My Story with Dr. Jean Chen and MS:

My Full Story with All the Evidence:

As proof of my complete honesty, I am disclosing every document, that I have (including internal UofT documents from high-level UofT admins), to show the UofT community my horrible mind-blowing story is based on undeniable facts. You can see all my documents HERE (MirrorLink1, MirrorLink2, MirrorLink3), and all documents that I have gotten from UofT HERE (MirrorLink1, MirrorLink2, MirrorLink3). I am also using cross-reference inside the below file for the most important documents and people that are involved which includes many of the highest-level UofT admins (Including the UofT President, Vice-President, and many more). I confirm the word-by-word validity of this document to the best of my current knowledge and understanding.

Dear Members of the UofT Community,

It is hard, beyond words, for me to widely share something as personal as my horrible mind-blowing, story. This is a major embarrassment for UofT, and within my capacity, I have resorted to anything imaginable to not come to this point for many reasons. Sadly, partly given my own limitations that are being inhumanly misused against me, nothing has worked and the inhuman situation hasn’t changed and I can’t think of another way to get help besides giving my detailed story publicity. In doing so, I am hoping: 1) to draw large-scale attention to my case to get help from UofT/my supervisor, 2) to convince and pressure UofT to investigate the validity of all my own claims, 3) to try to make sure no UofT student ever goes through what I went again, by sharing my story and giving it publicity. There was no one to listen to my concerns or investigate my claims, no one to support me even a little bit, and I felt constantly helpless throughout this terrible story, all the time. This is while I asked everyone imaginable in UofT for help countless times as you will see. This should change.

I started my Ph.D. in January 2018, hosted in Baycrest hospital and as part of the Department of Medical Biophysics (MBP), University of Toronto (UofT) as an international student from Iran and a winner of the Scholars-at-Risk Fellowship (given to 1-2 international students per year by SGS) in 2018. This is a human-rights-based Scholarship and requires very specific conditions for the student to be even eligible to apply. I was placed in Dr. Jean Chen’s lab, who is a Baycrest Senior Scientist and (status only) associate professor in UofT with primary affiliation at the Department of Medical Biophysics and cross-appointment in IMS and IBME.

Context to My Story:

Before I start my own story, there were a few incidents in our lab that happened before my main story begins, those were completely unrelated to me but worth mentioning as they are related to the story that I want to start talking about.

In April 2018, in my first few days in Dr. Chen’s lab after rotation, to my surprise, Dr. Chen dismissed another Iranian student that was starting his Ph.D. with me, under strange inhuman circumstances (his name was “Mehdy Dousty”) despite her written promises that she will continue with him as her Ph.D. student. It was me and him that were supposed to work on our PhDs with Dr. Chen that semester. Both of Jean’s postdocs (Dr. Saleh Shama and Dr. Aras Kayvanrad) and myself politely talked to Dr. Chen, about Mehdy, several times in private, as the way she dismissed the student was inhuman and put the student in a very hard position (losing his visa, etc) given his international status. But Jean didn’t change her mind and Mehdy got kicked out of the program, anyway. I am aware he spoke with several of the Department admins about Dr. Chen’s inhuman breaking of her commitment, but nothing changed. Dr. Chen told me not to respond to him anymore and inform her if he contacted me but I still did talk to him a few more times though there was nothing that I can do for him (despite my willingness to help) as Jean wasn’t listening to me and was getting very angry even talking about him.

In May 2019, Jean dismissed yet another one of her trainees (a Postdoc named “Dr . Aras Kayvanrad”) just one day after she had some disagreement with him over the order of authors in a prospective paper through polite email exchanges. It was dramatic as Jean got extremely angry and forced all of her students to send her any evidence that possibly can be used against him as she wanted to have written documentation apparently (???) and talked to all her lab, even people that barely knew him like volunteers, one by one telling them he is dangerous and even sexist and racist and should be reported to security if he comes around the lab. Dr. Chen repeated these allegations on several occasions even in emails. We (students) knew this is not true and Jean is just extremely emotional and angry. She asked all of us verbally and in emails that if we saw him again we should call security and verbally told me she has asked for a committee in Baycrest to investigate Jean’s allegations against him and even told me verbally to lock my door as Aras may come and break my stuff as some form of revenge from Jean since he is unstable(I knew this was impossible and just Jean was over-reacting out of emotions and wanted to dehumanize him). Dr. Chen even had sent mass emails about him to, God knows, how many people, to the point that even my Master’s supervisor (back in Iran!) that barely knew him had received one of Jean’s emails. In her emails, she was saying Aras has inappropriate behavior! I know because my past supervisor told me this and he was surprised why did Jean reach out to him (!). I again feel it was a systematic effort solely motivated by hate/anger to dehumanize him. I know Jean had even contacted his Ph.D. supervisor with the same allegations (Prof. Terry Peters as Jean verbally told me) after dismissal. As we were close back then, Jean one time even suddenly messaged me on Slack that she is in the elevator and Aras just entered by implying she is worried (I showed her message to other students and we laughed as we back then were just thinking her extreme overreaction towards Aras is very funny but it was not!). She also in front of several students mentioned she is worried Aras may go scratch her car! I feel those events only were intended to defame him on a very large scale and spread the false rumor that he was crazy/aggressive/unstable and sadly Dr. Chen seemed to be motivated to damage his whole life after dismissal as well. Me and other students saw this as an extremely irrational, emotional over-reaction from Jean and never saw anything unusual/aggressive from Dr. Kayvanrad ever, before or after dismissal. But as even bringing his name was making Dr. Chen very angry, we (students) learned not to even talk about him in front of Dr. Chen ever.

In late summer 2019, Jean had continuous conflicts with yet another Master student named “Azin Esmaeilbeigi” to the point that her committee (and at least one of the main department admins that I am aware of) got involved. Azin, in front of her whole lab (students) several times was complaining about Jean’s threat of dismissal and we all considered this an inhuman threat. The conflict was in a way that sometimes she was crying in front of everyone in the lab over Jean’s treatment of her and her harsh tone. Jean had also told me in some slack messages that I am her target (In Slack, I have written proof) and I was trying to not talk or even interact with her in front of Jean as Jean had warned me implicitly ( Azin was my friend and I was very friendly with her, always). As I was close to Jean personally back then, I even tried to intervene (Jean initially resisted a lot) and successfully alleviated the situation to some level, by talking to Jean to be more lenient with Azin, though I know, Jean really doesn’t like someone talking to her about her treatment of her other students and she gets very angry. Still, Jean shortly afterward drafted a lab-specific code of student conduct, with arguable one-sided terms in it, in response to continuous conflicts in her lab (She directly told me in Slack this is not against me and me and Jordan are different, implying it is against Azin!) as she possibly was thinking the problem is with the trainees and asked all students to sign it. I actually was the only student that at first, wanted to sign it given my close relationship with Jean at the time (at some point I’d told Jean I will sign it) as I didn’t think Jean will ever hurt me (maybe others, but not me!), but changed my mind after talking to other students that were not willing to sign it. The department vice-chair Prof. John Sled, and Baycrest Vice-President, Ms. Jean Lazarus, also got involved after we (students) informed Jean we want them to get involved and they had meetings with all of us, and eventually Jean agreed she legally can’t force us to sign it and none of us signed it. As I had a very good relationship with Jean and didn’t want to break her heart over this, I even spoke to Jean alone in a super friendly way to make sure she understands we extremely respect her as our supervisor but some of those terms are very unfair and asking us to sign it is unnecessary as it brings legal obligations for us. There were already documents like the student-supervisor agreement to cover essential things. This was around late summer 2019 and early winter 2019. There was another minor thing, in which Dr. Chen took an RA named Mr. Shreyas Harita in the winter of 2018 giving him the prospect of turning this into his Ph.D. with Jean ( in Sep 2019 as he already had an IMS Ph.D. admission). Dr. Chen obtained the IMS affiliation apparently to take him, but changed her mind at last and didn’t take the student though the student wanted her as his supervisor. Still, he was able to find another supervisor.

My own Ph.D. was based on my own ideas and it was similar in nature to what I had done for my M.Sc. degree, so I already knew most of the basics and many of the details. It was also kind of similar to what Dr. Chen had done for her own Ph.D. years ago in Mcgill so I was thinking it is the perfect topic. I told Dr. Chen about it and she approved it as my PhD project. All the main ideas and elements of my Ph.D. were mine but I had Jean’s support and if I wanted to ask Dr. Chen something or just tell her what I had done and what I think and consult her she was available to meet me. She had told me many times she is proud I am able to come up with my Ph.D. myself and though I was getting nervous sometimes (being always a bit nervous is my personality!) that things may not work out in the end (as most things were solely my own ideas and I don’t have much experience), but my Ph.D. was working well overall and Jean was very happy with me working independently. I was extremely hard working. I was working around 70-80 hours per week; coming to Baycrest at around 7:30-8 am always and many times even sooner (I had insomnia for some time so wasn’t sleeping a lot anyway!). Just as an example, I am almost sure I have used the MRI scanner in Baycrest from mid-2018 to mid-2019 to scan my phantom and subjects, more than all the other scientists and research groups in Baycrest combined. So it was really hard work. Jean was saying she hasn’t seen a student as motivated as me in her life and I was enjoying the topic of my Ph.D. a lot. I also don’t have family in Toronto and Baycrest hosts just 3-4 students from our department so it was lonely sometimes and I was filling this with hard work. Also, as such, I used to ask Jean my questions related to life in Canada and talk to her in a friendly way a bit more than usual. We were constantly in touch in Slack. As long as I was her student, I am sure she wasn’t close with anyone like me and it was very obvious, so all her lab knows this.

One more thing about me is that I have a very emotional personality and really can only see good things in people, always fully trust in people that I know and assume they are kind, and always assume their mistakes are unintended and won’t get repeated. Jean had told me she is unhappy about what happened to Aras, Mehdy, etc and explicitly told me in Slack she doesn’t want to dismiss any other trainee after Aras as he was gifted, so I was able to ignore those events and continue to fully trust her as she seemed unhappy about those events. I myself had a very close relationship with Jean, and as I was very hardworking and was working independently and always had new scientific results (I had organized new results in slides 2-3 times per week, my labmates and even Jean can testify), Jean was obviously always happy with me and there was nothing from her perspective to complain about. None of the conflicts in her lab in 2018-2019 were related to me in any way and indeed Jean specifically kept telling me I am a student that is different from all the other [trouble makers!], I am very talented and she is proud of my Ph.D. I was so close to Jean that a few times I saw all the students go to lunch without even telling me and when I asked why, I was told as I am too close to Jean they didn’t want me to hear things that they say at lunch (I don’t think good things were being said about her in those events). Even for her lab-specific code of conduct, Jean had told me about it long before other students (but I told them in private) and had asked my opinion. I was also the only student that was always in the lab day and night so if Jean had any questions about anything lab-related or anyone she was many times calling me (Our lab manager, Jacob Matthews as well).

