Painter's Note

While I would consider myself a pretty good painter now, my first paintings disappointed me and weren't very good.  They consisted of splotchy colors and strange shapes.  The brush felt heavy and awkward in my hand and the canvas felt bumpy and unnatural.    Nothing felt right, but something stopped me, something in my head told me to keep going.  At this time I also started taking official painting lessons with a teacher I had known over the summer.  After my first attempt at learning I was eager to learn from a professional, to be able to immerse myself in this art form.  The first thing I painted with my art teacher was her pet parrot and once I got the image of the parrot into my mind I started painting.  I was nervous at first, my hand shaking and unable to touch the canvas.  Eventually my paintbrush touched down on the canvas and the painting could begin.

I could see the image of this parrot in my mind and I began to feel this image leaving my mind and migrating through my paintbrush onto the canvas.  I began drawing out what the painting would look like when I finished.  Now it was time to paint.

Streaks of blue paint from my brush turned into an entire ocean. I was impressed with this but there was no time to dwell on it now as I saw my brush fly to the next part of the canvas.

I began to paint in green in a rough shape of the parrot, and from that I sculpted wings, a head, eyes and I did it all without even realizing what time it was.

Even though I had days in between when I didn’t paint, it didn’t feel like it.  I can only remember the ever maturing painting.

Feathers began to take shape on the bird and it looked like it just fly off the canvas at any moment.

I gifted the new parrot and ice-cream cone to grasp onto in the picture.

As the parrot was done, its world began to take shape.

Trees, leaves, grass all began to lift up the parrot.

Cradling it in their leaves.

For the first time in painting I felt free,

Free from something that made painting scary and foreign,

I don’t know what feeling to call it,

I may never know what to call it,

,but during it there was a feeling of exhilaration,

a feeling of freedom,

,a new part of me unlocked.

I finally took a step back to look at my painting,

,to see what had been created.

I saw vibrant greens, deep blues, striking reds and glowing yellows all coming together to create a world in paint. The parrot, as quaint as it was, made for an amazing painting and looked life-like.  I was happy with the final product I had created, and while I no longer was feeling how I had felt while I was painting, I still felt a feeling of accomplishment, "Clear and sweet is my soul, and clear and sweet is all that is not my soul."  I felt very happy and clear-minded, and the whole world around me had taken on a sort of glow of creativity.  I felt like I could do more paintings, I could express myself more, and I did.  For the next several years I would create many paintings, have many experiences like this.  All of them different, but all similar.  Painting is different from words, or other mediums, and I think the experiences it brings are really unique.