Hey There! Oh, Isolation is being Re-Written! If you want to see the original story (for whatever reason), a Google Doc is available here!
To some degree, a disconnection from reality is required in order to function in a fascist system. If you're not the one leading the pack, you suffer; even if you are a part of that system - a cog with knives and clubs and guns, indiscriminately attacking anything around you as you spin - even if you buy in fully to the job and the harm you cause, you are dehumanized. Rendered an object, either man or woman. But you have a life. You have a heart, a brain, and you can see everything that happens around you. Even if you don't know things are wrong... you can see them hurting people. You can see them hurting yourself as well, sometimes.
So, you don't think about it. Or you do, but you justify it. Endlessly.
What else could you possibly do? You're a cog. Built for a job. There's no room for you anywhere else.
There's barely any room for you in Bran's heart.
"Huah?!"
Joshua jolted, opening his eyes and lifting his head up from his side. It was still dim, thanks to the light from the shield over the town coming in through the window behind him. He didn't see anyone else in the barrack, other than Bran, whom was still holding him.
...Brandenson...
Joshua, please calm down. It was a dream.
...
He still loves you, alright? If he didn't, he wouldn't be here for you right now. You know that.
...
...I don't--
You're tired. Please go to sleep.
...
Joshua eases his head back down, finally. It takes a while for his eyes to close back up, as the silence keeps him on edge for a good while.
...
...
...
...
...Today was the first time Joshua's sense of reality ever faltered like that.
You know, when he lost track of time? Yeah, I have no idea why that even happened either! I mean obviously before this he's been... not the best with his thoughts and desires, but not like this! Things seemed to be getting better, he finally seemed even remotely receptive of Bran's suggestion of being friendlier with the aliens. The fe'rots. But now apparently anything might be capable of happening. Just in his own head!
...Okay, well, whatever's happening, I'm worried about it. And I'm worried I'm not gonna be able to do much of anything to help if things go wrong. You've seen him; he's not listening to me. Hell, he only really listened to Bran ONCE or so about what's been going on these past few days. He doesn't listen to me!
...
...Okay, I need to stop thinking like this; I can't afford to. Joshua is gonna need me to do something to keep him together.
Especially if shit like this is gonna be more frequent.
...So, I'm gonna calm down. Joshua needs to sleep right now anyways.
...
...
Joshua gained consciousness to silence the next morning, and Bran's left arm still hanging over him, albeit limply. The sun's light dimly came through the windows, as it leaked past the other side of Galvana. If he hadn't opened his eyes, he might've thought it was still dark out.
Joshua rose up from the bed. As he scooted to the edge, Bran's arm fell down in front of him, waking him as well. He took his own turn lifting himself up, and looking around.
"Do you feel better J?" he asked, groggily.
"Yeah, I do," Joshua replied, looking back.
...It wasn't a lie, as far as I can tell.
They both stood up, Bran coming out on Joshua's side instead of his own, and glanced at every bunk surrounding them. Still empty. The quietest it's ever been.
Would they have come back?
Suddenly, Joshua started walking out, and Bran followed a few steps away. As he got outside and didn't see anyone around, he turned right, going behind the barrack.
"Where are you going?" Bran asked as soon as he got outside.
"The warehouse" Joshua answered. "Maybe they came back." The dirt shifted under him as he continued, looking to his right every now and then to see if 'John' was anywhere to be seen still.
If they're not back... maybe he went with everyone else.
Soon enough, the warehouse was ahead, and Joshua tried to open the shutter door, struggling to lift it even three inches off the ground. Bran caught up a few seconds later and joined him, seeming to lift his side so easily, almost dragging Joshua up to his chest level, and making him look over to see him smirking. They both chuckled, and pushed the door the rest of the way up.
...
The warehouse is empty. No signs of anyone having been there recently to be seen. Toolbox drawers are left open, one office door on the balcony slightly fell off the top hinge, but nobody is around to be seen.
