I have a joke about trickle-down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

My favourite Disney movie is the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a hero with a twisted back story.

The only idea that flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was five.

Where did Jason go after getting lost in a minefield?  Everywhere.

Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight, unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

I'm addicted to placebos.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Did you know koi fish always travel in groups of four?  When a predator attacks, koi a,b,and c will scatter and swim away leaving behind koi d.

What is another word for Thesaurus?

I just read that in New York, someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.