Arc 5: Chapter 31
The air seemed to consolidate into a thick silence, and even the wind halted.
Since they entered the gates of Frost City, neither Xie Hanzhou nor Yu Sui’an had deliberately concealed anything about the past or themselves.
Xie Hanzhou had thought that Yu Sui’an had taken all of the worst—his pain, fear, and malice—but when he saw the dark red that stained the room, and when Lin Yuan called out his name, the resentful hands that clawed at Yu Sui’an also shot towards him, mercilessly gripping his throat.
They wanted to drag him down to hell, because Xie Hanzhou should have perished here too.
Xie Hanzhou's chest rose and fell erratically. He desperately recited Daoist scriptures, hoping the familiar scriptures would free him from the shadows in his heart.
But the Daoist scriptures did nothing to help, if anything, they only made the shadows in his heart grow stronger.
After Xie Hanzhou joined Yuqing Palace, he threw himself into studying and cultivation. But with every breakthrough, and every step he climbed, he found it harder and harder to defend Pure Jade Palace and the other immortal sects. He considered the past countless times, and weighed their interests and choices over and over, yet the result was always the same—if the immortal sects had fought with all their might back then, Frost City could have survived.
【Di! Please pay attention host, the villain, Xie Hanzhou’s blackening value has risen to 50%.】
Lin Yuan’s heart tightened at the system’s notification, but he reminded himself that he had expected this. Still, that didn’t stop him from looking back at Xie Hanzhou with worry.
Lin Yuan was about to go over and comfort the man, when Xie Hanzhou suddenly came forward and embraced him tightly without warning.
“Ma— Xie Hanzhou…”
After a moment of surprise, Lin Yuan wrapped his arms around Xie Hanzhou’s waist. The man’s back that was usually straight like a pine tree was now hunched and fragile. Lin Yuan softly patted the man’s back and whispered: “It’s okay now… everything’s over…”
“Xie Hanzhou, it’s been hundreds of years. You’re not the city lord’s illegitimate son anymore. You are Xie Hanzhou, the Patriarch of Pure Jade Palace. Most importantly, you’re my Dao companion…”
“Forget Xuanyuan Manor. Forget those people who trampled on you…”
Lin Yuan could feel Xie Hanzhou’s body was trembling, as if he was suppressing something, and the man's entire weight was leaning on his body, as if Lin Yuan was his only source of support. Soon, he could barely hold Xie Hanzhou upright, and the two of them slowly sank to their knees.
Lin Yuan pulled Xie Hanzhou deeper into his embrace: “Didn’t you want a clear Dao heart? If I can, I will help you. If you tell me to die, I will die for you without hesitation…”
“Just forget Frost City. Forget Pure Jade Palace too.”
“Let’s go far away, just the two of us, okay?”
Xie Hanzhou was squeezed into the arms of the youth, wrapped in his warmth and listened to his voice. He thought of everything that had happened to him, from Frost City to Pure Jade Palace, and suddenly realized that for so long, the Daoist scriptures have become his shackles.
The sect’s ancestors thought that as long as Xie Hanzhou pursued the Great Dao, he would forget the resentment of Frost City, and thus cleanse the immortal sects of their sin.
But they never expected that instead of following Daoist teachings, Xie Hanzhou would use a forbidden technique to separate his heart’s malice, creating Yu Sui’an. Maybe in his subconsciousness, creating Yu Sui’an was not to destroy his heart demons, but to protect them.
Yu Sui’an’s existence preserved his resentment toward the old immortal sects. Remembered his fear and despair during the destruction of Frost City. Remembered who Xie Hanzhou really was.
He was abandoned by his mother, grew up trampled by the masses, tormented by his father, and even Pure Jade Palace originally forsook him along with Frost City.
Heaven and earth, family and sect...
None of them had ever wanted him.
Only Lin Yuan wanted him.