Joshua looked at Bran in concern.
"What now?"
Bran scratched his neck only twice, letting his head and eyes wander everywhere in the warehouse. After a pause, he turned to Joshua. "I don't really know," he whispered out. "I'm not sure if we should go too, at this point. I don't really wanna stick around for the reactions of our bosses, but..." Bran stopped. Then he turned back to the ship and walked away from the shutter door as Joshua followed him and his gaze.
"They seem to still be fine," Joshua whispered.
"Well yeah, I didn't think the guys were going to be able to do much. I just..." Bran paused again, breathing in. "Well, what even would've happened to them?"
Joshua looked over to Bran, his brow furrowed slightly. "Do you think we should find out?" he asked, cautiously.
Bran sighed. "Yeah. Might as well." Then he shuffled his way to the front gate. The whole short walk, Joshua could only think to himself; How are we even gonna get there?
The question also seemed to come to Bran as soon as he stopped right in front of the gate. He stood there, soaking in the immense doors.
Then he turned to Joshua, his face almost looking dead with expression. "You don't know how to open this either."
"No," Joshua immediately replied.
Bran groaned and tossed his head around, eventually locking his eyes to a ladder to the left leading up the wall column. Without a second thought he jogged to it, Joshua trying to keep behind him as he raced up the rungs. Bran stepped up on the top as Joshua could more clearly see what he assumed was the control booth built into the top extension of the--
"WHAT THE HELL?"
Joshua almost jumped off the ladder, then practically sprinted up the rest of the rungs to see Bran backing away from the booth.
'John' was in there, pale and wide eyed at Bran.
"What are you doing here?!" Joshua shouted as he stood up next to Bran.
"What are you doing here??" 'John' asked back, pointing his hand at both of them.
"We asked first, fucker," Bran growled. "Are you following us!?"
"Wha--" 'John' started, unsure of how to make his face look. "NO, you've been following me! Yesterday!"
"WE DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" Bran suddenly exploded, actually making 'John' retreat further against the console behind him, folding himself against it like a sheet. Bran felt the dynamic change, and approached while making himself look as big as possible, and speaking in more growls. "Answer the question. What are you doing?"
'John' looked at the ship. "What does it look like?" he said, his voice shaking uncontrollably. "I'm trying to get out of here!"
Bran didn't say anything at first, but he didn't like the silence for long. "Go on."
"Well what the hell else is there to say?" 'John' continued. "I'm not staying here if everybody else is leaving too! I'm not dealing with General Morgan, or Marshal Brier or anything right now, I don't even know what's going on!" 'John's face was getting red, his body was heaving, and Joshua could see tears forming in his eyes, even from a few steps behind Bran. "I gotta get out..." he continued, before losing his ability to speak or breathe regularly.
...
...Joshua doesn't know how to feel about this reaction. Obvious hostilities aside, he doesn't usually wish for people to get like this.
...
(...what? I'm not going to make a comment. I need Joshua to... stay stable himself. I'm gonna focus on being a supportive voice. Supporting the better thoughts, encouraging them when he isn't sure. I don't know what else to do.)
"Get out of the booth," Bran started, backing out of the opening, "if you wanna get out of here."
'John' just stared with tears on his cheeks. "What?"
"We're leaving. Seeing what happened. Get out."
'John' only hesitated for a brief moment before his body finally got the strength to move back, and nervously scooted past Bran and Joshua as Bran softly pulled Joshua to his side, staring at 'John' the whole time.
"Joshua, see if you can figure out how to open this thing," Bran said, not breaking his gaze. "I'll watch him."
He moved up to the console; One lever on the left, one button on the right, and a pull lever upside down hanging just above him. Pushing the button or pulling the left lever on their own or together didn't seem to do anything, but pulling the lever above him shook the wall, and seemed to whir something below them alive. A generator, or engine, perhaps? Joshua pulled on the left lever again, but the doors strained and the button blinked red. Pushing the button moves something - locks, based on the sound - then the lever finally, slowly and loudly, opens the doors.