In my first 2-years in Dr. Chen’s lab, I was also always working on 2-3 side projects aside from my main Ph.D. simultaneously and, I was able to come up with my Ph.D. myself and had very good academic standing (formally proven by SGS and my Ph.D. committee) and an extremely good and friendly relationship with Dr. Chen. I’ve even given Dr. Chen and her family very expensive handmade gifts from Iran as another proof of our close personal relationship and she had told me that her family really liked them (her husband’s family is also Iranian like me). I won multiple other scholarships from Baycrest and UofT in my first two years and had a good academic situation. I am the kind of student that my Ph.D. is literally, my everything (Jean knows that and kept telling me she wants to buy me a bed in the lab as a joke!) and I was working in the lab all the time even on weekends and Jean knew that very well given my huge productivity and our constant communication on Slack. We were calling each other friends on Slack many times (after doing something for each other we were telling this is what friends do for each other!) and she had told me in emails many things like I am the student that belongs to her lab and it doesn’t happen with every student and supervisor. She had many times told me on Slack things like as I am international and very hardworking, she is more than others committed to supporting me and she is very proud. I really value this kind of support from my supervisor and respected her and liked her for constantly saying these things even if those words stop short from fully turning into action. I myself (alone) held Dr. Chen a Birthday party in Baycrest in Dec 2019 and paid for everything including the cake myself, and forced other students to show up for her birthday as another proof of our good and close personal relationship and her lab knows I was very respectful of her as my supervisor and we were very friendly. My only criticism to her related to my own PhD was that all the main elements (framework) of my PhD was solely on my own shoulder and it was sometimes making me very nervous. Although, despite my good relationship with her, I still was able to understand that overall, Jean only likes students that are totally independent and don’t need much low-level scientific guidance. Also given her interactions mostly with her other students (Aars, Azin, and Mehdy) I was able to see sometimes she gets emotional or angry way too much and way too quickly and even tries to get rid of people and defame them out of anger, as a form of revenge using inhuman ways (I saw this with the way she treated Aras). Her treatment of Aras was strange and scary for me. But I also knew any anger eventually passes by and I was trying to be always super hardworking and independent and cautious and super polite and not make her angry hoping those events never get repeated.

My Main Story:

After I very successfully passed my qualifying exam in late 2019, in early January 2020, sadly, I very suddenly started to feel very serious neurological symptoms and it started by feeling weakness in my both legs leading to serious difficulty walking for some days and weakness in my left hand and went ahead with things like tremors, numbness, tingling, severe fatigue, pain in my eye, difficulty moving my neck, strange heat sensitivity, etc. It was/is very scary as I couldn’t even hold my phone with my left hand due to weakness in a matter of days. I saw several doctors and after ruling out several possibilities I was told this is likely Multiple Sclerosis (MS), a progressive incurable autoimmune disease, although a Neurologist has yet to give the final confirmation after even more tests.

I was really ill with serious symptoms and got very extremely scared at this point, finding out this is likely MS. Sadly, my own Ph.D. was related to MS detection with MRI and I knew how MS affects the body. My family in Iran has a unique situation so I decided not to make them worried at first. I initially called Dr. Chen over the phone on a weekend around mid-January 2020 and told her I am scared as almost for sure I have gotten MS and I have serious symptoms already that are affecting me and I am scared for my future and I don’t know what to do now as an international student. Over the phone, Jean seemed very nice and said her sister-in-law (Shereen) also has MS but she can still work as a lecturer two years after MS, so I can continue my Ph.D. with MS as well and she will help me. I asked for her permission to meet her on Jan 16th to show her my exact situation in person and for us to discuss how should I continue my Ph.D. with illness (I don’t have family in Toronto). Understandably, I got very emotional in front of her and even cried for some time (even asked to hold her hands for some time) and even asked for a bit of verbal, emotional, support. I insisted Dr. Chen give me super strong promises that she won’t dismiss me for illness and will continue her full support even if I can only work in a limited way so that I can get my Ph.D. I was emotional and I told her my family has serious issues and can’t even support me but she is like my family in Toronto and I even have issues with insurance given my international status and I am very scared. She appeared nice to me and insisted I have her full support as I am a student she is proud of. I said I am also scared about not being able to do anything useful after my Ph.D. due to illness so she should make sure I won’t lose my PhD. I showed her all my symptoms and things like my left hand that was weak and I couldn’t hold my own phone and I had lost sensation and weakness in my both legs and hand and even had visible tremors. I said my Ph.D. is my everything and this is super extremely important for me and I just want this one single thing from her to help me with. She strongly promised me and we shook hands over this several times. She seemed nice and supportive to me back then. I trusted Jean and told her about this as I needed her help but I strongly told Dr. Chen to not inform anyone about my illness as I don’t want others to know I have a rare incurable illness (I have written evidence for this) and after seeing my condition in person, she also agreed I should drop the semester for now and drop my courses to get immediate treatment first, as my illness was serious, but she confirmed with her honor that she will kindly accommodate my situation and helps me as things move on. I talked about my several half-finished papers in very final stages and she promised to help me finish them. I think as I was very hard working my PhD was 75% done at this point after just 2 years, so I was close to the end. I later realized, that she had also gotten scared as I was very ill, and right that day, Dr. Chen had informed UofT Student Crisis Response Team (see this, Ms. Ashley Fleming), my co-supervisor Dr. Kamil Uludag and at least one of the Department admins (Ms. Merle Casci) that I have likely gotten MS and I already have MS-specific symptoms. Dr. Chen agreed for me to go back to Iran to be with my family and get treatment for now by seeing an MS specialist. One day before my flight, I said goodbye to Dr. Chen and my two labmates (Jordan and Azin, and I told them I likely have gotten MS and have symptoms) and went to Dr. Chen’s office for like 20-30 minutes just to reassure myself that there is no way on earth that she is going to cut off her support due to my illness as I have other serious family issues as well and I am an international student (I was even UofT’s Scholar-at-Risk). I can remember that I said I only want to properly get my Ph.D. and this is what I care about now and she guaranteed to help me again. I told her I can’t continue if she backs down and she said she surely won’t (I have written evidence as well). We again shook hands over it. Dr. Chen was aware that one day after my arrival in Iran I’d booked an appointment with an MS specialist in an MS clinic. I booked this from Toronto. The problem with seeing Neurologist in Toronto was the very long wait time and I was not able to find a doctor that can see me in less than 5 months in Toronto but in Iran, I was able to book an MS Specialist very quickly.

MS is very unpredictable and it oscillates a lot and in Feb 2020, I was very ill and waiting for the final diagnosis based on many tests while knowing this is very likely MS as my symptoms got even worse. I was in bed most of the time due to serious MS symptoms and really scared. In the next few days after my arrival, I only informed Dr. Chen that I have gotten more ill and asked her many times to pray for me. She at first was still nice and told me to tell my mother she is very proud and will support me. I also told her the reason I am reaching her more than usual is that my family is very troubled and can't help me much. Jean was still friendly with me. In Feb 2020, I surely wanted to work on my Ph.D., but I was able to work only very slowly (like 1-2 hours per day) due to illness, and my little communications with Dr. Chen were mostly related to MS and its progression. MS final diagnosis usually takes time but in mid-Feb 2020, I was ill and very emotional and told Dr. Chen in Slack messages I am now completely sure this is MS given all the information and my current serious symptoms like weakness, tingling and severe fatigue (she already knew my symptoms) and what the Neurologist said and I continue to have serious issues and may need to use a wheelchair soon as my condition is not improving. I emotionally mentioned to Dr. Chen that I surely need extra support from her to continue my Ph.D. but I still can and want to slowly work on my Ph.D with illness. This is the day that I very strongly feel, sadly, Dr. Chen switched her behavior with me as I think she got sure this is a very serious condition and I really need extra time and support from her and can’t work totally independently like before. To me, it is like, I know two different versions of her, one before this day, that was supportive and proud of me, and one after this day, that is just full of hate towards me due to my illness that is out of my control. Continue reading and you will see.

Right after this, her tone severely changed with me and she mentioned to me for the first time, right away, with a threatening tone (she was nice before this), that I should back up all my data and codes right now, otherwise, I will be in a bad situation! as I know her very well, she was implying indirectly that she is considering to assign my Ph.D. to another healthy student. I was ill but sent her stuff that was easy to send like the final version of my figures for my paper etc on Slack. After I sent those to her on Slack I saw they all disappeared from Slack. I asked her on Slack about this, she said she has deleted them as Slack gets full. I don’t think this was the reason and I got suspicious of this answer. Right away, she sent me a long slack message that given my illness if I want to graduate I should start talking to Profs. John Sled and Simon Graham (none of them were even members of my supervisory committee) and tell them I am ill as my illness is serious. I refused and told Jean I am a good student and implied she is responsible for supporting me herself according to her obligation and her promises after my illness. She indirectly implied to me in Slack that I am not fit to continue in academia anymore and asked me in Slack to finish my Ph.D. ASAP (I was in the program for less than 2 years) which I told her I can’t as it is impossible. I even asked her with a begging tone to let me submit my latest paper to a lower impact Journal (still acceptable) as, given my condition, I have limitations now. She disagreed and mentioned she doesn’t owe me anything as I am ill and implied she won’t provide any illness-based accommodations even if I can’t graduate as I should not hide behind my illness (I have written evidence). As I was ill and very emotional I got way too nervous as I was totally counting on her to be very kind to me. Day by day, it was getting almost clear to me that as my illness is serious she is sadly backing down but only wants my paper and my US patent before getting rid of me. I was able to understand that she is thinking about finalizing my papers and patents before getting rid of me as those were almost in the very final stage and were high-quality work. I was very seriously ill with MS, couldn’t walk, had tremors and severe tingling and fatigue, and was way too nervous about what she was doing to me after so many promises and really unsure what to do next. I needed her support but she was just hateful for no reason. I sent several emotional messages to beg her for a change of tone given my critical situation and a real need for extra support and compassion but she no longer was responding like before the illness and was mentioning if I am ill she won’t respond. I told her I am depressed and nervous but she didn’t care. This was really heartbreaking for me that she was not responding to me anymore as I was completely counting on her support as I wanted to slowly work on my Ph.D. I was a super productive student before my illness starts and should have gotten supported.

Just a few days later, on March 1st, 2020, just around one month after I went to Dr. Chen’s office and she guaranteed not to dismiss me with all her honor, all of a sudden, she sent her first mass email to all department admins and my whole supervisory committee to imply my dismissal by stating she feels she is not the right supervisor for me (see this for details). She mentioned I have an illness in her emails and implied it is a serious illness without naming the illness. She also mentioned she no longer responds to my direct messages and if I am ill I should take medical leave and can't continue my Ph.D. ( MS is lifelong and incurable, she very surely knows that). I got too shocked and too scared and Department was also shocked as they maybe didn’t know about MS and we never ever had any issue and my Ph.D. was working very well. The next day, I also implied to her I have a physical disability and making me nervous may cause me permanent damage (stress is the main cause of MS attack that causes permanent physical disability) and asked her to be considerate of my health but in response, she made fun of my disability by implying if I am disabled I should not think about continuing my Ph.D. and she CC’d other people like my co-supervisor in her email (see this for details). I got too scared and nervous about her hate and using my illness to make fun of me. I stopped talking to her about my physical disability anymore as she was making fun of my illness and embarrassing me with a hateful tone in front of others. I begged her to reconsider and be kind given my illness and I got faced with her unexpected hatred. In the next few days she even indirectly sent me emails through our lab manager that I may not be sent to a conference in which I had already accepted abstracts and she already had told me she sends me before my illness. I mentioned to the department we have no real issue and thought I can soften her heart, by begging, but I was not successful. She wasn’t responding anymore. Even asking for her help in a heartbreaking way didn’t change her approach.

