☺ Parenting Tip #1: Learn to RESPOND thoughtfully rather than to REACT immediately.
☺ Parenting Tip #2: Try to limit sentences to about 10 words or less when speaking to your child.
☺ Parenting Tip #3: Encourage the efforts or behaviors not the results or the product. (“You studied really hard for that spelling test” instead of “Good score!”)
☺ Parenting Tip #4: We all make mistakes as parents, but we can recover. The key is how we handle our mistakes. Be patient and compassionate towards yourself.
☺ Parenting Tip #5: The relationship between a child and a parent/caregiver is of utmost importance. Focus on communicating these unspoken messages through your words and actions: “I am here. I hear you. I understand. I care. I delight in you just because you are YOU!”
☺ Parenting Tip #6: The best way to calm your child is to first calm yourself. When unsure of how to respond to your child, ask yourself, “What action or words will most preserve the relationship or do the least amount of harm?” It is okay to tell your child, “I need to take a break. We can talk about this in 5 minutes.”
“You seem sad.”
“You’re really mad at me right now.”
“You’re proud of your picture.”
“That really surprised you!”
“You really like how that feels on your hands.”
“You really wish that we could play longer.”
“You don’t like the way that turned out.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“You’re wondering what you should do next.”
“You look like you’re scared of that spider.”
“That’s up to you.”
“You can decide.”
“That looks like something you can do yourself.”
“Show me how you want me to help you.”
“You worked hard on that!”
“You did it!”
“You figured it out!”
“You’re really happy with how your picture looks.”
“You’ve got a plan for how you’re going to set those up.”
“You know just how you want that to be.”
“Sounds like you know lots about how to take care of babies.
“You decided to use the yellow one next.”
“You’re working hard to get that lid off.”
“You kept trying until you figured it out.”
“That’s a rough one, but I bet you’ll figure it out. I have confidence in you.”
“Thank you for your help.”
“I appreciate your apology.”
“It took a lot of courage for you to do that.”
“You’re proud of yourself for figuring that out.”
“You really like the way that turned out.”
“Sasha, do you want to wear your red dress or your pink dress to school?”
“Ana, do you want to go outside and play catch or help me bake a cake?”
“Lillian, do you want to use the red toothbrush or the green toothbrush?”
“Isabella, you can have one cookie or two—which do you choose?”
“Oliver, you can choose to have apple juice or orange juice with your medicine—which do you choose?”
“Omar, you can choose to sit in the middle row by Daddy, or you can choose to sit in the back seat with Selin—which do you choose?”
“Jamal, I know you’d like to shoot the dart gun at me, but I’m not for shooting. You can choose to shoot at that (point at something acceptable).”
“Lucy, I know you’re really having fun with that, but the Play-Doh is not for the carpet. You can choose to smash it on the tray or a piece of paper.”
“Gabrielle, I know that you think that would be funny, but my hair is not for glue. You can squeeze glue all over on the paper.”
“Eduardo, I’m not for hitting. I know you’re mad, but people aren’t for hitting. You can hit this pillow.” (pointing to the pillow)
“Landry, I know you are just playing, but my face is not for hitting with the foam sword. You can hit my sword with your sword.”
“Teodora, I know you want to be finished, but we still have 15 minutes left of reading time. After the timer goes off, you can play on your tablet.”
“Olivia, I know you really want to play that, but it’s not game time. It’s movie time! You can choose to walk with me into the movie or you can choose to walk with Daddy and Joey into the movie.”
“Anika, we have 5 minutes left to play on the playground.”
“Anika, we have 1 minute left to play on the playground.”
“Anika, our playground time is over for today.” (Stand up and walk towards the exit. Wait.)
“Anika, I know you would like to stay and play on the playground, but our playground time is over for today.” (Wait. Repeat up to three times if needed.)
“Anika, if you choose to play instead of leaving now, you are choosing to give up television for the rest of the day.”
“Anika, I see that you chose to give up television for the rest of the day.” (Once you have said this, it is the LAW for the day. There are no “second” chances. The child has had 6 chances already.)
Redirect to the next activity and offer a choice between two healthy snacks. “It’s time for snack; would you rather have grapes or cherries today?”