Good ol' process of elimination.
"How didn't you figure this out already?" Joshua asked 'John', turning to see him getting stared down the ladder by Bran.
'John' meekly looked between them both. "I'd only gotten here about a minute ago..." he utters, before continuing his descent followed by Bran and Joshua.
The whole time - going down the ladder, then walking to and through the doors - Joshua glances at the Tower. No one seems to care about the noise.
He looks back to the others, and sees Bran leading 'John' through the desert ahead, and Joshua jogs to catch up with them. Looking back just one more--
...
...
The Marshal is staring at him from the door of the Tower. Joshua can't see his face at all, but it doesn't seem that he's... worried about any of this?
His clothes definitely haven't gotten any tidier. If anything, there's less of them as far as Joshua can tell. Only two glinting medals now, hitting his eyes every now and then.
A mild, heavy thud comes from behind him, and he turns to see a pod from the ship touching down in front of Bran and 'John', who are now a good few yards or so away from Joshua.
He turns back to the Marshal just in time to see him start walking to Joshua's right, towards the barracks. Still doesn't seem worried.
In fact, it feels like he might not actually be there. Obviously he's not moving all that differently from yesterday, but... Joshua felt he surely could be moving faster.
Hell, I do too. Frankly... I'm not even sure if... if there's actually anybody there, at this point.
No, I... I can't be losing my mind. I'm not losing my mind.
"Come on, Joshua," Bran says hurriedly as he walks up from behind. Joshua glances to him, then tries to look back to ask Bran if he sees the Marshal.
But the Marshal's already gone. Out of sight.
"We don't wanna wait for everybody else," Bran continues, putting his hand on Joshua's shoulder and trying to pull him to the pod.
The whole ride up was... well, it could've been worse. With 'John' being there sitting as far away from everyone else as he could, a lot of it was quiet. But Bran, It'kara and Tor'me still filled the silence as Joshua sit between Bran and Tor'me, listening.
"Yeah, I'd been keeping an eye out on you two," It'kara said in response to Bran. "Didn't want you walking all the way to the shield just to get here."
"How much of everything can you see?" Bran continued.
"Enough." It'kara took a breath and brushed some of the fur on their neck with their hand. "Normally, I'd been trying to give you all privacy when you're not on or near the ship, but with things developing as they are, we started getting more vigilant."
Joshua's stomach dropped at the word 'privacy'. He'd almost forgotten about last night.
Did they see us??! he thought, as his face started quickly getting warm. He then thought he could feel Tor'me looking at him from his left, making him redder, until he just looked over past Bran, watching 'John' eyeing everybody. Their eyes met for a moment, making Joshua's eyes dance looking for any space that felt okay to look at.
"Well, speaking of developments," Bran started after some quiet, "...uh... what exactly happened last night?"
Joshua could see 'John' look over more directly after hearing this question. He even seemed to be sitting up straight now, instead of flush against the pod's wall.
...Actually...
'John's been seeming kinda short. Nowhere near as tall as Joshua - or I - remembers him being. Even sitting, Joshua seems...
Taller than him?
"The group did get to the shield last night," Tor'me finally said, making Joshua jump at the sound of his voice and look up to his face.
...Okay, so this guy's still... taller...
"That much I know."
"They're on the ship," It'kara said, leading Joshua's gaze back to them. "Have been since almost all of last night."
Still taller, too.
Wait, what did they say?
"They're still on the ship?" Joshua spoke, the words falling out of his mouth, seeming to startle It'kara.
"Uh, yes," It'kara replied, their voice getting caught in their throat. They cleared it quickly. "Y-yes. They've been doing pretty alright so far, all things considered."
Joshua really didn't like the sound of that. Bran seemed to figure as much, since he turned and gave Joshua some kind of look in his peripheral vision.
"What do you mean by that?" Bran asked, turning back to It'kara.
