Can Hypnotherapy Help With Jealousy?

There's no doubt about it, jealousy can tear a relationship apart.

If you're wondering how to deal with jealousy and anxiety in a relationship, hang in there. I'm talking about jealousy and anxiety together because they are really the same thing. They both stem from fear.

There's two types of anxieties which are really intertwined in a relationship. One is the anxiety about whether they love you and the other is the anxiety about whether they're going to leave you.

In order to lose your jealousy and anxiety you really have to understand what's behind it and what's causing it.

The first fear is the anxiety about whether someone loves you or not. We are always trying to convince ourselves that someone love us. There's a fundamental truth that nobody wants to admit. The truth is you truly won't know whether someone loves you in the way that you expect or will continue to love you in that way.

There's no way to verify and prove the love. You can't hold it in your hand. Love is a concept. It's a narrative (healthy or unhealthy) we play in our head. If it were real and tangible, you wouldn't have to worry about if you have love, it would just be. Because it is not tangible, some people feel the need to have it reaffirmed constantly. Someone's actions constantly seems to verify whether they love you or not.

Envy Masks The Fear of Not Being Good Enough

The only reason why you fear that someone will stop loving you is because you believe if someone loves you then you are worthy. You are okay and lovable. But if someone decides to leave you, that somehow equates to being unlovable, insufficient, there's something wrong with you.

Being free from jealousy and suffering means that recognizing who you are has nothing to do with whether they love you or not.

If someone loves a song, does that mean that song is better than all other songs? No.

If someone loves you, does that mean you are better than anyone else? No.

This means if someone no longer loves you, there is nothing wrong with you. No one else is better or worse. Love happens because there is a commonality. But situations change. Preferences change. People change. And it doesn't mean you are no longer valuable. You are just no longer a fit.

You need to stop believing the idea that someone's love means you're worthy, good, special, loveable or anything else. You can and are all those things without being in a relationship with someone.

Jealousy and Fear of Abandonment

The second part of jealousy / anxiety is about being afraid to lose someone. Say you want to stay in a relationship with someone more than anything else, the reality is that's not true.

What are the most important things in life? Is it peace, happiness, joy, and fulfillment? Would you rather stay in a relationship but have insecurities and jealousy about yourself, your looks, your personality, your job?

Or end the relationship and be in peace and joy in every moment? You'll never have anxiety and never have worry, or guilt again ...

We should always want happiness more than we want someone else. Think about this... you may really want to eat cake. But really, you want to pleasure that you think eating cake will give you.

When you want to be in a relationship more than anything else, you believe that person or relationship is the way for you to be happy. Until you discover what you really want is happiness, then you're going to have anxiety about losing someone.

You don't feel someone's love, you feel the story you've created about love or that person. How you feel has nothing to do with their love because you don't feel it. You only feel what thoughts are going on about their love.

This explains why someone can be so much in love and think their relationship is great, until they see secret text messages to another person. In an instant, they are faced with the reality they are being cheated on. In less than a minute, they went from feeling happy to feeling hurt and angry. It's a narrative in their head. And we all have it to a certain degree.

We've all loved someone that has a lot of baggage. But loving them did not get rid of their suffering other than momentarily, right?

If you recognize that you want happiness more than you want to stay in the relationship, I can discover what really makes you happy through hypnotherapy. I can help you let go of anxiety and your fears.

Distraction From Anxiety

One of the biggest things someone brings to our lives is a distraction. When you're distracted from your thoughts, you're happy no matter what's going on in your life. A relationship is one means to do that for you.

On top of that, the reason why you like the relationship is because when he or she calls you, smiles at you, when they touch you, or give you a gift, you get to tell a story of their love in your mind. It means you're acceptable and okay. Now, none of this is conscious but it creates this feeling of pleasure and we are addicted to feelings of pleasure.

Life can be really hard and sometimes we cling to those little moments of pleasure and ignore all the pain we are enduring in the process. You can't believe your thoughts about a relationship and be happy.

A relationship can't delete the thoughts in your head. Your happiness is not dependent on staying in a relationship. It may be hard right after a breakup. You may cry and mourn. But you WILL be happy again because happiness is not that person. Happiness is you.

When you realize this there's nothing to have anxiety or jealousy about. You don't have to fear an outcome. You don't need to fear whether they love you or not . Their love doesn't mean anything about who or what you are.

None of this means you can't be in a relationship with the love of your life. Changing the way you think about a relationship will compltely change the dynamics and your realtionship.

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