Evolutionary Psych Haikus!

As part of the NEEPScast, we are asking (starting in February of 2019) guests to come up with an evolutionary psychology Haiku. Three lines - with the first line as five syllables, the second line as seven syllables, and the final line as five syllables. For your enjoyment, these haikus are documented here.

Catherine Salmon:

My dad was absent

I'm having casual sex

Fast life history

------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain Dorito

Super normal stimuli

America's ass

Maryanne Fisher*:

Here is my hot phenotype

Some say that I look real ripe

So you must choose me

Let your desire free

On Tinder give me a swipe

Daniel Kruger:

As shown by NEEPS

Including Darwin evolves

Our psychology

Sarah Hill:

Understanding minds

Requires knowing the purpose

For which they were made

Daniel Glass:

Natural selection

And many other forces

Made our minds this way

Gordon Gallup:

Fat, pain, and fever

Nail-biters always prevail

Be retrospective

Gregg Murray:

Oh, please poli sci

Hear the evidence why, ye

Must know evo psy!

Becky Burch*:

There once was a conference named NEEPS

That was filled with such marvelous peeps

That when we all went,

We would squeal and present

Advancing science by bounds and leaps

Laura Johnsen:

From cell to footprints

First to roam from sea to earth

We are Darwin's pride

Glenn Geher:

All of life evolves

Behavior is natural

The rest is details


*Limerick instead of Haiku!