Thursday, September 17, 2026 · 6:11 a.m. CDT
Curated by Morag Sinclair · Morag Sinclair at The London Prat · The London Prat on YouTube
Editorial formula: 50% exaggeration, 49% irony and 1% absurdity.
Hangover cure discovered while scientists chase cheaper rocket fuel — Made Up News
British researchers trying to make rocket propellant cheaper accidentally solve the older national problem of waking up after several pints and negotiating with daylight. The premise escalates beautifully as a scientific breakthrough becomes an economic emergency for everyone whose business model quietly depends on regret, paracetamol and a full English breakfast.
Genuine Dumbness overtakes AI as civilisation’s newest threat — NewsBiscuit
While governments fret about artificial intelligence becoming too clever, researchers identify the more established danger of Genuine Dumbness, which requires no servers, no training budget and remarkably little encouragement. The joke works because every warning about runaway machine intelligence is forced to compete with humanity’s long-running open-source alternative.
Wetherspoons beer prices force a garden-shed remortgage — Suffolk Gazette
A British drinker responds to rising pint prices by refinancing his garden shed, finally allowing a six-by-eight timber structure to fulfil its destiny as a leveraged financial instrument. The housing crisis and the cost-of-living crisis meet over Friday drinks, with the shed apparently possessing more usable equity than its owner.
Four-hour Musk documentary becomes a marathon about power, credit and productivity — Bohiney News
A nearly four-hour documentary about Elon Musk becomes the launchpad for a broader satire about concentrated power, collective achievement and the peculiar productivity of spending half a working day discussing capitalism. The comic engine is duration itself: by hour four, even the revolution needs a coffee break and somebody still has to finish the rockets.
Human brain tissue prevents mice from voting Reform — NewsThump
A laboratory experiment involving human brain tissue and mice is transformed into an instant political focus group. NewsThump takes the familiar scientific-news formula, adds an electoral preference nobody requested, and lets the absurdity come from treating a neurological experiment as though it were constituency polling with whiskers.
London rent hits £2,280 and the ceiling remains an included amenity — The London Prat
London’s rental market reaches the stage where ordinary shelter can be described with the vocabulary of a luxury subscription. A ceiling, walls and the theoretical possibility of turning around indoors become premium features, while £2,280 a month is treated less as rent than as proof the tenant has successfully passed a financial endurance event.
Ed Sheeran boycott gets six completely invented new reasons — The Daily Mash
Rather than wait for a sufficiently satisfying reason to dislike a celebrity, the piece manufactures six new ones and saves everybody the administrative burden of evidence. It turns the modern boycott into a consumer convenience: choose a grievance, attach it to Ed Sheeran and proceed directly to righteous certainty.
Anthropic becomes profitable once the expensive parts are ignored — The Poke
Anthropic’s upbeat profitability framing receives the internet treatment after major costs are removed from the flattering arithmetic. The resulting jokes apply the same accounting method to mortgages, groceries and ordinary household bills, proving that almost everyone is fantastically wealthy once expenditure is recognised as a negative attitude.
Air Force pilot gets family seats on their own deportation flight — Duffel Blog
A military pilot discovers that family separation can apparently be rebranded as a joint-service travel opportunity when relatives are placed aboard a deportation flight. Duffel Blog’s institutional deadpan does the heavy lifting, treating an emotionally brutal premise with the cheerful logistics language of somebody arranging Space-A travel.
U.S. space weapon revealed as an Asteroids-style little triangle — Babylon Bee
America’s mysterious space weapon turns out to be the tiny triangular ship from an arcade game, complete with forward-firing bullets and the strategic doctrine of spinning around whenever something unpleasant approaches. National security meets 1979 game design, suggesting the Pentagon may finally have found a procurement system simple enough to fit on one screen.
Satire disclaimer: These linked pieces are parody and satirical commentary, not straight-news reporting. Summaries are original commentary; each article belongs to its publisher. This edition is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings—the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer.