This is only one of the many missing flyers that had went out about my daughter. In the many months that she was missing. During these months I can say as a mother I felt so alone as I was not getting any returned calls from police in SLC. I was doing the detective work myself to find her. If you have a child that is missing never give up hope. Never stop looking.
I can tell you that things have not been easy since my daughter has been found at all. We have been through many challenges and it is on a daily. She was found in a trafficking ring in another state. This has caused a whole new set of mental issues along with a whole new set of drug addiction. When I say that every day is a battle I truly mean it is a battle. She feels guilt for being found and her friend is still missing, She feels guilt for all that she witnessed and during the time that she was trying to stay alive herself she didn't speak up for the other kids. It is a battle each and every day to go in public if she hears children scream or cry causing us to leave. People think that human trafficking only happens in other countries and states. Folks I'm here to tell you that it is happening in our own backyards and by our kids friends. Wake up! These kids are having so much happen to them and you are so busy with the every day life to notice.
As my daughter feels like she can share her side we will also share her views. We will also be listing items for sale that my daughter has made with her artistic abilities to help other victims that have been trafficked along with adding to the funds to help find her friend that is still missing. We hope that through hearing her story that it can help raise awareness for other teens to take this serious and protect yourself and your friends.
If you have a missing child then you know exactly how true the words they are not invisible are. I cant tell you how many times I would see someone walking down the road and I would circle the block not once or twice but three or four times just to make sure it was not her. I still do it if I see someone that may look like her friend that is still missing. If you see a missing flyer take a moment a look at those photos. Dont just walk past them. I can tell you that at a time I was angry every time I saw them and I didn't want to look at them. I wanted to know what had to happen for the photo to be paced in Walmart. My photo was denied to put up. I can tell you as a parent of a missing child you will get all kinds of advice from tons of people on what you should do or how to do it. Just know from someone that has been in that spot take it with a grain of salt. I came up with this statement for those with words of wisdom. Thank you for thinking of us in this time. I know that you care about us but at this time my head is so full other concerns maybe we can have this chat at a later time. I do have some flyers I need to hand out if you would like to help. If you need help with something else replace it with that. I found that in this day in age everyone has so much that they would do and say about the situation and everyone is so full of judgement. They really don't know what they would do until it happens to them. Just know they care and that is why they are taking the time out for you. Also take time for yourself let the emotions go. It is ok to be angry, sad, scared and just plain pissed... I know I was and I'm sure that at times I was not the most pleasent to be around either. The best advise I can give though is be your own detective and dont let any rock go unturned. Turn in every lead that you can and ride the police all you can. Be the biggest pest to the childs friends.
My daughter with her good friend Ryan Stream
The eyes will never lie
Here we go!
My daughter has always had what I like to call happy feet. She has always been on the go since she was a little girl. Wanting to help others and never wanting to stay in one place for to long. She struggles with mental health issues before all this happened. This made her an easy target and still to this day it has played a huge role in her problems with life's struggles. Between picking friends that are not any good to making choices that serve her the best.
Lets jump right in. I know that she has been very guarded with a lot of the details of what has happened due to not wanting to hurt me with horror she has lived through. I myself in the last few years have felt like we live a Lifetime movie with all of the drama from day to day.
The day that she went missing she was in a center in SLC for mental health for youth. I got the call about 9 pm that she had ran away from the center. I felt so helpless. Do I head to salt lake and help look do I stay home incase she was trying to get home? Was she still upset for us putting her in the center. Although it was not my call it was the courts call from her getting into trouble with the friends she had been hanging out with. She had been battling depression and ran away from home multiple times and the last time she did she was found up the canyon with a gun to her head. My husband at the time talked me into waiting at home and contacting her friends like I always did each time she took off. I got the same response from all of them like I normally did with smart ass remarks and telling me how to be a parent from other teens. minutes turned into hours, days, weeks and then months. What I can tell you about this time is that I asked for an amber alert and I was denied that. They refused due to the fact that she had ran away before. I was not approved for a missing flyer for a couple weeks. unlike the time before that took even longer. With that being said I felt so alone passing out her flyer all alone and printing them off and passing them out. My husband posted it all over social media. I can tell you that the it was by the grace of God that she had a nonworking phone that was able to make a post on snapchat with a photo of her in a bathroom with a location of another state. A family friend saw this post and contacted us. When I called the local police for that state I was called back by another female officer that had told me to contact the police over her case. As I begged her to please listen since the police over her case did nothing as of yet. She had me text her the missing flyer and she posted on the facebook page in the community. In 30 minutes it was on the news and within an hour they had my daughter listed as one of the most wanted in that state. 10 hours later they had enough leads and tips that lead them to a town that was 9 hours away from us. When they went to the home they could not enter due to not having a warrant. They had enough that a judge was woken up and a warrant was issued. When they returned that night my daughter was found locked in a closet. She was placed in a safe house and was very protected with a socialworker and an officer. Please keep in mind some details are not placed on this page to not only protect my daughter but some details are very personal and still cause triggers. It may also be traumatizing to others as well. My daughter was drugged and took several hours before I was even notified that she was safe. This was due to them having to make sure that I was not part of the ring.
