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If You Can't See Risks, Listen Well to People Who Do
Scott Rudin inflicted pain and suffering on people for years without career, financial and legal consequences. It's easy to come to believe it will always be that way. Until it isn't. Until the roof caves in on your name and reputation as well as your career, financial and personal well being. Rudin has no idea of the self-inflicted misery that awaits him.
It was all preventable. Signs were ignored and dismissed. False beliefs set in and corrective measures bypassed.
Workplace Bullying, Like Scott Rudin's, Is Still Legal (yet not free from consequences)
Apologies, Even for Repulsive Behavior, Do Get Accepted at Times
Coming to grips that we are expected to apologize for behavior that is difficult to admit we displayed can be painful. Working through the emotions to offer an apology, more challenging. Offering a quality often proves beyond most people. Yet even when it's not "perfect" or of the highest quality, if it is sincere, humble, remorseful and speaks to all that people want to hear, it can be be accepted as good enough.
In this example, Rep. Tom Reed's apology wasn't perfect yet it resonated with Nicolette Davis and was accepted. That doesn't mean he escapes consequences. It does mean he showed character in his crisis of reputation and can slowly begin to restore or reconstruct credibility, trust, relationships and reputation quality.
Government official walks through the fire of his reputation crisis to apologize
When Defending Yourself, Consider What People are Hearing You Say
It's hurtful or painful to be judged and criticized, especially if we believe that criticism doesn't align with who we believe ourselves to be. If we begin to defend ourselves, it is critically important to think about how our words will be received by our critics. Think first. Think deeply. It matters. So much damage gets done after the initial reputation dispute, conflict, scandal and crisis by the insensitive or foolish words we say, either being clumsy or arrogant. Focusing most on where our thinking, impulses and behavior fell short, showing remorse, social awareness and empathy is far better than rigidly defending ourselves without the aforementioned characteristics.
Trainer who was photographed sitting on a dead horse cannot run horses in Britain
Seek Feedback to See What We Can't for Better Decision-Making
"Look, it was obviously a mistake and in hindsight I wouldn't have done it." (Ted Cruz)
I believe him. Yet couldn't Cruz have avoided putting himself in a public relations predicament that has people passionately calling for him to resign for dereliction of duty by merely asking trusted advisors if there was risk in what he was about to do?
Cruz clearly wasn't conducting forward thinking and from the looks of it, didn't seek what could have proven to be invaluable, wise, protective advisory. Lesson learned.
It will be painfully difficult in the minds of many -- media and public (and grandstanding government officials) -- for Cruz to now change the narrative about his character and leadership competency.
Don't Turn a Blind Eye to the Evidence; the Abuse is not New
You can tell a lot about a person in authority and power by how they react and respond to stress. When authority reverts to tactics of intimidation and threats to instill fear in an effort to protect themselves, shut people down, control them and continue wrongdoing, that speaks volumes to their low-level character, rejection of self control and shameful ethics.
An indifference to morally-driven governance is a choice and a reckless decision and poor risk management.
When this behavior of intimidation and threats happens, whether clear or inferred, you can confidently bet that a lack of prior consequences or weak ones, both enabling abuse of power, that it "isn't the first time."
This increases the likelihood of continued abuse, damage to other people and good name (reputation), scandals (personal and organizational), crisis, misery and in many cases, coverups and job loss.
Not all crisis becomes a media event and public relations nightmare either, yet the damage can be severe.
When people get exposed and the media, public and all stakeholders take notice, damage accelerates rapidly. Better to not self deceive or look away. Best to morally, responsibly, assertively address problems now.
Cuomo said he could 'destroy me.'
Blind Spots, Stress Response and Recklessness in Leadership
Mark Zuckerberg is either not who you think he is or he's exactly like you believe him to be. It's a pattern that this hyper-competitive success story disdains ethics and worse, being questioned about it and the governance of Facebook. Blind and reckless. Risk management, where?
Zuckerberg is still in need of personal development. He remains caught in self deception.
Optics and Decision Quality
"Optics" play a big role in how people think, decide and act. Why? Reputation concerns and job security. Worthy of empathy, but a problem; one that happens more often than you might realize. The "right" thing doesn't transpire because of self preservation, doubt, fear or anxiety and decisions become binary ones.
When pleading for immediate National Guard assistance while a mob stormed the Capitol, the Capitol Police chief says an Army representative told him, “I don't like the optics of National Guard standing in line with the Capitol Building behind them.”
"I Don't Like the Optics."
We Want to Believe That People Won't Smear Others. It's Willful Ignorance.
There are people who choose to (falsely) believe that angry and ambitious people don't resort to smearing other people's names and reputation. They choose to believe threats and aggression don't happen. Courts often enable it too so that becomes yet another challenge to getting relief.
