Saudade

Noun

   A feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia that is supposedly characteristic of the Portuguese or Brazilian temperament.

Saudade não tem tradução

Saudade doesn’t have a translation 

Saudade is the feeling of overly missing and longing for someone or something. It is a mix of missing, longing, joy, happiness, and nostalgia. A feeling that perfectly describes how much I miss Brazil, a feeling that brings one both sadness and joy. A word that is perfect to use when talking about your friend you haven’t seen in years, the one you FaceTime religiously, the first person you text when you have news, the one that has a tattoo dedicated to you, the one that has been by your side for 16 years.

I have so much saudade for São Paulo, the city that raised me, with its charcoal gray skies and towering skyscrapers, a place that many feel unsafe and afraid of, yet it’s the place where I feel the safest, and where the people I love the most are. I have saudades of the Brazilian farmer's markets I went to with my aunt every Thursday for “pastel” and sugar cane juice. Sometimes I can close my eyes and I am back there. 8 years old, sitting on the white plastic chair, taking a bite of my too-hot-to-eat cheese “pastel.” In my head, that experience embodies what being Brazilian is like. I feel water on my face, and I’m back in Utah.