Without even telling me why in the following days Dr. Chen was refusing to even meet with me (I was still able to work slowly for like 2-3 hours per day, despite MS), she blocked me and restricted me from all lab social media with no explanation (Slack, Twitter, etc), and asked me to not attend virtual lab meetings as I am not allowed. Even asked other students not to send me invitation links for lab meetings as I am not allowed to attend. I was super nervous and scared of her reactions and she wasn't responding to my requests to talk about this or any issue that she is thinking of. She wasn’t responding. She asked me to not even send her direct emails any more as she won’t respond. I still don’t know besides hate ,what else, could have been the reason. We had very little communication from this point forward but she also right away started asking me to only document my latest research and back up all my latest results on the lab server right now otherwise we can’t work together anymore (She even CC’d Baycrest head of research and Baycrest IT) and I very highly suspected and got scared that these are related to my imminent formal dismissal so that the next healthy student starts smoothly using my detailed documentation. She had never asked me to document material related to my own Ph.D. even once before MS and I knew very well she only insists on documentation when she is considering to kick out someone. I begged her very hard many times to treat me normally and let me continue my Ph.D. and let me attend virtual lab meetings like other students but she wasn’t responding. She many times was refusing to meet me while she was meeting even summer students and volunteers, weekly. One time, she sent the invitation link to the lab meeting to everyone and I was also able to get it so I asked her, am I allowed? Surprisingly she responded and said, “I can”. I got extremely happy and joined the lab meeting right away, like other students but she removed me at the beginning without me telling one word, right at the start of the meeting, in front of everyone, telling them I am not allowed to attend. She just sent me an email afterward saying she has made a mistake and meant I “can’t” by saying “I can” out of a mistake. I feel it was only intended to humiliate me to the maximum extent out of hate, and it really did. I told her I am ill and very lonely during COVID and she had cut off all my relations to the lab and begged she reconsiders but she was full of hate for me and was never even responding except for matters related to data backup that she wanted before my dismissal. My illness was still unchanged and I had serious issues.

Around this time, I was filing my US patent as well. This was one of the rare topics that Dr. Chen was still responding to my emails as the patent was done and only very minor work had remained. After illness, I had told Dr. Chen I want to be involved as this Patent is my own idea but she wasn’t telling me anything and I wasn’t in the loop at all. In March-April 2020, I sent an email to the Baycrest innovation office myself (that was filing the patent) to include me in the email communications as I want to know stuff related to my own patent (email to Alexandra Moghaddam). After they sent me the documents, I saw Jean’s name comes first though this patent was solely my own idea and my name was first in the provisional patent. I had used resources from Dr. Chen’s lab and used her direct support but the conceptualization was mine from scratch. I asked Dr. Chen politely, can I put my own name first as it was my idea and also politely asked her what is the percent contribution (just politely asked!). She got very angry and implied she no longer financially supports this patent and then sent an email to Baycrest so they remove her name. I found out she is angry and got very scared that she cancels the patent and begged her very extremely hard not to do this and sent emails to Baycrest that Jean’s name should be on the patent (I was very scared of her). See this file for all evidence. I still don’t know what happened to this patent for sure as Dr. Chen and Baycrest don’t respond to me anymore. Either Baycrest stole my idea or it got canceled; I am unsure.

Sadly, out of hate, Jean even restricted my Slack account and removed me from lab Slack channels and I was not able to contact my co-supervisor anymore (I was talking to him on Slack before these events). I asked her why and she said if I am unhappy I can create my own Slack channel (she was only responding when she wanted to tell me something hateful). I also asked what is the reason that she has already blocked me from lab social media accounts like Lab's Twitter account (@JeanChenLab) though I did nothing wrong (I had no interaction with her on Twitter). She only implied indirectly she hates me and that is why. I had a main collaborator in France named Dr. Thomas Christen, and as Jean was not supervising me anymore (only asking me to document things), I came up with an idea and contacted him to answer my questions and help me publish a paper (didn’t tell him about my illness). I mentioned to Dr. Chen that I am trying to work on a paper with Dr. Christen. She right away contacted him with a threatening email and implied to him not to work with me anymore on this paper (see this for details). That paper got canceled after Dr. Chen’s email to him to not work with me, though I had done most of the work related to it already.

At this point, illness aside, I was so extremely frustrated and upset and confused and in total shock over what to do. I was way too nervous about this situation with MS on top as Jean was treating me with only hate in stark difference from her friendly treatment of me before MS. My begging emails to her to be human with me were left unanswered or got faced with more hatred. I hadn’t changed but she had changed. She was only responding when she wanted to damage me. I repeatedly told even department admins that she has changed so much that I can’t believe she is the same person as before (I even said in an email that maybe her email has been hacked as I wasn’t able to believe she talks to me with that much hate). I still really can’t believe she is the same person to me as before I get MS. I am not just saying this, this is what I truly can’t absorb and believe. I still expected her help but got hate instead.

I asked department vice-chair Dr. John Sled who always has seemed fair and helpful to me to intervene so that I can talk to Jean in a meeting hoping I can trigger her sense of compassion so she doesn't kick me and treats me without hate (Jean wasn't talking to me directly anymore), but Prof. Sled had some polite arguments against this idea and I didn’t insist (Maybe Jean had told him something!). I even asked Dr. Greg Stanisz (graduate coordinator) as well, but he also said “NO” in a more solid way. Jean was not responding to me directly but I was still thinking as I am unwell with something unique and she knows and I was a very hardworking student, super close to her, I can still soften her heart towards myself somehow. Dr. Stanisz was not very friendly in the way that I expected, so I didn’t insist him more. As I was scared of Jean’s threat of immediate dismissal with MS, if I disagree, I very reluctantly (after some resistance) also started to document the details of my progress and my computer codes so far, for the next student, by basically digging my own grave. I was ill and very nervous and scared but still did it as I was scared of Jean getting even angrier. I knew this is a prelude to my own dismissal but still did it. Also because of MS complications on top, I was continuously super nervous over this situation.

Upon Jean’s request that implied she wants to kick me and pretending we have serious issues, I had an emergency committee meeting in April 2020 (I told the department we have no issue but Jean was insisting we have issues and can’t work together!). Prof. John Sled was added to my committee for this pretended conflict. Again, days before the meeting, Jean sent an email to department admins stating my issue are due to my undisclosed health issue (see here). She kept telling this to everybody and was severely torturing me by this though I’d told her so strongly I don’t want others to know I am ill (I have written evidence). I was constantly very scared that she is gonna tell everyone in the world about my illness at some point to humiliate me. I was so scared these days that couldn't sleep at night with my illness on top. Jean was not meeting with me for weeks before the meeting and I was totally on my own and didn’t even know what to do for the meeting. As I was not even attending lab meetings I also had no idea about who else is in the lab and what is going on. She was only telling me to document my past research which I well knew is to facilitate my own dismissal. In the committee meeting, Dr. Chen again stated in front of all my committee with a hateful tone that she doesn’t want to meet me anymore and stated I am ill in front of them again without my permission and implied I should not continue my studies with her while being ill (I almost started to cry after she said that and during the whole meeting my hands were shaking as I was so so scared of her hateful tone). My supervisory committee disagreed (Prof. John Sled and Kamil Uludag specifically) and stated illness is not related to the committee to decide (Dr. Uludag said this sentence) and implied illness is not a barrier to continuing my studies (unless I physically can’t). Prof. Fa-Hsuan Lin in this meeting, in the end, at some point that Jean left, even implied Jean doesn’t seem likely to keep me as her student so Prof. Sled explained what happens after she kicks me out. I mean it was very obvious she is kicking me out after MS. Jean even said I am ill and just meeting me makes her uncomfortable, which is a super cruel thing to say to a student just faced with a very serious illness. After the meeting, I sent her a begging message to not be like this and told her that I cried due to the super hateful way she treated me by repeated referral to my illness in the meeting but she didn’t respond as usual (She had told me in Slack long before when she was friendly with me that she never wants to treat her students in a way that they end up crying because of her actions!). For several side projects that I was working on Jean took all of them away from me, one by one, with hate, without any explanation and didn’t even agree for us to even talk about them. She was just sending one hateful email that those projects will be assigned to someone else. I begged her to let me, at least, just talk to her before taking my projects away from me but she wasn’t responding as usual after MS. Some of them were partly or totally conceptualized by myself. I insisted to her that I want to continue them but she didn’t respond. I am smart enough to know she wanted to kick me and that is, again, why she was doing all these. In the meantime I kept sending polite, even emotional messages to her, every few days and once in a while, saying I really respect her and really need her support as I have an exceptional situation and I hope she can treat me normally (hoping to soften her heart due to moral reasons) but she was never responding. My reaction was, is, and continues to be total disbelief to this much change in behavior from her. I can’t believe she is the same person that I used to know before MS.

After this, I was mostly on my own, not allowed to attend lab meetings and Jean had already blocked me from lab-social media and was refusing to even respond to most of my emails unless those related to documentation that she needed for the next student. She had taken away all my projects and had asked others like my main collaborator in France not to work with me so I had nothing to work on and was unsure what to do. In May 2020, apparently, Dr. Chen again insisted to SGS that she wants to kick me out (She hadn’t mentioned to SGS about illness and only pretended we have conflict) and SGS also didn’t tell me even a word back then so I disclose my illness formally, to pressure her (I was still in shock over MS and reluctant to formally disclose it but still if I knew something, I would have done it to others). Still, I later realized (after 1.5 years I got some documents from UofT) in her letter to kick me out was indirect mentions of a very serious illness that SGS totally ignores (her letter with my explanation on HERE got rejected, later on, as unacceptable by SGS itself, after an investigation and even SGS concluded she had no valid reason for kicking me after MS). I suppose SGS Vice-Dean and Department Chair have accepted this without even reading her letter as they should have inquired about this extremely unique matter. What breaks my heart is that her first pretended reason is that I ask for emotional support from her. She apparently refers to my 1-2 meetings after MS with her where I got emotional for a few minutes due to illness. Who uses this situation to kick out a Ph.D. student ??? SGS Vice-Dean, Prof. Charmaine Williams, and Department Chair, Prof. Thomas Kislinger, are the ones that should be held responsible as they told me “nothing about this” and didn’t even intervene as apparently, students getting dismissed for rare illnesses were not important to them to bother sending even one email. They did not even reach out to me once !!! No one even told me why, and as usual, I was in the dark as Jean wasn’t talking to me and had blocked me already from most communication channels, but as I sadly already expected she kicked me due to MS in June 2020, without letting me talk to her about my illness once after the day I told her about wheelchair and after a few months of being “informally kicked out”.

