And how you can tap into his deep desire for commitment...
Maggie was perplexed. Rick had completely wowed her on their first two dates. No one had ever made such a great effort to make her feel unique before. She was astonished. He was interested, considerate, gentle, and respectful. But then, no sooner had she fallen in love with him, poof, he walked away. Their roles had now been flipped. She worked all night to grab his attention.
Not every man pulls away when things get heated, but a lot of men do. In fact, as a dating and relationship coach, this is a prevalent question among the women I work with. Guys start strong, chasing with enough zeal to make Romeo envious, but once they catch Juliet's attention, it's game over.
What's going on? Let's face it, dating is a difficult task. It's thrilling and exciting, but it's also nerve-wracking. It's all about the chase at first. He's attempting to pique your interest, and you're weighing whether or not he's worth it. That point in any romantic relationship is when both parties are so engrossed in the quest that they don't think about anything else.
You decide you like him, and now that he has your attention, he needs to start thinking about a true, serious relationship. Is he looking for one? He very certainly does, otherwise, he wouldn't be pursuing you!
However, wanting something and having the courage to pursue it are two completely different things. So, what is a woman to do? Let me start by telling you what you should not do.
To begin with, don't make the mistake of thinking it's about you. It's almost probably not the case. He was interested in you before you were interested in him. He's still smitten with you. Second, don't put him under any unnecessary stress. On this topic, many advice pieces are incorrect. They usually recommend that you play "hard to get" or a similar game. Let him know you're interested in him instead but do it in a way that isn't suffocating or oppressive. It may be excessive to send text messages every hour on the hour, for example.
During the pursuit phase, he is motivated by desire. His motivation transforms as soon as he learns this could be serious. Suddenly, he's thinking about the different options he'll pass up and the lifestyle changes he'll make.
(Many men have an unjustified fear that committing to a woman will make all of their activities gendered.)
The best thing you can do when he appears distant is to appear relaxed and at ease.. When he appears distant, the greatest thing you can do is appear relaxed and at ease.
Don't freak out because he'll freak out as well. Attempting to grab his attention will just annoy him. And don't panic because he's identified a fatal flaw in you. Because that thought process will put you in a depressing mood, which is not pleasant.
He pursued you for the first several dates, hoping you'd decide you liked him. He's been known to take risks in the past.
It's now your turn. Allow him some breathing room while yet expressing your interest.
Any man who truly desires a mature, genuine relationship will come around once he realizes there is nothing to fear.
And any man who isn't ready for a committed relationship isn't the hottie you once thought he was!
Now, before you go into "waiting mode," I'd want to show you a shortcut that would quickly bring him back and renew his passionate pursuit.
There's nothing wrong with being patient, but if you want to pour a little miracle on your relationship here is what I recommend you do next...
According to survey research, men prefer to be respected above being adored. It's ingrained in our DNA. We have an irrational urge to earn your respect in order to win your love.
As a male dating counsellor who primarily deals with women, I recognize how silly this appears to you.
It's one of the few "secrets" that can give you a leg up on males. Here's how knowing this information can help. If you can tap into a man's real desire to earn your respect in the right ways, he'll go above and beyond to assist you.
And the more he does it, the more it gets simpler for him to imagine himself committed in the relationship with you for a long time.
He wants to be a hero. He wants to help you solve difficulties, come to your rescue, and prove your worth. It's not quite romantic, but it's in his DNA.
That's why, even if he's currently asking for space, I've put up a video explaining this phenomenon in further detail so you may tap into his hero instinct whenever you choose.