So much goes on behind the scenes of a wedding that most people have no idea about. A wedding day is much, much more than the lovely bride and groom getting up there and saying "I do," eating and having the dance party of their lives – there's also the flowers, a very detailed schedule for the events of the day, and probably the MOST important thing: making sure the wedding rings get to the altar smoothly.
I'm a very new wedding planner fresh out of college with a public relations degree and the biggest passion for organization, weddings and practically anything pretty and pink. I somehow managed to land my dream job as a wedding planner under one of the all-time best planners in Oklahoma. I was able to dive right in and help assist brides in planning their dream day from day one in the office.
As much as I wish I was making this up, the first couple I ever worked with somehow managed to bring a wedding legend to life. Since the beginning of my wedding planning journey I've known about the importance of wedding rings on the day of and making sure they get to the altar as smoothly as possible. Every planner I came into contact with in my training process never wavered on the oh-so careful placement and handling of the rings – giving me tips to either handle the rings myself or signaling out specific members of the wedding party to be in charge of them all day – and I never quite knew why until the first wedding I planned by myself.
There is one wedding legend I was vicariously told about through a string of vendors, stating that if the ring is dropped before or during the ceremony, the marriage will become inharmonious, or even worse, the bridal party that drops the ring will be the first to die. And, no, that's not how this story ends, thankfully. The wedding ring is truly the most symbolic thing when it comes to marriage – it signifies the never-ending love a couple shares. The legends surrounding wedding rings used to make me chuckle until I saw the effects of them play out after this wedding. While I'm not a believer in myths or legends, you can bet that this wedding legend is one I have taken SO seriously in the weddings I've planned since.
It was quite possibly the prettiest August day in Oklahoma I've ever experienced. The bride and I had spent an uncountable number of hours planning her modern yet vintage style wedding at the absolutely beautiful Sorelle – The Meadows on Deer Creek wedding venue complete with boho accents and the most moody ambiance that made the day a complete dream. The ceremony was set to happen at five in the afternoon, right as the perfect golden hour lighting would be happening to give their outdoor ceremony perfect dappled lighting under towering oak trees.
Throughout the planning process, I stressed to her the importance of the rings and we worked through the plan for how the rings would be handled that day. While I wanted to handle the rings myself, the bride insisted on one of the bridesmaids watching the rings throughout the day. She wanted a close friend to watch one of the most important things to her on her special day.
The wedding day started when the bride and her bridesmaids arrived to the venue at nine that morning to get ready for all that the day held – they started with hair and makeup, popped a glass of champagne and then headed out to the lush courtyard to do photos. Noon is when the vendors started to arrive – decor and rentals first, of course, followed by the florals and then the amazing cake. Guests started arriving around four in the afternoon and enjoyed the beautiful 70 degree day out on the lawn, playing yard games and getting a drink before the ceremony.
The behind-the-scenes of a wedding is mass chaos, and between juggling the schedule, vendors and each of the wedding parties, the rings seemed to be the last thing on my mind.
As the bride had requested, I asked a bridesmaid that day to watch the rings for the bride and to make sure they got to the ring bearer and then up to the couple at the altar. I stressed to her the importance of making sure the rings did not get dropped or lost before the ceremony. The bride trusted her, so I had no reason not to, right? What the bridesmaid never told me, until recently, was that in the hustle-and-bustle of the schedule of the day, she dropped her friend's wedding ring when they were heading outside to do bridal party pictures. Without even thinking about it, she picked up the ring and went on with the events of the day not knowing the significance of what had just happened.
The rest of the evening continued right on schedule – the ceremony was flawless, the catering was exquisite and the dance party that lasted late into the evening was the party of the year! You would have never known what was going to come from simply dropping a wedding ring.
I just recently came to find out that the couple was getting a divorce. I wondered to myself, "How could this happen? They were without-a-doubt one of the best couples I've ever worked with." Then, I remembered the bridesmaid and the ring, thinking that that was the "soul" reason for this couple splitting up.
Looking back at that day, I can't help but wonder if there was anything I could have done differently. Should I have gone against the bride's wishes and kept the rings? Should I have chosen a different bridesmaid? I sometimes can't help but feel guilty for the separation of this couple – they trusted me with every detail of their day, and in the craziness, I seemed to have lost sight of the most important thing: making sure they lasted.
Author's Note: This fictional story was taken from a wedding urban legend about what happens when you drop the wedding ring either before or during the ceremony. The urban legend says that, "According to superstition, the groom must pay special attention to the handling of the rings on the wedding day. If a ring falls, the marriage could become inharmonious. Even worse, according to another myth, if the groom drops the wedding rings, he will probably be the first to die." For my story, I took the legend and centered it on one of the bridesmaids dropping the ring and the marriage ending instead of a party dying (which would be terrible, even for a fictional story). I wanted to write the story from the perspective of their wedding planner, because wedding planners are supposed to be on top of all the tiny details of the wedding day and would have known if anything with the rings happened – but this story is from the perspective of a new wedding planner that made a mistake she didn't even know about. I wanted to illustrate the power of the legend and make it seem like a real story (even though it's not, I promise!). I hope you enjoyed it!
Cover photo of rings – Taken by Coco Tafoya on Unsplash
Story based off of legends taken from Snopes.com, "Wedding Rings," and from Baunat.com "Superstitions about Marriage"