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Social jitters: 0.25 mg under tongue, $0.65 each.
Daily calm: 0.5 mg twice, $0.87 per tablet.
Panic shield: 1 mg split, $1.31 daily max.
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Every blister ships with glow-timer caps: green = drive safe, amber = wind-down, red = Uber home.
Thirty 0.5 mg Xanax tablets in child-proof push-through foil. Titanium-core night guard 3D-printed from your 16-second bite selfie. Seven cherry-melatonin micro-gummies for natural wind-down. Laminated “$0.87 forever” lifetime price guarantee card plus QR-code fridge magnet for 60-second refills.
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Our AI sniffs liquor, beer, or NyQuil in your cart history. Order pauses. You get a dancing panda GIF, a free hydration bottle, and a mandatory 30-second MD voice note. We blocked 512 blackouts last month—live counter ticks on every product page.
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Every budget order ships a $269 UV titanium night guard upgrade. Patients cancel 3.2 crowns + 1.5 root canals yearly. Your enamel banks the profit.
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Promises “$0.29 generic.” Wire-transfer only. Ships in chip bags. Zero dentist license number. “No Rx needed” flashing banner. Our AI + human SWAT team = 0 counterfeits ever delivered.
Drop to $0.77 per 0.5 mg tablet. FREE UV guard plus sanitizing case. Lifetime price freeze at $0.87. Personal “exit architect” Dr. Kim—14 years anxiety mastery, replies in 80 seconds.
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Dentist-priced. Doctor-delivered. Dollar-demolished.
Your $26 calm ships in 3…2…1.