthful of fries, took a drag on her cigarette, and blew a cloud of smoke at Hank. "I may die young," she said. "But at least I'll die smart. Now, back to tangents.”

“Even if it were possible to cast my horoscope in this one life, and to make an accurate prediction about my future, it would not be possible to 'show' it to me because as soon as I saw it my future would change by definition.

This is why Werner Heisenberg's adaptation of the Hays Office the so-called principle of uncertainty whereby the act of measuring something has the effect of altering the measurement is of such importance.

In my case, the difference is often made by publicity. For example, and to boast of one of my few virtues, I used to derive pleasure from giving my time to bright young people who showed promise as writers and who asked for my help.

Then some profile of me quoted someone who disclosed that I liked to do this. Then it became something widely said of me, whereupon it became almost impossible for me to go on doing it because I started to receive far more requests than I could respond to, let alone satisfy.

Perception modifies reality: when I abandoned the smoking habit of more than three decades I was given a supposedly helpful pill called Wellbutrin. But as soon as I discovered that this was the brand name for an antidepressant, I tossed the bottle away.

There may be successful methods for overcoming the blues but for me, they cannot include a capsule that says: 'Fool yourself into happiness, while pretending not to do so.' I should actually want my mind to be strong enough to circumvent such a trick.”

“I quit smoking in December. I’m really depressed about it. I love smoking, I love fire, I miss lighting cigarettes. I like the whole thing about it, to me it turns into the artist’s life, and now people like Bloomberg have made animals out of smokers, and they think that if they stop smoking everyone will live forever.”

“Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm bored with knitting. I've taken up arson”

“Well, I'm not here to impinge on anybody else's lifestyle. If I'm in a place where I know I'm going to harm somebody's health or somebody asks me to please not smoke, I just go outside and smoke. But I do resent the way the nonsmoking mentality has been imposed on the smoking minority. Because, first of all, in a democracy, minorities do have rights. And, second, the whole pitch about smoking has gone from being a health issue to a moral issue, and when they reduce something to a moral issue, it has no place in any kind of legislation, as far as I'm concerned.”

“Ronan did not smoke; he preferred his habits with hangovers.”

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

“Smoking I find the most ridiculous of all the varieties of human behavior and practically the only one that is entirely against nature. Can you imagine a cow or any animal taking a mouthful of smoldering straw then breathing in the smoke and blowing it out through its nostrils?”

“After some time he felt for his pipe. It was not broken, and that was something. Then he felt for his pouch, and there was some tobacco in it, and that was something more. Then he felt for matches and he could not find any at all, and that shattered his hopes completely.”

“What is this thing you call substance abuse?

All I wanna do is forget and get loose.

Drinking and smoking over and over

What's so great about a life that's sober?

There's nothing cool about being young

When the monsters of the night have stolen the sun.

I'm tired of searching for words in the sky.

All I wanna do is drink and die.

Nothing is real. It's all a big lie.

All I wanna do is drink and die.

There's nothing cool about being young

When the monsters of the night have stolen the sun.”

“I didn’t like having to explain to them, so I just shut up, smoked a cigarette, and looked at the sea.”

“My dad is dead. And as I type this, by the window, on a rainy day, I am alive, yes. I am living. But sometimes it doesn't feel like I am doing it fast enough, or hard enough, or all the way. And it is times like that when I can understand wanting a cigarette in my hand, then my mouth, then my hand again. Holding the cigarette. Tending to the cigarette. Giving the cigarette what it needs. Tapping it in the ashtray. Sucking on it.

“Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately, he'd been chain-smoking like a felon.”

“Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, "Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they're flushed out to sea with the rest of the city's filth. After such time, we will systematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives."

Wouldn't you like to see a sign like that?”

“People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.”

"Does it make sense to boycott ourselves? Does it hold water to boycott the fluid course of our life? Is it consistent to commit self-sabotage by destroying wittingly our corporeal and mental structure?

Those are the questions thousands of people may ask as they are confronted with the schizophrenic dilemma on the point of smoking, boozing, doping, sexual transgressing or environmental polluting. Many seem to be aware of their problems.

Many have decided to stop from tomorrow on. But when tomorrow and after tomorrow come many tend to let slip their vow and their self-sabotage goes on to rule their life.

Their dissonant behavior transforms them into social losers or hopeless patsies and depresses them into the class of forlorn pariahs. They realize, as such, that self-handicapping makes no sense, but are not able to protect themselves from themselves since they haven’t got the muscle to live down the spell of addiction.

Thousands of people may feel having set the bar too high and recognize they are failing to find the right angle and are missing sufficient insight to steer their life.

If, however, they decide to give it a try they should be aware that the road may be very bumpy and that they have to be prepared for disappointments and regressions, that they might have to deal with very slowly crescent improvements, that they shouldn’t take themselves for a ride and that they could only possibly succeed by focusing painfully on the path to breaking free from the hornet's nest they have got themselves into.”

“My daughter told me she wasn't afraid of the spider but that she was afraid of my smoking. She said that she was afraid of my dying. So I went downstairs, picked up a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and showed her what real fear was.”

“If I had felt then as I feel now, or as I felt a few years after I had married her, nothing could possibly have persuaded me to marry a woman who smoked. Dates, yes. Sexual adventures, yes. But to pin me permanently inside closed quarters with a smoker? Never. Never. Ne

"Beauty wouldn't count, the sweetness wouldn't count, suitability in every other respect wouldn't count.”

“Then she declared loudly, “Smoke break!” and everyone’s eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.”

“Laughing like crazy the child goes back to the city gives birth to monsters creates earthquakes hairy women run naked old folks who look like fetuses laugh and smoke.”

“I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking.”

"It has always been more about a relapse than it is about quitting. I have met hundreds of people who quit cigarettes every day. But do they succeed at it?

No, they just quit every day.”