COUPLES WEEKEND PRESENTATIONS RESOURCES
TOPIC : Understanding and Applying the principle of P/PC balance to achieve high effectiveness in our marriages BY SEUN ADEAGBO, JULY 2ND ,2022
P is the production of the results you want.
PC is the production capability, or the thing that produces the results.
Think of the P/PC Balance in terms of Aesop’s story of the goose that laid golden eggs: A farmer discovered one day that his goose had laid a solid golden egg. He was thrilled — and surprised when, the following day, the goose laid another golden egg. This continued day after day. Over time the farmer got greedy and impatient, and one day he killed the goose, thinking he would open up the body and collect all the golden eggs at once. But when he looked inside the dead goose, it was empty. There were no golden eggs (P), and now no goose left to produce them (PC).
The farmer valued the golden eggs over the goose — or the P over the PC — and the imbalance ultimately left him without either.
This principle can be apply in all facets of life where we expect results in marriages, business, human resource, parents and children relationship etc
Application of p and PC In marriage.
Most times we don't maintain balance in the p and PC ,which makes us not getting the desired result or output we want from our spouse. Most times, we focus too much attention on the P or the output and less on the PC or the person. Just like the famer that killed the PC or chicken because he wants more of the P or the golden eggs. He ended up losing the two, sadly that is what happen in some marriages , when a spouse is too selfish only focusing on what he. Or she wants rather than to focusing on the person that will produce the result.
Marriage benefits and P /PC balance
You can think of marriage as one example of the P/PC Balance. Marriage brings benefits to both people involved, including mental and emotional support as well as legal and financial benefits — double income, joint taxes, shared healthcare benefits, and shared rent/mortgage and other household costs. But if both partners neglect maintaining the health of their relationship, they risk the marriage falling apart and the loss of all those benefits that come with it.
TITLE: INTENTIONAL PARENTING BY MRS AFOLAKEMI ADEAGBO , SUNDAY JULY 17TH ,2022
There are key things parents must do to achieve the goal of Intentionality. First thing to know is that parenting is a journey and the journey starts from knowing what purpose your child is here on earth to fulfil and you then consciously begin to put them through it. Some of us don't even know our child or children's gifts, skills and abilities. All we are mostly concerned about is for them to be academically sound (which isn't bad at all) and then we leave the rest to chance. I will like to expound on this point with the story of the Serena and Venus Williams sisters, I am sure most of us are familiar with who they are. The two were not much more than toddlers when their father Richard Williams, set in motion what was to become a sporting juggernaut. Their father started teaching them how to play Tennis when they were four! He saw the interest at that tender age and he was able to nurture the raw gift and talent to full maturity! Today the William sisters are worth - Serena ($94,518,971), while Venus ($95 million). This is deliberate parenting!
Another goal or purpose of deliberate parenting is to train or better still teach our children. Unfortunately, most parents have left this task to school, home teachers and Sunday school teachers. This is totally unacceptable! We are meant to be our children's first and constant teachers as parents. One effective way to teach and train our children is by giving them instructions. We as parents must learn to consciously give our children instructions concerning every area of their lives. Instruction on when to go to bed, how to operate simple equipment at home, instructions on how to make decisions, use of their device, gadgets etc. These instructions will guide them in the long run while we seat at the back stage if we are able to do this properly
There are notions and ideas we need to unlearn as 21st century parents that wants to be willing. We should not expect to raise our children the way we were raised. The centuries are far apart! I will like to share some tools required to becoming intentional parents in the 21st century
1. Knowledge - This is the first step. Acquiring wisdom and being able to apply the wisdom. Most often parents feel that parenting is by intuition. I beg to defer, parenting is by learning. We learn to be parents. If I may ask how many of us has ever read a book on parenting? We usually think we can just parent by default! You get trained to be a professional, in the same way you must get trained to be an intentional parent. Read some books on the subject, attend workshops and seminars, go online and subscribe to some free parenting tools, listen to pod casts, messages etc. This would enrich your knowledge and expand your horizons. I can testify to this myself
2. Differentiated Approach - You don't handle all children the same way. If you are a teacher, them you would understand this. Children are unique. Each child must be raised according to his or her age, gender, personality, character trait etc. It is not right to use one size fits all approach in dealing with our children. This is why you need to know and understand your children, their different needs and abilities. This would help you vary approach to parenting on each child
3. Modelling - Please lets learn to model the right habit, character, language, culture to our children. They learn fast by this
4. Grit- keep on, stay on task even when it is not easy. As parents we have to be resilient! We must brace up. We should not give up on any child no matter how difficult it might be. Parenting can be likened to a marathon race and not a sprint! So put on you racing shoes and keep at it
5. Spiritual Support - This is my last point and it one of the most important ingredient to becoming intentional parents. Praying for our children. We should learn to pray for our children's present and future! I have scriptural passages I pray on my children everyday. I establish a personal contact with them while I pray or lay hands on my womb as a point of contact when there are not around me. Rather than grumble, nag, complain or cry over a sick child or a child who isn't doing well, learn to pray for that child and make positive confession over them all the time
UNDERSTANDING THE FINANCIAL BLUEPRINT OF YOUR SPOUSE
AND HOW TO CREATE A BALANCE
SUNDAY JULY 11TH ,2022 BY PASTOR SAMUEL PAUL
We all as married people in this group know that money is very essential in marriage.
