What Makes me...me?

Scholastic Arts & Writing Silver Key Recipient, 2024

Scroll to see my statement and the pieces that make up this composition!

My artwork explores the complicated relationship between self-identity and the societal pressures that shape it, focusing on the impact of insecurities coming from personal experiences and external influences. To represent my conceptual ideas, I use a fusion of materials and techniques in my piece, a graphite drawing of my face and thread for my eyelashes. The use of graphite gives the picture of my face an authentic, unfiltered feel, accentuating the raw emotions and hardships shown. The use of a straightening iron is a representation of the beauty standards and conformity that have weighed on me. The decision to use thread to exaggerate the length and straightness of my eyelashes adds a comical touch, discreetly teasing the absurdity of the beauty industry. This humor invites viewers to engage with the work on a more accessible and relatable level, encouraging them to consider the pervasive influence of these standards while also finding moments of laughter in their absurdity. I hope that by viewing this piece, audiences would be prompted to think on their own experiences and contemplate the broader implications of societal beauty standards, ultimately developing empathy and understanding.

In my art, I explore the interplay between self-identity and societal pressures, focusing on insecurities stemming from personal experiences. Using graphite and a straightening iron, I create a raw, authentic portrayal of my struggles. Exaggerated eyelashes add humor, highlighting beauty standards' absurdity. I aim to encourage reflection on these standards and foster empathy.

Alter Ego, 01/26/2023

This piece depicts the complications in discovering myself. I incorporated graphite and colored pencil elements to demonstrate a contrast in how I feel versus how I portray myself. The bright neon color adds to the contrast rather than a simple skin tone. I also demonstrated contrast by merging different angles of my face. This was also to create a rounded image of myself. It is called Alter Ego because the two personalities alter between each other. The bright colors may be what I depict on the outside but the inside is how I feel, and vice versa. While they both are very different, they are also both me. And they are all aspects of my rounded personality. I struggle with trying to find out who I am and what my personality is through this piece.

Eye Can't See, 09/26/2023

As I began to discover myself, I started to dive deeper into social media and discover the mean to fit in. I grew up in a predominately white town and school, where mostly everyone had thin straight hair. Seeing as I wanted that to be part of my personality, I decided to start straightening my hair everyday. This piece depicts me straightening my eyelashes. While it's not physically possible to do this, it is to portray the absurdities of beauty standards and the lengths people are willing go to achieve them. This piece tends to more general issues in society, where straight hair was deemed "neat," but with a self portrait to demonstrate my personal experience with this in my journey to discovering who i am and how I wish to be viewed in society,

Look Closely, 11/14/2023

"Look Closely" Process

Looking closely into a mirror, I begin to realize that all these measures I take to somehow completely change myself and fit in made me look very silly. The focal point is the left eye with the false eyelash. After hair, I began to discover makeup and would apply so much just to make myself look like everyone else. I stretch my eye out to deeply investigate myself and realize I look like a clown. I look like someone who is trying too hard, but at the same time it feels like I can’t stop. The mascara tear falling down represents me feeling stuck in this cycle of whether or not I should embrace myself or look more socially acceptable. The framing around me contains traditional patterns in costumes for Bharatnatyam, an Indian classical dance that I had participated in my whole life. For stage performances, we always had to apply heavy makeup and even use foundations that lightened our skin tone to look presentable on stage. We were told that this would make people pay more attention to our dance and take it seriously. I realized that this seeped into my self esteem in all aspects. I felt that in order to be taken seriously anywhere I had to have makeup on and look a certain way. In this piece, I come to a realization of what I am doing, but feel too stuck to break away.

Whispers of Tradition, Shouts of Society, 12/04/2023

The piece unfolds in graphite, capturing me as a Bharatnatyam dancer. Around the hands and feet, vibrant colors and makeup disrupt the monochromatic canvas. This choice symbolizes the clash between cultural expectations within Bharatanatyam and contemporary beauty ideals. The inspiration for this piece comes from my own journey within the dance form, grappling with the pressure to conform. The contrast between graphite and colored pencil symbolizes the tradition and modernity in this piece. This piece was chosen as the last of my portfolio because it ties everything together with my personal experiences. Growing up doing Bharatnatyam, I’ve always been exposed to heavy stage makeup. However, I didn’t notice certain things I was doing to myself to look presentable which affected me in the long run. For example, I wore foundation 5 shades lighter than me. I felt like to look presentable and for my dance to be taken seriously, I had to have lighter skin. The background consists of sheet music for a song bharatnatyam dancers typically dance to at the end of their performance. This is usually combined with another small dance to signify the conclusion of the performance and that the dancer has officially graduated Bharatnatyam. I tinted the papers to seem worn down to give the feel of how old this dance dates back to, as well as the beauty standards.

Thirteen, 11/25/2023

The background of this piece consists of photographs of me from a photo shoot for my Bharatnatyam graduation at age 13. I was one of the youngest people to have completed one. The number 13 in the front is in balloon form with strings coming out of it. This represents the age of thirteen being a huge milestone in my journey to discovering who I am and when I began to fall into these traps of “beauty standards.” This also marks the beginning of adulthood when the word “teen” is added to the end of our age. At this age, I had downloaded my first social media account. At this age, I graduated dance and felt like a woman. At this age, I also discovered that I wanted to change the way I looked and fit in. This number encompasses my entire journey through self-discovery. Everything began when I turned thirteen.

Washed Out, 12/10/2023

These are two of my friends who have also been heavily involved in bharatnatyam from a young age. The entirety of this piece is in graphite while the jewelry is highlighted in color. This is to emphasize the point that this excessive jewelry and dressing up we have to do dulls our natural beauty. We must still smile through anything we are put through in order to put on a good show. I drew other people instead of a self portrait to tie back to the idea of how general these issues can be. Many women in our society face the need to conform to a certain standard and change themselves just to be appreciated and seen. I especially to young south Asian women like myself who are raised with the same traditional ideals but living in America with completely different standards, and having the pressure of needing to conform to both. While it is a personal experience for me, I incorporated others to show how I am not the only one out there. My tradition is very dear to me and I consider bharatnatyam to be a huge part of my identity. In attempts to discover who I am by fitting in, I realize that all these steps taken along the way are what make me..me.

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