In this article about should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week ,The never-ending conundrum. You met an amazing guy, gone on a couple of dates, and now you’re smitten. But wait, you haven’t heard from him in over a week. What does this mean? Is he just really busy? If you haven’t heard from him in a week, should you text him?
If you haven’t heard from a guy in a week, chances are he’s just not that into and you shouldn’t text him. When a man is truly interested, it becomes very obvious and he won’t be hot-and-cold with his effort. Men don’t play hard to get and would never risk you thinking he’s not interested.
LEARN HOW TO TEXT HIM TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU
However, I will say there are some (not always!) cases in which he is interested and hasn’t reached out. Why do men do this? Is he playing games?
No, he is not!
If there is anything you take from this article it is this: Mature men who are truly interested in you don’t play games. However, they are human and there can be reasons they get distant.
You really liked this one, didn’t you?should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week , The date went well. He was funny. You were laughing, and then poof! He doesn’t follow up or text. should i text if i haven't heard from him
Here’s what you do, in a few simple steps.
Step 1. Next!
If a guy doesn’t text you in a week, he’s probably not that interested. Even if he hasn’t fully ghosted you, the long gap between texts is not a good sign.
You were hoping I wasn’t going to say this, but I wouldn’t be a professional dating coach if I was scared to share the truth.
Men know it’s their job to take the lead. They know they have to text a woman who they are interested in, or she could start chatting it up with another man.
If you haven’t heard from this guy in a week,should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a few days, don’t text him and don’t think about him anymore – just chalk this one up as another one that didn’t work.
But wait! You might be saying. What if he’s just busy? Dating coach, Anna Jorgensen has the answer to that question.
Is He Just Really Busy?
If a man is still building his kingdom, then his career will come first. (If he’s a great lover, you’ll come, too, but it’ll be when his work is done for the day.)So, yeah, he could be super busy. But if he’s into you, he’ll reach out —
See? Even if he’s really busy, he’ll still reach out. Period, end of story.
PS. Want to know why men ghost? Here’s the scientific answer.
Step 2. Release Your Energy
When you meet someone that is really awesome, it can give you this overwhelming feeling of excitement. It’s that glimmer of hope that maybe you won’t need to swipe on Bumble anymore. Maybe the search for that high-quality man is finally over!
That hope is what is making you hold onto something and question it, even if it feels wrong. It can be hard to let it go if this seemingly great guy decides to ignore you after a date that went so well.
What you’re dealing with is all this built up energy.
You’re wondering what happened. Did he forget how great the date went? Did he get kidnapped? Maybe work really is that busy for him this week?
All of this mental energy will drive you nuts and you’ll want to text him just so you can breathe a sigh of relief.
You’ll reach the point where you don’t even care if he’s not interested anymore you just want an answer. You’ll be tempted to text him something funny or even a lie just to see what his response is. You want to send the “test text” to see if he’s interested or not.
Don’t do it.
You’re better than this. You’re a high-quality woman.
If he’s not putting in the effort, neither will you. Find a healthier way to get your “fix”.
Text a friend, go for a run, go on another date.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week , Watch your favourite movie again, anything!
Just put your phone away and think of another way to release.
Step 3 – Omg You Almost Settled
If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, it’s a big deal. It’s my job as a dating coach to tell you this, but you already know this.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a few days, That’s why it makes you feel so bad and has your thoughts racing like crazy.
So listen to your gut! You almost settled for less.
Here’s a guy who has given you one (or maybe a few) good dates and you’re ready to throw away one of your most important dating standards?
You want a serious guy right? A man who can take the lead? A man who is committed for the long-term?
If a guy doesn’t text you for a week – this is not that man.
You’re looking for high-quality, so why are you settling? If you really want high-quality, it means that you want a man who meets your needs.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a day
A man who is serious about a relationship and wants to go out of his way to make you feel loved and supported.
With a high-quality man, you never have to wonder if he’s interested. You’ll know.
You’ll always know.
Free Checklist: How To Attract Higher-Quality Men
Step 5: Take Back (The Right) Control
It may seem petty or ridiculous that I’m writing a huge blog post on this topic, but it’s actually a very serious issue.
As a dating coach for women, I see this all the time.
The problem has nothing to do with texting. It’s your need to control the wrong things.By questioning whether or not he’s worth it if he hasn’t texted you, you’re actually wishing that you could control him.
That you could just send a telepathic message that says “please check in with me and text me so that I can still be attracted to you… the dates we’ve been on went so well…I don’t want to be on Bumble anymore….please”
This is the wrong area to focus your mental energy.
You need to take back control of yourself and your dating life. You actually control these things so use your mental energy here. So how can you take back control of your dating life?
Think about it as if you were a major film director.
You are about to cast the role of the male romantic lead in your big movie. So you hold auditions.