And the lack of it, or mismanagement of it can bring about serious problem in marriage.
So we need to understand that, each and everyone one of us has different financial mindset or money blueprint different from another
Your money blueprint is different from mine.
And if we don't balance it up, we can't get along as long as we need to keep using money
Have you discover that, when there was no money in marriage, there was problem, but when the money when the money came also, instead of the problem to stop, sometimes it increases the problem.
What is money blueprint and how is it formed???
Money blueprint is your present program or mindset, or way of thinking in relation to money.
It has to do with the way you see money and relates with money.
Your financial or money blueprint consist of your thoughts, your feelings, your actions and information you have about money and how it affects your use of money
Your financial blueprint consist of the information and experience you have, both of the past and present and most especially as a young child In relation to money.
Your primary sources of money blueprint are your siblings, friends, teachers, authority, religious leaders, media l, culture etc.
Every child is thought how to think about and act in relation to money. This is true for me, you and everyone in this group
We are conditioned or programmed through 3 major ways in every area of our lives including money.
1. Verbal conditioning.
2. Modeling conditioning
3. Experience or specific conditioning.
1. Verbal conditioning. ---It means What did you hear about Money, wealth, and rich people when you where young and growing up
Did you hear, things like, money is the root of all evil?
Save your money for the rainy days,
Rich people are bad
You have to work hard to make money,
Money does not bring happiness
The rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer etc.
2. Modelling conditioning. ---What did you see, in relation to money and how people acted with money???
What where your parents PR guardians like in the arena of money when you where growing up???
Did one or both of them manage money well, or did either or both mismanage there money ??
Where they spenders or savers?
Where they investors or non investors?
Where they risk takers or conservative?
Was money constantly flowing or more sporadic?
Did money come easily or was it by struggle?
Listen to this one
#was money a source of joy, in the house or the cause of bitter and arguments???
The above modeling question and examples it to help you fetch from the old saying
" the apple does not fall too far from the tree"
Hope you understand the idiom
Let me streamline it to marriage
Let me use myself as a good example.
When I got married, I discovered that my money blueprint was totally, I mean totally different from that of my wife.
I mean it . Because we started having serious problem and I knew, I was going to be in big problem.
I had passion and mindset of business and investment, but she just wanted the class of collect salary, spend it for the month and we expect another salary.
In fact she told me she did not like business.
So she was not an Investor
So when money comes, she wants to buy things, clothes, go to visit her people and all of that, while, me I will be thinking of how I can invest in business.
Do you know, she will be the first to even begin to put fear in my mind about the business I want to do, like what if the business fails, what If it does not work, what if the person is a thief, what if, what ifs
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN THE FAMILY BY MR DAMOLA LADIPO , SUNDAY JULY 24TH , 2022
What is Communication?
It is the process of sending messages;signs,codes etc in a form/mode(direct, indirect, encrypted) from a sender In an acceptable mode to an intended recipient.
Then what is Effective Communication?
Effective Communication is when the message(information) has been processed and a feedback is gotten from the recipient.
The feedback may however not only be in the form of a direct message but outputs,actions,deeper affection,and results within the ambit of the home or family.
Communication needs to be on going till the desired feedback or result is gotten .
Modes of Communicating Effectively.
1) Direct Messages
2) Body Languages
3) Signs,Gestures
How to communicate effectively with your family?
1) Schedule family time
2) Eat Meals together
3) Be an active Listener(to your kids)
4) Fix the problem,do not try to fix each other.....,there is no perfect system
5) Show kindness and appreciation
6) Stay Connected through technology.
Communication in the family is central to it's existence because it enables members; husband,wife,children to express their needs and concerns to each other
Effective Communication is achieved when there is open and honest communication;and this helps family members express their love and admiration for one another
In every endeavor/facet of our relationships/marriages,satisfying the needs of the other person(your partner) is a way of communicating effectively...this sounds deep.
Mind you..what we are taking about here is satisfaction within the limits of our capabilities"
For example,your spouse might want you to dress well and look beautiful;very attractive..a honest and permissible intention
However,when it is now being done/taken to the extreme; dressing to kill;I gonna slay them (that slaying is for indoor..for your husband alone ma) and going the way of city girls in our dressing particularly for big occasions/decent gathering) exposes us the more and consequently a bad perception and unintended recipient gets the message....which could cause something unpleasant.
Effective Communication can never be one sided ..
It is impossible
Even in the spiritual being,you are talking with someone in the subconscious or the holy spirit .
Communication is a two way thing;in the physical,metaphysical,spirit realm..
Our thought processes that leads to informed decisions are products of effective communication within our minds.