Self Reflections

Dragons and Spaghetti

As I am the one in control of this portfolio, I could utilize it as a platform to boast of my many strengths and successes. It would be easy to allow vanity and the human desire for reverence to take over, merrily guiding my hand in writing a self-proclamation of grandeur. That, however, seems rather disingenuous. Intertwined with my strengths are weaknesses that will inevitably reveal themselves. So, rather than waste time on surface-level pleasantries, I would like to take a moment and allow you to peer into one of my greatest insecurities: leadership.

The first time someone suggested that I watch the Game of Thrones series, I must admit that I had my reservations about whether or not it was a quest worth embarking upon. Though I am a dragon lover (who doesn’t want Toothless!) and a fantasy film buff. I found all the fanatical frenzy of it to be quite off-putting. However, eventually, I resigned myself to the idea that just because others had become consumed with the series did not mean that I too would eventually find myself falling victim to the seduction of dragons and bulky, bearded men. Admittedly, there are many aspects of the series that I quite enjoyed, particularly the dragons and, of course, Daenerys Targaryen, the “dragon mother.”

There was a way in which Daenerys Targaryen led that was both powerful and vulnerable. Vulnerability is a rare quality to see in leaders, and seeing it portrayed in such a powerful way, for the whole world to see, challenges preconceived notions surrounding what it means to be a leader-what it means to be a woman. There is a name for Daenerys’s style of leadership: democratic. Of course, I had no idea that there was a clearly defined method for categorizing leadership styles, much less what the “Mother of Dragons” leadership style was. I just knew that in order for me to better understand my own insecurities surrounding leadership, I need to, first and foremost, have a clear understanding of what true leadership was.

Upon taking a rather simple leadership style assessment, however, all the aforementioned was revealed, as well as my own leadership style. I, like Daenerys Targaryen, am also a Democratic leader (who knew!). Imagine my surprise when my results appeared along with the image of the Dragon Mother herself! Confidence officially boosted. Now, I only had to discover what that meant and what to do with it. 

The democratic style of leadership takes an ‘all hands-on deck’ approach. It is a method of leadership that places value on everyone involved and places no greater importance on one than the other. The image that comes to mind when I contemplate what exactly this looks like is King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Though this is an admirable style of leadership, it is not without its challenges—challenge accepted. 

To lead democratically requires the ability to rally the masses (team) under a unified goal—knowing that the success of reaching that goal is entirely dependent upon the willingness of all involved to be actively engaged and motivated to achieve it. If they are not, then the process will become daunting and unproductive. If I am being honest, I do not know that I have the patience to endure days or weeks of what my grandmother used to call, “lollygaggin,” waiting for others to muster up the ambition to play an active role in whatever project or goal lies before us.

There is no doubt that this lack of patience will prove to be a hindrance when it comes to my ability to lead others effectively. I have always thought of myself as an individual who is best suited for solitary leadership because of this very reason. In order to combat this, I turn to the greatest motivator I know-passion. I would love nothing more than to say that my life is consumed with passion, however, passion often takes a backseat to dirty dishes and toilet scrubbing. Despite this fact, I am still able to execute my list of responsibilities in an efficient and productive way even when passion is little more than a glimmer seen in the soapy water of a toilet bowl.

 I do not have a passion for dishes or cleaning toilets; however, I am passionate about having a clean home. It is this revelation that must be deployed when leading others. Building a team that is passionate about the idea/goal/project is the key to success. The mundane and relentless tasks that can fill a project from the moment it is brought into fruition can be daunting, and it is easy to lose sight of the goal. Maintaining focus on the task at hand, while keeping sight of completion of the project, can help keep excitement, ambition, and yes, even passion, flowing into a project until its completion.

Improving my ability to manage change will probably look a lot like a toddler eating spaghetti for the very first time. It will be messy, maybe even grotesque at times, and initially, I will likely have many near successes and even more failures. It will be frustrating, I have no doubt, and I will likely find myself still hungry—not for spaghetti, but for purpose. There will be times I want to quit and throw myself on the floor in an uninhibited tantrum, but I will not. I will carry on. Patience and persistence will prove to be my greatest allies in managing change. That and a good dose of humility.

Improving oneself, in any way, whether it be personal or career-driven requires an honest look at the areas where we can often fall short. There will be challenges, change is never comfortable or easy. It is how one handles these challenges that makes a good leader. I have not yet mastered that skill, for I am still stuck in a highchair throwing spaghetti. One day though. One day.