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Poppy's Promise Parent/Primary Caregiver Social Support

• COMING SOON: Monthly support group meetings for parents/primary caregivers of children receiving services from Poppy's Promise

• Stay tuned for more details!

ND Parent to Parent

• https://fvnd.org/nd-parent-to-parent/

• ND Parents of children with disabilities are matched with a trained supporting parent who also has experience of raising a child with special needs. 

• Parents can expect to receive emotional support, information related to diagnoses and health issues, and resources on local, state, and national levels.

• Interested in receiving support? Click here.

• Interested in becoming a trained parent mentor? Click here.

• Learn more about the program on a national level here.

Article: How to have more meaningful conversations by Lucy Foulkes

1. Recognize small talk as a necessary first step

   • Small talk can provide the foundation for deeper conversation topics

2. Ask better questions

   • Try to think more about the other person and ask them open-ended questions

3. Listen to answers

   • Focus more on what they are saying, rather than what you will say next

4. Be willing to share something about yourself

   • If you are wanting the other person to open up to you, provide them an example. Share something personal about yourself, as this may increase the likelihood of the other person doing the same.

5. Come ready to learn

   • Be open to admitting when you do not know something

6. Be prepared to give and take

   • Ensure both you and the other person have a chance to share and listen

For further explanation of the above tips, click here

Advice/ideas from fellow Poppy's Promise parents/primary caregivers

• I just say what needs to be said to avoid wasting time or risk not saying it at all.

• I am going to make a list of the topics I need to discuss with my spouse. It is my goal to start going through this list at least one night a week, rather than spending those few moments together discussing what happened that day or what is planned for tomorrow.

• Be creative - if you don't ever have alone time with the person you need to talk to, try to think outside the box. For example, try having intentional conversations during a car ride rather than listening to music.

• Simply put, it is very difficult to prioritize enough quality time in order to have an intentional conversation with someone (e.g. significant other). Be patient with yourself and celebrate the little moments and conversations you can have.

• It is not uncommon to be too exhausted to spend time with your significant other/family members at the end of the day. I have found that I am able to be more present to my spouse/family when I can have a few moments to myself during the day. These small moments allow me to recharge enough to have the energy to have a conversation with my spouse in the evening. 

The Conflict Analyzer (PDF)

• https://wellorderedfamily.com/conflict-analyzer/

• Use the link above to be brought to a webpage on the Well-Ordered Family website to have the option to download a conflict analyzer template.

• The template is to be used following a family conflict to facilitate reflection and effective problem-solving.

Training for Conflict Resolution

• https://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/implement/provide-information-enhance-skills/conflict-resolution/main

• The Community Toolbox website provides a training on how to navigate conflict between groups. Even though this is designed for groups, many of the strategies can be effective for conflict between individuals.

• Strategies revolve around the following:

  • How to understand the current conflicting situation

  • How to communicate with person whom the conflict is with

  • How to brainstorm solutions and how to choose among those ideas

  • The benefits of having the option of a mediator and knowing what your alternative options are

  • How to cope with stressful situations that may arise during conflict

Advice/ideas from fellow Poppy's Promise parents/primary caregivers

• Be respectful

• Keep it between just you and the other person

• I am often in fight or flight mode, which puts me in the defensive position. I've learned the benefits of pausing, taking a breath, and then assuming the best of the other person. I think to myself: what is the best way I can interpret what they are communicating? More often than not, they had good intentions.