i always struggled with finding people who genuinely cared for me, mainly because i don’t open up or let a lot of people in. i’ve struggled with my mental health since i was 9 and as i came into youth, i though i was ok and that everything was perfect again. I thought that ass long as I acted like I was fine and everything was okay it would be. however, the first half of this year has really been challenging n i’ve been questioning and asking god if he is there. It's so difficult to just listen to him and to have faith in him because i couldn't see him nor hear him. n in this period i’ve felt very alone n isolated. but though the spiritual spa, i have realised that god is here with us always. it’s whether or not we want to just listen to him n focus on him. i think he has also shown me that i do have people who care for me n it’s just that i need to be able to open up for me to build closer relationships with my friends n also god

Tbh i was never planning to volunteer to serve for our cluster worship sessions but i’m thankful i did bc the worship in the retreat was such a memorable experience and at first i was kinda nervous ab it cuz there were replacements and basically new people in our team getting new positions so i was afraid that like the set wouldn’t successfully bring out our msg or like go with the flow but the prayers we’ve had standing in a circle b4 worship started rlly calmed my heart as if God was telling me that everything was gonna be alright and the support from the leaders rly gave me hope, and i realised that i shldn’t fear judgement bc i’m serving for the Lord and not for anyone else in the room. Then later that day we went for svc and I encountered God during the altar call :) felt that the worship rly spoke to me and i cld feel the holy spirit’s presence filling the rm. so after i went to get prayed for, my friend, kirsten, came to me in tears and told me that God was calling me and that she heard my name multiple times while at the altar and at that time i was pretty shocked bc i thought of all ppl why would God want to call me right and it made me realise how much God yearns for me to spend time with him and talk to him more by inviting Him into my life and acknowledging His presence with me every moment of my life. I’m glad to hv journeyed thru this with my close friends as we were all there to support each other and offer a shoulder to cry on :) for day 2’s spiritual spa, the lady who did my prophetic art drew an ancient telephone for me and asked me whether i was missing anyone old (cld be grandparents) and i did miss my grandma bc i didnt see her the whole of june due to my busy sched! and coincidentally that day i bumped into her at the bus stop opp church while travelling to bishan park and it was so nice to see her :) so rly thank God for that ❤❤❤ And she told me to give my grandma a call sometime! During the spiritual spa worship, i also kinda broke down in tears and it was like involuntary so i felt that God was trying to communicate to me through worship yeah i’m honestly v grateful for retreat okie that’s it byeee

lately, ive been feeling really distanced from God, that no matter how much i tried to make a change in my life to gear more towards God, i strayed further from Him instead, and that put a lot of unnecessary fear in me, fear of the uncertain and led my life into a hopeless spiral. through this retreat, i have seen my cluster grow and lean more in Gods ways and I am truly in awe of His wonders. 

back in crossover camp in 2019 when I was p6, it was a tradition to receive one stone each with prophetic art on it. the stone i felt the most drawn to in the darkness at Bishan Park had a star on it , and i had chosen it because i had a strong call towards it and its shiny gold paint attracted me. since then for 3 years, that stone has been my source of hope and strength and something i really treasure because even though i did not know the meaning of the painting on the stone yet, i reminded myself not to lose hope as someone had actually prayed for a message from Him specially for me. for some years now, ive been feeling extremely alone even though im with people i felt like i was always getting left out or ignored so i just stop talking altogether. on the first night of our 07 retreat, we conveniently went to the prayer and worship night. during altar call at pnw, i was so scared because no one was going up, and i hadn't really felt like going up so i started getting distracted from the worship because of the awkwardness. until finally deborah and then alicia went and i got a little bit of courage but i still didnt dare to go and ignored the tugging in my heart. 

