The most important shared value of our group is that group members are supportive of each other and they serve as resources for each other. We always strive to develop and maintain "a culture of tolerating ignorance": groups members are open about what they understand and don't understand, with absolutely no judgment or scorn. They are willing to listen, teach, and learn from each other wherever they can.
Mutual respect and comfort in the group is essential for the group to function. If interpersonal conflicts arise then bring them to the attention of the PI and we'll discuss them together until we find a solution.
Getting a PhD is a full time job -- it's not really "school" anymore. Students who do not put the effort into their research consistent with a full time job (think 40 hours/week or more) are unlikely to have a very successful PhD.
That said, there are many ways to be a "good physicist", particularly in theoretical physics. There is no one recipe for how or when to work. And no one is going to police your effort or make sure that you are actually working consistently. But there are a few clear principles for having a successful PhD:
Learn and work independently. A graduate student is not "an employee" of the PI, nor are they a "student" in the classroom sense. A PhD student is an independent researcher and they need to take ownership of the project they work on. A PhD student should be continually learning and trying new things on their own. The PhD advisor continually learns new things from their PhD students! A student who waits to be told what to do, or what they need to learn, is going to have a difficult time in grad school.
Try to spend at least a few hours in the office every work day. Groups members need to serve as resources for each other -- helping each other think through problems, chatting informally, having fun, and giving social encouragement. It's hard to do this properly if no one is ever in the office.
Attend the weekly group meeting. Our group mostly uses the group meeting to learn together by discussing papers and discussing each other's recent research results. This kind of informal, socialized learning is a crucial skill in research, and it will help you connect the formal language of physics papers with the informal and intuitive way that people actually think about physics concepts.
Meet weekly with the PI. Weekly meetings are invaluable for brainstorming, problem solving, and making strategic decisions about what to do next.
If you get stuck, don't stay stuck. Research is full of dead ends. If you hit one and don't know what to do, don't just sit there! Start talking to people around you: reach out to the PI and/or start bothering the people around you to help you think it through. Search the literature, try weird things, etc. Maybe you'll be struck by inspiration, or maybe you'll realize that the problem needs to be redefined or rerouted. Both are great outcomes. Don't feel like you have to wait until your next weekly meeting with the PI. If you find yourself stuck for more than 24 hours, then go find someone who can help you get unstuck.
Attend the condensed matter seminars and colloquia. A crucial part of the PhD training is understanding the broader context of research in your field and learning the language of physics research. Going to seminars and colloquia is a key part of this process. Even if you don't think you're understanding anything the speaker is saying, it's still valuable in a way that's similar to learning a foreign language by immersion. Little by little your intuition will develop and things will start to click.
Be prepared to give a talk about your work roughly once per semester, starting your third year. Learning to present your work to others is another crucial part of the PhD training.
Use your larger PhD/dissertation committee as a source of advising. Your PhD advisor is usually your primary source of advising, but they shouldn't be your only advisor. Use the other members of your committee when you want career advice or when you want a second opinion.
Finish your PhD in five years. The timeline for a PhD can be variable, and it can be adjusted based on personal factors (job offers, two-body problems, etc.). But the default PhD length in condensed matter theory is five years, and you should plan to finish in that time frame. The PI will do his best to make sure that you stay on track for this goal.
There is no one answer to the question "what is a good PhD"? The answer to that question depends very much on your career goals.
For example, if your goal is to follow the academic path by getting a good postdoc position after your PhD, then you will likely want your CV to include:
4+ publications (including 3+ first-author publications)
A history of collaborating/co-authoring with people outside your research group
Strong recommendation letters from your advisor and from two (or more) well-known and respected scientists
A track record of presenting your work at conferences and seminars
On the other hand, if your goal is to get an industry job, then the ideal CV might include:
One or two published papers
A list of marketable technical skills (e.g., programming, machine learning, or data analysis)
One or two summer internships at a company
Social connections with people at companies you are interested in
Both paths are great and are equally to be counted as "success". You don't need to know at the beginning of grad school what your career goals are. But the sooner you (as a student) understand what you want to do after you graduate, the easier it will be for the PI to arrange your program of study to help you meet those goals.
Postdocs in condensed matter theory are mostly treated as independent researchers. They set their own program of research and are feel free to develop new ideas and new collaborations entirely on their own. The role of the PI is mostly to make sure that postdocs always have something interesting to work on, to give advice and to act as a sounding board for research ideas, and to help postdocs make connections they need to further their career goals.
This extra independence notwithstanding, the set of "expectations for graduate students" mostly still applies to postdocs (except that postdocs may decide that they don't need to meet weekly with the PI).
The PhD advisor is literally just an advisor, not a boss. The goal of the PI is to make sure that group members are enabled to make progress toward their career goals. Those goals are set by the students and postdocs themselves.
Things that group members can expect from the PI:
Weekly one-on-one meetings with all group members. There will be some exceptions due to travel etc., but you should expect in general for the PI to make time for at least one hour of one-on-one conversation per week.
Candid and honest feedback and advice. A PI should always be supportive but should never be a "cheerleader". It is very important that the PI gives honest assessment and feedback about scientific work. This way, any time the PI says "this is good work" the statement can be trusted. Similarly, the PI needs to give clear, objective, and helpful advice about a group member's progress and career goals.
Attempts to arrange opportunities that align with the group member's stated career goals. The PI will always accept whatever goals the group members says they have -- a group member will never be pressured to follow the academic career path or conform to any other standard of the "right" career. The PI's responsibility is to help find scientific problems and career opportunities that best enables the group member's stated career goals.
Regular communication outside of one-on-one meetings. Email is usually the best way to get a hold of Brian, but you can also just walk into his office to chat any time you see the door open. Or use the Microsoft Teams chat.
GRA funding after the first two years of a PhD program. Being a teaching assistant in graduate school is a useful experience, but it also slows down research progress. The PI will do his very best to make sure that all students in his group have GRA funding after their second year. For this reason openings for new PhD students can be limited when group funding is lower.
Opportunities to give talks. Part of the PI's responsibility is to make sure that students have opportunities to present their work. This can include going to conferences or summer schools. If you see a conference or school that looks interesting, point it out to the PI, and maybe he can work it out.