"They've been adapting to life on the ship," they replied simply.
The pod fell silent again, making Joshua's hairs stand on end. "W-"
"What does that mean?" 'John' stole the question out of Joshua's mouth.
Everyone stared over to him at the sound, making his eyes widen and his body press back against the wall.
...No yeah, he still looks smaller...
A few more seconds of silence pass. Then the pod door opens past It'kara and Tor'me.
"Maybe it'd be better if I showed you?" It'kara suggested as they followed Tor'me out into the ship. Looking back at the others, Joshua could see Bran glaring at 'John' until he sheepishly scooted past them both, almost tripping on the way out the door. Joshua followed behind Bran-
-who definitely doesn't look like his height changed...
-while catching It'kara waving them over to stairs ahead, 'John' getting prodded by Bran to keep ahead all the way over.
...
No yeah, Joshua is just seeing the top of 'John's hair now. What is this shit?
As much as I don't always like hearing from you, I was hoping you'd have some idea.
...
It doesn't seem like anything to worry about. Right now, anyways. Let's keep going. Up the stairs, past the elevator they'd used Joshua's first time here (if it even was the first one...) and up to the overlooking fence above the main area of this part of the ship.
Almost immediately, Joshua saw the pencil pushers, officers and soldiers seemingly everywhere, in groups of their own, or talking to fe'rots and... the much smaller, usually brownish furred aliens.
...should really ask for their species name some time...
"Why are they...?" 'John' started asking, but the question trailed off, and everybody looked back to him on the left, waiting for him to continue. But he didn't.
"Same reason you are really," Tor'me replied, making 'John' jump a bit. "They wanted to know what was going on." Tor'me's voice was calm and cool (as far as Joshua could tell), but 'John' leaned away from him while on the railing, his eyes filled with a fear Joshua felt he understood.
...
"Speaking of you," Tor'me continued, making his posture more casual and unguarded. "Now that you're here... what do you want?"
Now 'John' just seemed confused. "What?"
"Do you want to go back down... or are you afraid of what might happen if you do?" Tor'me's voice stayed the same, but the question made Joshua's spine shiver. 'John' seemed to get the same sensation.
"I don't really know," 'John' said. Joshua could swear he could hear his heart speeding up.
"Well if you do stay here, I want you to know I don't plan on hurting you at all." Tor'me started standing straight again, one hand on his hip as his tail swayed to the opposite side before going back to a resting position. Joshua was a bit surprised by the motion, since he likely forgot the fe'rots even had tails. Kept looking away from them or straight at their upper bodies these past few days.
"As long as you behave," Tor'me continued after a few seconds, "we won't have any problems with you. Okay?"
'John' stared up at Tor'me's eyes, then nodded softly. "Yeah," he finished, almost never breaking eye contact.
"Okay," Tor'me softly spoke back. "The doctor coming up from behind you will take you someplace where you can get better accustomed."
'John' slowly turned his head to see a fe'rot shorter than Joshua and a much lighter shade of blue - almost grey - walking toward him with an intricate cane and his free hand almost looking ready to hug him.
The doctor said something in his native language to Tor'me, who nodded, and then tapped their ear after returning their gaze to 'John'. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions," they said, their voice giving them an age I don't think Joshua would've attributed to them initially. "But first, I have questions for you," they finished as they turned back to the direction they came from, grabbing 'John's hand and dragging him slowly to follow. 'John' looked back to the group for only a few seconds before he eventually got out of earshot.
What's gonna happen to him?
"Where's he getting taken?" Joshua asked, looking at Tor'me with uncertainty.
"Rehabilitation," Tor'me simply replied as he turned to look at everyone else. "He'll be in good company, since that's where the other half are right now."
Other--"half?"
The sudden question surprised Tor'me, making his eyes widen. It also seemed to surprise Bran, who had just come up to Joshua's left side. Without an answer to hear, Joshua looked past Tor'me again to see if he could see where that is, maybe see past 'John' and that doctor to catch a glimpse of whatever this 'rehabilitation' was supposed to be.