The way I realized it was also inhuman and indicative of her hate as she sent me an email a day before (and I got shocked as she wasn't contacting me at all !) and told me I should make her the corresponding author in my paper already under review in a prestigious Journal (NeuroImage) by the end of today (She herself had told me in the past that I should be the corresponding author, her other Ph.D. students are always the corresponding author). I got suspicious and I knew she doesn't want an ill student but still wants my paper and given the deadline I suspected she had already done something to get rid of an ill student (see here and here). I tried to send her polite messages to change her mind but as her issue was my illness this was not something that I can change. Still, I was and I still am in total shock as I can’t adjust my mindset that a PI wants to get rid of a good hard-working student that she is proud of after a rare illness knowing the student has no other source for getting support and after strongest promises in the world for support. I just can’t absorb this. If I were a supervisor not in a million years I would have treated my good talented student with pure hate after MS and I would not have tried to get rid of him for illness with hate but I would have helped him.

The saddest part that directly proves hatred is that I recently got some confidential documents from UofT and realized before kicking me out, Jean had contacted community safety saying I am a threat to her life (???) and she should show my picture to her family (???, maybe as I am allegedly dangerous) and she wants to attend self-defense classes because of my threat (???). This document is the proof. I am sure with my life that I did nothing wrong to deserve this much hate. SGS also formally confirmed later that I did absolutely nothing wrong. I know these are all due to hatred or maybe a well-developed plan to kick me out and indeed, she had done very similar things with her other trainees after kicking him out (like Dr. Aras Kayvanrad) to dehumanize them and humiliate them to the possible extent by ultimate misuse of the student’s misery. All these claims later got formally rejected by SGS in a formal investigation, so these were solely due to hate. I still can’t believe Jean goes this far to get rid of me. She could have just told me as I am ill and emotional she won’t supervise me anymore and give me back my research stuff nicely and let me finish my research with someone else nicely then I was able to switch labs even with MS. Why did she do this with hate? I wondered about this ever since and keep thinking.

Going back to my dismissal, right away, I sent direct emails to Dr. Chen and very politely and emotionally begged her that I really respect her and need her and I want to continue my Ph.D. with her and if she kicks me out with illness and disability and without any real reason, while I am disabled with a unique illness and family situation and international status, I will get destroyed and can’t find another way to continue. She only sent me one email saying that If I contact her again she will call the police and she will kick out all my stuff (including my medical documents) from Baycrest and if I ever go back to Baycrest she asks for me to get arrested by security (!!!???, see her email here). She knew I am ill and I am in Iran!. If this is not hate, then what is hate? As I knew Jean well and as she had already done it with others like her post-doc, Aras and with Mehdy, I was well aware that these are emotions and hate intended to humiliate and harm me to the maximum extent and to pacify her anger. This is similar to the way she usually kicks out her students with hate but hating me is related to my illness as I was a student that she was very proud of before illness and super productive and it has been formally proven later by SGS. Not just me but even my labmates got truly shocked by the hateful tone of her emails after I forwarded them her messages. This is the last email that I’ve ever gotten from her. I begged her to reconsider for human reasons at least given the seriousness of MS (here), but she didn’t respond.

Two days later I sent a short reminder to beg her help and then I got a bounce back email that she has blocked my Gmail as well with some kind of software( here, on everywhere else I was already blocked after I got MS as I mentioned before). I asked a few of our mutual friends like Dr. Ali Golestani (Jean’s former post-doc) that knew I am a good person and respect Jean to talk to her and convince her to change her mind given I have MS and she strongly promised to be kind and not to kick me out but I was told Jean doesn’t agree and she had only told him and others to forward my emails to her and never ever respond to me or disclose her information to me (here). Just like all my other labmates, he still responded to me though. I know Jean didn’t want others to know she had kicked me out after MS as almost everyone knew I was a student with excellent academic standing with a good relationship with Jean so Jean was not even able to justify my dismissal in any imagable way so she was refusing to let people even talk about this to her (Even SGS didn’t agree her claims!).

As Jean’s husband is Iranian (like me) and I already knew him indirectly and I am sure he knew me based on expensive gifts that I had brought for Jean’s family from Iran, I also thought of finding his email to send him an email and ask for his help so he convinces Jean but I couldn’t reach him despite an extensive search to get his email or any trace of him (!). It so badly crushed me that she reacted with dramatic hate that I haven’t absorbed the situation as of yet, as I only expected support from her. MS is really hard and I only deserve help.

I asked Prof. Allison Sekuler (VP of research in Baycrest) and later Profs. Rosanna Olsen, Jennifer Ryan, and Ms. Jean Lazarus to informally intervene to alleviate the situation but they didn’t agree and apparently only forwarded my emails to Jean. Prof. Sekuler referred me to SGS and implied she won’t informally intervene. Even saying I have MS didn’t convince them to even respond to me once! My labmates told me, just minutes after my email to Jean about MS and telling her it will damage her reputation if she kicks me out for MS (this one), she has sent an email to the whole current and former lab members claiming I have been kicked out as I have violated specific sections of the Code of Student Conduct (!). My friends said she has strangely mentioned specific sections of the Code of Student conduct allegedly saying my dismissal was related to breaking them. My labmates were so scared of her that didn’t even forward the email to me but only to SGS Vice-Dean given Jean’s harsh threats to not share it with me as they feared immediate dismissal by Jean. Knowing her very well, I knew for sure she just got scared over the consequences of dismissing a student for disability and wanted to come up with some reasons as she is expected to have a reason but she surely didn’t have a reason (even SGS formally confirmed this later!). After, my labmates forwarded Jean’s email to SGS Vice-Dean (Prof. Charmaine Williams) and the Department Chair (Prof. Thomas Kislinger), they immediately agreed this is a false allegation and sent an email to the same recipients to rebuff Jean’s allegations. My labmates also told me Jean has told them not to respond to me or continue contacting me ever. This is really sad as these are the exact same things that Jean had told me about several students before me (Aras, Mehdy, etc) after kicking them out but this time it was my own turn apparently (and I have MS! It is not easy! I needed support not hate). I feel this is solely hate and just due to her discrimination while she is obliged to help me legally. One of my labmates told me (Jordan) that Jean has told him if he sees me around, he should contact security (???). I know, Jean was blinded by hate and not even able to understand my close friends know me well and my story and will tell me everything. This is again sadly similar to what she had told both of us (me and Jordan), before, about Aras and even Mehdy and Azin. Jordan mentioned this to me and also to SGS, maybe as proof that Jean is not acting rationally. One of my other labmates (Azin) left Jean’s lab in a semi-dramatic way days later, after Jean dismissed me and she told me in private she can no longer tolerate seeing Jean every week after what she did to me. The sad irony was that not long ago I myself intervened to reduce Jean’s anger towards Azin, but this time was my own turn! At this point, I was so ill as stress makes MS even worse that couldn’t walk at all.

Seeing this dramatic situation, right away I informed MBP Chair and Vice-Chair and Vice Dean of SGS (Prof. Charmaine Willaims) about MS and told them Jean is only doing this as she knows I am ill as otherwise I am a super hardworking, polite student and Jean was very proud of me and we never had any real issue besides MS-related issues and I really want her as my supervisor. MBP and SGS told me nothing but I obviously guessed she has pretended we have conflict to get rid of me. MBP chair Prof. Thomas Kislinger (who has never talked to me and I had almost zero communication with him) didn’t agree to investigate my claim and didn’t take me seriously and only with an impolite tone, implied this is my own fault (I don’t know as a scientist how can he judge about a situation that he knows nothing about!). I am too upset about Prof. Kislinger’s biased and unfair treatment of me without spending any time meeting me even once knowing this in an exceptional situation. I think this is proof of his irresponsible behavior towards MBP students. Still, SGS Vice-Dean told me no student can get dismissed because of illness at UofT, which made me initially hopeful. Days later, SGS Vice-Dean told me UofT has agreed to do an investigation on what happened and the reasons behind my dismissal as Jean didn’t tell them the whole story about my illness when she kicked me out and I know she had only pretended to SGS that we have had real conflict to get rid of an ill student. Who does this to a student with MS after giving him strong promises for support???

SGS didn’t even ask me to provide my own claims and the investigation was mostly focused on whether or not Jean had a valid reason for dismissing me. SGS investigator Prof. Peter McPherson after interviewing me and Jean and most of the people in her lab (testifying in my support!) formally concluded I got dismissed with “insufficient justification” with no guilt and no wrongdoing and that I had good academic standing. SGS investigator completely rejected all of Jean’s weird claims that I had any kind of inappropriate behavior and that we had any conflict and those were the reasons for my dismissal. See this for the censored report that I got. Jean’s allegations were super weird and obviously made-up, for example, her claims were things like I am sexist and racist and interrupt her lab (she was saying these exact same things about Aras as well after his dismissal) while all her lab knows I was the politest student in her lab, closest to her than anyone ever and that I used to hold her birthday party and she had told me many times that she is not as good as I think (meaning I am so polite and have such a high opinion of her, even higher than what she thinks of herself!). Indeed, SGS sent the original report (I know it was in 10 pages) to UofT legal team (Ms. Sara Gottlieb and Heather Skelton) and heavily censored it to less than 1.5 pages (they only gave me the censored version) but all these facts exist even in the censored version that they finally gave me. I don’t know the content of the original version as they didn’t give it to me. I asked SGS Vice-dean and she didn’t give it to me and even formally requested the FIPP office and they formally informed me in a letter that UofT has blocked my access to the original report as it may be used against UofT or something ( as I can understand it this direction comes from the UofT President or his delegate). I feel they are scared as they know, there are severe consequences to dismissing a student, who is even Scholar-at-Risk for a serious disability for, formally-proven-to-be, fabricated reasons. Still, SGS told me Jean refuses to supervise me now that I have an illness and they can’t force her (they surely can, they just didn’t want to!) while they can confirm I did nothing wrong and I got kicked out without justification. I even asked SGS investigator to arrange a meeting with me and Jean and him but Jean didn’t agree. I reminded them it is illegal, immoral, against human rights, a brazen form of discrimination and a serious crime, and directly against UofT policy and commitment to dismiss and hurt a student for disability with made-up reasons but this didn’t change anything. SGS Vice-Dean told me UofT won’t even consider my own complaints (SGS didn’t ask me for my own complaints in the previous investigation) further and we only discussed the possibility of suing Jean for discrimination in court as she said UofT will not do anything else. I strongly insisted for my own claims be also investigated, as per UofT policy, but SGS Vice-Dean didn’t agree and only told me there is no Code of Conduct for Faculty members and no mechanism to complain! Though I don’t think she was the sole decision-maker but rather SGS Dean and Acting VP of Students and UofT Vice-President were decision-makers. This is the way UofT treats a totally innocent Scholar-at-Risk student, that has won multiple back-to-back scholarships days after getting a serious disability. Getting kicked out like a dog with hate! This is how much UofT cares about human rights. About Dr. Chen I can’t even start talking, I do not know her anymore because if she is the same person that gave me promises after MS this situation is impossible.