then zach went up and i told God: if you want me to go up after Zach, send me a sign please. and then, i felt a slight tugging on my sleeve THEN I CHECKED BUT NOTHING WAS THERE. BUT IT WAS PULLING ME TOWARDS THE STAGE. and that was the moment i knew i had to go up. i waited for pastor joey to be finished with zach and i finally mustered the courage to go up. and when i went there i was flustered and scared as i had never done this before, and i told her about my overwhelming loneliness and how its really been affecting me, and so she started praying for me and i just could feel each word of prayer sink in and the feeling of finally saying it out and being prayed for, i started breaking down and sobbing so much and then she paused and she told me: jody i dont know if this means anything to you, but when i was praying for you i saw a star. i was literally shaking because it really was a full circle moment for me YEARS after i had received that rock, which really showed that he has been by my side the whole time and he will continue to be there even if i don't feel it, and isn't that comforting to know? AND SO I CRIED EVEN MORE. then i went back to my seat and just soaked in the heavenly presence of God as it really touched me on a deeper spiritual level and it was the most amazing thing ever and i couldnt stop crying and the tears kept coming. 

im so thankful for this experience because it truly gave me a newfound hope in my life that there is really a God that loves you so deeply and its really so so comforting to me. i feel spiritually energised and my heart is full and pumping with the love and joy for the LORD.

not only that, i have seen our whole cluster grow so much and it is so amazing to watch and im so touched and grateful for everyone because im so proud of everyone for growing as a fellowship and community and i cant wait to pursue a deeper relationship with God and bask more in his Love for us. 

im really grateful for our cell leaders' guidance and mentorship and teaching me that GODS LOVE TRULY DOES PREVAIL and allowing me the opportunity to experience Him first-hand.

retreat was filled w so much joy, koinonia, bonding & fellowship. wah the whole environment was so wholesome i honestly wished retreat nv ended rn am having rly bad post camp depression.. but yes here’s my testimony  if you happen to read this, i hope you're having a blessed week & i pray youll be greatly ministered! 

before retreat i prayed and asked God for an encounter for every individual (including leaders!) and can rly be seen that each one has rly grown in their rls w Christ and as a whole cluster… heart super filled seeing everyone growing together and the desire to want to grow deeper w Him. God sees each of your heart and is so so proud of you :”) to those who took the step of faith (whether its during altar call/ own quiet time etc) i thankyou for believing and trusting in the maker! definitely is not easy Abba is beyond blessed to have u as His child. 

for me, personally i went into camp not expecting anything because i realised that whenever i expected something from God and He didnt think it was the right time, feelings of frustration and unworthiness would start to consume me. but God really never gives up on me and kept wanting me to experience more and more. i shared this many times but nv got to share when i finally experienced God’s grace and shalom peace. This retreat allowed me to experience what ive been earning for. rly all glory to God!! since april, i felt v overwhelmed w being in this relationship w the Father. its been a race hard to keep up, its been a journey that is never ending and that took a huge toll on me realising that i found no peace w Him. when this happened, nothing really satisfied me, i stopped seeking and asking for more, i stopped wanting to choose Him daily. when i was tasked to serve for day 1 worship retreat and worship in youth service (& it being my first few times leading keys) and had so little time to prac, i asked God why He placed me w so much when i clearly cannot handle it? throughout the week, had no answer until retreat ended and i realise i finally understood what God meant by “ in His time everything will b made beautiful”. basically, on friday night during rehearsal, i was really stressed and the anxiety built within wah i cannot compared, felt super breathless and was about to pass out seemed as if we had so much to prepare but so little time. texted jewelyn and asked if she could pray for me but she was at pnw and didnt see the message however had a talk w me together w some others after prac and assured me that ill do okay and God’s grace will sustain! the night of talking and worshipping really helped me to ease the anxiety. (it was rly fun getting to know more ab yall thru the games btw rlly wouldnt trade anyt in the world for this)