The first phone that we got to have with her was I don't even really know how to put words to all the emotions that I felt in that moment. We all cried that was for sure I can recall she kept saying how sorry she was. She felt so bad and that she just wanted to come home. When could she come home. She missed us she loved us. We kept telling her that she had nothing to be sorry for that she was ok that it was going to be ok. She was safe and that was all that mattered that we would get to her as soon as we could. She was scared and you could hear the fear in her voice as she talked and she said she had no idea where she was. She told us that she had a puppy that they allowed her to keep and that it was in puppy jail and his name was Harry. He must be so scared. She begged us to get him out of jail. She told us how the puppy had saved her life on multiple occasions. At this point I could not believe the things she was telling us and was questioning was she telling stories? She talked about having her head submerged in the bath tube until she lost consciousness. She can recall waking on the bathroom floor and waking to Harry licking her face. While she came to she heard two males arguing about how it was not her time to go yet as she looked up at the figures she recalled the two men. Her grandfather and very close friend/ like a father figure. Keep in mind they have both passed away. She told me that she knew she had passed over and that they brought her back. She stopped with then telling me that she felt like she had something inside of her like acid that burning her from the inside. She asked if that was possible and asked me what could burn so bad? She was still crying. As I was still nine hours away. I was trying to talk to the care taker over the safe house and get my daughter the medical help she needed. All I could think is she has drug balloons in her and one has popped. As I argued with the lady on the phone that she needed to get an ER. Not understanding that my daughter had to have a police escort even with an ambulance. They did finally get her to the hospital. Thank you lifetime TV for educating me on the signs of a drug balloon. My daughter had to have banana and other medical attention to have these removed from her. While my daughter being young and still under the influnce of the drugs she saw one of the balloons and thought she was pregnant. My heart goes out to the rad tech and social worker. Trevor was amazing with her. They had to talk her off a ledge. They had to show her that it had no heart beat, no body, nothing that a baby has and that it was not a baby. At times still to this day I still think that with drugs I feel that she may still think that she had a baby that night and not a drug balloon.
Her journey back home was escorted by the police and it felt like it took years until I got the call that she made it back into Utah to the detention center. I hated that she had to go to detention and not home. I wanted to hold my baby girl so badly. Keep in mind that after she was found that we had to prove she was our daughter through the court system and then we had so many hours along with the state of Utah to arrange the transport with the police. With the ring they had no idea at that time how big it really was. From my understanding they highway patrol follow the transport van from county to county to protect her from any sort of harm. While she was in the detention in the other state she was telling me of a spot on her foot that she had reported to the staff that was hurting. She believed that she had a tracking device that had been placed in her foot. The staff did not believe her due to not being educated to the situation. She was so scared that the traffickers would find her that what ever was placed in her foot she dug the object out of her own foot and flushed it down the toilet. To my amazement the first time I got to really see her and touch her she showed me the spot on her foot. What was left was a square looking indent scar freshly healed. It was very obvious that something had been placed in her foot and been removed. How she had taken this device out on her own and not got an infection still befalls me. I question this all the time. How did they place in her and what was it?