I have now seen confidential letters from the Department Chair (Prof. Thomas Kislinger) and Dr. Chen (letter sent on Department letterhead, see here) that they both have sent to SGS (both have signed the letter), absurdly asking SGS to just change the conclusion that says I’ve gotten dismissed with “insufficient justification” and the formal conclusion that I have been totally innocent in every aspect. SGS (Prof. Chariamine Williams), has rejected this, saying SGS can’t just change the result of an investigation and interfere with the conclusions of the investigator (see this). I have no idea why should Department Chair send such a letter as he hasn’t been involved at all in my story (hasn’t talked to me even once) and he is legally obliged to remain neutral, but he hasn’t. This letter was sent on department letterhead which makes me really wonder about Prof. Kislinger’s motivation to sign this letter! Prof. Kislinger, without any information related to the situation, has consistently treated me with discrimination, insult and has harassed me with his rude messages that directly contradict the facts (Like saying I have been kicked out due to my own mistakes! Opposite to SGS’s formal conclusion), and has been one of the main causes of my stress with his insulting behavior. He could have saved me or at least meet me once! But he ignored his duty and chose to unfairly take side against a disabled innocent student who is Scholar-at-Risk. Right after Jean dismissed me for the illness, I even told him to stop her as I am innocent and there is no justification and this is related to my illness. As is his usual, he only sent me an insulting email implying this is my own fault. Now that the SGS conclusion, as well, confirmed my full innocence and unfair dismissal, instead of trying to help, he has tried to change the conclusion! Instead of helping me or admitting to his mistakes. I hope Prof. Thomas Kislinger resigns from his role as the Department Chair (Medical Biophysics) as he has proven that he is not able to remain impartial and protect a disabled Scholar-at-Risk student with MS in MBP that has formally proven to be innocent. If a responsible person was the Department chair I would not have suffered this much. His negligence has caused me unimaginable suffering that I did not deserve and I can’t forget.

It is worth mentioning, that consistently Baycrest’s and Dr. Chen’s behavior was unfair to me and indicative of hatred. For example, I asked Baycrest, now that I have been kicked out for MS at least put a message on my email to direct people to my UofT email as I have a major paper under review right now (Dr. Chen cut off my email access even before dismissal! See here). I said people only have my Baycrest email and it is urgent. I really asked ten times and sent many emails and waited many weeks but nothing happened. I knew if Jean wants, it takes just 1 minute. I finally sent another email to Baycrest IT and Ms. Lazarus and CC’d Dr. Chen (hoping she helps with her power knowing how important this is) to facilitate this for me, as this is very important. Right away I got an email from campus police (???) that Dr. Chen claims I harass her based on one email that she was CC’d. I still do not know the details but I know she hated me after MS so so much that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me, I was so upset at Jean’s reactions that words are not enough for me to express my emotions. This is not the way a Scholar-at-Risk student with MS should be treated at UofT. Who treats her hardworking student after he gets MS with hate like this??? I held Dr. Chen a birthday party 2 weeks before MS and everyone knows she was proud but now that I’ve gotten ill she just treats me like trash. I still deserve to live!

As my illness was progressing further and I was ill and scared, I sent several polite emotional emails to Jean telling her MS is extremely hard for me and I am not able to fight with anyone anymore. I reminded her that I was fully counting on her help and she has promised, not to kick me out and support me and reminded her that in terms of respect, she was like family to me before MS and I have no future if she backs down now with MS. I kept asking for her help on human grounds. I also asked her what is gonna happen to my several papers in the almost final stage and my files but she never ever responded and only told SGS, I harass her by begging without providing any form of response, even once, about any of my many concerns and questions. Not even once did she respond to me to even help me get back my stuff back including my medical documents. Indirect contact through SGS and the department was totally useless (I exhausted this) as she was trying to distract them or was giving an unrelated response and her hate was already obvious to me. Nothing in my life, not even MS, made me more upset but seeing her hateful reaction and kicking me out like an animal after my several years of super extremely hard work for her lab (up to 80 hours per week) and refusing to even give me and explanation or even give back my stuff. She even shook my hands several times promising she won’t kick me out as she knows my unique situation aside from illness, but still did it with utmost cruelty. I didn’t know people do this to each other and was thinking it is impossible.

Around this time, on the other hand, I asked Prof. John Sled (Department Vice-Chair) to talk to Jean so that given I am ill she at least allows me to use some of my past research. I specifically had a major paper on the verge of acceptance in a prestigious journal. Dr. Sled before talking to Jean said he is optimistic as this is for everybody's benefit and I was also thinking Jean knows, better than anyone, that I can’t continue without this paper given my illness so she will surely agree. Prof. Sled soon reported back to me after speaking to Jean (see this) that Jean has stated she is gonna ask for retraction for all my already accepted abstracts and if I even try to publish my main paper she is gonna ask for retraction as well. She doesn’t want to be an author and just wants this paper to not get published (ever). Prof. Sled said he has explained to her the importance of this paper for me [probably given my condition] but Jean hasn’t changed her inhuman position at all. Sadly, this is fully aligned with her treatment of me with “hate” after my condition started. I begged other PIs that were co-author that I have MS and it is extremely hard for me to afford to lose what I already have due to only hate. This paper was also extremely important and the result of years of my super hard work (coming to Baycrest at 7:30 am, even coming on Weekends! Working 12 hours a day, etc!) but Jean didn’t change her mind or her hate at all. MBP Chair (Prof. Thomas Kislinger), who always has had insulting behavior towards me, as usual, told me I should just leave this paper and implied indirectly that he approves Jean’s behavior without even trying to help me. I was very shocked.

On the other hand, another major cruel thing that my supervisor did was that Dr. Chen without my permission disclosed that I am ill to my committee and most of the other faculty members that were willing to take me. She even called me “mentally ill” in emails and forwarded those emails to all department admins and my supervisory committee (her March 1st email and etc). She did that because I told her myself in confidence that my MS Neurologist has prescribed me an anti-depression medication as I was depressed about getting an incurable illness and this is totally normal for people that get MS. But sadly, Dr. Chen was using this confidential information to humiliate me in front of everyone. I told the SGS Vice-Dean of Students (Prof. Williams) and the Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy (FIPP) office in UofT (Ms. Kelly Carmichael and Lindsay Mills) about this but they only concluded this was an error from Jean (error???) and told me they warned her not to repeat this. I told them that this is an error that ruins my life and causes me major permanent damage as it changes the way people look at me but I got nothing more. I have written evidence that I had strongly told Jean not to tell anyone about my illness (like this) but she kept telling everybody. Based on my own horrible experience, I think students' privacy and the FIPP office are truly meaningless at UofT. Seeing there are absolutely no consequences for violating students' privacy at UofT, Dr. Chen has even tweeted against me in Oct 2020 and repeated her already disproven allegations (formally disproven by SGS) that I have had bad behavior (to pretend illness was not her reason). I felt this was because the rumor that she has dismissed me for MS was spreading and she knew this is horrible for her reputation so she was trying to damage me as revenge. Her tweets were seen by thousands of people. I Informed the FIPP office and SGS Vice Dean of Students again and they only convinced Jean to delete her tweets after a week. They again warned her not to do this but this warning was as useless as always. There are no consequences for a faculty doing this sort of thing.

In another cruel action based on hate, Jean also contacted some of my main collaborators in Europe to threaten them so they don’t work with me anymore and has mentioned to other PIs I am not allowed to use any of my past research so that no one agrees to take me to finish my half-finished research. As Jean had disclosed I am ill already, Jean and others knew that due to my illness, I am not able to start something from scratch but still, I had plenty of research, in the final stages, from the past that all had gotten blocked by Jean, gotten destroyed, or are missing and I can’t locate them even now as Jean doesn’t respond to me at all out of hate. Jean had even hired new healthy trainees to continue my research, conceptualized from scratch by myself (like this and this) and indeed originally based on my Master’s research (like this, so totally unrelated to Jean’s lab) and I am sure this is part of the reason she doesn’t want me to use my past research (almost all my Ph.D. was conceptualized by myself not Jean). She was saying she is proud of this before she kicks me out for MS. Even at first when I got ill she swore to help me finish my research with illness and not to kick me out but she still kicked me out and gave my Ph.D. to newly hired students and UofT only watches and does nothing. I was way too upset. Who does this to her student after MS?

At the same time, being ill, I was trying to at least get back my personal belonging and files from Jean and Baycrest. It was going ahead super extremely slow as Jean was not responding at all and was slowing down and blocking the process to the full extent of her power out continuous hate. I was not able to get any of my main, useful files back not even the ones that were fully conceptualized and written by myself or even belonged to before my Ph.D., I couldn’t even take those back from Baycrest and Dr. Chen. I wasn’t even able to get back files that others funded those. I wasn’t even able to get my medical records left in the lab. I had so many items, hard drives, USB sticks with important files on them etc, none of them were ever found! She tells SGS that everything belongs to her lab and doesn’t respond to further communication. SGS Vice-Dean of Students (Prof. Charmaine Williams) was no more than a passive intermediator with zero authority to push Jean and everything was still up to Jean. Jean exactly knew what are the files and items that can save me as I’d told her exactly what I need, many times, before and after illness, and had blocked or reassigned (without permission) specifically those items to damage me from where it hurts the most (But I have MS! I can’t redo things, It is not human!). Begging her in a super heartbreaking way didn’t change anything as her heart seemed to turn into stone. I can’t believe a supervisor goes this far to damage a student for disability out of just anger.

I mentioned this to Prof. Williams many times but she is not an expert in this field and only was telling me Jean tells her everything belongs to her and I am lying about anything and everything (I know Jean was hateful). I asked for an independent review so that Jean can’t block my stuff out of hate but no one agreed. As usual, by sending many super emotional and extremely polite emails to Jean I tried to soften her heart by reminding her my MS is progressive and I am very ill and suffer from MS symptoms that limit me and need extra support and if she continues to block my research I may get more ill and become completely unable to continue, but as usual no response. Maybe if she would have cared she wouldn’t have kicked me out for illness in the first place. SGS Vice-Dean Prof. Williams also told me several times that I should not contact Jean as apparently, she hates me (this is a serious crime and directly violates UofT policy to hate a student and block his stuff for disability without any guilt or wrongdoing), Prof. Williams herself was not able to do anything for me as Jean was either lying to her or was deviating her. I am not sure what I was expected to do? Just die because Dr. Chen hates people with disability and refuses to even spend 1 hour giving me back all the files that can help me and all my medical documents? It is sad that UofT has zero leverage over a faculty member. Some of my items were found after I sent like a thousand emails to everyone but even for those, I eventually couldn’t take them back as Jean finally blocked my access in the final stage. I just want to cry, just remembering how much I have suffered due to this. Dr. Chen’s hate is really scary !!!