but back to my testimony! In the morning when we did devos, phil 2:13 really spoke that its not by your capability but Jesus. as it got closer to the set i felt anxious about, God kept tugging in my heart to ask a leader to pray for me. yep if u saw my insta story! but i kept ignoring and pretending not to hear God because my mind was flooded w questions :”( right before i was suppose to head up for service, a clear voice told me to “ go up to a leader and get prayed for” it was so clear that it’s obvious God sees our hearts cannot run so mustered up every courage and went to aly and asked her to pray for me:”) she readily agreed and prayed over me, cast every bit of anxiety out and assured me that ill b okay cos she was also v anxious for her pnw set! she even sent me an encouraging message before service…. tq aly!!  and really by God’s grace i did not feel anxious, no racing heart beat, no panic attacks, nothing. Tq Jesus!!! finally experienced the peace that i longed desired truly never felt this good HAHAH aft ws my team rlyrly encouraged me and sam and aly too as well as some in the cluster! tq all for the encouragement and support i really appreciate it sm. after everything my ws leader pmed me and told me that he felt anointed when i played and had the sensing to go on his knees to worship…. wah am sososo encouraged all glory to God. from the set i had most anxiety to one of my best sets. I cannot believe and comprehend it! tq abba for making all this possible, leaders for planning, & cluster 07 yall solid really oh yes and tq for showing me the importance of community. am really so blessed, still want to grow more and more in likeness of Him with y’all! 

Hi, so I'm really grateful to everybody who participated and organised the retreat. Over the course of the retreat, I have grown closer to God and have also been comfortable worshipping anywhere, especially now in church! Previously, I had been shy about singing during worship, but during the impromptu worship service in the staircase, God changed my perspective on worship and ever since, I am comfortable with singing and worshipping. During the sleepless night in the retreat, I also participated in another sudden but welcoming prayer session with some of the guys and Tim. I really felt vulnerable, open and comfortable sharing certain problems and I genuinely enjoyed the round of prayer and the presence of God and my fellow cluster mates there. I also had an unforgettable experience shared with Fang Zhi and Amadeus where we spent the whole night bonding and talking about problems and exchanging experiences. (therapy!) Finally, the outreach done with my groupmates from day 1 was similarly memorable as I had the opportunity to outreach and share the gospel with strangers- which is something very far from my comfort zone. Anyways, the last bit where Warren prayed for me as one of his “treasures” was very touching as it was a way to close the retreat! As I left, my heart was very heavy that I could not join y’alls for the final service but it was alright as God had answered my prayers before the retreat of getting closer to my cluster again. That's all, thanks for blessing me with a sense of belonging in this cluster!    :”)

Those two days spent with all of you were the highlights of my year so far, I’m so so so blessed to have been given the opportunity to co-lead a cell group (with the rest of the leaders) a cluster like yours. As a cell leader, I’m supposed to be helping to build your faith and guiding you through tough questions that you may have but I feel that you have made my faith grow so much ever since I met you in 2020. Seeing you grow deeper in faith during this retreat has really affirmed all of the leaders that God has been working in you and the seed that we planted since two years ago has been germinating. This may come in the form of you stepping out in faith to go forward to altar call, approaching your “treasure”, serving in ministries even if it is nerve-wrecking for you, worshipping to your heart’s content (be it in service or at the stairwell or at the retreat), praying for one another even if you don’t have the right words, believe it or not, asking questions like questioning “What is the purpose of it all?” and “Is God real?” are all signs that there is something growing inside of you. 

I have so so much love for you all and as I’m writing this, I have the sensing that God loves each and everyone of you all and wants to hug you in His arms. No matter how flawed you may think you are or how undeserving, God’s heart aches that you may feel that way. Some of you might not believe in Him or accepted Him as your Lord and Savior yet but the leaders and God truly hope that one day your heart will be opened and He will show you the immense love He has for you and every burden will be lifted.

Matthew 11:29-30 (NIV)

29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Right now, I actually have a request to make. This community you have is so powerful together and it's such a safe space for everyone. Keep this community close and keep a look out for each other. Don’t judge or gossip about anyone and love the unlovable. Continue this welcoming space and the love you have for one another because these are the people who will be getting you through your valleys and being with you through your highlands. With that being said, keep God in the middle of your community and build your fellowships, friendships and faith around Him and trust me, He will not fail any of you. Whenever you encounter problems personally or as a cluster, go to the Lord in prayer and He will give you a peace beyond all understanding.

Thank you for allowing all the leaders to see how God has worked in you and how you have all grown. I LOVE YOU!