Atheists Quoting the Bible: Short-Circuit 

a Christian's Brain in Two Easy Steps

Oh no, an atheist is quoting the Bible to expose Christianity’s nonsense? Quick, fellow believers, distract them with claims of "that's not true Christianity" because nothing says I have a defensible belief system like denying what's written in your own holy book.

Welcome, heathens, skeptics, and recovering Bible thumpers to the official Secular Strike Back blog, where we dismantle Christian delusions with more scripture than most pastors have ever read.

Today, we're tackling two of Christians' favorite excuses when called out on their nonsense, along with a bonus discussion on why quoting their holy book back at them produces the same result as showing a youth pastor a science museum.

Excuse #1: "You Just Misunderstood the Bible"

Translation: "You read it correctly, and I don't like what it says."

Excuse #2: "That's Not Real Christianity"

Translation: "My version of make-believe is the correct make-believe."

The “No True Scotsman” Gambit

The "No True Scotsman" fallacy—the Christian’s favorite cop-out when their beliefs get roasted with their own scripture.

Let’s run a quick scenario. Say I point out that Christianity is fundamentally misogynistic because Paul explicitly says women must submit to their husbands, stay silent in church, and that men are the head of the household.

The apologist replies: "Oh, that’s not real Christianity. That's just Calvinist, Catholic, Reformed, Evangelical, Baptist, or whatever specific christian denomination label I need to slap on it to distance myself from it."

[Laughter]

News flash, folks: If it's in the Bible, it is Christianity. Period.

I grew up a fundamental Baptist—the kind of Christianity that takes the Bible way too seriously. And guess what? The Baptists were right about one thing: they do follow the Bible more closely than your average lukewarm, latte-sipping Christian who thinks Jesus was just a socialist hippie.

But the moment you dare quote Paul’s sexist rants, two things happen to shut me up:

1. The Misogynist Quote: I get a man quoting 1 Timothy 2:12 directly at me when they want me to shut up.

2. The Dodging Quote: I mention the misogyny, and suddenly: "Oh, that's just Paul's personal opinion."

   • Me (thinking): Cool. So, the Bible is fallible. Great. Now we're getting somewhere.

3. The Cultural Card: "That was just for that culture."

   • Me (thinking): Oh, so God's perfect morals change with society. Wow. Almost like they were made up by humans.

Christians love quoting the Bible until atheists do it.

Where is the Free Will? (A Lesson in Biblical Contradictions)

Christians swear God gave us freewill. But the Bible clearly says otherwise. This is where the bible contradictions really shine. You are told you have a choice, but the text insists you are predestined.

We can go through these verses again, and I bet I’ll still get Christians claiming I’m wrong, even though I’m quoting their own passages:

• Romans 9:18: "God has mercy on whom he wants to harden and he hardens whom he wants." (AKA: A puppet master God.)

• Ephesians 1:4-5: "He chose us before the creation of the world, predestined us for adoption."

Free will? Where?

And here’s a truly terrifying one, one that proves God creates evil for his own cosmic drama:

• Proverbs 16:4: "The Lord has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked, for a day of disaster." Yikes!

But the moment I point this out, they scream: "Oh, that's just Calvinism! You are confusing biblical misconceptions with true christianity!"

This is my internal monologue when they pull that move: "Oh, so the parts of the Bible you don’t like are just one denomination’s fault? Then why is it still in your holy book?"

It's almost like Christianity is a "pick-and-mix" religion, where everyone ignores the parts they don't like and then engages in gaslighting when you point out their hypocrisy.

The Mental Gymnastics Gold Medalists

The mental gymnastics Christians pull to avoid admitting their faith is flawed deserve a gold medal. Here are two typical scenarios:

Scenario 1: Misogyny vs. "Different Roles"

• Me: "The Bible says women must submit to their husbands. That's misogyny."

• Christian: "No, it's just different roles."

• Me: "Oh, the role of being inferior. Got it."

Scenario 2: Hell vs. Free Will

• Me: "If God is all-powerful and all-loving, why does hell exist?"

• Christian: "Because he respects your free will."

• Me: "But the Bible says he hardens hearts and predetermines people."

• Christian: [Changes the subject to] "God works in mysterious ways."

Classic Christian debate tactics always follow the same cycle: Cherry pick verses ("Here's an uplifting one"), deny the ugly ones ("That’s not true Christianity"), gaslight ("You just don't understand"), and then change the subject ("But, but, what about atheist morality?").

Conclusion

At the end of the day, here’s the deal: Christianity is false. The Bible contradicts itself. Your personal relationship with Jesus is just emotional conditioning. No, shouting, "That's not true Christianity," doesn't make your fairy tale real.

To my fellow ex-Christians, atheists, and skeptics, I know you have experienced this. What’s the dumbest excuse a Christian gave when you quoted the Bible back at them?

And to any uninvited Christiana reading this, because we know you're lurking: Instead of typing "You just hate God," how about you provide actual evidence for your claims? Spoiler, you can't.

Until next time, stay skeptical, stay free, and keep quoting the Bible better than the Christians do. Peace out, heathens.

Sincerely,

Kim McPhail

Host of Secular Strike Back