Peer Rope Leuven: Introduction & Code of Conduct

What is Peer Rope Leuven?

Peer Rope Leuven is a small and local organisation that wants to connect rope-curious people and rope addicts around Leuven and create a safe space where we can learn from each other.

We want to put the ‘peer’ into Peer Rope! Everyone is welcome to learn from their peers but also to teach to other rope enthusiasts. If you want to teach something or if there is a certain theme you'd like to see presented, let us know!

• Suggestions/ideas for a themed activity can be submitted online.

• As a theme presenter, you will earn two free income ‘tickets’ for Peer Rope events.

The team members have a shared vision about Peer Rope Leuven events that we want to make into a reality. We want to promote values of inclusivity, consent, safety, and generosity. To facilitate this, we ask you to respect the rules, agreements and structures detailed below.

All of our information, forms and socials can be found in this handy Linktree! If you want to keep up to date with our events, you should be able to find everything you need through this. 

Practical information

Dates

Planned Peer Rope event dates can be found on the Google Calendar or as FetLife events.

Cost

We would like you to pay whatever you think the event is worth. We suggest between €10 and €20. We believe this is a normal price for rope jams, or even quite cheap when a rope workshop is given.

We do ask for a €5 minimum for a Peer Rope event. We use this money to keep the space clean, provide the mats we practise on, buy ropes and safety gear, provide snacks and tea, etc. We keep the price relatively low, so that we can include as many people as possible. If the €5 fee is still too high for you, let us know, we will allow you to pay what you can.

The Peer Rope team

Peer Rope Leuven is organised by --Emily--, -Calcifer-, AmorphousEntity, IndigoDust, Pandora-s-Dare, Robert52, and ViolentBlue.

At every event, the Peer Rope team will take up the following roles to promote safety:

• Monitor: This person is continuously on call and keeps an eye out for every possible safety issue. Safety monitors can be recognised by a rainbow bowtie. 

• Confidante: If you feel uncomfortable at a Peer Rope event or afterwards, or if you want to talk about something that happened, you can talk to a team member of your choice at the event, or through FetLife after the event. Information shared in this way will be shared within the team, but no further.

• First Aiders: --Emily– and -Calcifer- have knowledge of first aid.

Our events

Structure of a regular Peer Rope evening

• Every fourth Friday of the month, we host our regular rope evening. This is the best place to go to for introduction workshops, themed activities and some time for a rope jam afterwards.

Structure of a Peer Rope rope jam, with simultaneous fundamentals workshop

• We sometimes host evenings where you can choose between either a full evening rope jam, if you just want to practice and tie, or pick the fundamentals workshop that is happening at the same time in an adjacent room. The fundamentals workshop is ideal for when you already had a taste of ropes/shibari/kinbaku and are ready to learn.

Extra information

• Tea, coffee, water and sugary snacks are provided at all of our events. Snacks usually include vegan and gluten-free options. As generosity is one of our values, we love it when participants also bring a snack!

• During all our events, the kitchen and veranda are available as social spaces where you can have conversations and have a drink or snack.

• Aside from our regular events, we organise rope weekends from time to time. They will always be announced on the Discord and on Fetlife, as well as at our events.

Practical rules // Code of Conduct

Inclusivity and respect 

• Our events are intended to be inclusive for everyone. All genders, social backgrounds and ethnic backgrounds are welcome. 

• To keep our events inclusive, we do not tolerate any form of harassment.

• If anything at our events makes you feel excluded in any way, feel free to talk to a team member. We’d love to improve this!

• Positive feedback for activity organisers is encouraged. Negative feedback is also welcome of course, but please give this feedback in person or through FetLife messages, in a manner that is constructive and respectful of the person receiving it.

Consent // Asking someone to tie

• Peer Rope Leuven holds a zero-tolerance policy for intoxication. People who are intoxicated cannot properly consent to tie or be tied. If you arrive at one of our events while under obvious influence of alcohol or other drugs, you may be asked to leave until you are sober. Repeated violations will result in a suspension or ban from our events.

• Photos can only be taken with explicit consent of everyone in the picture. This includes background figures, even if there is only part of a person visible. Also ask for consent if you’d like to share the picture online, or show it to other people.

• Peer Rope Leuven events are attended by people of many different levels and backgrounds. 

  • Be aware that if you’re asking someone to tie, they may be less experienced than you. Safe words and ways to check in should always be discussed beforehand (for both riggers and models!)

  • Be aware that someone newer to the scene does not always know their limits. 

  • Be aware that someone newer to the scene may not be comfortable giving a verbal ‘no’. Look for enthusiastic consent and watch out for non-verbal no’s (looking away, hesitation, …)

  • This is not the place to offer unsolicited lessons or advise. Feel free to ask why someone did something a certain way (after the scene is over!), but don’t assume you know how to do it better. 

• Anyone can ask anyone to tie. We recommend being proactive in approaching potential partners. Be nice, be courteous, and allow space for a response of, “no, thank you”.