We Are Not Always as Self Aware and Objective as We Believe
Sometimes our self awareness, objectivity and honesty is low or worse, missing. We choose to "spin" how we're thinking, what we've done or what we're doing now.
The question is, are we open to learning this about ourselves and making corrections, not only for the benefit of others, but ourselves
This goes not only for us as individuals but also as an organization, practice or business.
James Harden on Rockets exit: ‘I wasn’t disrespectful to anyone.’
Rage -- When Vindictive People Enjoy Ruining Your Reputation
After the breakup...“I will destroy your reputation.”
The link below reveals a disturbing story in different ways. First, the teacher's judgment and decision-making (alleged criminal behavior) and then the manipulative and controlling ways of a man in rage. Who knows what is true. It's difficult to say. Maybe the man was abused as a child by a person who should have been trustworthy. That's common and very plausible. Yet there are other factors here that at least raise doubt.
For the woman, she can't undo her errors. For the man, he is not practicing forward thinking. Both would benefit from humility, learning and making wise, critical decisions and improvement. For one person, their well-being and reputation is in great danger.
There are people in rage who walk around saying or not saying "I will destroy your reputation," or "I will destroy his (or her) reputation."
I've witnessed this personally, people saying this within earshot of me. In whatever context of your life, how will you wisely respond to what might not be factual or true and (morally) protect yourself?
Former D.C. teacher accused of sexually abusing student a decade ago
Adults Act in Reckless Ways So the Quality of Remorse and Apology is Critically Important
We make mistakes with our behavior and sometimes terribly egregious errors that we later terribly regret. How can we make right when this happens in our professional lives?
For one, choosing not to make low-quality apologies that drive all around addressing what we did and speak little to the error and offense. This is unwise and rarely, if ever received well. It doesn't help reverse how people view us, our name and our reputation.
So tell yourself "I'll pass" when your brain tells you to offer up the type of apology that is fooling no one and makes people view you with more contempt. Instead, do a deep dive into your thinking. Dissect it. Adjust it to create new, helpful thinking. Seek assistance if necessary. A lot is on the line.
CNN's Jeffrey Toobin Apologizes Over Viral Pornographic Zoom Call
Make Sure Your Apologies Show Ownership of Your Errors and Express Sincere Remorse
At all costs, avoid robotic, compassion-less corporate speak. It is never received as honest and never inspires trust or forgiveness. What it does do is increase distrust, anger, resentment and thirst for punishment.
Whether you're a corporate leader, government official or well, human being, don't do the "obligatory, begrudging apology." It's consider very poor character and then people will not only resent you for the behavior you're apologizing for but for your whole being as a person or organization.
Consequences and punishments will keep coming to your door until you wisely, morally, fully make corrections, with humility, transparency and truthfulness. Trust and credibility will be a longer, harder road back. People have long memories for wrongdoing.
McKinsey Issues a Rare Apology for Its Role in OxyContin Sales
Think About the Unwanted 'Costs' of Perceptions
We don't always see how our decisions and behavior are being perceived. What may not be our intention could still prove problematic, as our actions or inaction could result in other people to be convinced we have poor character, leading to negative judgment and possible harmful reactivity.
It's important to consider this in business, the workplace, in online communication and in our personal lives. Criticism gains momentum quickly and is difficult to slow or stop. Changing a negative narrative is challenging and often costly in many ways. Surround yourself with wise people who will help you see all possible risks.
Stephen Jackson Shocked and Upset at James Harden's Behavior
Empathy is More Than a Fluffy Idea for Leadership - It's Risk Management
Companies struggle to learn that the times have changed and they have to change too when it comes to human interaction. Unless you realize the critical importance of sincerity of empathy and compassion and how other people perceive and feel difficult decisions, you put your career and company well-being on a weak limb.
How you communicate is not a personal preference anymore. You need to be highly skilled or you will become an easy target within the organization with employees and outside of it with the media, social media, activists and the public. Even if you believe your decisions are ethical, reasonable and well within your authority, they may not be viewed and experienced that way. Other people's perceptions, emotions and beliefs often will trump your assumptions.
Google Fires Prominent AI Ethicist Timnit Gebru
Being More Prompt in Humbly, Honestly Addressing Wrongdoing to Save Yourself Greater Costs
Life after scandal for Felicity Huffman is quickly looking up. When more wisely, skillfully, properly responded to, significant improvements to one's life after self inflicted reputation pain can happen.
Felicity Huffman has a new opportunity. She was not judged to be toxic and untouchable. She again had market value. She can work to restore reputation.
Felicity Huffman Lands a New Pilot
Reactivity is Rarely Beneficial to Your Name, Reputation and Business Well-Being
How reactive is your personality? How much do you enjoy dressing down other people? It's helpful to know this about your personality and behavior before communicating online.
Otherwise you might make a very cost, painful error or a series of them. The media and social media might come to rescue you yet it might not be enough to help protect your name, reputation and job security.
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