A Young girl find's a mysterious stone, as her father turn's to his Mum for help
A phone rings
Hello?
No mum.
No we’re not, we just…
Jesus mum, leave my head on my neck! We just got in, so he’s…
He’s just putting Jess to bed now.
No we…
Jessica and Ethan: Daddy?!
Look, can I call you back?
~
Phone Rings
Hi mum.
I didn’t forget, I just haven’t had the chance. We’re all feeling a little rough at the minute, and Jess is…
Jessica: You can’t catch me you big stinky poo… Poo nose mouth!
(Aside) Jessica, not now, I'm on the phone to m'Ma! Uh…Sorry, Nanny Callhoon. So please behave. Where was I? Yes.
Jess is putting a brave face on it, so she is, but none of us have really been getting any sleep recently.
Holiday? Sure we’re just back! Sure we went to Derry there, we took the scenic route, past… uh… (sighs) Coleraine.
What do you mean Derry’s not a holiday? It was just nice to be somewhere else for a while. Sure, you know yourself…
Colraine is not a shit hole mum! Well I mean, it’s not great, like, but…
No, we all needed a piss, so we stopped at Garvagh. We took a stroll through a field with a Hawthorn tree in it. Yeah it was nice. Jess was collecting stones, but she got stung by the tree and we called it.
For all the crying you’d had though she was murdered, but it was just a wee prick.
Mum!
Look, call me back tomorrow, or I’ll call you. Ok, be safe, love you.
~
Phone Rings
Hello?
What, no I’m still in bed. Jess wasn’t feeling well last night, we took it in shifts looking after her.
No mum, she was pale as christ, massive bags under her eyes. She kept sucking on her finger too, she hasn’t done that since she was todie. Just staring out the window.
Yes I gave her the calpol mum. No mum, you only get the yellow stuff on script, it’s a antiseptodic.
No mum, I am not giving my child bloody Night Nurse. I’m not trying to turn her into a junkie!
Fuck off! Whiskey is just as bad!
SHIT! Is that what time it is? Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
I’ll call you back, so I will.
~
Phone Rings
Hello?
Sorry I didn’t mean to sound short mum.
No! Christ. It’s not you. Jess got a demerit today. Biting. Lunchtime. Lucy from her class. I don’t fuckin’ know!
I asked her, but she’s got this big attitude. Sulky, bored. Must be growing pains.
When Ethan made his risotto this evening she told him it tasted like day old boke. Jesus. Near broke his heart so it did. And sure, wasn’t she the one who said to him about putting more friggin garlic in, in the fuckin’ first place. I know!
Laughing:That is not the word for it mum! Because it’s not! Being a little cunt is not the word! Uhh, I don’t know…uh… wee monster.
Ha!
Listen Ma, I gotta go here, will you remind me to give your man Allan a shout again? Don’t know what it is yet, just wee scratches and scrapes from the ceiling, and under the living room floors. Well I would, but I’m not allowed to use traps. I know that’s exactly what you’d do, that's why I’m not doing it.
Right, love you. Right. Night night.