In the meantime, Dr. Kislinger sent me a few more threatening, insulting emails that I should go to a different lab otherwise I will get kicked out of the program. Making me even more nervous and scared. I reminded him that I had a lab! and I had very good academic standing! and I did nothing wrong! (according to SGS itself!) but still I got dismissed with fabricated justification as I got MS and my supervisor inhumanly refuses to help and this is SGS’s formal conclusion and a crime and immoral and illegal, but he was as indifferent as always. Dr. Kislinger was of absolutely no use to get back my files and belonging and only has insulted me each time I contacted him (which was not many times).

I was constantly super emotional over this unfair situation. I clearly knew as long as Jean doesn’t want to cooperate nothing happens so I constantly was referring to my proven innocence and my serious illness (to morally soften Jean’s position) and even I asked for an investigation or just one meeting so that I can get my files/medical documents back and be able to continue but Jean never ever responded nor did Ms. Lazarus or Prof. Sekuler. I was also VERY scared of Jean’s threat to retract anything that I publish and I asked her to at least take this threat back so that I can work on something but she wasn’t responding. I was really scared while being ill with MS, I hardly spend time finishing up something, and then she retracts it afterward out of hate. I was not able to mentally accept this. VP of Research in Baycrest (Prof. Allison Sekuler) also was refusing to even respond to me once so that I can get my files properly. I kept emphasizing my situation with MS but this had no effect on anything. At some point, after around a year and hundreds of emails, SGS Vice-Dean informed me some files are ready which after I carefully checked I realized are some useless files as I expected and the main files that I expected were missing. I informed SGS these are not what I am expecting but nothing changed. I already knew to myself that as long as Jean wants to destroy me with hate I won’t be able to get any useful files from anyone as eventually, it is her decision. I was so so extremely frustrated over Jean’s hateful behavior toward me despite my illness and despite her initial strong promises to be kind and supportive of me with illness and despite my extremely hard work for her before the illness, that I was constantly in shock over her actions. Words are not enough to describe my feeling.

I asked SGS and Baycrest to at least let me partially use my past research items like the main phantom that I had and was a major part of my Ph.D. (took me 1 year to make it before MS, by working extremely hard and collaborating with so many people) and it was ready and functional and was working and totally useless to Dr. Chen as it was built based on my own idea by my own hands. I was only told indirectly and briefly that Dr. Chen doesn’t allow my hands to reach this, no matter what. I explained that she hasn’t even paid for this phantom and someone else has paid in Europe but I got no more useful responses from anyone. I asked my friends in the lab to just find out what happened to this phantom but they were scared to even ask Jean as Jean may right away dismiss them out of sudden anger. As always, I begged Jean directly to fix it as I need it and I am ill but she only forwards my email to SGS that I harass her without any form of response or cooperation, even once. I still don’t even know what happened to this specific phantom. Who does this to a hardworking student that she is proud of when he gets MS out of hate? What did I do to deserve this much hate? I continue to wonder and SGS tells me I did nothing wrong so this is just hatred due to my illness. UofT policy is just not being followed in UofT and no one cares (this, this).

As I had no one to help me, I have reached out to the UofT office of the Ombudsperson countless times and I might have used it more than any other student in UofT’s history (Ms. Kristi Gourlay). Ms. Gourlay knows the details of my story as I have explained to her my illness and everything else. Indeed, very early on, she told me implicitly in emails that it does not matter much what the situation is, UofT won’t do anything against a faculty member and can’t force her for anything to address my concerns and UofT may confront me if I insist on this and her final suggestions were all just going to court against Jean/UofT. As I said, my illness, my international status and my super fragile personal situation don’t leave me with that much energy, I am scared about retaliation given my own unstable situation and I don’t think suing anyone helps me directly to save myself (unless for revenge or to apply justice), so I stopped short here.

I repeatedly asked the Dean of SGS (Prof. Joshua Barker) and VP of students (Prof. Micah Stickel and then Prof. Sandy Welsh) to investigate my claims about being discriminated against and getting kicked out for MS and being treated with hatred but to my disbelief, they were not even agreeing to formally investigate my claims (!!!) although my situation is directly related to violation of the UofT Policy. I only got short letters from the Dean of SGS and acting Vice-Provost of students that they do not agree to even investigate my claims and threatened me not to talk to anyone about Dr. Chen and events surrounding my dismissal for MS otherwise I will get suspended (!!!). I did not know threatening students with MS to not follow their valid concerns is part of their job. The only thing they seemed to really care about was to make sure I don’t talk to anyone about my unfair dismissal (!). I have not been able to even convince them to meet me once despite asking countless times and Prof. Stickel sadly kept telling me a meeting is not required! He never agreed to hear my concerns or investigate them. I do not know what is his obligation, but apparently helping UofT’s Scholar-at-Risk that has been unfairly kicked out a few days after MS (SGS conclusion) is not one of them. I think both Prof. Joshua Barker and Micah Stickel should be ashamed of themselves for ignoring me in this inhuman way and threatening me, I never heard even one word related to support from them despite my proven innocence and MS. The saddest thing is that Dr. Baker is the same person that had given me a Scholars-at-Risk fellowship but now that I am at real risk and need support he just doesn't even respond! I later realized their threats were related to Dr. Chen, confidentially requesting them so so many times to put inhuman pressure on me to silence me so that no one knows I have gotten dismissed with “insufficient justification” by her after MS. At the same time she blocked my research and file access to make sure I fail to continue given my MS. Instead of stopping this from happening, UofT has only resorted to threatening me as per Jean’s request so that no one knows what happens inside UofT to students with a disability that are Scholar-at-Risk as well.

I have sent many emails directly to UofT President (Prof. Meric Gertler). You can see my many emails to UofT President at various points in time and my requests to meet him in this folder. I have NEVER gotten any form of response from him EVER. I wish I knew this is the way the UofT treats its students, before accepting my Scholar-at-Risk fellowship and coming to UofT as I had many other admissions to better Universities in the US with better funding but I thought Canada cares for human rights so much and it was important for me. UofT and Dr. Chen hurt their Scholar-at-Risk fellow at the time of my direct need in the utmost inhuman way. This is just not right.

In late 2020, I sent an email to Baycrest’s President (Prof. Williams Reichman) and Vice-President of Research (Pof. Allison Sekuler), and Baycrest’s HR (Andreas Przybylo), related to the situation. Baycrest’s President didn’t even respond to me but I was told by Prof. Sekuler that two investigations allegedly started in early 2021 related to my emails. The one in Baycrest HR apparently absurdly ended without any of my input or interviewing me (if it is real at all and I can’t believe it was even real) and they only told me I won’t get even its results as I may misuse it or something against Baycrest (see this, Andrea Przybylo told me this; from Baycrest HR). The one related to blocking and destroying and reassigning my research (Funded by CIHR) was handed down to Prof. Howard Chertkow. I told Prof. Chertkow I don’t want revenge, just want him to intervene and talk to Jean so that I can save some of my past research so that CIHR money doesn’t get wasted. I also informally explained to him my condition with MS. He said his job is not to intervene and Baycrest didn’t even agree to formally initiate the research investigation upon my request (See this email for my communication with Prof. Sekuler and the head of SRCR about this). I sent complaints to Prof. Sekuler and Chertokow but no response. I sent complaints to the Secretariat on Responsible Conduct of Research (SRCR, Dr. Zimmerman, see this) but I basically was told it is up to the hospital. I suggest other students not go this path as people that take care of these allegations are very heavily biased towards protecting their own scientists and have very clear conflicts of interests and no way anything fair comes out of these channels. For example, Prof. Sekuler who was responsible to take care of my complaints was Dr. Chen’s co-author at the same conference that was subject to my complaint. She was forwarding all my emails to Jean, even the ones that she legally should not have, putting me in more danger. Obviously, nothing fair comes out of this process. In Baycrest, they barely were even responding to me and had a tone like I have insulted them by just raising allegations. I am surprised Canada has such an unfair way to take care of research misconduct complaints as the respondent and the judging party are basically the same entity. They treated me with so much rudeness that I regret starting this process now. I even sent letters to the research integrity office at UofT ( this and this) and the UofT Vice-President of Research but he as well basically told me it is only up to the hospital (see this and my response). I was always politely begging Jean for anything that I wanted before contacting any office (as I knew she gets super angry if I contact anyone so I always was begging her first) but hatred was preventing her from responding to me.

At this point, I also realized Dr. Chen has given part of my PhD project, fully conceptualized by myself alone (it was indeed started as part of my Masters's in Iran many years ago), to a newly hired co-op student and is presenting it at a conference (see this and this and this and this). I knew because this was the same stuff she asked me to accurately document right after my illness started so I was already expecting her to give this part to a new student after my dismissal for MS. It breaks my heart because it is a topic fully conceptualized by me and Jean had no history of working on this topic before I start this in her lab, fully based on my own idea (see her CV here and search for Monte Carlo before 2020). I sent a very detailed letter to Prof Sekuler and Chertkow with scientific details to stop Jean but they sent me a very short letter saying Jean does not accept this allegation without any form of response to my super-accurate detailed allegations. They told me they won’t respond to me further with the rude tone that they always had for me. I again regret thinking anything fair comes out of this process as it is structurally flawed. I brought this to the attention of Prof. Charmaine Williams and Prof. Reinhart Reithmeier (Vice-Dean, Faculty of Medicine who was helping me to some level) but nothing happened. Prof. Reithmeier was really nice and supportive to me but unable to do anything to Jean’s hatred and I was bound to get her help given my condition. Who kicks out a student for MS and gives his ideas to a new healthy student to continue the work? What can happen in a University worse than this? I wasn’t even able to stop her! I was so upset about Jean’s actions that MS was the second thing that was making me upset and depressed.

I was stuck and wasn’t working on my PhD as I couldn’t and really depressed and ill at this time. In January 2021, I got a letter from Dean Barker saying Dr. Chen through Dr. Kislinger (Not a surprised, no wonder Dr. Kislinger was so upset about the previous SGS conclusion!) has again(!) filed a complaint against me according to the Code of Student Conduct (again!) based on another round of made-up twisted inhuman unproven allegations that I am telling people that Jean has kicked me out for MS (and this damages her reputation)and I insist on getting my stuff back. Apparently Jean was hoping she can finish off her poor student after MS by inhuman misuse of this process, instead of being kind and supporting me as she promised me (she didn’t help me after MS not even for 1 hour to get my stuff!). I know Jean kept pressuring SGS to not let others know she has kicked me out for MS without justification. Dean Barker has set me some inhuman impossible-to-follow rules and was saying I should not violate them no matter what. See Dean Barker’s twisted letter here (including many lies here) and see my detailed response to his inhuman letter here. I explained to SGS Vice-Dean that my MS is in a way that I NEED EXTRA SUPPORT and CANT FIGHT WITH ANYONE and this investigation due to Dr. Chen’s hate is inhuman and unfair and they only threaten me not to talk to anyone instead of forcing Jean to cooperate just a bit to help me move on. But SGS didn’t care as usual.

