Autobiography

my school life

I struggled in school and my struggles seemed to only increase as I got older.  I didn’t understand why socializing was seemingly impossible to understand.  My brain seemed to twist itself into knots and I couldn’t comprehend why my experiences were so different from my peers.  I had a lot of sensory overload and wanted to crawl out of my skin on a regular basis.  Unfortunately, I was pretty isolated from any support.  

I tried attending community college after high school and I kept having meltdowns.  I decided to take a break from school and went to work full-time instead.  As I slowly learned to support myself and build my little career, I went to night school and transferred full-time to a 4-year university at the age of 26.

My struggles didn’t end, but I worked really hard to develop supports for myself.  Every single challenge seemed like a mountain as learning how to cope with life seemed impossible.  But I developed a personal motto, “You have to be uncomfortable to get what you want.”

It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I started to learn more about autism and I started to suspect I might have it.  My siblings and I figured out that our mom has autism, which completely unearthed a lot of understanding about the home dynamic from our childhoods.  As I learned more and more about autism, I identified with many various manifestations of it.  My autism caused language processing delays, social development delays, sensory sensitivity and synesthesia (a condition where sensory input is crossed between 2 or more senses).  I was formally assessed at the age of 40 and the assessment process was one of the most validating experiences I have had in my entire life.  The doctor asked me questions about the way I process information in a way that I was never able to speak to anyone about.  It unearthed so much understanding about my experiences and in how I think and experience the world around me.

my career

I worked as a process manager before going back to school full-time to pursue a history degree at Brigham Young University.  I focused on minority studies and wrote my senior thesis, with an emphasis on race and gender, specifically about Mary White Ovington, who co-founded the NAACP.  In my college courses, I was exposed to a much more complex historical landscape than my K-12 educators portrayed.  I was transfixed and transformed by the unexposed history and it has driven the trajectory of my career.  I completed my last semester of college in a study abroad program in Jerusalem.  There, I was able to see the dynamics of Israeli and Palestinian interactions and conflict and the effect of marginalization amongst several populations in Israel, which has helped shape my desire to pursue social justice in my career.  

I went on to get my MA in Teaching with a social science credential from the University of Southern California where I had incredible educators.  The value my professors put on social justice resonated with my love for history and for wanting to build educational spaces for marginalized students where they could be affirmed and empowered.

I initially wanted to teach social science, but as I took on substitute teaching positions while looking for permanent work, I was repeatedly called to work in a self-contained classroom for students with moderate to severe disabilities.  This classroom felt like home and I fell in love with these students.  After some research, I found the free Education Specialist credential program with the Los Angeles Unified School District.  After applying, I  was hired for their program while teaching full time.  I am now in my eighth year of teaching with LAUSD in a self-contained classroom for students with disabilities. 

special education

My experiences as a special education teacher have illustrated the lack of advocacy for students with disabilities in spaces where leaders make far-reaching decisions.  A specific watershed incident took place early in my teaching career.  I worked at a school with a lot of challenges, which included a team of administrators with no experience as school leaders.  I had a very independent student who would spend time with peers outside the classroom during the morning break.  He didn’t return to my class after the bell, so when I called the office asking if he had been seen on campus, they told me he had been assaulted in the restroom by some other students.  My administrators didn’t address this issue with any resolution to provide support or systemic changes to campus safety.  My administrator even steered the family of my student to let the school police handle the issue so that a more formal report wouldn’t affect our school’s safety record.  Despite my reaching out to various departments in the district for support, there was no advocacy for my student and the safety of all my students on campus.

This was one of several challenges I faced at that campus and as a new teacher, I was very isolated from any support or resources to meet the needs of my students.  I realized that I would need to be the advocate for my students and build systems to meet their needs as no other organizations or administrators would help me with my program.  To ensure the safety of my students, I took over the vacant connecting classroom next door and turned it into a sensory/break area for my students.  We used it for science experiments, exercise, sensory breaks and break time during nutrition and lunch.  My students had an adult escort with them everywhere they went on campus and we dedicated a restroom for the sole use of my students so they would not be at risk of further assaults.

I learned that there isn’t enough advocacy for students with disabilities.  We faced challenges of students being assigned to special education settings, when they only had behavioral challenges.  We had students identified as English language learners when the reason they didn’t speak English was due to their disability.  We had students inappropriately assigned to a moderate to severe program when they had no academic delays.  Our Black and Brown students were being overidentified with disabilities.  There were so many challenges, which could have been resolved by administrators and educators who were more informed about special education laws and policies.  These inequities have inspired me to pursue a path of advocacy for my students and all stakeholders.  There are not enough policy makers who understand the needs of our students and families as it relates to special education.

I became a department lead at my school for Special Education teachers.  I have joined a district committee to create resources for teachers of students with disabilities.  I joined CARS+, a California organization for educators in the field of special education, and presented at their annual conference.  And I joined UCLA’s PLI program to pursue educational leadership positions so that I can advocate for stakeholders who do not have enough representation.  In a field where 50% of educators leave SPED positions within the first 5 years and 75% leave within 10 years, we need educational leaders who can build systems to support the needs of our students, families and staff members.