Happy Retirement!

Dear (Redacted)

As you celebrate your retirement today and await your imminent departure to (insert backward southern state),  I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the impact you've had on my life and career these past couple of years. 

While we may not have always seen eye-to-eye, I want to acknowledge the important role you've played in shaping my professional journey this year.

I remember  my first week here when I went to you asking for any specific ideas you may have for bringing your Redacted) class under control, and your immediate response was, “what’s a matter, you can’t handle a bunch of Redacted)?” I knew right then and there that you were going to be one of the folks to make a positive impact in my teaching life at Redacted.   It was also humorous to find out that you continuously had problems controlling your own classes…!

This was followed over the last two years by endless “suggestions” of how I should conduct my classes,  including but not limited to:

-Checkout procedures

-Curriculum

-Book Choices

-Blaming me for the canceling of Redacted)

-Manufacturing a fake conversation that I allegedly had with a student (with such amazing detail for a 5 year old!)  and then having  a parent send it verbatim directly to the Superintendent of Schools asking him how asking how I could be allowed to be a teacher here? 

-Searching my personal space and desk and copying my schedule while I was out sick for the day (this was confirmed by my Union Rep!)

-Your complete disappearance this year from the library period despite it not being a prep period (as well as instructing other teachers to accompanying you in doing the same!- again confirmed)

These experiences have stayed with me and continue to influence my approach to elementary school library.

 Your guidance, expertise, and mentorship have been invaluable, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to have worked with you.

Of course, we haven't always seen eye-to-eye on everything, and there have been times when our differences have caused tension.

 However, I believe that these disagreements have ultimately made me a stronger and more thoughtful professional.

As you move into this new chapter of your life, I hope you take time to celebrate your accomplishments and enjoy the freedom that retirement brings. 

You've earned it!

I wish you all the best as you embark on this new adventure, and I hope our paths will cross again in the future.

Congratulations on your retirement!

And while I may have suggested that you finally get some professional help for your Narcissistic Personality Disorder before you drive everyone around completely insane, out of professional curtesy I kept my mouth shut.  

In thanks for these and all your other blessings you have bestowed upon me, I have made a  large donation to “The Church of Satan’s After School Programs” in your name and hope that you enjoy your celebratory placard and display proudly for all your guests to see. 

Sincerely,

[Redacted)

https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/after-school-satan