I even asked Prof. Williams how come they don’t take into account my claims against Jean related to my kick out for MS and her actions based on hatred as I am ill, at all, but they consider Jean’s inhuman allegations already disproven by SGS, again and again. Prof. Williams only said because at UofT there is No Code of Faculty Conduct and there is only a Code of Student Conduct (???). How inhuman is this? So a faculty can kick out a poor student days after finding out the student is very ill and needs help, despite her direct promises that she won’t do it, with invalid justification (even SGS says invalid!), and do what she can to crush the student to the ashes but if the student just resists on getting his files and research items back or one meeting to find out what happened to his stuff and medical documents, he gets faced with an absurd Code of Student Conduct investigation??? I again reiterate Jean after illegally kicking me out for MS hasn’t responded to me EVEN ONCE as she apparently claims she hates me without any reason (this is a crime and directly violates UofT policy to treat someone with illness with hate with no reason). Even now that I am typing this I still don’t know what happened to many of my main research and personal items, patent, etc. I was and I am so frustrated that Jean wants to make sure I can’t continue out of her hate. I really trusted her and was counting on her help and even liked her. What did I do to deserve this besides being a hardworking student? MS was not my fault! I am not supposed to just die if MS makes Dr. Chen uncomfortable. She is obliged to help me and if not at least doesn't finish me off with disability and give me all my stuff nicely.

Out of a desperate need to change this inhuman situation, I tried to very politely ask many other scientists that knew Jean to intervene on compassionate grounds but Jean never ever responds to them, or if she responds she just tells them I am crazy and want to harass her and they should not respond back to me at all and they should block my email. Jean doesn’t want others to know what she has done to me. This is similar to what she did with Aras. I really don’t know why, as I was careful to send super polite emails and I was just mentioning I have MS and need Jean’s help and she doesn’t respond to me or SGS. No matter how much I have insisted Jean, to at least meet me once even indirectly, so that I can at least get my personal files that are useless to her (and I am the owner) and can get my Ph.D. with MS in a few months with the help of my committee, she doesn’t agree or respond. I was so depressed and upset over this situation and lack of support from UofT that I was thinking about giving up on everything as I also have MS and need to get help. Others in my family are unwell and I have and had a heartbreaking situation but Jean’s hate damaged me the hardest. I have seen emails (see my attached documents) that after I told Jean in an email that I can’t continue my life if she doesn’t help me to get back my own files, given my unique situation, she still hasn’t responded to me (!!! even me dying wasn’t pushing her to respond once!) but apparently has had a meeting with Prof. Sandy Welsh (VP of Students), Prof. Heather Boon (VP of Faculty) and SGS-Vice Dean of Students (Prof. Charmaine Williams) and Prof. Thomas Kislinger (Department Chair), over the fact who should take the blame if I die over this situation. Prof. Williams claims for my stress and frustration Jean is not responsible (then who is responsible! Prof. Williams herself is surely responsible!). The email exists in my attached documents. I think this letter from the highest level UofT admins sums up how much UofT cares for a student in need of support; they prefer the student to die but they still refuse to help him or meet him once. In this important letter, Jean also says she wants to help me to graduate (???) but all her actions tell me the exact opposite and though in my heart I like to believe she is serious, all the evidence tells me this is just a false gesture and in her heart, she just wants to see me fail or die out of unfounded hate. This is why I think UofT policy is not being followed at all (this link).

Obviously, I have had continuous serious issues with MS and its progressive nature and was so upset about Jean’s hatred and I also have and had a very unique family situation (there are others in my family with serious health conditions) on top (I am even UofT’s Scholar-at-Risk) so I really needed extra support for sure. In early 2021, I got totally disappointed to be able to achieve any progress through conventional channels in UofT without convincing Jean. Given my illness, I was ONLY able to finish my current research, and Jean needed to give me data and my files and not retract my papers. Also, take back her threats to retract anything that I publish as it was too much mental pressure for me to work on something with illness and then she retracts them. As far as I was able to understand, this was the only way. Anything that I have, has some kind of relationship with Jean in one way or another. As such, in early 2021, I was sending more polite emails to Jean only begging her emotionally to facilitate my situation given I have a progressive illness so that I can continue with MS as I told her I don’t want MS to be the end for me and reminded her that she promised to be supportive and we shook each other’s hands over this. I just needed her not to stop me or not to block me. I kept telling her that I really respect her and with MS I need extra support to at least get my files back and get data access and my stuff that is useless to her and be helped to the minimum level but never ever got any response. At the same time, I sent several letters to the UofT’s Vice-Provost of students (Prof. Sandy Welsh) explaining to her this situation is not tolerable for me and I need extra support and asked her to at least meet me once to see what I have to say if they don’t start formally investigating my claims but she was not responding me at all. She hasn’t responded to me even once! This is how much UofT cares for its Scholar-at-Risk student.

I kept explaining to everybody given my unique condition a bit of help is required from Jean, and I am not able to move on or do anything given the current situation. Apparently, at this time, upon Dr. Chen’s constant requests to SGS, Dean Barker sends an email to UofT Vice President, Prof. Cheryl Regehr, in response to Jean’s request that she should suspend me (all details and communications in here) and Prof. Regehr apparently suspends me for a few days and then reversed it herself at some point in Feb 2021. As I can understand, it was directly based on Jean’s inhuman claims that I am threatening her or damaging her reputation (not sure how?). It was not making a real difference for me as I was basically already on hold given the inhuman situation and lack of support from UofT/Jean after I got kicked out for MS but still it is inhuman and unfair and a misuse of power and the opposite of what UofT was supposed to do. I explained to Prof. Cheryl Regehr I have MS and I am ill and in need of extra support but she didn’t care and never responded. I had no one to help me so, in a few days, I sent Jean two similar heartbreaking polite emails (that I am now sure she hasn’t even received as she has whitelisted her email account) and asked her for her minimum support on human reasons so that MS doesn’t end my life (this email and this email; both super polite and just begging) but I got again an email after a few minutes from UofT Vice President Prof. Cheryl Regehr that I have gotten suspended (due to Jean’s direct request) as I have allegedly broken the [illegal, made-up] direction that I should not contact Dr. Chen at all for my valid concerns, and should not talk to anyone through any platform ever about my inhuman dismissal and my illness and Dr. Chen. In the inhuman letter Dr. Regher absurdly alleges they are worried for Jean’s life given my polite emails. Apparently, if her own student with MS begs her for a bit help, Dr. Chen gets worried for her life. This is just absurd and inhuman and illegal and aligned with the pattern of behavior that Jean has used to get rid of several of her past trainees. As of today, I still don’t know where does these directions come from and what else was I expected to do? What am I supposed to do without help? Is it unreasonable for me to expect to get back my stuff fairly after an unfair kick out for MS? Should I just die because Dr. Chen doesn’t follow UofT policy and hates me as I have gotten MS? Is this what UofT Policy says? How come UofT doesn’t even investigate my own claims? I sent several letters to Prof. Regehr to explain my situation and my illness (details here), and also asked to meet her, she didn’t respond and didn’t agree to meet. This is how much UofT cares for a Scholar-st-Risk student after he gets MS. I also super emotionally asked Jean that given my illness and hard family situation to help me but she also doesn’t respond as usual. To be clear I haven’t been able to have hatred for Jean due to my emotional personality, I am just broken-hearted and in shock that she wants to make sure I fail after MS in this cruel way.

For me, it didn’t make that much of a real difference given I was not able to do anything, given my illness and the fact Jean had blocked all my research, but as far as I can understand, Prof. Regehr has done the utmost inhuman and maybe illegal misuse of her power because UofT can only suspend a student (temporarily) when there is an immediate life-threatening threat from the student (there is something related to this is the student code of conduct) and even then, only until this gets proven or disproven in a hearing. Even a child can understand this was obviously not the case for me and I am sure UofT and Jean knew this much better. I am disabled with something serious and I keep telling them that I need extra help now that they kicked me unfairly for illness but UofT doesn’t seem to understand and Jean doesn’t care and just hates me and wants to see me fail. I have a very unique situation at home and they knew and never in my life threatened Dr. Chen but politely begged her to give me back my files and medical documents and provide me with the stuff needed for me to continue. I really don’t know this new Dr. Chen after I got MS. In my head, she is still the same as before MS and I expect her help as she promised me in person.

I am attaching ALL the documents to this letter to show I am telling the truth and UofT is not (here and here). UofT has also my permission to disclose anything related to me to anyone. I really feel UofT is using this absurd made-up excuse to get rid of me as they can’t kick me out directly (my MS and full innocence have been proven by SGS itself) and instead of stopping Jean from kicking out a student for MS with “ insufficient justification” and providing the minimum help, they succumbed to Jean’s request out of her hate to hurt me more as they don’t want to confront her. I don’t hate her at all but I can’t stop her hate towards myself no matter how much I beg her. I was sending daily emails to SGS to inquire about the situation and to Jean to help me as my MS doesn’t allow me to resort to more complicated ways of getting support (like legal) but I was getting almost no response.

I still can’t believe Jean does this to me with this much cruelty after so so many nice promises and I no longer can process these events emotionally. I can’t believe she is the same person as the one that promised me her honor to be extremely nice and human to the extent of her power so that illness doesn’t end my life. If she doesn't want me after MS, despite her promises to her honor for help, can’t she just give me back all my stuff and gives me data access, nicely as I am ill so that I can finish my research that was already almost done??? There are many other faculty members and my committee that will help me, but she doesn’t let me get help even from others. Jean was super proud of my Ph.D. before MS, I even held her a birthday party before MS! She promised me ten times and we shook hands that she won’t kick me out no matter how bad my illness becomes and instead of helping she kicks me while being ill and tries to hurt me as much as possible even afterward and refused to respond even once?

UofT almost stopped responding to me after this and I was only politely asking Jean to show some mercy as with MS and my hard family situation I can’t do anything besides hoping for her help and this will be the end for me if she insists on creating a fight. Later, in July 2021, Prof. Barker, said allegedly they have done an investigation without my involvement or my input and now he concludes I should go to a hearing to possibly get kicked out from UofT (what is my current status? I don’t know) if hearing says so (see here for all details related to his letter and my long response to his inhuman letter). As far as I can understand, the absurd inhuman allegations are related to why do I insist on sending emails to get my files/belonging/research back by sending emails to Dr. Chen (and she hasn’t responded EVEN ONCE) after she has already kicked me out for my MS with HATE. Apparently, I was expected to not insist and accept the hate and just give up, I also reminded them she hasn’t responded to me even once (she is obliged to do so) and I still don’t know what happened to some of my main belonging. I was told another unproven absurd allegation is that I have defamed Jean by telling people that I have MS and Dr. Chen had kicked me out unfairly. Apparently, the fact that I got dismissed with “insufficient justification” right after I told Jean I have MS and despite her promise to her honor that she won’t kick me out is somehow my own fault and my guilt! Sadly, in SGS’s letter, there is something related to Jean charging me with the police. I have not gotten anything and highly suspect she is lying as with her past trainees she has several times used this as a threat to get rid of them. So it is totally possible she is telling that just to defame me as this is her pattern of behavior and has done it with others before me. She does that when she is angry and wants to dehumanize people on a personal level to crush them out of hate so I am really not so shocked about the claim. But I am really shocked UofT doesn’t investigate anything that she says and just accepts them all, but they refuse to even listen to my complaints set aside investigating my complaints! These allegations are so inhuman and absurd given my unusal health situation that I can’t even start to wrap my mind around them. Jean and UofT don’t have a heart and try to hurt someone for illness in an utmost inhuman way. Someone that is formally UofT Schoalr-at-Risk! Indeed my first reaction to Dr. Barker’s email was to send an emotional email to Jean by CC’ing SGS admins telling her to save me as I am ill and she has promised me to be kind and I have MS and need her support. But she didn’t respond as always. I feel after I got MS, her heart has turned to stone. I also reminded Dean Barker that I am very ill and I am Scholar-at-Risk and he has given me this award so he should help me now and convince Jean to help me get back my stuff and research but he didn’t even respond. I very clearly explained to them and Jean that given my illness and my family situation my condition is heartbreaking and I need just a bit of help and if Jean just indirectly lets me use my own almost-finished research (that is useless to her) for a few months I am done, but I heard nothing back. I can’t absorb this much cruelty.