But they're already gone. Once again.
...
Joshua, I really don't think it's anything to worry about. If everybody else here seems to be doing fine, as you've seen... whatever he's going through will probably be good for him.
...
"Should we go somewhere private?" Bran asked as he looked between Tor'me and It'kara.
"I suppose we should," said It'kara. "My place?"
Bran and Tor'me grunted out a 'yeah', and Joshua just looked between them and It'kara silently. His eyes drifted back to that door a few times while he waited for It'kara to answer. And after a few seconds of It'kara clearly waiting for Joshua to answer first, they turned around and waved everybody their way to the next elevators, moving past that door.
Joshua stole a few more glances at it, hoping to see anything else now that he was briefly closer. Just some more fe'rots and humans moving around, as far as he could tell anyways. "Joshua?" Bran asked from a few yards away, inside the elevator with Tor'me and It'kara peeking out. He didn't even realize he'd been standing still while he was looking. He nearly jumped into a sprint to get into the elevator, just to get everyone to stop looking at him.
"So, what'll happen next?" Bran asked as the doors closed. He glanced up and behind himself to look at It'kara.
"Uh..." It'kara started, lowering their voice. "I think we should wait until we're in my room for that."
"It's only us here," Tor'me replied, similarly keeping his voice low.
"Yes, but I at least want to give them something to eat first." It'kara glanced over to Bran and Joshua, chuckling as the words were came out. Tor'me grunted in agreement, then turned to the opposite door just in time for it to open. It'kara led everyone through both the elevator door and their room's door, took off their shoes(sandals?) and started making something on the cook top. Joshua and Bran sat at the table after taking their shoes off while Tor'me stood next to It'kara, glancing at what they were making.
"Ah, Sarah liked that, right?" He said.
"Yeah," It'kara replied, "and I think you will, too," they finished, glancing over to Joshua and Bran.
"What is it?" Bran asked, trying to tilt his head up to see what they were working on while sitting down.
"She called it Black Bean soup," It'kara replied. Their voice came out differently around 'black bean', with another accent covering the one Joshua had grown accustomed to. "Not the kind of texture or flavor you've gotten with our uh... flav'ra," It'kara continued, briefly gesturing up to their right to a cupboard holding more of those white dough-fruit balls... or flav'ra I suppose, "but it's filling, and might be more familiar to you!"
...
"What was that?"
The question made everyone, It'kara, Tor'me and Bran look over to Joshua.
"What was what?" It'kara responded, in confusion.
"That thing that happened with your voice."
Nobody responded. Joshua tried to explain further. "When you said that, 'black bean', your voice changed. And then again, with... flav'ra?"
"Oh!" It'kara replied in understanding, turning away from the pot. The spoon they'd been using to stir had been pushed to the opposite side towards Tor'me, who took the opportunity to walk to It'kara's right and stir while they focused on Bran and Joshua. "I thought I'd told you about it?"
"About what?"
"Actually, yeah, I'm not sure if I understand it either. I mean, I had an idea..." Bran added, leaning into the table.
"Well then," It'kara continued, clasping their hands together, "the translators we've been using to talk to you... when we do that, it's entirely one-sided. I'm not speaking you're language, the translator does it's best to take the words I'm actually using and fit them to Galvan- sorry, English.. and some words, like 'black bean' don't have an equivalent for us. So me saying 'black bean' is me actually saying 'black bean', so my natural way of speaking comes out better in an instance like that."
"But then why didn't that happen with Galvana?" Bran asks.
"Well, that got added in early. It was an important word at the time, and so it was high on the priority list. In fact," It'kara chuckled, scratching their neck a little, "since we now know that you're all speaking English and not Galvanan, we're working to re contextualize the vocabulary we've built up. Better early than late!" Another chuckle, and they turned back to the pot. "Do you want to...?" they asked to Tor'me, quietly.
