OxYou

The woes of having a one night stand in the freezing cold. Has someone cancelled a midnight rendesvous because of tomorrow's forecast? Does a report from RadCliffe hospital reveal an impairing frostbite from the walk home? Or does a coffee date at Gulp Fiction gets heated back at someone's place - only for the removal of several clothing layers to dampen the mood? The opportunities - much like the number of unique snowflakes in the world - are endless...

Inspired by the inauguration of Donald Trump, Oxford students storm the Oxford Union - but because it's the Union, they must first grab their membership cards; and because it's Oxford, the "storming" just involves queuing politely round the back. We're looking for a dramatic retelling of this non-event punctuated by appropriate bathos.

Inspired by Times magazine, it's about time (pun intended), the OxYou had its own version. Will we crown Botley Road Roadworks for their significant contribution to wasting everyone's time? Perhaps due congratulations should be paid to Circuit Laundry, for having washing machines which steal your money as well as your socks. Or maybe we should applaud every JCR President ever to inflate their pre-existing sense of self importance? This is your chance to commend those who ought to be celebrated.