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Hello. Welcome to Scitte Industries's Organization Website Landing Page. To best enjoy our products and services, please:

• Scroll down

• Click on some Schitte thing

• Have a chuckle (or get pissed off, because you know somebody is going to complain no matter what you do or say)

• Share the Schitte thing with someone else who'd also get a chuckle (or get pissed off, because it's almost like they kind of enjoy getting pissed off at things)

• Consider spending less time arguing with your loved ones and more time making jokes

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About Schitte Industries

We try not to make it obvious because it's never funny to explain the joke, but since some people are a little thick in the head: Yes, this is all a joke/satire.

But why though?

We make jokes and satires, because we believe that it is a great way to combat one of the biggest threats to our increasingly divided society: alienation.

These days, it's far too common for people around the world to divide themselves into two groups of people, and treat the other group as the 'evil' group that's ruining the society. However, that's not doing any of us any favors. How do you feel when other people shit on what you think is important, and tell you that you are stupid and evil? Doesn't it make you think that their belief is stupid and that they are evil? This keeps going both ways, and we are slowly starting to descend into being monkeys yelling at each other, instead of having productive conversations, and learning to understand each other. Most of us know by now that human relationships thrive on communication and understanding, and die by contempt. Why do we fail to apply it to how we treat our neighbors?

We, as a society, need better ways to have fun conversations, and address topics that are difficult. We need safer  ways to have dissent, and enjoyable ways to explore new perspectives from other people. For centuries, jesters offered this with their jokes and satires.

Not many people had success delivering dissent and criticism to Kings and Queens in their court, but jesters created enjoyable ways for aristocrats to reflect on themselves via different perspectives. Good jesters didn't just shit-talk, nor did they just go for safe laughs. Good satire makes people find joy in reflecting, and seeing a new perspectives. Have you ever had friends or romantic partners who were good at using humor to ease the pang of dealing with conflicts? People whom we've annoyed, but instead of yelling at us, they'll make us laugh about how annoying we were being, or how silly we were being. It made it easy for us to understand what they were seeing. We could use more of that with our neighbors that we disagree with.

The world today could use less divisive yelling and more clever satires. We need better ways to show each other how we feel, and how ridiculous things can seem sometimes.

So we make jokes and satires. Like any good comedian would, we try to punch everyone equally, including ourselves. After all, we don't deserve to make jokes about others if we aren't able to laugh about ourselves.

So you guys aren't [insert a group of people of ideology that you disagree with]? Why would you make [insert a joke or satire we made that made you angry] if you really weren't?

Since our hope is that we all learn to use humor to see everyone else's perspective better, it is important for us to punch everyone equally, including ourselves. I don't know what you inserted in the brackets above, but I promise you, we've been accused of the exact opposite. That's what happens when you make jokes about everyone.

If we made you feel like we hate you, please be assured this is not the case. We apologize for making you feel that way, but please understand that we joke around with our friends because we want to get along with them. If we didn't want to be friends with you, we wouldn't care about you, and we wouldn't bother joking around with you. We are regretful that you didn't enjoy our jokes, but I hope that you'd help us all out by writing better jokes. But please remember:

• Satire should not be about making fun of people out of hatred. We are joking around with our buddies on our lunch table, not bullying others on other lunch tables

• Satire should be about joking around with everyone on the lunch table, not singling anyone out, and making fun of them. We are trying to be better friends here.

• Satire should not be about how cool and smart I am, and showing it off to the lunch table. It's about everyone on the table laughing together.

• Satire should be about creating a fun lunch table where people are different from each other, but are able to laugh with each other.

Whoever you are, I hope you'll join us on our lunch table, and have a fun time laughing with us. We look forward to hearing what funny perspectives you have.