After deciding while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements. Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton, who tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified because she cannot use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes, impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a "Yo Momma" fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.

Deciding to betray the Spartans, Hilton tells Xerxes where the goat path is in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen, who then battles him in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen.


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Meet the Spartans is a 2008 American parody film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Similar to past movies, such as Scary Movie, Date Movie, and Epic Movie, it directs parodies of various films. Although it references many films, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the 2007 film 300. It opened #1 in the US box office, despite being critically panned by critics and audiences. The film stars Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken Davitian and Kevin Sorbo.

After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements. Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton (Parker), who tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes (Ken Davitian), impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a "Yo Momma" fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.

Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen.

The film got nominated for five Razzie Awards (Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actress for Electra, Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for Friedberg and Seltzer), but all lost to The Love Guru, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 1968 Tunnel Rats, In the Name of the King, and Postal. This movie, along with Disaster Movie and Vampires Suck, are the only Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies to get nominated for the Worst Picture Award.

Parents need to know that plenty of teens will want to see this mindless spoof, even though (or perhaps because) it's riddled with gross-out humor fueled by swearing, bodily functions, offensive jokes, and cartoonish violence. Pop culture references -- and outright product placements -- are peppered throughout, too. We've seen it all before in films like Date Movie and Epic Movie, but it's possibly even less funny in Meet the Spartans. To stay in the loop on more movies like this, you can sign up for weekly Family Movie Night emails.

I took my cousin to go see it at the Edwards Marquee Theater on I-10 in Houston, Texas because he was a fan of the Scary Movie franchise. Spoof movies were also coming out left and right at that time.

Following the success of "Scary Movie," Friedberg and Seltzer attempted to get other projects off the ground, but ultimately they were pragmatic about how Hollywood works and ended up going back to the well of spoof movies. So, they wrote and directed "Date Movie," a parody of rom-coms that made $85 million at the box office against a $20 million budget. A movie that was edited by Paul Hirsch, of "Star Wars: A New Hope" fame, no less. "Epic Movie" followed in short order, all while the "Scary Movie" sequels were continuing to make bank as well.

There was no rest for the wicked as the duo's next film, "Disaster Movie" (a parody of, you guessed it, disaster movies), also opened in August of 2008. Unfortunately for them, it performed poorly, taking in just $36.7 million globally. But they would bounce back quickly with 2010's "Vampires Suck," capitalizing on "Twilight" to the tune of $81.4 million. But by the time "The Starving Games" arrived in 2013, the juice on these spoof films had pretty much run out, and the two have done very little since, with 2014's "Best Night Ever" and 2015's "Superfast!" hardly registering on Hollywood's radar.

For instance, I walk into every new David Fincher or Coen brothers picture with excitement, and it dissipates irrationally quickly when confronted with a Panic Room or an Intolerable Cruelty; expecting excellence only to be confronted with mediocrity, my high hopes probably make me dislike these movies more than I should. Yet occasionally, I'll attend a movie expecting a dismal time, only to have more fun that I would've though possible.

The River Cities' Reader, started in 1993, is independently and locally owned. We publish a monthly printed tabloid size magazine, available for free throughout the Quad Cities at over 300 locations. The Reader provides keys to the Quad Cities' culture in print and online with exhaustive event calendars and coverage of arts, music, theatre, festivals, readings, lectures, meetings, exhibits, museums, dance, sports and classes for all ages. Commentaries on business and politics, locally written theatre and movie reviews, advice columns, astrology, cartoons and crosswords are also published in print monthly, and refreshed daily, online.

Toto: Good questions. Actually, when it comes to noticing what films get opening-day reviews, and which ones don't, I'm sure those of us who read (and write) movie blogs pay closer attention than the general public. On the other hand, I have noticed more newpapers running notices on Fridays to alert readers that, hey, guess what, this or that movie was not previewed for critics, so watch out...


Actually, it wouldn't surprise me if the day comes when studios refuse to preview anything but Oscar-bait movies and/or movies aimed at people who actually read reviews (or who can read, period). I'm old enough (55) to remember a time when opening-day reviews in newspapers, even the NY Times, were very much the exception, not the rule. Recently, while doing research for my master's thesis, I was amused to read so many NYT reviews of major movies from the '60s and '70s with sentences like this: "Movie X, which opened yesterday at the Plaza, is..." Almost like theater reviews of opening night performances.

This was a bad week for big movies, with not a single first run release is even worth rating a solid purchase, never mind being a contender for DVD Pick of the Week. There were a few other contenders for the title, including Dirty Harry Collection on DVD or Blu-ray. However, I found it impossible to decide which format was the better deal. Had the Blu-ray provided anything more than High Definition, or been a more reasonable price compared to the DVD, it would have been an easier choice. One of them is the DVD Pick of the Week, I just don't know which one. On a side note, there is an immense flood of Blu-ray releases, including a few I thought were coming out previously.More...International Details - No Foolin'May 4th, 2008

We meet Leonidas, surviving adoption, and death-by-volcano, enduring cold climates, starving, forced to fight the penguin from Happy Feet. Yet, overcoming these obstacles to become king of the Spartans. Although King Leonidas is now married, the future does not look bright, and prophecies of doom await him. Still, he attempts to lead an army to fight the god-king Xerxcise, determined to annex Sparta to the great Persian empire. Along the way, Leonidas and co. will encounter strange sights, modern wonders, and celebrities. Spirits will be tested, and gags will be cracked. In this clash of empires, nothing will be spared. be457b7860

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