The Modern

BABES PLZ CHECK OUT THIS GOSSIP COLUMN I WROTE FOR THE AYODHYAN HERALD!!

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Where she at tho??

Gossip of the Land by M. Palmer

So like we all know how great Ram is and blah blah blah BUT we have to ask the real questions, aka where is our home gurl Sita?!? Like we all know the story of her kidnapping adventure but liiiike we need the deets on why things went like totes bad after. No one knows what went down between our lovers personally except them, duh, but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to attempt to find out some juicy dirt. I personally blame all the Ram die-hard loyals 'cause they completely ruined our girl's rep! I mean who accuses a friggin' queen of cheating with a literal monster?! WHATEVS!

So get this, I went through some stuff let me tell ya... First I got this sick interview with the main man himself, Ram. I must have come on to the taboo question a bit too quick because the next thing I knew, I was like being taken away by some dirtbags. RUDE! Then I somehow got lucky 'cause I snaked my way out of that prison they put me in and my journey for Sita kept on goin'. The things I went through... ugh... y'all don't even wanna know. I literally slept on the ground, met the most sleazy people, and had convos with people I never dreamed of meeting. With the help of some old friends, I was able to get a rad fake ID and even a passport. Then, I friggin' saw myself on the news. YEAH! It wasn't exactly a shining moment for me but who doesn't wanna be on TV am I right? Anywho, some of the people that I was able to chit-chat with included Sita's sista and some real scary soldier dudes. Her own sister didn't know where she was and like TBH I was a bit razzled by that, but ya girl didn't stop! I finally found Sita after ages of looking, and I was totes upset. She looked so drained... she had like no color to her face anymore and just looked flat out sad. Now, don't get me wrong, Sita still is QUEEN but motherhood takes a lot outta ya.

Oh, did I forget to mention that? YEAH SHE IS OFFICIALLY RAM'S BABY MAMMA! Sita had two suuups cute twin boys. She wasn't raising them like some stuck-up princes, but how she wanted to. Now that's our girl!! <3 Obvi my time had to be ruined by some lame guys who decided it would be cool to literally kidnap the boys. Like WUT! WHO DOES THAT? So then Sita went all mama-bear on us and was like dead set on getting her babies back, but that meant facing Ram. When I finally made it to the Palace-O-Ram, I had to skurt around the guards who had already imprisoned me before. Yet again I got lucky and guess who I found!? The adorbs twins!! The little rascals helped me get into the palace (through the way they snuck out lol), but the stupid guards found us. Then some REAL ish hit the fan... Sita, Ram, the guards, me, the boys... ALL IN ONE PLACE. Sita and Ram had a little moment and like then Sita just did a little hair flip and totally swerved Ram! That is when the ground shook and thens went down, literally. Pillars in the palace were falling, the floor began to crack, and people were disappearing to middle Earth y'all, including dearest Sita. The boys were absolutely devastated, as was Ram and I.

Fast forward to a few days later at the funeral of some of the fallen, and I saw the little princes just as they were born to be... shining and strong. FIERCE!! Then in the distance, I swear my eyes deceived me 'cause like I saw her. I SAW SITA. I think... look if y'all were in my position then you would get it but like I'm pretty sure it was her. SO if anyone knows ANYTHING on the whereabouts of Mama, plz respond to our Sitaobsessed website Sitapedia 'cause we are all in this forevs! Long live the QUEEN!! :)

Author's Note: I decided to use another Samhita Arni masterpiece as my resource for this page. I chose to use Arni's book The Missing Queen because it provided a unique/different yet modern twist on the story of Sita. In this story a modern-day reporter is set out on a mission to find the truth behind what happened to Sita. In this story, the traditional aspect of the Ramayana is kept to a minimum, but deep down the story still has the same overall idea. The people of Ayodhya were the ones to blame, the loyal subjects of Ram. They were the ones that tore this relationship apart, and they were the ones to blame for whatever happened to Sita. Arni made this piece such an amazing example of how perspectives can be so important, and how human relations really don't change through time. Humans are humans are humans after all. I also decided to be a bit vague in this post because I wanted to show how the media in today's society never tells the whole story, no matter how "trustworthy" the reporter is. Everyone has to put their own spin on things and no one is ever going to know THE absolute entire truth. Lastly, I wanted to end with a question still on the mind of the "reporter" as well as the readers just as Arni did in her book.