Xie Hanzhou clenched his eyes shut, trying to suppress the stinging tears. He tightened his grip on Lin Yuan, as if trying to fuse their blood and flesh together.
Lin Yuan let out a small groan of pain, but still continued to gently stroke the man's back.
“Xie Hanzhou, why don’t we leave? Leave Frost City, leave Pure Jade Palace. The world is so big, it definitely has room for one Xie Hanzhou and one Yu Sui’an.”
Lin Yuan lifted Xie Hanzhou’s face and met the other’s gaze. Seeing the reddened corners of the man’s eyes and unshed tears, Lin Yuan couldn’t help kissing his forehead, and then over his eyelids, and then over his cheeks.
Finally, Lin Yuan kissed Xie Hanzhou’s lips fiercely, squeezing the original bloodless lips until they became bright red.
As he kissed, Lin Yuan murmured in a low voice: “Wherever we go, whether it’s heaven or hell, I will always be with you. There will definitely be a place for us.”
Xie Hanzhou listened to the young man's voice as their lips and tongues intertwined. The faint metallic taste of blood quietly spread in his mouth, but it was unlike the rancid stench he remembered. This time, the taste seemed to hook his soul and desire.
A place for him…
Xie Hanzhou silently repeated these words in his heart. He suddenly remembered that day when the youth sat on a sycamore tree, gazing into the distance, and he looked at the youth from behind.
Among all the sights in the world, only this one belonged to him.
He had a place to belong to now.
Lin Yuan was that place.
【Di! Congrats host, the villain, Xie Hanzhou’s blackening value has dropped to 45%.】
【Di! Congrats host, the villain, Xie Hanzhou’s blackening value has dropped to 32%.】
【Di! Congrats host, the villain, Xie Hanzhou’s blackening value has dropped to 21%.】
…
【Di! Congrats host, the villain, Xie Hanzhou’s blackening value has dropped to 14%.】
The strong sound of Xie Hanzhou’s heartbeat merged with the cold mechanical sound of the system.
Lin Yuan kissed Xie Hanzhou gently again, and said: “You want to leave Pure Jade Palace, right? But all this time, you didn’t have anywhere else to go, so you could only stay on Ancient Grove Peak, right?”
Xie Hanzhou opened his lips, but then paused. After a long time, he finally admitted: “Yes, I wanted to leave. I couldn’t accept how the immortal sects claimed to protect the world, but the 400,000 people of Frost City were not considered part of that world. To them, we were just pawns to be discarded.”
“Lin Yuan, I don’t want to be the Immortal Soverieng of Pure Jade Palace or some celestial being. I’m just an ordinary person.”
“An ordinary person who has no place to call home…”
Lin Yuan shook his head and looked at Xie Hanzhou with warmth, and his voice was equally as warm: “Now that I’m here, you have me.”
Lin Yuan thoughtfully considered: “The winters of the northern region are too cold, and Pure Jade Palace can’t accept us being together. Let’s go south. It’s springtime, so the flowers there must already be blooming…”
Xie Hanzhou couldn’t stop the smile from growing on his face. He could see it, spring flowers, a warm breeze, and the bright sun that could light up the dead city in his memories.
“Yes, let’s go south…” Xie Hanzhou hugged Lin Yuan tightly, like he was holding his entire world in his arms. He repeated in a low voice: “You, me, and Yu Sui’an… let’s go together to the south…”
After saying this, Xie Hanzhou suddenly couldn’t sit still anymore and the urge to go overwhelmed everything. He stood up with the youth in his arms and walked over to his other self, heartlessly jerking the other up by the arm.
“Yu Sui’an!” Xie Hanzhou said sternly: “Haven’t you had enough of kneeling all of these years? Wake up! He’s long dead, you killed him, remember?”
“Yu Sui’an, that beast is dead. Dead and gone.”
“The rest of them are dead too. No one else is here to mock you, beat you, or curse you. You survived. You are the only one left from Frost City.”