As each man walks in, you have to turn many of them away. Some can’t act, some are not good looking enough.
As a director who is in charge of this film, the outcome of it relies on you.
So, do you just sit there trying to turn the man who came in with an awful audition into a good actor just because he’s good looking?
No!
Would a director really waste his time on someone that can’t act?
No, she would say “thank you, we’ll call you.”
And then she’s be onto the next audition.
Your dating life is like this.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a day, You are in the director’s seat, looking for that guy to come along.
LEARN HOW TO TEXT HIM TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU
You have to let go of the idea that you can control others, and instead learn to control yourself.
Your mindset, your attitude and your ability to keep looking and not settle for the wrong guy.
Ok, I’ll confess. I know that what I just outlined is easier said than done.
Positive thinking and constantly reassuring yourself is going to help with this.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week Like dating expert Bela Gandhi says:
Thoughts like “I’m not good enough, I only attract bad people, I’m too fat” These stories will keep you stuck where you are. You need to turn these stories into positive ones — “love exists for me. I am beautiful just as I am.”
If you need some help with positive thinking, you can check out this blog post.
Step 4 – There’s Only One Exception
After all this has been said, there is only one exception to what I just laid out and that is:
If he already planned another date with you.
If he mentioned at the end of the last date or the next day that he wants to take you out again next weekend, that’s a really good sign. In his head, he knows he made plans with you and he could just very well be busy at work or not feel like making small talk conversation over text.
He doesn’t feel the need to do this because he has already made plans with you and knows he will be seeing you again. That’s perfectly fine.should i text him if it's been a week The only thing to watch out for here is that if he doesn’t confirm the date.
He should confirm either the day before the date or early on the day of said date, and if not, I’d consider him low-quality.
This is a man who doesn’t respect your time and leaves you hanging up in the air.
Not high-quality.
Step 5 – When To Forgive?
When dating, everybody is somebody’s second choice.
Although that sounds bad, it’s not really a bad thing, it’s just human.
As dating coach Evan Marc Katz reminds us:
You’re asking if you should have compassion for him. And the answer is yes. Because every person you date is a human being, with flaws and blind spots and insecurities and strengths, just like you.
He may have gone on a couple of great dates with you, had a great time, and then met someone else that made him more excited.
That’s totally normal, could happen to anyone.
If that other relationship didn’t work out, he might reach out to you to see if you’re still interested.
So should you text back? Should you go out with him? If you’re still interested in him, yes you can go out with him, but don’t be overly eager or show an overwhelming amount of interest.
If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, he’s not putting in my effort and neither should you. The level of effort you put in must always match his level of effort.If he texts you after a week and says “hey, sorry, been busy at work, how’s your week going?”
Match his level of effort by saying “It’s going well, how’s yours?”
See? Simple, not too much detail, not too much effort.
If he’s able to keep the conversation going and “woo” you into going on a date, go for it. If after that date he starts checking in, planning dates,should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week and acting like a high-quality man, you can forgive him and see how things go.
But if he goes MIA again after this date, cut him loose forever.
You can forgive once, not twice.
And you never chase.
Get 30 Flirty Texts!
Things might not be working out with this guy who hasn’t texted in a week, but it never hurts to spice up your texting game!
If you need some help spicing up your text messages, download my Free List of 30 Flirty Texts.
In Conclusion
So, in conclusion, if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, he’s probably not high-quality enough to be worth your time.
You deserve better than that and you’ll get it if you keep looking.
I hope you find this article helpful! With love from your favourite dating coach,
How To Stop Negative Thoughts
How To Know If He Loves You – 10 Signs of Real Connection
Why Did He Ghost Me? The Answer From Science
Why Would A Guy Not Text?
Been dating a guy for a while and he hasn't texted me in a week.Should I text him first or move on?
Is He The One That Always Initiates The Conversations?
Is he always reaching out to you first? Do you two only talk or make plans because he initiates them?
If he’s putting in the majority of the effort, it’s very likely he’s feeling like his effort isn’t being reciprocated and has withdrawn a bit.
Although, stereotypically, men are supposed to be the pursuers in a new relationship, it’s important to remember that they are only human. No man (regardless of how much he may like you) will always be pursuing and initiating conversations if he feels like you aren’t meeting him halfway.
At some point, they can become a dash insecure and think you only reply to be polite. “Am I bothering her?” or “If I don’t initiate, we don’t talk, is it possible she’s not into me?” These are normal thoughts that could cross his mind.
Everyone, regardless of how confident they are on the outside, dislike rejection. It hurts. And if he starts feeling like you’re the one that’s not that into him, he will protect his feelings and retract.
So, you have to be honest with yourself here. Is he the one that always initiates conversations? Do you only talk if he reaches out?