"I'm okay," Tor'me replied normally. "I watched her do it when she made it for us."
"Alright." It'kara turned back to the table. "Is that the first time you've asked me something like that Joshua?"
...
Yeah, actually. You've usually been pretty incurious towards them.
"I guess it was, yeah," Joshua replied, softly smiling and turning his eyes to Bran, who was softly smiling at him as well.
It'kara laughed, startling Joshua and returning his attention towards them. "Well, do you have any other questions while we wait for this to get done?"
...
The worries of privacy worm their way back to Joshua's attention. "Uh..." he began, trying to form the blob of questions he had into something he could actually say. "You said earlier that you had 'been keeping an eye' on us." He started rubbing his hands together nervously. "How..." the words caught in his throat, making him cough. "How much were you able to see of us last night?"
It'kara's eyes widened as Joshua finished his question, and Tor'me looked up from the pot with his eyebrow raised.
"Ah," It'kara said weakly. "Yes, I wanted to mention this to you two earlier," they continued as their gaze fell to the floor, then wandered around the room, "but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. The places we look down at Galvana from don't just have telescopic view - like, they don't just zoom in - they can also... uh, see things we ordinarily wouldn't be able to. Now, we haven't been using many features besides zooming in all that much because of that commitment to privacy. But..." they fell quiet for a few seconds, and Tor'me eased his lean onto the cook top, almost standing straight. "I decided to keep... a closer eye on you two, for the sake of making sure nothing bad happened to you."
Joshua glanced over to Bran, seeing vague concern on his face.
"And... one of those 'features' I mentioned makes it possible to... effectively see through walls."
Now Joshua's heart was picking up speed as he started panicking. It'kara noticed, and raised their arms and stepped forward a bit.
"But we stopped when we realized that we were overstepping a boundary!" Their voice was raised a bit, trying to keep Joshua calm as much as they might've been trying to keep themself calm. "That is not something we intend to do again, I promise."
"You saw us..." Bran started, standing up from his chair, "You saw us together?"
"Only for a brief moment! And I know that doesn't really fix anything, but..."
As Joshua also stood up, the heat draining from his face, It'kara stopped talking again, and their face began to change as well. Like they had their own questions about Joshua and Bran's reactions.
"What are you gonna do with us?" Joshua finally asked, his voice starting to break.
It'kara's silence continued. And then, after a few more seconds, their entire body jumped in realization.
"Nothing. Nothing!" They shook their hands quickly in reassurance. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize this might be a taboo for you two! We're not going to do anything to you!"
...
Now confusion filled Joshua's head. "What?" he asked after finding his breath.
"Oh, I should've talked about this as soon as I got you two in here!" It'kara continued. "Well, I at least know there are some vague similarities in, uh... 'love' between our different species, I should've thought about this harder!" They palmed their head for a split second. "We do not have any issues with your relationship! Absolutely none!"
...Joshua felt... well whatever you'd call it, it was a mix of relief and fear. He wasn't sure how to take this sentiment.
They didn't have a problem with... any of what Joshua and Bran have been hiding - have been trying to hide in Galvana for their entire lives?
"Really?" Bran said, making Joshua glance between him and the other two.
"Yeah," Tor'me spoke up, continuing to stir the soup. "Should have told you something about that. Cause, I'm... uh, I'm similar in that regard." Seeing a need for clarification on Bran and Joshua's faces, he continued. "As in, I don't feel limited in my ability to love someone. Regardless of those kinds of circumstances, if that makes sense."
Bran started walking towards them, giggling uncontrollably. "Rea- Really?"
"I promise," It'kara replied, starting to chuckle themself.
"Oh," Bran exclaimed. "Oh, you have no idea how nice that is to hear!" Bran falls into a tight embrace onto It'kara, who hesitates before returning the gesture. That entire side of the room fills with laughter, and a warmth even Joshua can feel.
...
Joshua, it's okay. Everything's going alright right now.
...
...
...