Step 3

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

Goals:

· Make a commitment to get back into alignment with core values and moral values

· Replace brute force self-will with adopting God’s Will in how you do things.

Information:

In step 1, we were able to see through the fog of denial at the truth about our addition, the damage that it has caused, and our complete inability to overcome addiction on our own. Having fully accepted the seriousness of our addiction and our powerlessness, we needed the hope that Step-2 provided. Step-3 is the first action step, where we have to do something. The action of step-3 is that we “Made a Decision.” In Step-2, we came to believe that our Higher Power could restore us and in Step-3, we make the decision to let him, to be open to learn more about His way, and willing to let of My way.

The purpose of writing out a third step is to help us make this decision to turn our will over to the care of God as we understand him. Please answer each of these questions and be as honest and specific as you can. Give specific examples from your life.

1. In your addiction, in what ways did you turn your will and your life over to caring for drugs or alcohol? ____________________________________________________________________

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2. In what ways have the problems in your life been because of your way of thinking, and your way of doing things? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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3. In what ways have you been selfish, self-centered, or egocentric? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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4. What is your definition of self-will? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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5. How has “fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity” (A.A. pg 61) created problems for you in your life, and in your relationships with others? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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6. In what was self-will ineffective in being able to keep you clean and sober? ____________________________

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7. How has self-will hindered your recovery efforts because of the list of things you were not willing to do in order to get clean and sober? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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8. Do you really believe that God will take care of you and that following God’s-will would result in a better life for you? Please explain: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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9. How has self-will (beyond just drugs or alcohol) created problems in your life?

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10. On page 62 of the A. A Big Book, it states “Above everything, we alcoholics (or addicts) must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.” In what ways do you agree or disagree with the problems that self-centeredness cause in life? Also, explain your point of view regarding the difficulty giving up self-centeredness without help from God. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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11. How have you blocked God or Spirituality out of your life? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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12. What is your definition of God’s-will? ___________________________________________________________

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13. In what ways has your self-will been out of alignment with God’s will? ________________________________

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14. On Page 60, of the A.A. Big Book, it states “The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.” Are you convinced of this? Explain in detail. __________________________

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15. How did Steps-1 and Step-2 prepare you for making this decision in Step-3? ____________________________

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16. What fears or reservations do you have about making a decision to no longer doing things your way (self-will) and instead, following a better way of living, being led by God’s Will?__________________________________

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17. What do you expect will happen to your life when you do turn you will and your life over to God?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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18. Are you entirely ready to make this decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of God? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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19. Review the A.A. Third Step prayer found

“God, I offer myself to thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, They Love, and They Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

Memorize and recite the Third Step Prayer, found on 63 of the A.A. Big Book with a sponsor, counselor, significant other, pastor, or other members of your sober support system:

In turning over our will, our self-will, to God, we make a decision to adapt a new way of navigating life. The list below includes a column of characteristics of self-will and to the right is the corresponding characteristic of God’s will. With Step-3, we are making the decision to start turn our will over. However, it will be a process to get there, and it will take time. The remaining steps will help you continue to make progress on ridding yourself of a life dominated by self, and relapse it with a God-will life of love, harmony, acceptance, and service.

Self-Will VS God's-Will

Reflect on the above list of personality characteristics of self-will and describe how these self-will characteristics have contributed to the problems you have had in your life._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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