Or, are you the one that always reaches out to him?should i text him if it's been a week, If you don’t text him first, is it complete radio-silence on his end?
If it’s the latter, move on!
He’s Not Texting Back Because He’s Busy
This seems to be the most common thought woman have when they don’t hear back from men in a while.
And it’s complete BS!
Listen, we’re all busy! We have a million different things going on in our lives between balancing work, friends, school, working out, meals, calling your mom to see how she’s doing, walking the dog, and laundry.
Everyone is balancing a hundred different things.
There was a time in my life when I would leave for work at 5AM and not get back home until around 9:30 at night.should i text if i haven't heard from him
I was running around like a chicken without ahead for two years and had a full calendar.
But you know what? I still made time for the things that were important to me.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week
I still texted back my friends and picked up the phone to call people who I cared about.
You’re telling me, this guy is SO busy he can’t send a ‘Hey! I’m swamped at work so haven’t reached out, but want to grab a drink Saturday night?”
I mean, I could send that text waiting for a red light to switch. It doesn’t take more than 30 seconds.
He could also send it as a voice note while walking to the bathroom. It takes 15 seconds to voice note a message. Or is your stud super human and never stops working? Not even for bathroom breaks?
Please don’t make excuses for men. The only reasons he isn’t reaching out is because he doesn’t want to.
You would be much better off finding someone who is consistent and doesn’t leave you doubting his intentions.
But let’s play devils advocate for a minute and say that YES, he actually is crazy about you and is just ridiculously busy. He’s a lawyer who also runs a non-profit and volunteers helping blind dolphins on the weekend when he isn’t knitting scarves for the homeless. (Honestly, what a catch!)
LEARN HOW TO TEXT HIM TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU
So, where do you fit in with this guys life exactly? Is there even room for you here?
In the beginning of a relationship is when most men are pulling all the stops and making you feel like a million bucks. He’s just too busy to value the amazing woman you are.
And if you are okay with being in a relationship with someone who is too busy to spend much (if any) time with you, that’s completely up to you.
It isn’t unheard of for some partners to lead almost completely separate lives.
I know I wouldn’t be able to do it and I’m certain a lot of woman would agree with me, no matter how incredible that dolphin-loving-lawyer is, I gotta set him free.
Why would I want to be in a relationship with the ‘love of my life’ if he’s too busy to even text me? Do you think he would magically become the consistent, loving partner I want? I highly doubt it.
Okay, I Hear You. But I Want To Give It One Last Shot. What Do I Text?
If you truly think there has been some miscommunication and don’t want to move on without being certain of where he stands, there is only one text I would send.
I would not send anything along the lines of ‘I haven’t heard from you in a while” or asking him why he’s been quiet.
If he receives that text he will think you’re a stage 5 clinger!
If a guy isn’t your boyfriend and you start asking him why he’s being distant, he will run for the hills.
So, if you want to reach out and get a feel for where you stand with him, do not acknowledge the fact that he’s been quiet.should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week , I’m not advocating you play games, but you should be so busy with your own life that you aren’t sitting around checking your phone 24/7.
You didn’t even notice he has been quiet!
So what I want you to do is send a normal text initiating a date.
That’s right. None of this ‘Hey! How are you?” or small-talk.
Texting in the beginning should not be a means of conversation. You can’t build rapport or a connection through texts.
You should only use it to set up dates or build anticipation for said dates. Once you’re in a serious relationship, this changes of course, but in the beginning I don’t want you falling into the penpal-trap. Keep them quick and flirty.
So, I want you to send a message that initiates a date BUT leaves room for him to put in effort and meet you half way.
This way you can tell whether or not he is interested in seeing you again or if he’s just stringing you along.
Example of this text would be:
“My week has been crazy busy. We should grab a drink this weekend!”
This way you are telling him very clearly, ‘I want to see you again’ but now the ball is in his court and he can decide to follow up or not.
By the way, the only acceptable response to this is a variation of “I’d love to! Hows Friday at McLaren’s Pub. 7PM?”
He needs to follow up with a day and time.
Some men will say something along the lines of ‘We should. I’ll text you Thursday or Friday to set it up” or “I’ll let you know what I’m doing on Saturday.”
NOOOOOO! If he sends that open date without a day, time, place; it is officially time to move on.
He is putting you in the ‘after-thought’ category. He wants to keep his options open and see what better plans come up. This is as bad (if not worse) than ghosting.
If there is nothing else he wants to do, then hey! maybe I will text her.
Repeat after me: I will not wait around for a guy to decide he wants to see me. And I will surely NOT leave my weekend open expecting him to call me.
You are a high-value woman who will not sit around. should i text him if i haven't heard from him in a week ,Make plans with your girlfriends. Take a class. And delete that mans number because he is just not that into you.
LEARN HOW TO TEXT HIM TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU
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