Once she was back it was decided that she needed to go to rehab. She went for several months and was in a girls home that was again several hours away. After having her gone for several months and now having her gone again my heart was shattered. I think I became one of the best actresses ever. If an award could of been given let me tell you what I won it. Only getting to talk to her twice a week and maybe getting to see her every other week for four to six hours. This momma was not handling it very well. From everyone on the outside I had it all put together and my life was doing well. I can be honest I was not doing as well as I thought. any time a car drove by at night and the light would shine in the window and wake me a I would jump out of bed to check and see if it was stopping or slowing down I had my camera ready to snap a picture incase we might need it at a later date. Me and my husband hardly talked and if it was about her it was normally fighting and ended with doors slamming. The day finally came that I got to travel down and see her.
Our first visit I was so excited to see her I couldnt stand it. I was so disappointed that her dad had to work and was not able to come with me. I felt like it was me and her on a team of our own against the world. Me and my bug. I remember walking in the girls home and thinking oh my gosh are you joking? Is this really a state ran facility? Who approved this facility? If it was for an elderly person the place would be closed. I went in the bathroom to use the toilet and i thought it was worse than a truck stop. As I hoovered the toilet and looked around at all the issues and started to click photos it took all that I had to hold the tears back along with hold the momma bear inside that wanted to tear into these workers. As we got in the car my daughter asked me in surprise how I liked the house? I told her I loved the fresh bread being cooked. She said honestly mom I know you saw that bathroom tub and the black in the walls, the mold in the mirror and on the back of the door. I told he yes I did but that I was being positive about it and trying to look at the other better qualities the home had. Like all her new friends. I didn't want to bring bad energy, however I did take photos and was going to bring it up to the case manager. She said oh good cause I hoover the toilet when I pee.. Mother like daughter what can I say. After having to fight for ever step of the way with the home for my daughters healthcare. We found out that a rape kit was never done wen they took her to the hospital when she was found. They never did any other kind of exam to make sure that she was ok. Can I say how mad and disappointed once again I was in our system. Damn you law N order you let me down as well this is not how it really works same with Chicago PD. We need to have this in real life. I guess in a perfect world maybe that is how it works but not in my world. She finally got to come home. Home at last and things started to happen again. She wanted to have all the privileges like if nothing happened. I can tell you that with your child just getting home and with the past history I was worse that a first time momma and a newborn baby with anxiety. I would go to the store with her and if I turned around and could not see her it was full on panic mode. I was ready to call the national gaurd. I think I might even have them on speed dial. Just teasing I really don't Point being I didn't let her really do anything with out me. She took off again in the middle of the night. Once again she was gone. No amber alert no real help from the police. I can tell you that in our home town we had once officer that was helpful and it was the school officer. She was an awesome cop that truly cared about my daughter. from the leads and help of her friends she was tracked and got the grand welcoming to Nashville.
Later we found out that she left to go rescue one of the girls that she had been in the girls home with that had moved and was tellig my daughter untrue stories. My daughter was worried about her friend and thought she was being abused. They went on a rescue mission her and two other kids to travel half way across the states. leave it up to teenagers to save the world along with not being rational.
Once we got back from Nashville this was the final straw for my marriage and we separated. My daughter was doing very well for some with her mental health and her addiction until she started to date a guy that was not a healthy relationship and her therapist was not listening to her about how her meds was making er feel. My daughter got upset and stopped her meds at this point she started to self medicate. Her councilor had her own judgments. Telling her that she would always have criminal indices. This was very upsetting to my daughter with her disabilities she thought it meant she was a criminal.
No matter how hard we tried to talk her out of this she said its in my chart mom. I was diagnosed. Once again I feel like my daughter was let down by the people that are supposed to help her an protect her. She started to spiral out of control with her addiction and her behaviors. She was loosing her friends left and right. The new friends that she began to make just brought her deeper and deeper into the game. I say game but I mean into the drugs and the darkness. She has struggled to keep her head up with living on the streets and with battling her self. She fights each day now with her addiction and the demons of the past. She suffers from depression, anxiety, PTSD,
Bipolar disorder, multiple personality disorder and night terrors. This has led to her getting into trouble with the law for possession of a substance and other charges to supply her addiction. We have watched a television show that is so fitting and explains my daughter very well. It is called " four good days"
Mental illness is real. She has tried to take her life multiple times and we have to have a close relationship with her friends and hop that she introduces us with her friends so that we can explain to them her behaviors and what she is dealing with in hopes that they are good people and will help look out for her. This brings me to my next point I can not stress enough with the younger kids how important the buddy program is.
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Take some time and look over all the products that we have to offer. Some of the products Ry has made herself.