• Everyone is free to accept and decline invitations to tie for any reason. Respect the responses you get. Getting a no is a valuable gift. It means people trust you enough to be honest, and you can also trust their ‘yes’ later.

• Physical touch, sensuality and sexuality are part of our events. However, this only applies to consenting partners. Ask before you touch someone, hug someone, kiss someone, etc., regardless if you are just talking or before/during a scene, until you have established mutual consent.

• Ask before touching someone’s stuff.

Rope safety 

• As previously mentioned, Peer Rope Leuven holds a zero-tolerance policy for intoxication. It is not safe for someone who is intoxicated to tie or be tied.

• Consider the safety of your ties at all times. Both rigger and model are responsible for this. If you are unsure if something is safe, don’t do it.

• Consider the safety of people around you. Movement within a scene should be limited to areas where you will not hit other people. Be aware of where the tail ends of your ropes go. 

• There are safety monitors present during the jam, recognisable by a rainbow bowtie. If they stop you, listen to them. They’re trying to prevent injuries. If you disagree with their judgement, do as they ask but feel free to talk to them after your scene to clear up any misunderstandings.

• We generally do not allow neck rope at Peer Rope Leuven events. By this we mean any rope that goes around the neck, and is attached or locked off somewhere. Even if this is within your usual risk profile, we do not want to risk life-threatening situations at our events. Exceptions can be made if you come up to the safety monitor and ask for permission for specific ties. 

• If you have a CNC (consensual non-consent) dynamic with your partner, please ask permission from a safety monitor if this might become part of your scene. If a safety monitor does not know that what you’re doing is consensual, they will stop you or at least interrupt your scene. 

• The team can suspend or ban people for tying in a way that we deem unsafe. We will most likely only do this after giving a warning. When approaching someone about the safety of their ties, we will always explain why we think what they did was unsafe and are open to discuss safer alternatives.

• If any injuries do occur, please report what happened in as much detail as you can in this form. We use this form to track the most common injuries, with the goal of giving educational sessions on how to avoid these injuries where applicable. 

Moving around the space

• Nudity is allowed at Peer Rope Leuven. Exceptions to this rule will be communicated clearly before an event.

• This is a sex-positive space. Having sex is allowed during the jams and free rope time but not during certain activities like workshops, introduction, fundamentals,... as it’s distracting for others. Keep sexual scenes rope-centric. 

• Be respectful of the space people are tying in. Try to keep to the edges of the room if you are not tying.

• If you are tying in a crowded space, be aware of how much space you are taking up in relation to others. 

• Manage your volume near the space where people are tying. If you want to have a longer conversation, consider moving to the kitchen or veranda.

• If you want to move someone’s stuff to make space for your scene, ask them first.

Caring for the space

• Peer Rope Leuven team members do their very best to keep the space clean. However, we only have so many hands. Therefore, we stick to a simple rule: if you see a task, it’s yours. Don’t wait for someone else to clean up a spill or for the toilet rolls to magically refill themselves. Feel free to ask team members for supplies.

• If you have sex, please keep a towel between you and the mats.

• Do not bring cups to the mats. Only closed bottles allowed. It is a pain to clean if any liquid gets under them.

Self-care and consideration for others // Promoting your boundaries

• This is a sex-positive space. Be aware that you may see sexual acts at the jams.

• You are encouraged to inform your rope partner(s) if something they do or say makes you uncomfortable, physically hurts or feels unsafe. If you have a negative experience, we encourage you to deal with the problem directly by first communicating clearly with those involved and setting firm boundaries. If a situation persists please notify a host or organiser. You can do so by addressing one of us directly, or by filling in this form.

• You have the right to accept or refuse invitations to tie without needing to give a reason or apology.  A “no, thank you” is sufficient.

• You may end a scene whenever you want, even if it has lasted only a minute. If you are a model and your rigger does not untie you after you ask to end the scene, alert the safety monitor (or someone close by who can do so).

• Move to verbal feedback whenever if nonverbal cues are not working. Not everyone has the ability to read non-verbal cues well. 

• Speak with the organising team to learn how to assert your boundaries or if you have concerns with someone respecting your boundaries. We’re happy to listen, give advice, and/or help to resolve a challenging situation.

• Care for your personal hygiene. If need be, bring extra clothing and personal hygiene products to ensure you look and smell clean (and dry). Limit use of strong smelling natural and artificial perfumes, deodorants and colognes.

• If you have pet allergies, be aware that a chinchilla lives in the house.

Navigating mistakes

• The Peer Rope Leuven team will address behaviour that makes others feel unsafe or excluded. If someone has made you feel unsafe, please contact one of the team members so they can inform the rest of the team and take appropriate action.

• If a consent violation or accident occurs, we offer the option of discussing the situation with all concerned parties, mediated by a confidant.

• If a consent violation or accident occurs, we can ask the violating party to leave the Peer Rope session.

• Peer Rope can permanently exclude people from Peer Rope sessions after conferring with the entire team.

We hope you have an amazing time at our events and that you may discover the beauty and pleasures of rope bondage!