I later realized based on UofT evidence shared with me (here), Jean apparently constantly has asked SGS a billion times that they should not let me talk to people that Jean has kicked me out unfairly after I got MS as Jean thinks it damages her reputation ( I feel a more human way was to just not kick me out for MS!). I have seen even weird things like she alleges I may want to harm her (without any kind of proof) and maybe her family (without any kind of proof) and I should get suspended as I bad-mouth her as well and damage her reputation. I want to cry seeing Jean saying these sort of lies about me instead of helping as she promised but I am not very surprised as these are similar to the same allegations she was raising against her post-doc (“Aras”) and other trainees while I was in her lab (Azin, Mehdy, etc) when she wanted to defame them out of anger and hatred.

Seeing some documents, I now know, she has spent an unbelievable amount of energy sending countless emails that blows my mind, to SGS, just to try to make sure I lose my Ph.D. by raising back-to-back allegations about a wide range of matters and doing anything imaginable in her power to block my data access and my continuation in the program without responding to me even once. I did not expect this mch hate from her at all and these things to get rid of me given my health issue is super inhuman. If she was spending one-tenth of this energy to help me, I had finished my Ph.D. by now for sure. But sadly, hate doesn’t let her be supportive of me anymore after my illness. I still can’t believe she is the same person as before my illness started. If anything, she was nice and friendly with me and proud of my progress before illness, and always admired my hard work before my illness starts. Even at first, she was supportive but in 1-2 weeks she changed her mind and has been hateful to me ever since. I am ill and emotional and I respected her and I am unable to even start to understand why does she react like this out of pure hate after I got MS. I have indirectly seen some of Jean’s emails to SGS and for someone that doesn’t know me, it appears Jean is talking about a ruthless murderer as her tone is full of hate. SGS should have appointed a person like a psychologist to talk to her and locate the source of Jean’s dramatic hate. SGS says she has no justification but this is not enough and she is still hurting me and SGS should either formally or informally stop her. She was super proud of me and I was the student closest to her and this unjustified hate is crushing me. I just want to know what did I do to deserve this much hate? SGS and UofT should not let a student be faced with emotionally dramatic unfounded hatred (SGS confirmed it was unfounded) after disability. But UofT doesn’t follow its obligation and left me completely alone knowing I need help and did nothing but threaten me not to talk to anyone!

This is from late June 2021 and since this day UofT refuses to respond to me despite my many emails (not that they were very responsive before, but at least I was getting something once in a while). I have also mentioned to them I won’t ever go to a hearing as this is too inhuman given my health and I have a rare disease and can’t even do it and can’t even fight with anyone or properly get prepared as I am ill. Given I have MS and have been kicked out unfairly I don’t think they can’t push me forcefully and I was right. I insist I should get helped and my complaints should be considered and Jean also has to help me directly (at least for her own reputation if not for moral reasons) get back my stuff and even indirectly support me to get my Ph.D. as this is the only human solution. I know I am almost done with my Ph.D. (80-90%) and just a few months of support without hate is enough for me to graduate. If she doesn’t do this, what student wants to go to the lab of a PI that tortures her closest student after MS with hate? So she should help. She has promised me her full support in-person and we have shaken hands but she refuses to help as my MS got worse and now tries to crush me with hate. I already have all I need and with a bit of help and data access, I am done. Why should a person want to hurt her own student with hate after MS without any guilt? And not just any student I am UofT’s Scholar-at-Risk, I am international and Jean knows my hard personal situation as I have told her. Even if a PI wants to get rid of a super hardworking student after he gets MS it should be in a nice, human way but Jean uses all her power and her mind to destroy and defame a student that just has gotten MS while I always had looked up to her to get help not hate.

I was unsure what to do for a long time given my health and super fragile family condition (my family is troubled and really can’t handle more stress) and given my continuous hope for Jean’s help and change of behavior I kept waiting for that. I asked many people for their opinion to decide what to do. Other students mostly suggested me, sue Dr. Chen and/or Baycrest/UofT. But it is very hard for me with this kind of MS and my exceptional family situation and my international status and I just want minor accommodations with MS to get helped. If I sue Jean I am sure will try more to retaliate and I can’t handle that as I’m ill. Giving it huge publicity is also what others repeatedly suggested to me but still, this is some sort of revenge that I don’t want, and taking it outside UofT is not what I want as I still hope for getting help. I feel publicity inside UofT is a good idea as Jean and UofT/Baycrest may not morally/legally care for me but for their own reputation they will try to be human. I honestly don’t want to damage Jean’s reputation AT ALL and I don’t hate her AT ALL despite her hate for me, but she can’t expect me to just go die as she hates me, after MS, I still want and deserve a viable path forward without hate and Jean should stop trying to hurt me as I need help in this exceptional situation. I don’t know what else to do.

As my MS has gotten worse over the stress of this situation I have sent many many emotional emails to Jean and anyone imaginable in UofT to get help and clearly explained my heartbreaking medical and personal condition as I was thinking they are human and care for a student, that is Scholar-at-Risk fellow, in this super hard and inhuman situation. But this doesn’t seem to be the case and besides more hate, I got nothing and no response. I even tried to ask several faculty members that I knew are decent and human to try to intervene by talking to Jean like Profs. Simon Graham, Bradley MacIntosh and John Sled and Jim Woodget and Charles Cunningham but I realized (they told me!), Department Chair, Prof. Thomas Kislinger, has directly told them not to help me even informally and not to respond to me. I still don’t know why. Prof, Kislinger has done nothing for me besides hurting me and insulting me to the extent of his power by providing zero support and I really hope after I share my story he resigns from his role as Department Chair. I really think if someone like Prof. John Sled (current vice-chair) was the Chair my story was manageable in a human way.

This situation was and is mentally/emotionally extremely hard for me far beyond words. Jean’s dramatic hate, despite her initial strong promises for support and UofT/Baycrest’s full lack of support really crushed me in the past 1-2 years. What am I supposed to do after I lose my PhD which is the only thing that I have and I am talented in after MS? Jean knows this and promised to protect me. What Jean is doing to me has kept me in a state of shock and disbelief as I totally was counting on her being supportive of me and I can’t even properly absorb this whole situation to decide what to do next. After I got MS, although I was very extremely upset and depressed for a very long time, I was still thinking I can have a life as Jean will help me to get my Ph.D., and then I will think of something and can figure things out. With MS it is hard to do things and very extremely hard to find alternative plans for life. Her current behavior is just crushing me and was like a bullet to my head and I can’t absorb it. Rather than revenge, my feeling is still disbelief about the whole situation. For me, it is like time has stopped. We were so close that as I only see positive things in people, I think I didn’t respect anyone as much as her before I get my MS. She saw my condition with her eyes, saw I wasn’t even able to pick up my own phone, swore that she will support me, to finish my research and even told me she is worried and I even told my mother she is totally supportive of me and I believe her with my life. But then in a few days kicked me out like a dog and does weird things out of hate that I still can’t even believe like saying I want to harm her (!). Refuses to even talk once now that I need her help! The fact that without a reason (SGS conclusion) she kicked me out and now acts like I am a murderer and want to harass her and never responds and even asks others not to ever respond to me is a BILLION TIMES harder than MS itself for me, emotionally. MS causes my legs and hands to hurt and get gradually weaker but this inhuman behavior really crushed my heart. Jean even knows I was a Scholar-at-risk fellow at UofT and I’d told her about my super hard and unique family situation and I wonder how can she treat me like this now. Doesn’t she have a heart? Or compassion?

I am not sure what to do now and MS is making things very hard and I think it is only human for Dr. Chen and Baycrest and UofT to help me instead of hurting me with unjust hatred and absurd inhuman allegations. I can’t even try to have a life if I don’t fix this as with MS I really can’t find alternative plans in life and my personal situation is complicated. I mentioned this to Jean in person. From my point of view, I know, Dr. Chen’s help is still really required at least to give me a path and accept to even indirectly help me for things that cost her no time and no money and not treat me with hate. She has made things too complicated for me so I give up and she should change things for me herself now, as legally confronting her is very hard for me with my current MS complications and personal condition. She should not misuse this situation that I have an absolute need for help. I am now sure UofT and Baycrest will never ever put any pressure on a Canadian faculty member (unless after publicity) because of an international disabled student. If Jean allows me to use my past research and not to block me and retract my many papers for hate and revenge and stop saying falsely that I want to kill her and defame her (!!!???) instead of helping me, with SGS’s help I can publish my several final-staged papers in a few months and get my Ph.D. in 5-6 months but if she wants to be hateful like right now I can’t do anything but suffering. I don’t have the energy for a major conflict due to MS but I still want to get helped within my capacity. Dr. Chen should remember that others have helped her so that she is now a senior scientist and can take trainees and she has the obligation to her students to do the same even if they get ill and cause her extra trouble and need extra support. When a trainee that she is proud of comes to her with an unusual situation she is obliged to help and kicking him out and showing him hate, is not human. I don’t expect her to be like this.

This paragraph is just for Jean: you know with MS I have no future if you do anything besides helping me knowing I can’t even protect myself with MS. Please don’t be indifferent to this important thing, as important as your own student’s life. You swore and we shook hands about this situation and your support. I know your hatred is not real and as such I can’t even believe this situation and I continue to expect you to open up a smooth path for me as no matter what you feel, you should not want to end the life of your own hardworking ill student that has trusted you more than anyone for getting extra help. The way you are treating me is not human and not something I can handle. Not responding to my billion emails even once and leaving me to suffer and trying to make sure I fail is not human and unexpected of you. I can’t find alternative paths with MS and you need to at least clear my way with my Ph.D. and follow your promises. I still don’t know what to do without your help as I have no energy for conflict and only want your help and compassion.

Mahdi Khajeim
PhD Candidate, Department of Medical Biophysics